Cute Alternatives to UGLY Shoes

Sometimes I hear this statement.

"I only have two pairs of shoes."

This. Is. Appalling.

At last count I was at 64 pairs of shoes. You don't need to have that many, but for heaven's sakes, can there be a happy medium?

I have all those shoes because I am nearly OCD about making sure I have the perfect shoes for every outfit. And I really do. Not to mention anyone else's outfit for that matter. And I totally check out other people's shoes. And judge them. SO SUE ME.

And I am totally going to take down the three worst mom shoe offenders. I see them all the time and literally wince. IN PAIN. Why have ugly shoes when there are SO MANY CUTE ONES? For not a lot of cash too?

Here's my Public Enemies #1

The Loafer

Words cannot express my extreme hatred for the loafer. It is ugly. And people who wear mom jeans pair the loafer up with it just to annoy me, I'm sure. I understand why someone would wear. No, wait, scratch that. I understand why someone might possibly in some weird alternate universe wear this. It's comfy. Good for running errands. You can just slip it on. May I introduce the flat??

Also comfy! Also good for running errands! Also slip ons! Just much, much cuter. Pair them with your jeans that have a wider leg, or if you've taken my skinny jean advice, those two. I absolutely LIVE in my flats, even in the winter, when I am constantly stepping in snow pockets and cursing the world. But that's how much I love them.

Public Enemy #2

The White Ked.

I see these and immediately think FlyLady. Anyone who knows the FlyLady concept knows that it all revolves around white keds and it makes me shudder with disgust. ARE YOU A NURSE? If you answered no to that question, you should not own these. If you answered yes, Ked away, you wonderful lifesaver!

Here are my alternatives.

I am pretty biased because I own both of these and I love both. THe pink cortez is a classic in the sneaker world, and far cuter than the plain white Keds. Guaranteed it's more comfortable as well, and they look adorable with jeans. The Nike Clog is my most comfortable shoe I own. I wear it anytime I know I am going to be shopping for a very long time beacuse they never ever ever make my feet hurt. I also keep them close to the door to slip on and get the mail and the neighbours thing "OH! Look at those stylish non-Keds!"

Public Enemy #3: The Weird Mom Ankle Boot

EVERY MOM is guilty of this one. This is because in our moments of low self esteem and weakness we think "I need some of those fashionable boots the kids are wearing these days!" But we still want comfort, so we turn up these weird hybrids. I will totally admit, I have a pair from when I was like. 17 and trying to be grown up. They are still in my closet for reminder purposes. I hate them. I see women wearing them all the time. Boots should never ever be chunky. Ever.

My alternative. Replace the heel with something sleeker. You can do it! The toe should be pointy. I know pointy is scary, but I will tell you now, they are a heck of alot more comfortable than the round toe stoff we jam our feet into. Look at your toes. Go ahead! See how they more or less coome to a point at your big toe? Pointy toe -d shoes foster it and make it comfy. And for the love of pete, go knee high. They are 100x more versatile because you can wear them under jeans, over skinny jeans, with skirts. No more ankle boots for you!

Hopefully I have offended someone enough that they will retire their mom shoes and go shopping. Because if anything, my mission is to cause you to go into debt with extreme shopaholic sydrome.