Endowed: Dressing Your Knockers!

So I have had tons of comments regarding big boobs and how hard it is to find things to wear. I have never had this problem, as I stopped developing at about 12 years old. I remember I was in grade 8, and asked my mom for a bra for the sole reason that the boys liked to go around snapping the girl's bra straps (which by the way, now I am like wow, that was really pervy.) and I was afraid I'd be the only girl without a bra strap to snap. My mom bought me a padded one. However, now that I am pregnant I can pretend like I have big boobs. WOO!

Anyhow, I can understand your pain. Having a feature that throws off your whole wardrobe is rough. Later this week we'll look at some other problem areas as well. But today, boobs it is!

I think the biggest (HAH! pun VERY intended) problem with you Pamela Anderson-boobed girlies out there is that your chest is off in plus size territory, while the rest of you is not so anxious. So you end up wearing baggy stuff that conceals your super cute shape, just so you can have something FIT without looking like a stripper.

There are a few types of tops that are going to work for you.

First. DEFINE A WAIST. Blousy tops are not for you, oh big chested one. They will make you look big all over. Consider this one from Baby Phat. It uses a belt to define that waist, so you can say to the world "I PROMISE THERE IS A BODY UNDER HERE!"

Check out this top:

It's cute, but BAD for you. Its going to stick out about 3 feet off of your body and look awkward, just bringing more attention to the ta-tas, but not in an attractive way. More like "I wonder if she has to wear special back supporting undergarments" way.

Choose non-low cut scoop necks. They flatter everyone. And the empire waist? Great

if your tummy needs a little camouflage. I love something like this for just running errands or whatever. Its SO easy.

This pic is tiny, but if you're feeling exposed, add a little cami underneath. Not only will it make you a little more modest, but I'm not going to lie. I've totally used a tight tank top underneath a tight shirt to suck me in a little. Plus, puff sleeves? VERY good for big busts. It'll balance them out in proportion to your body. Go check out the nicer pic at Torrid (I HATE when I can't copy pics from a site. BOO)

A v-neck like this, though it seems counter intuitive, is a great way to keep the girls under wraps. Think about it. What happens when you wear a turtleneck? Your boobs look MASSIVE right? Because you have all that fabric covering them, you can see the full outline. So if you try a deeper v instead, its going to cut down on their size. This one is from Bluefly, and is adorable.

So then, take a deep v, (with a cami if you want) with an empire waist = pretty much pure perfection as far as you're concerned. (Nordstrom)

Now, wrap tops are going to be great if you can adjust the actual wrapping. Again, a deep v is great, and then wrap that top right at the smallest part of your waist, wherever that may be. For most big busted girls, it'll be the stop right under the bust. This one from Bluefly is great, because the tie is so wide.

Another really great one from Kristian Alfonso. Again, if your smallest point is a little higher, just yank that belt off and reposition.

Now for jackets. We did blazers last week, and someone asked why her jackets was all gappy and made her look even MORE busty. Ah, that would be the button placement, commonly known in the fashion world as the "stance". Basically, as a big busted girl, you cannot buy a jacket with a low stance. This is reserved for people like me, when I'm NOT wearing my padded bra. You need to choose a jacket with one or two buttons ( I would shy away fro 3 buttons though, it's just too much) and they should button right across the center of your bust. I am going to give you WAY too much info, and tell you that by center, I mean like, nipp-age. Got it? BEcause I'm not going to tell you again.

Check out the difference here:

These buttons are terrible for a big busted girl. This jacket is going gape and look totally weird because of the placement. Way too low.

This is just about perfect. Lock those girls down and leave the rest to imagination. If you are having trouble finding one that buttons up, buy a size up and have it tailored down. I know it sounds like a bother, but I do it with all of my pants (big butt, little waist, we'll address that later) and it takes a pair of ho-hum jeans to fitting like a GLOVE and being my favourite. Tailors do this all the time, and it'll be like $12. Totally worth it. Especially because this jacket is at Dr. Jays for 5.99, so yeah, its cute, you should buy it.

K, so hopefully you had a guide for next time you and your girls go shopping. Above all, flaunt it, and know that somewhere out there, I very jealous of you.