Freaky Friday: Mathematics

Sarah and Co. sent me a Freaky Friday submission that just put me on a tangent. A tangent of "upcycling." You know, like instead of buying new clothes, you make something nicer with your old clothes. Now, I've seen upcycling done well. Not often, but it's happened.

Unfortunately, most upcycling results in marrying two different pieces of clothing into a Frankenstein. A Frankenstein of pants and sweaters. Here are some prime examples of what happens when you add two types of clothing together to create a creepy little monster baby.

 Here's the one that started it all! (Thanks Sarah!)

So, basically: Crocheting + Mountain Dew cans = a bucket hat that is cozy AND has really sharp edges and burns your scalp in the sun.

 Socks + arms = A really poorly thought-out purchase.

Sleeves. Look into 'em.

 The crotch of your favorite pants + that old sweater that you've had ever since you broke up with that guy and he never came and picked it up = ultimate Erkel jeans.

Dude never could pull his pants up to his throat.

 Perfectly good shoes + your kid's Lego set = finally a way to stop stepping on all of those motherfreakin' Legos around the house.

Also a good punishment that you can rub in your child's face repeatedly: "I TOLD you that if you didn't clean up I would hot glue your blocks to my shoes DIDN'T I?"

 The world's most depressing sweater + a stethoscope and/or fallopian tubes = probably a really interesting episode of "Grey's Anatomy."

 A really cheap chain + old keyboard keys = journalist pimp.

Your husband's tie + a pair of his slacks = Your fly is down but I can see a boob and now I'm questioning my sexuality.


How about in the future, we just stick to one type of clothing? Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to glue some of my son's Lightning McQueens to a leather jacket.