4 Things That Make You Look Fat

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Ooh, that's a harsh title, right? I KNOW. It's shock value. I'm so shocking.

But seriously, I want to take a minute to talk about a few habits that make you look chubbier than you really are. First, can we say that I really hate serious self-deprecation? Like, joking that you're a terrible cook is one thing. I'm a terrible cook. But whining that you look fat is another thing altogether. I feel like it's just asking for the sympathy vote and I don't like it.

You are the way you are. If you don't like it, change it. If you don't feel like changing it, learn to live with it.

But body types and weight aside, there are things I see women do ALL THE TIME that make them look fat. Seriously, a Victoria's Secret model would look paunchy if she broke some of these rules. Because size is really all relative, it's worth it to check if you're guilty of some of these sins. That way, you can look skinnier without hitting the gym (and I mean that. Yesterday was "personal best" day at the gym, where you're supposed to push yourself harder than before. I woke up to cement legs this morning. Ouch.)

1) Wearing Clothes that Don't Fit

Whether it's too big or too small, it makes you look fat. Clothes make a huge difference in the way your body looks, period. I am one of those people who is way heavier than she looks. Which is exactly the reason I haven't weighed myself in three years.

Is there anything worse than seeing someone stuff herself sausage-style into way-small clothes? Yes. Seeing someone shlub around in clothes that are way too big. They're equal offenders. That's why you should always try clothes on, tailor them if necessary and use stuff like belts or cardigans to help define your look. Who cares about the actual size? I'm concerned about the fit. You can look svelte at size 6 or 16 as long as your clothes actually fit your body.

2) Wearing the Wrong Pattern

OK, here's where it gets dicey. Patterns are awesome. But patterns can also make you look fat. Some serious zero in on your trouble areas, like HERE I AM. I have a shirt that I really love, but the pattern makes me look like I just ate Thanksgiving dinner. Not cool. Try on clothes and make sure the pattern detracts. That's why I love abstract patterns. Geometric and uniform patterns can make you look chubby when they don't lay completely right.

Also, look for patterns that are proportional to your body. If you carry some extra weight and you wear a teeny pattern, it looks like there's this vast amount of polka dots or whatever. Look for a mid-sized pattern instead and you'll look way slimmer.

3) Slouching

Yeah, your mom was right. Oh, this one really gets on my nerves. Probably because I'm inexplicably proud of my posture. It's like I went to one of those old timey schools where they made you walk with a book on your head -- but I didn't. I just know that slouching makes you look fat and paunchy. Seriously. How about you tuck your shoulders back and straighten up. Stop walking around like you want to be invisible. Standing up straight is like, a 1 second diet. You'll look skinnier and like you're actually happy to be alive. Win!

4) Crappy Accessories

You know I love me some accessories, right? They are the way to make an outfit look on-purpose. But they can also make you look fat if they emphasize the wrong areas of your body. Ask me why I never where those full finger rings. Go ahead, ask me!! It's because I have stubby child hands and they make me look like a weirdo. Cocktail rings are much better on me. Same goes with dicey accessories that are hard to pull off, like a choker. Instead, look for accessories that lengthen: a drop pair of earrings, a long scarf, some layered necklaces. They'll make the eye look up and down rather than side to side. Yay!

SO yeah, you can totally look slimmer without a huge Biggest Loser weight overhaul. I mean, that would be super cool, but most of us don't need to lose 200 lbs, just perk up a bit.

Fess up: Are you guilty of any of these?


jen bryner said...

ack!! i totally say "i'm so fat..." and then i feel miserable about myself! in my defense, i AM trying to do something about it. but you are 100% right...i need to stop doing that! it's lame! and so i shall. i also need to pay closer attention to how things fit. my husband may roll his eyes when i change my outfit but i CANNOT go out in something that makes me self conscious because i feel like it's too short or too tight.

http:/notimeforstyle.blogspot.com said...

Great tips! I completely agree - although I'm not fat ;) , I think every woman should follow them!


Brittney said...

You're so shocking! Hahaha I love that. I've definitely caught myself slouching. I try to remember to sit up straight but it's like my body just naturally wants to look paunchy. lol

Sarah T. said...

Agree on wearing clothes that don't fit. Anytime I see someone in a shirt that shows every roll or bulge, I cringe! I am definitely guilty of slouching though!

Emily said...

Love this! It is totally true. I am "between sizes" right now and it is not pretty :)


Jae said...

You know me, I'm such a shock jock. lol

Seriously, I'm at my desk all day and I have to remember to sit up. I have good posture otherwise tho... for the other five minutes of the day when I'm not on the computer!

Size, schmize, that's what I say!

Queen Mommy said...

I hear ya on the stubby child-like fingers....

Jenny said...

These are some great tips! I would love if you would add this to the Lovely Things Thursday linky party!
Modern Modest Beauty

Anonymous said...

You should also add wearing a good bra. It makes such a difference -especially on larger women who are top heavy!

Jae said...

Ooh, good one!!

Sara said...

Question regarding size... I have a few pairs of pants/shorts that fit absolutely perfect when I put them on, then as I walk around, they either stretch out a little or just resituate, and then they look too small until I yank them back up. So, what to do? I have lots of hips, but very little booty, so I'm thinking they just don't have anything holding them up. Even belts don't really help...

Jackie said...

I don't remember how I found your blog, but I'm really happy I did !! I absolutely LOVE it. And this particular entry hit the nail on the head ! As long as you keep posting, I'll keep reading :D

I'm new to the blog world, but check mine out if you have time ! :D

Jae said...

Sara, I have pants that do that and it's sooo annoying. I have mine tailored; I usually have to go a size up because I have a big butt and a little waist so they gap and sag. Seriously $15 to have a couple of darts put in them and I don't have to bother with the belt.

Caitlin Trani said...

Great article, perfect tips on how to avoid the lovely muffin top!


Maia Dobson said...

Thanks for your hot tips on how to look more thinner and how to reduce those extra fats. I've been tempted to have a liposuction with the plastic surgeons in Long Island but then your tips are worth trying.

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Unknown said...

I would say get a nice belt. I have the exact same problem.


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