How to Put 0 Effort into a Halloween Costume
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Seriously, I dressed up for like, five minutes yesterday because I was crazy busy from the minute I got out of bed. I needed something that I could wear comfortably and look a little bit smug at the same time, which is where I decided to pretend to be a hipster.
OMG I am so ironic. Mustaches are ALWAYS funny.
"You bought something at a department store? Are those shoes even vegan!?"
I only thrift shop. Except for when I buy $90 shoes... they go to CHARITY.
Oh sorry I was just sitting here reading socially conscious African literature. Have you heard of this guy Kony?
"Ooh, sorry. I only eat organic lettuce."
Of course, you're not a hipster until you instagram the crap outta your pictures. Also, I'd like you to note the VCR player in the background. DVDs are so mainstream.
There you go... the laziest costume ever known to man. Also, I couldn't believe that I actually owned all of the hipster ingredients, I'd just never put them all together before. I wore my husband's glasses, which also made me go cross eyed.
Now that Halloween is over, at what point is it acceptable to listen to Christmas music? On cassette tapes, of course.
Labels:
what I wore
27 comments:
This is full of win.
Wow! I was a hipster too! I wore skinnies, Toms, my husband's corduroy blazer, and a fedora. I topped it off with too-large-for-my-face glasses. Forgot the mustache. Nice touch.
I am frightened by how good you look as a hipster.
Heather, great minds think alike.
Jessica, I think I actually want my next pair of glasses to be a bit bigger. Right now I have teensy silver frames and I was kinda digging the black. Not this big though... lol. They are definitely meant for my hubby's noggin.
Oh Jae. I heart you.
i listen to Christmas music the second I can find it on the radio...I just don't admit it out loud until mid november.
My halloween costume was my jammies (that's how much I hate this non-holiday!). I stayed home and cleaned up the dinner whilst the hubs took all the kids trick or treating. I even put a bowl of candy on a chair outside our front door so I wouldn't have go out there and actually hand the candy out. Now THAT'S 0 effort LOL!!!!
I heart this so much.
I've been so caught up in kiddos costuming that I have not been particularly lovely looking myself lately (please dont' shoot me!). So I spent ALL morning yesterday making myself up as A Woman Who Gives a Crap. I took a shower (wow!), shaved my legs (for the SECOND time this month. So proud.)fully blow dried my hair (which took an HOUR), and applied full makeup. I even put on earrings and a pair of shoes that required me to bend over to put them on! Then I went and stood outside during the elementary school costume parade and performance of "Thriller" by the upper grades (my 10 yo Dalek daughter was front and center. As a mother, I have arrived.) It was nearly 80 outside which threw me for a loop, so I just sweated off most of the makeup. Then we went to hubs' office complex for some candy-grubbing. I was worn out by then and did the job with my handy cane. Not so sveldt.
I do have the trick or treating process down to a fine art, though. I shoved my comfy recliner from the living room out onto the porch. Then I plugged in my laptop and heated blanket and supplied myself with ice water, popcorn, trick or treating candy, and turned on a little Phantom of the Opera. Most comfy t/t EVER.
does anyone else use K9? When I tried to check this blog today (I check it at min. 4 times a week) It came up as the P word and I had to enter a password to access it?!!???!!! Seriously? Dumbest thing I have ever heard. or just my K9?
Ummm it could have something to do with the costume posts... they're pretty questionable! lol!
It's interesting that people always hate on hipsters, and make fun of their music and clothing choices. But as the years go by their aesthetics trickle down into the mainstream so that things like cardigans, skinny jeans, Hipster Scarves/Keffiyeh, plaid ensembles, etc. all become parts of the everyday person's outfit. In reality, it's hipster gear from 2007, worn by those who hate hipsters in 2012.
And the same can be said with music. The "indie" style is becoming a lot more popular with artists such as Lana Del Rey, .Fun, Gotye all having huge mainstream hits.
Everyone always hates on the hipster, but secretly wants to be one. It's not a hate of disgust, its a feeling of insecurity.
Ding ding ding! I can't believe it took a whole 14 days to get the "You're just jealous post" in! It's my favorite type of post, so I've been anxiously waiting.
Bravo, reader. Bravo.
Okay, I guess you took out the one thing from my comment that you wanted to hear. What would you have responded if I didn't include the last line about people being insecure about hipsters?
(I was not even trying to have that conversation but now that it was brought up, I get that hearing that someone else did something first or likes "cooler" things than you or whatever is really annoying. But is it annoying because it's a bad topic or because it's hitting us where it hurts - in our own pride? That's what I meant about the insecurity part of the hate. And I wasn't trying to say you were jealous, just mentioning that it seems like the majority of hate for hipsters is rooted in insecurity.)
Hipsters are just the unpopular kids all grown up.
Siiigh I have so much work to do but this is my blog and I get to do whatever I want. So I made this:
Reasons I Don't "Secretly" Want to be a Hipster.
1. I literally like anything trendy and mainstream. It's essentially my goal in life. Britney Spears' music? Yes. Bad reality TV? Everyday. Being grossed out by bubble tea? You'd better believe it.
2. I'm crappy at recycling.
3. Thrift stores make me uncomfortable. To be fair, I tried it once.
4. I don't have bangs.
5. I wear contacts. Or contact, as it were.
6. I make it a point to eat animals and rarely, if ever, take pictures of them before consuming.
7. I don't troll websites anonymously with deep social observations on what was hip in 2007.
8. I lack a Mac (ha! see what I did there?) Although I do have an iPhone. But no instagram -- phew, saved!
9. I don't "get" Occupy Wall Street and I suck at activism.
10. I tend to think the Scots did plaid first. It's like, sooo 16th century.
11 (bonus!) I don't believe in "personas" or "identities." If you have one and it can be used as a Halloween costume, it's your own fault. I mean, I guess someone could theoretically dress up as "Jae" for Halloween, but then you'd just win at life and everyone would love you and you'd want to be Jae everyday and I just don't know how I feel about that.
Setting aside all the stereotypes and generalizations of hipsters, and also ignoring the fact that millions of people around the world who aren't hipsters recycle, shop at thrift stores, wear glasses, have bangs, are activists, have instragram, and own Macs, and also ignoring how you just said that anything that mainstream culture tells you to do, you'll do it, I guess I really only have one main point to say.
It's more than fine if you don't believe in personas or identities (if that is the case, does that mean you think that all humans share the same identity and are the same individual?). However, if someone has one, and you trivialize it in a costume, it is not their fault. I'm not trying to say that hipsters are victims to people dressing up as them, but they are certainly not to blame. Just because someone wears it in real life, doesn't make it their fault that you decide on Halloween to make fun of them for doing so. And yes, I know that a lot hipsters are privileged white kids, but you can't have a double standard for stereotypes.
There is a huge difference between liking mainstream culture and letting the mainstream make your decisions for you.
And to the person who said that hipsters are unpopular kids all grown up, thanks for bringing awful high school dynamics to the real world. What does it matter if someone is popular or not? I guess you think you are one of the popular kids. Your thought process is obviously limited, if you're still looking down at the "unpopular" people, imagining that you're better than them. However, in some ways I agree that hipsters probably weren't the popular kids in their school, they obviously think there's more than the surface, I just resent the belittlement in the comment.
Oh for the LOVE.
I just really want to know now if you think you have an identity or not.
Actually, never mind. I was just nitpicking that one statement, but I know there's no way you don't think you have one.
Someone is far to into their own opinion of others' opinions of them. Thanks for the lulz anonymous! Those faux intellectual insights were great
Billy T,
A conversation is not faux-intellectual just because you don't agree or can't understand it.
I am not wrapped up in other people's opinions of myself, because I am not a hipster, so maybe I am wrapped up in other people's opinions of hipsters but it goes beyond that. If this was about dressing up as any other group or race, the points still are valid. I'm just pointing out some things, and if you don't agree, that is fine, but no one who disagreed has yet replied in any manner that I can take seriously. Sarcasm and patronizing isn not a conversation.
I apologize for coming in and not commenting about my husband and my kids and what I did for Halloween. That was out of line for me to try and discuss something in the comments section of a blog on the internet.
Sarcasm and patronizing isn't a conversation?
Well I give up at life then. That's the only way I know how to talk. Le sigh.
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