Annual Trashy Halloween Costume Contest 2013!

It;s still dark here, but I've been up for a while combing through submissions and bringing you the best ridiculously trashy Halloween costumes for this year.

For those of you new to the blog, each year, readers send in trashy costumes they find while perusing the web. I post them, we make fun of sad people who need to trick or treat with their ta-tas and we're all happy!  Except for the people who later on comment anonymously that I am a horrible person. But then we laugh at them and are happy again.

Then, we vote and the winner gets a Target gift card for being such an eagle-eyed and distinguished person. Shall we go ahead and get started? We shall!



Let's start with Rachelle's sexy skunk. Because nothing gets the old motor running like looking like you stink when you feel threatened. Can someone explain to me what is sexy about "Look out boys -- I might spray"?













Alison sent in sexy Marge here. Marge is sexy like, three times on The Simpsons and never was it in her green dress and heels. Also, the face doesn't work. She should be more cautions and annoyed than "come hither."

Also stop ruining cartoons.














"That's SEXY Rick Grimes from The Walking Dead TO YOU."

For future reference: Male character + skirt = Halloween character. Try it with other male characters, like Indiana Jones, Luke Skywalker and Peter Griffin from Family Guy. SO SEXY.

(Thanks, Sara!)














 Case in point: Sexy Ron Burgundy from Anchorman. Also, enjoy answering "Are you like, a hot Hermione?" from drunk guys all night long.

(From V.)





















Like, I don't want to sway your votes, but this one is my favorite -- from Heather.

It's a sexy honey badger.

As referenced by the poorly made hat, the obvious dress (do honey badgers wear dresses?) and the snake in the teeth.

Also, heels.... because sexy, duh!


















Heather also visits us from the land of subtlety, where she found this USB costume!

So the stick... goes into the port.... you guys are going to have to slow down, I missed 6th grade health.




















Jenna sent me a better picture of this costume, but I try to find manufacturer pictures instead to protect the poor people who think these are good ideas. So it was this, only without any body stockings. So yeah, now we're just going to parties naked.

"So what are you supposed to be?"

"You know, like a censor bar person?"

"So... you're sexy... sex?"



















"Excuse me, I was wondering if you knew where they were holding the party for destroying all innocence?"

(Thanks Lindsay!)



















So, at this point, do all sexy costume wearers just think ears have magical powers in making you look completely different?

Because this is the saddest Sexy Rainbow Dash costume ever. It's just a bikini top. And a skirt. And ears.

I... I just can't anymore.

Thanks for ruining my day, Jessica!

Sleeping Beauty makes me cry. Also, why is Tinkerbell the one with the most clothes on?

(Thanks, Meleah!)






And last but certainly not least is what will likely be the most overdone costume of all time. This website called it "Twerkin' Teddy." I call it "Too Early for me to Feel This Nauseous."

(Thanks Lindsay!)
















Alright, haters! Cast your votes amid the choruses of "You're just jealous!" Voting will end Nov. 1st at 12am and I'll announce who was the best trash-scouter of 2013 on Friday.

Happy Halloween!