Freaky Friday

 Happy Friday everyone! My kids are off  of school and have naturally been fighting for the last half hour. I went to a downright PUNISHING workout this morning and I don't have the energy to play referee. At this point, it's basically like natural selection, right?

I kid.

Kind of.

Also, thanks to everyone who has sent in submissions for the Trashy Halloween Contest thus far. I love love love having readers who are willing to do that and I've received some DOOZIES (and/or floozies heh heh heh) this year.

For now, let's just do a normal Freaky Friday, though.

Oh dear these pants. I feel like they want to be a classy animal print but instead wound up klassy and that one letter makes a big difference. 

Also. Dat 18 inch crotch.

 I don't usually do kids clothes because my children dress like hobos on the reg, but this dress scared me in a Margaret Atwood Handmaid's Tale kind of way. (Yeaaaaah literary humor)

 If you don't just instinctively know these pants and heels are wrong, we are probably not friends. 

 Ugh, have I ever talked about how much I hate shirts with like, paragraphs of self-statements on them? No one needs to know this about you. NO ONE. What, am I going to stand there for 45 seconds so I can get to know you based on your novelty long-sleeve T?

The fact that you're wearing one at all is enough for me.

Finally! A dress I can wear when Richard Gere rescues me from a life of selling my body on the streets!

 Took me a minute to realize what this slopjacket reminded me of:

(Man, a lot of movie references today!)

 I know this is supposed to make for a more flattering figure, but it really just makes me think of square ovaries and I'm sorry for that.

OKAY now I can go cry in shower because my shoulders hurt, don't mind me I just did like 6,499 chaturangas today and want to saw them off. My kids are still fighting. I think I'm just going to let them battle to the death, Gladiator-style. 

Byeeeeeeeee!