Freaky Friday

 It's my son's kindergarten testing day and both my kids are still passed out in bed. One day we'll work out a predictable schedule, I just know it. For now, I'm waking them up 20 minutes before the bus gets here. Hey, it's about priorities: In my home, sleep trumps all.

He starts officially on Monday, so it'll kick off the first day of me being kid-less all morning. I don't even know what I'll do with myself. Probably rummage around for cereal and watch the Today Show when I should be doing something more productive.

But also blogging about bad clothes, because that's my true calling in life.

Val sent over this skirt, which has a viewing panel for the least flattering part of your body and the convenient addition of saddlebags. 

 Deborah sent me this "prom dress" (PROM DRESS) that looks like it was made from those chenille extra blankets every hotel room has in its closet. 

 I got this excellent diaper skirt from Brenda. This is what happens when you have kids, guys: Diapers scar you so deeply for life that they're all you can see. 

Don't even get me started on the Diaper Genie. Otherwise known as the "Swamp Tube" in our home.

Brenda also sent these, which definitely look like Fat Steps on "The Mindy Project."

I really, really miss "The Mindy Project." Summer TV sucks. Thanks for nothing, "Bachelor in Paradise."

B was on a roll, because she also sent me this loin cloth. I like that the person who pinned this gave suggestions to make it more attractive. How about killing it with fire, along with those awful sandals?

Pin that, suckers.  

 I feel like this could be a costume choice for "Game of Thrones." Maybe I'll just buy it and lord myself over people from the carpool line in my Tahoe at school. 

 It's like this scarf was a project your kid made and now you have to pretend like you love it. "Aw, sweetie! I love that you used so much glitter. Okay, mommy's just going to stuff this in the back of her closet where it will be safe forever." 

 Just when you think there's no possible way to mess up a plain button-up, you scroll your mouse past this. 

I love that this sweater is the world's worst shade of pink, but also that it has holes riiiiiiight about where your nipples would be. Granted, I would hope you'd be wearing a bra and never buy this sweater, so I guess it's OK. 

Oh geez, I am cutting things dangerously close time-wise over here. Showing up late to everything is an excellent way to set a precedent, right?