Fall Boot Eye Candy and the Time I Rolled My Eyes So Hard My Contact Fell Out

So the other day I was on a mission: find a new pair of boots. Do I already have a large collection of boots? Yes. But I was looking for a specific kind of boot -- a mid-length black boot with grungy details and a wide mouth. I've been wearing a lot of military-type outfits and my brown midi boots didn't always cut it.

Anyway, as a last-ditch effort I popped into the Payless in our teensy town and started browsing. Cue the always-intense Payless shoe salesgirl who popped over to tell me all about the fall sale. "It's a really big deal," she said. Great. I love a sale. She asked if I was looking for anything in particular and I lied and said no, but I'd let her know if I needed help.

She then proceeded to point out which shoes were "really fashionable this season." I wandered away and then proceeded to roll my eyes so hard that my contact bubbled and I had to poke it back in. That's a serious eye-roll, folks.

That got rid of her for about two seconds. She came back to show me a line of comfort 1" heels. Like, I don't know how to say this -- but I don't feel I look like the kind of girl who wears "comfort" shoes. But I nodded and make affirmative noises to make her feel good and she went to another aisle for a while.

While she was gone, I miraculously found the exact boot I'd been looking for and tried them on. They fit and I picked them up to check out. She came back. THIS time she wanted to show me a pair of leopard-print wedges. I'm guessing because I was wearing leopard flats? I was clearly standing there with a box with boots, but I then felt pressured to try on the wedges (they were horrendous).

Finally, another customer came in and I had five seconds to breathe. Of course, then I had to check out and explain to her that I ONLY wanted the boots and no I did not want to buy leopard wedges while she looked personally offended. It was awful. I left there feeling emotionally drained, all for these. On the bright side, they're exactly what I wanted -- mid-calf, wide top and a little slouch. On the down side, I'm terrified of ever going into that store again.

Anyway, to stop you from experiencing shoe salesperson guilt trips, I've rounded up some of my fave fall boots for you.

I'm all about comfort this year, so most are flat or have a small heel at best. Heeled boots have their place, but that is not at the pumpkin patch, amiright? I also like a little interest in the form of buckles and straps, along with a nice, wide top that you can stuff your jeans into.

I know heeled booties are also back for fall, but I'm just not a bootie kinda gal. I have a big butt and a sleek little bootie heel makes me look like a watermelon walking around on toothpicks. I don't begrudge others for wearing them, they just aren't for yours truly.

So check out my picks for mid and knee-length boots and may your shopping experience be much less eye-rolling than mine.

What kind of boot are you looking for this fall? Tell me so I can copy you and make my husband mad when I ask for more shoe storage yaaaay.

Rocket Dog boots / Rocket Dog wrap boots / Olsenboye ankle booties / Tan wedge shoes, $41 / Low-heel boots / Forever 21 ankle booties / Ankle booties

 

 Mossimo brown buckle boots / Charlotte Russe studded knee high boots / Buckle riding boots / Jessica Simpson high heel cowgirl boots / Not Rated boots / Double buckle boots / Forever 21 knee high platform boots