Freaky Friday

Friday, October 24, 2014

So yesterday I ran out of dry shampoo, which is NOT ALLOWED because it's basically my number one staple of life after you know, water and bad reality TV. So I put my son in the car to drive down to the drugstore. Which I totally thought was Rite-Aid and then I saw the bag and I was like "I went to Walgreens today?" and was very confused.

So I grabbed my dry shampoo and maybe a nail polish and went to check out. Now, you should know that I am a sucker when it comes to signing up for cards and memberships and stuff at the cashier because I just can't say no. My husband makes fun of me because I will always just go along with giving my email, phone number and blood type to the person working at like, Bath and Body Works. I'm just a really passive person that way. I was thinking to think of a term for it... like non-shy introvert or something? I just want to agree with anything and get of there.

But yesterday, I was in a mood. I had promised myself a Diet Coke + Vanilla + Cream (ughhhhh so good) and I wanted to get out of Rite-Aid/Walgreens fast. So, when the lady asked if I wanted to join their "Exchange Your Soul for Shampoo Points" card, I actually grew a pair and said something.

Lady: Want to join our super special secret society?
Me: UGH No, I'm good.
Lady: It'll save you money!
Me: I'm actually really busy today (complete and utter lie) so, no.
Lady: It would actually save you $2 on this dry shampoo, though.
Me, in a snarky voice: I'M OKAY.
Lady: ...... well, you have a bug in your hair.

And I did. I totally had a huge bug in my hair while I was giving the drugstore cashier attitude. And then I felt like, super stupid. Because as much as I would have liked to hop on my high consumer horse and ridden away, I felt like I had lost like, moral ground or something for having a bug in my hair.

Especially because she helped me get it out.

Me: How long does it take to sign up?
Lady: Literally 30 seconds. Just enter your phone number here.
Me, entering phone number.
Lady: Oh, it looks like you already have a card with us!

So, shoot me in the face please. I then forgot to swipe my card and just stood there blankly when she gave me my total. Later, I ran out of the store saying things to Andrew like "Hurry up, buddy, we're late!" Because, you see, I had to perpetuate the lie that we were busy even though we were on our way to get Diet Coke.

And THAT is why we don't run out of dry shampoo, my friends. Because the line between having fresh, non-smelly hair and being humiliated by a drugstore cashier is awfully thin.

That was my Thursday. How was yours? Good? Good. Onto Freaky Friday.



I feel like people are really wanting jogger pants and heels to happen. It's not going to happen. If you want to wear lazy pants, own it and wear them with flip flops like EVERYONE ELSE. 

 Novelty jewelry is already for sale. And I already want to vomit. 

My husband has this insane aunt that we see once a year and she's the queen of novelty Christmas clothes. And every year, she gives my mother-in-law (her sister) a Christmas vest, and every year, I end up Googling the brand so my MIL can return it. 

 Oh, these shorts are bad. Like, I give up forever bad. 

Preach, Batty.


 Oh, this? This is my casual Disney evil queen dress. I wear it to church on Mother's Day. 

I don't know why, but this dress reminds me of that Paula Abdul video where her costar was an animated cat and they were like, involved somehow?

OMG, Cruella Deville made a tunic out of dalmatians AND girl scouts. 


For when it's cold enough to wear a sweater, but you also want to remind people you're the kind of girl who dates MUCH older men. 

 Awkward keyhole placement FTW!!! 


Oh, I'm just hanging out in my diaper shorts looking like a fancy watermelon AS YOU DO. 


My kids are off school AGAIN today, and I can hear them rustling in the Count Chocula and that's my cereal. Mom stuff: Does it ever end?

6 comments:

jbowman said...

Best story ever. I realize that you felt humiliated and just shared it with a random girl in Idaho, but seriously, you just made my day. I can now go and be ridiculously large and pregnant for another day and feel pretty good despite it. so funny.
and yeah- track pants with heels? Sorry fashion bloggers, it just doesn't work for me.

Bonnie said...

I am never going to let you live that store experience down! Thanks for sharing!! Love your Mom!!!

Jennifer Wells said...

I never want to sign up for stuff and yet I never have the nerve to say "No." Because I don't want to be jerky to the cashier.

Unknown said...

LOL... I totally get right aid, cvs and walgreens confused... they are all like 1 block from each other here!

No Thanks... that is my standard answer... even when it isn't a question...

Cashier: You can save $.
Me: No thanks.

Cashier: Your phone # is...
Me: No thanks.

I don't even smile anymore! I take my mile long receipt and get me hence!

Carolyn
http://www.ccmcafeeperspective.com

kristen said...

I love Freaky Friday. But you should never go to church on Mother's Day because it is impossible for the sermon to not totally piss you off.

Jae said...

TRUTH.

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