Jae's 4th Annual Trashy Halloween Costume Contest!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year, guys. That time when children use their imaginations to become whatever they want to be, and the time that costume companies decide all women want to dress like strippers.

I started the Annual Trashy Halloween Contest four years ago as a way to document the most ridiculous "sexy" costumes available to women (and as a way to stop people from seeing Bert and Ernie as sexual objects because that's gross). And every year, I laugh at my notes for this post because I have to write things like "Sexy Slice of Pizza" out to keep track of entries.

And I like that.

As usual, if you don't see you entry here, it was either used in a previous year OR someone beat you to it and sent the same one in first. Vote in the comments with the most egregious sexy offender and I'll tally up the votes Halloween morn. Winner gets $25 to Target and the title of "Best Trashy Costume Shamer in the Land!"

Are you ready for this? Yes. You were born ready. Let's go!

Sexy Ebola Containment Suit: Because the pain and suffering of an entire African region and thousands of people is SO HOT RIGHT NOW.

Seriously I will actually punch anyone who wears this so be aware of that. Thanks, Tiffany H. (or no thanks, you choose)

Jennifer W. sent in this Sexy Leatherface costume, Because when I think about a crazed lunatic who cuts off teenagers' faces, I often wonder if he had a special someone with smokin' legs. 

Meleah sent over this Sexy Martini, which I can only assume is desperate, not stirred. 

I don't know what you're talking about, Beth G. I have fantasies involving McDonald's french fries like, every night. 

Mostly that they magically become carb-free. 

Also, why is "Hot Fries" written on the crotch? It sounds like something you should probably get checked out. 

Michelle S. sent over this super sexy Blue Ox. Halloween: The only time when being called a "cow" can be construed as a compliment. Why yes, thank you, I am in fact a cow. 

Sexy Banana, you probably shouldn't make eye contact with anyone for the rest of the night. Thanks , Annie R.!

This Sexy Olaf costume was the one I received most frequently, and Alana K. was the first to send it in and remind me that "Do you like warm hugs?" wouldn't get old and tired AT ALL. 

Like, I'm not even trying to be dramatic right now, but if you sexify a cartoon snowman, I feel like you should probably be drowned in a pot of children's tears because that's friggin' creepy. 

This Sexy Bomb might "explode" and by "explode" I mean "stalk you on Facebook and act like she knows intimate details of your life by chance."

Because we all agree that women who dress like this on Halloween are insane. Like, burn your house to the ground because you didn't like her costume insane (Thanks Amy!)

Corinna T. sent me this sexy Mad Hatter (I think) costume. I think sexy costumes just get ambiguous over the year. Put on some knee-high socks and a short skirt and you can literally be "Sexy Anything."

Amy sent this Sexy Nerd over. Too bad it's not a Sexy Nerd who has taken Photoshop because learn to use the blur tool, my friend. 

Mmm, sexy Candy Corn. Makes your stomach hurt and gets stuck in your teeth. (Thanks, Amy N.)

Amanda H. sent me this sexy Pregnant Troll and I was like WTH I can't even with this anymore. Like, it broke my soul as a human being, so I hope you're happy Amanda. 

Beth sent over this Sexy Baby outfit because you know what really turns me on this holiday season? 

Pedophilia. 

Amber W. sent over this costume, which I think is supposed to be Miley Cyrus from "Wrecking Ball" but is instead just an excuse to wear a sports bra and underpants as a costume and I hate everyone and everything. 

Michelle S. sent over this "Galaxy Gremlin" which is obviously a non-licensed Yoda.

Ladies, if your husband's roleplaying fantasy is Yoda, RUN AWAY. 

Thanks for the sexy Sock Monkey, Jenna F. I was actually wondering when costume makers would hurry up and defile innocent childhood playthings.

Also, I feel like it's a testament to my true nature that the first thing I thought upon seeing this costume was "Wow, those shoes do not go." 

Alright, that's the lineup for this year. I know I have my favorites -- what do you think is the very skankiest of skankiness here? Vote until 11:59pm, tomorrow night and I'll announce the winner before I have to go dress my kids up. 

Thanks to everyone who entered. It affirms that I'm not the only one that feels like the sexification of this holiday is super gross and quite frankly, a little smelly. 

Also, still struggling for a last-minute costume idea? Try this hot mama outfits that really get your motor running (thanks, Bethany C.!)