5 Non-Trashy, Super Easy Costume Ideas

I think one of the reasons that women dress like straight-up strippers on Halloween is the fact that there's really not a lot of non-trashy options out there. Go to any Halloween costume site and click on "Women" and literally every option will involve boobs and fishnets.

Which have their place, just not at the school Halloween carnival, thanks.

So I went on the hunt for some of the funnest costume ideas that you know, don't degrade your entire gender group. I found some genius ideas just by searching "non-skanky Halloween," but here are some of my favorites.

Rita from Arrested Development

I would actually love to go as Lindsay, my favorite character from Arrested Development, but alas, this is her best-known look, which probably isn't appreciated while handing out candy.

But remember Rita? She was by far my favorite guest character arc on the show, and her clothes were THE BEST. If you'll remember, Michael dated Rita, thinking she was fun and spirited, when she actually had special needs.

Basically, you'll need:
-Your kid's tiara
-A mini backpack
-A loud, flowered shirt that doesn't match in any way shape or form
-Striped leggings
-A tutu

Basically, you'll look like an adult dressed in child clothes. If you really want to hit it home, hang a sign that says "For British Eyes Only" around your neck. I love an obscure costume that only fans will get.

A Real Housewife

This would be friggin brilliant, especially if your friends are Real Housewives lovers like me. 

 

Use the following:

-Cocktail dress

-A streaky fake tan (use something that washes off after one use)

-Huge hair and jewelry

Carry around an orange and a cocktail dress and slur your words and you are good to go. Getting into verbal fights and using common cliches improperly are bonuses. 

The SunDrop Girl

No shame in my game: This was my fave costume of all time, but mostly because it allowed be to booty dance to Drop it Like it's Hot, which is my second favorite song of all time. Plus it was super easy to throw together at the last minute.

-SunDrop shirt, which I got at WalMart.

-Jean shorts. Or "jorts" if you will.

-Black tights

-Leg warmers

-Red shoes

Here's the original commercial I used for this one. It was SO. FUN. 

Paper Bag Princess

I'm obsessed with this costume idea because it would be TOO adorable, especially if you were helping out in your kid's class for Halloween. I would just wear tights with it.

-Paper bag from grocery store (I think it would be easy to grab a few and tape them together)

-Card stock crown -- remember to turn down the edges! 

-Makeup -- to make it look like you're dirty. 

Just scuff up the paper and the crown a little and you are good to go. It would be also super fun to carry around a dragon, if you had one. Not a real one though. You're not Daenerys. Although that would also be a fun costume.

Fashion Blogger

Alison over at Wardrobe Oxygen nailed this look and it would be super simple to recreate. Just mix fabrics and add statement necklaces until you look like a total caricature of yourself. Boom. Blogger.

Just make sure to pose for a million "candid" pictures and never let that Starbucks cup leave your paws, ever. 

And remember, when in doubt, remember that it's NOT OKAY that guys get to dress up and have fun and women are supposed to suck in their stomachs and look like sexpots for what should actually be a holiday for children.

 If your husband suggests a sexy costume, suggest that you turn the tables.