Cleaning Out My Closet

Probably one of the funnest facts about me is that I love rap music. Like, really Jae? I want you to imagine me now, driving back from dropping off carpool in my large SUV in my sleepy 2,000 person town. Now imagine I’m blasting Eminem from the stereo and bobbing my head like I’m in a hip hop video. I might throw up a gang sign or two. Yeah, I would say I’m pretty much the most intimidating 5’4” suburban mom EVER. Why am I even telling you this? Because this post is clearly devoted to cleaning out your closet a la Eminem, to the tune of writing a violent rap song in which you pretend like you’re going to kill your mother.

I’m totally kidding. Not only is that silly, but it has nothing to do with fashion. If you want to kill your mother with a shovel you can do it on your own time, thanks.

While Eminem did write “Cleanin’ Out My Closet,” he probably didn’t mean getting rid of ugly clothes. At least I think he didn’t. I only took one class in song interpretation so I could be wrong.

One of the biggest challenges with trying to dress well with kids is that sometimes, you just don't feel like you have the time to put yourself together and get out the door. You're running off to carpool while listening to gangsta rap, hurrying out to work or trying to squeeze in a trip to the gym and the way you look just happens to take a backseat for the day. So you end up heading out in your trusty tee and jeans combo, with barely enough time to slip on your flip flops as you run out to the car.

Well, at least half of the problem is probably found deep within your closet. We all have the exact same issues, no matter how our closets are organized: the clothes you wear all the time are easy to find near the middle, the clothes that don't fit yet you hang onto like a crazy person are stuffed in the back and there's probably a few pieces that you forgot about too. Like me and my red skirt. Because of this, you probably grab whatever you see first to get dressed in a hurry. Which may or may not be frumpy and disappointing.

Can I let you in on a mind-blowing fashion secret?

If you don't have crappy clothes in your closet.... (wait for it) ..... you don't wear crappy clothes.

I KNOW, RIGHT!?

That's why I urge everyone to clean out their closets at least twice a year. I tend to do a big cleaning in both fall and spring. It's when I assess the season's clothes with the upcoming weather change and decide whether or not I want to hold onto them for another year. Seeing as I just got rid of a massive bag of clothes, plenty of stuff didn't make the cut. That sweater with the hole in the armpit? That jacket that didn't button? The hat that was a really bad idea? All gone. Because I got rid of so much stuff, I was able to rescue some lesser-worn pieces from the back of my closet to put them back into rotation again. Hello, friends! I'm sorry I have forsaken you.

Don't know where to start? Here's some tips! Hows about you get rid of/donate/trash/give to a cross-dresser:

-Anything that doesn't fit. Um, yeah. Doi. Yes, I know you want to lose ten pounds, but that doesn't mean the jeans you wore in high school are in style. Let it go.

-Anything that you don't feel confident or attractive in. Don't know if you like it? Put it on and snap a digiphoto. You'll find out real fast which clothes are keepers and which are kickers. Ask your husband too. You'll be surprised at how vocal he is about your favorite sweater. Every so often my husband dispenses helpful fashion advice, like "You should wear more pink." I own exactly one pink shirt. Time to go shopping.

-Any comfort items that you're keeping just because they're easy to throw on or it looked good once upon a time/10 lbs ago/when you were in 8th grade. Seriously, if the only reason you own a piece of clothing is “because it’s comfortable,” toss it. Comfort isn’t the only reason to get dressed in the morning, people. Get rid of your 9am safety net and MAKE yourself try something new.

-Anything barfed on, peed on, pooped on, stained with food or otherwise destroyed. It's gross. Only a true mother would understand why this is a common issue.

"But Jae!" you say. "If I tossed a bunch of my clothes I wouldn't have anything to wear." Correction: You won't have anything crappy, misshapen, stained or sloppy to wear. When you pare down your closet to well-fitting, well-made basics, you'll actually have more to work with. You'll be able to clearly see what you have and how it works with other pieces, instead of just blindly reaching into your closet every morning.

Here was my weekend's work:

Shoes are organized by color and texture, with both the front and the back showing so I can choose them according to the way they look AND heel height. Plus it just makes me happy to have prettiness in my closet.


Tops are arranged by sleeve length, then dresses, pants and jackets. Makes it super easy to find what I'm looking for and it only takes a few minutes extra when folding clothes to divide them up properly.

Also, the top of my closet is for workout clothes and the Nerf gun I confiscated from my son. WHO buys a two-year-old a Nerf gun? My husband, that's who.

Anyway, with an organized closet it probably takes me LESS time to grab something that looks put-together than it would for me to dig out some yoga pants and an oversized tee, so it pretty much forces me into looking like a normal human being. Drat.

Although I am looking for ideas for hanging handbags and scarves, if you have any... right now they're stored in a laundry room cupboard and fall on my head when I try to get at them.

Seriously though. Two hours on a Saturday. That's all it takes to separate the wheat from the chaff and start dressing just a little bit better. Plus you get to have that Sex in the City moment every time you open up a clean, organized closet. Half of the time I expect birds to fly out and soft music to start playing when I try to pick out some shoes. It's THAT satisfying.

And just so you know, I did NOT give away these shoes. They've become my closet mascot. One day, when Minnie Mouse clodhoppers come back in style I WILL BE READY.

From My Closet: I Heart Snakeskin

I first typed the title as "I heart Snackskin" and I feel like that would be a different post entirely. I am the queen of typos.

But yes, snakeskin (OMG I almost did it again.) I was cleaning out my closet the other day and realized that I go a little overboard with it. It's by far may favorite pattern because it's less ostentatious and boozy cougar than leopard print and less weird than zebra, but still wearable and little daring. I almost bought a snakeskin LBD the other day and talked myself out of it, but now I regret it. Sadness.

Anyway, if you want something to modernize your current wardrobe, snakeskin accessories are so easy peasy to wear. I carry a snakeskin bowler right now for my handbag, and it's awesome. Especially when I don't particularly feel like putting together an outfit. Jeans + black tee + snakeskin = instant outfit. It's like cheating.

The only thing that ask when you try snakeskin is to leave it alone. My biggest gripe about having a snakeskin handbag is that I always have to swap bags when wearing snakeskin shoes (Look, I KNOW there are bigger problems in the world, ok? But it's still annoying.) But I'll do it anyway so it doesn't get all jungle matchy matchy. Maaaaaaybe you could pair it with another SMALL animal-print accessory. I wouldn't be mad about a leopard belt or a zebra cuff. But no other snakeskin, and you are not Jack Hannah, so let's go easy on the jungle business, k?

It's also important to note that the colors in typical python print allow you to treat it like a neutral, so it's totally fine to pair it with color. I especially love snake with jewel tones like turquoise and plum.

Look how pretty it looks with my favorite red chair. Here are a few of my fave accessories.


I totally worship this pair of Chinese Laundry t-strap wedges. They are super girly but the print makes them less sweet. I got them at a screaming sale too, so extra awesome. I tend to wear them with a-line skirts and dresses.



These Isaac Mizrahi flats were another awesome purchase. My fave thing about them? They actually feel like snakeskin. A little soft with a little shine on the scales? Amazing detail. You can kind of see in the close up. Whenever I wear them I sit around stroking them like a pervert.


Ah! My dear Soda python wedges. They are the newest to the bunch, and I love to wear them with bermuda shorts so they look less boxy. Plus the wedges makes my ankles look positively tiny and my legs look 90 miles long. And they are so summery and make me happy.


Does this pile of texture make you just say "Squee?" Because I just did. OMG.


Yup, it's a good bunch. The bag is by Hurley, of all companies. I looked high and low for a python bag without any weird bells and whistles because the snake is PLENTY for interests sake. So apparently a skater company was the only on to understand my plight.

So, be my friend and try something in snake. I swear it will make you look more modern without making you look like you prey on young boys (Speaking of which, I saw Charlie St. Cloud on Monday and I prey on Zac Efron, so maybe I should be wearing more leopard.)

From My Closet: Steve Madden Scuba Jacket

I haven't done a "From My Closet" in a while, which is sad because I have bought some awesome stuff lately. I *might* have broken my shopping diet because the Gap was having a sale on kids jeans. But I swear, that and a teensy trip to Sephora were all that I did this weekend.

I have no will power.

Anyhow, I had my entire family come down for Christmas this year. It was crazy! And my house was very, very, full. But heading to the mall as one, big happy family two days before Christmas to buy EVERYTHING was epic and will be my new favorite Christmas tradition.

While at the mall, I got to introduce my mom to the wonders of Nordstrom. Obviously it's my favorite place to shop and I always find really awesome stuff there. And while there's a lot of pricey items, you can get really good sales too (Aaaaactually their semi-annual sale starts Wednesday HOW DO I KNOW THESE THINGS?) I guess my mom took the hint from my revered silence when we walked in the door, because she gave me a Nordy's gift card for Christmas.

That's why I love her.

I went like, three days later and found my favorite jacket EVER. I bought her immediately and took her home and have been wearing her obsessively since then. It's super soft, is very streamlined thanks to some awseome stitching and piping, and just generally looks non-mommy:


Steve Madden Scuba Jacket found here. I bought it in December for $68, but OF COURSE now it's on sale40 percent off because the fashion gods hate me. But I DID enjoy a whole winter of chicness.


It should be known that I am fairly obsessed with leather jackets, especially those that have biker inspired collars like this scuba one. I own four. Super unnecessary, but I have two black, one red, and then this bad boy. This one gets worn more than the rest combined because it looks good with my Fryyyyyyyes! And everything is measured against whether or not it matches my boots. Sadly, I'm not joking. I also feel like leather jackets can be done oh-so-badly. Like big, pointy collars, boxy shapes, etc. When I find a well-cut jacket, I MUST HAVE IT.


Oh haiii me, looking attractive in my jacket. PS is it me or does it totally look like I have a model-fan blowing on me in this picture. I promise I'm not, although I feel like it's a good idea for next time. This picture was taken so I could e-mail my mom to show her what I'd spent her hard-earned money on.

Anyway, I am cleaning out my closet for reals today because I promised my husband I would do something about the basket of clothes that seems to be barfing into my room on a regular basis, so depending what I find, you might get a few more episodes of "From My Closet." I can feel your excitement.

From My Closet, Featuring.... my closet!

I haven't done a "From My Closet" in so long, and this weekend my hubby worked on a project for me AND MY SHOES that I want you to see.

Can we take a moment to talk about the importance of a well-organized closet? When building our house, my husband and I opted for seperate, smaller closets than one large walk-in. This is because I am insane about my closet organization. When we shared in our teeny apartment I was constantly nagging the poor guy to separate my blazers from my trench coats and he finally just gave up.

I organize my closet because I dress very methodically. I like to know where anything is at any given time. I organize my shirts according to sleeve length, so I can dress with the weather, and I rotate my clothes like some people rotate food storage, so I get maximum benefit of my entire wardrobe?

Sound crazy? That's because it totally is.

BUT! You know how everyone has been throwing around that awful word "recessionista" around, and telling everyone to "shop their closets"? That's how I don't get in a rut with my clothes, wearing the same thing all of the time. When it's washed from being worn, it goes to the back of the closet so other pieces can come out.

Unfortunately, my shoes did not get the same treatment as my clothes. My current tally is 79 pairs, and they were spread out through my closet, in the guest room closet, and down in the mudroom, where we have benches and lockers. I had been BEGGING my husband to build my a shoe organizer in my closet so that I could have a Carrie Bradshaw moment when I threw my closet open and saw all of my lovely friends waiting there for me... organized by color, of course.

Well, this weekend he finally relented, and I cleaned out my closet floor to make way for the new shelves. OMG, it was so embarrassing. Not only did I get to see shoe relics from my past? Remember these? But we were literally knee deep in shoes while trying to install the shelves.

It was worth it though. My shoes are now organized, and they just look so darn pretty when you open the doors.



Why, hello lovers!


Shooooooes.


These are my latest additions; turquoise patent tie dyed Steve Maddens. I die.


Sooo hot, want to touch the hiney.

Anyway, feel free to tell me how awesome the new closet looks, so I can pass it on to my husband so he can feel warm and fuzzy, as currently he feels annoyed that he had to build a shoe closet for me and my obsessions.

AND THEN! Go organize your closet. While we were in there I loaded up TWO garbage bags full of clothes I no longer wear, and even three pairs of shoes that I could bear to part with to bring to our local charity thrift store. It feels so good. Get rid of your crappy stuff, and make way for something even better!

Oh....MY...Gosh...From My Closet.

So I know it's easily been three weeks since I posted, but I promise I have an excuse. You can check out my personal blog to check out the hairy details. Turns out that I am pregnant with a rare set of twins that require constant medical supervision and so my life as turned into one long doctor's appointment. So other than updating their status, blogging has had to take a backseat. But I thought I'd nip in to see if anyone was still out there, and introduce you to a very special From My Closet.

Yes, there was a time when I wasn't so very fashionable. Before I figured out alot of stuff, like how to walk the fine line between dumpiness and showing too much skin. A time when I owned, like actually OWNED and WORE these shoes:

OMG, to see them in pictures hurts my eyes a little. LOOK AT THAT HEEL! LOOK AT IT!!!!

Can I say in my defense:

1) I thought these shoes were AWESOME when I had them.

2) Even thought I literally would not be caught dead in them now, I can't bring myself to throw them out OR give them away.

3) I keep them only to serve myself the reminder that anything in excess is not good.

See? We all have fashion missteps. The point is to take it, laugh at it, and move on to bigger and better things. There was a point when I wore these shoes because I thought they made my ankles look tiny and dainty. I just didn't realize that they looked like a crazy Japanese cartoon character's shoes.

And look, proof of me actually wearing them.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry. That's my friend Jarom struggling under the combined weight of me and my thirty pound shoes. When I dug them out of the back of my closet (and tried them on and laughed hysterically while my daughter looked on,) and tossed them onto the floor, the thud shook the room.

So there you have it. Not fashion perfect, just fashion seasoned. Your friendly neighborhood Jae.

From My Closet

I thought you'd like to see some of the cooler pieces from my closet that I love. My closet is great, my husband had the sense to build us separate closets, which is more of a benefit to him because I am messy and he is painfully clean.

As I've said before, I have a pretty extensive shoe collection. And I do consider it a collection, because I search for and add to my collection like it's my hobby. Usually I buy an outfit and then in my head picture the perfect shoes to go with it, and then search high and low for them.

I really have a love for '40's inspired fashion. I like the really feminine silhouettes and just general softness to it. They weren't afraid to show off their shapes back then, so I find that '40's inspired stuff usually is very real-person friendly.

These shoes have a great back story. My husband has this great boss, John. I adore him. He works for a fairly small company, maybe ten or so employees, and his boss loves being *that* boss. The really awesome one to work for. Anyhow, every Christmas he throws a lavish party, and he is always trying to top his last one. Last Christmas we had dinner at a very swanky restaurant, and he handed out the annual Christmas bonuses, and we were ready to head home. But John convinced us to meet him at the mall for ice cream, which I thought was odd because we were all dressed up. So we met him over there, and he handed us all, employees and spouses, an envelope and told us that he knew we spent all Christmas season worrying about gifts for everyone else, so he was handing us envelopes with money on it. The catch was that we had to spend it on ourselves, and we only had an hour. We were to meet back for ice cream sundaes and to show off our self-presents. I nearly passed out from sheer joy, because someone was ordering me to shop for myself. He'd put a generous amount of money in the envelopes, and off we went. These shoes were the first thing I bought with the money, I snatched them up so fast.






Aren't they pretty in the sunrise? lol. Sorry, my house is made up entirely of windows. ANYHOW. They are a red and grey plaid, with a platform and 4" heel. I love the vintage round top. Don't get me wrong, I love a pointy toe too, but there is something so pretty and flattering about a round toe pump. There is a removable ankle strap. Now ankle straps are tricky! Do not try them if you don't really love your calves, because it's going to emphasize them. I love the '40s silhouette they give though, so I usually wear them. I like to pair them with a really slim pencil skirt and a 3/4 length sleeved red sweater I got for like $12 last time I was in New York.

Anytime I wear them, I totally thank my lucky stars for John and hope to all that is holy that he wants to do this again this Christmas. Because I have my eye on some red snakeskin Michael Kors pumps...