Freaky Friday: Shoes

 I had a bunch of readers send me the same link this week, which was all about the Scariest Shoes of All Time, which then inspired me to see what I could dig up along the lines of ugly shoes that should be killed with fire. Here are some of the gems I found:

 Can I just tell you how much I hate these pony shoes? WHY would someone want to look like they have hooves? And, if you're wondering what it's like to walk in them, check this out. Quick tip: If you need to practice walking with a motherfletching WALKER, your shoes are impractical.

 These shoes totally remind me of something Lady Gaga would wear to be ironic with a bodysuit. They also remind me of this, which I pinned a couple of days ago (Let's be Pinterest friends!)

 These were designed by Lacoste by an architect who clearly has no concern for leg hair. Just make sure to shave before these rip out your leg skin as you slide them on! In fact, just leave them on forever. It's not worth the wear and tear.

 Oh, I see! It's like "Hey Jae are you wearing garbage bags on your feet?" and then I'm like "LOL NO! There are ugly shoes underneath" and then we all have a good laugh.

 Because nothing says "Honeymoon" quite like skimpy bridal lingerie and Frankenstein shoes. He'll hear you daintily clomping from a mile away. I'm imagining the shaky water glass scene from Jurassic Park.

 

 Finally! This designer has realized what's missing on my favorite pumps: Sleeves!

 These legitimately look like something I would make. Not because I like them, but because they look like someone used scrap fabric and a glue gun to cover up an ugly shoe and then failed miserably. Let's just say that crafting isn't my forte.

Hey, I'm from the West. I can respect a cowboy boot. What I can't respect is a boot wrapped in belts. I'm reasonably sure they should go around your waist, but hey, I've been wrong before. 

 Besides the fact that these look so uncomfortable they would cause me to gnaw my own feet off, they also look like something from a horror film. Like, the creepy woman character's legs are on backwards and she is coming for youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

...ouuuuuuuu.

My feelings for this shoe could only be properly represented by the sounds of muffled sobs as I stuff my balled fist into my mouth.

  

A reader sent me a whole website of sports-related shoes. Like, for every team ever. The only woman who would wear these are the ones who pretend to like sports to get attention from men. I don't even care if you're a girl who likes sports. Just wear a hoodie and sneaks to the sports bar and eat too many wings like a normal person.

It always amazes me how ugly people can make shoes, especially when they're my favorite accessory ever. I just want to be like 'STOPIT!"

Speaking of shoes, I'm doing some shopping today. I know you're like Jae, didn't you go shopping last week. And the answer is that I did, but I had THE WORST case of "I have money to spend yet hate everything ever-itis." Instead, I spent money on Christmas plane tickets and with my bank account seriously depleted, I'm sure I'll find lots of stuff to buy this week. It's science.  Anyway, join the page over on Facebook because I might need some help deciding where to go bankrupt. 

Happy Friday guys!