Freaky Friday

Friday, November 30, 2012

 Happy Friday guys! I'm in a weird mood today. Like, I need to go shopping for my entire family today for Fake Christmas next week and instead I'm looking at bad fashion online and listening to my kid watching "Sofia the First" because Tim Gunn is one of the voices. TIM GUNN. I love it. So yes. Freaky Friday, then more gloating over Tim Gunn, then shopping. I heart the weekend.



 These boots were listed as "Ugly, yet beautiful." No, no. They're just ugly. They look like a pot smoker's poncho, which I can only assume are experiencing a resurgence in Colorado.

 Hey, I want to be comfy in the fall too. But I also don't want to look like I'm wearing a wookie. It's a fine line, people. A fine line. 

 Yay! It's your new go-to cocktail dress. For a party with the Cirque Du Soleil. And everyone's dropping acid. 

Oh, JUMPSUITS. Let's see what Bearded '70s Gigalo has to say about this:

 ...Because one is enough... when it's YOU. 
...Fashion climax.
...Walking turn-on.
...She'll eat you alive in it.
...Treats your body. 

I'm dying.
...Dead
 
 Perfect for when you want long, droopy napkin in the front but a PARTY IN THE BACK. 

 You can totally hate me when I say I don't *get* Star Wars. In fact, I remember going to Episode 1 at like, midnight when I was 16 and I have no idea why. 
I also don't *get* hoodies that make you look like another person. Particularly when it has hair. I don't want my sweaters to already have their hair done, you know? 

 Add sheer miniskirts and glitter booties to other things I don't quiet understand. 

 My mom  -- the only person in the WORLD who still insists on sending everything to my 10 year old Hotmail account -- found these on Pinterest. MY MOM you guys. Even she knows that looking like a demented doll is weird. 

 Look like a demented panda instead! This reminds me of My Strange Addiction where the guy wanted to be a baby forever and had a hard time finding a woman who would change his diapers and feed him mush. YOU DON'T SAY?!


 Sara and Eileen sent over this laptop privacy sweater. Because, you know, NOT surfing dirty pictures in public is so hard.

And I saved the best for last. Dawn sent me this with a note that Yoko Ono is designing clothes now. I'm wondering when the whole mysterious Asian thing is going to wear off. Like, one day she just wakes up and is like wow, I just want to wear yoga pants and look at cat memes and eat Kraft Dinner today. And then people can stop acting like she's provocative and not just a crazy old coot.


I keep scrolling back up to look at Bearded '70s Gigalo and laughing hysterically. Dude is a smooth operator for sure. Print him off and stick him to your fridge for constant entertainment. You're welcome in advance. 


Alright, I'm off to gift shop. I love to gift shop. It gives me the warm fuzzies. Much like Bearded '70s Gigalo in his sassy white playsuit. Meow!

14 comments:

Unknown said...

Picture printed and pasted, when my husband gets home he too will fall in love!

Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jae said...

Hahaha he's a lucky man!

Michael Rinaldi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Yoko Ono is brilliant and will probably never change. No one is acting like she is provocative, she IS provocative. She provoked you to post and write about her didn't she?

Like you said, there is similarities between being crazy and being an artist and it all depends on what you're doing with your life. She's living it, producing it, doing it. Not sitting around eating Kraft dinner and watching cat videos.

Jae said...

Oh, Anon, you literal thing! Yes, I was SO hoping that Yoko Ono would read my blog and do some soul-searching and wear yoga pants, but alas, I don't think that will really happen. So you can rest assured that the fact that I think she's crazypants and the worst designer ever will have no effect on anything.

It's OK. Deep breaths. She's safe now.

Anonymous said...

Yoko Ono may just write a haiku about this experience.

Thank you, Anon, she has learned so much.

--Nora

Anonymous said...

I was originally going to reply with as much sarcasm and smugness as was seen in these two comments, but I figured, "Hey Anon, that's not the way to have a real conversation, you don't need to belittle anyone to get your thoughts across, just say what you mean."

So I'm just going to say: what's the problem with someone sharing their opinion - one that is pretty positive about someone and their amazing career? A differing opinion isn't a confrontation, it's just another point of view and it's taken me a long time to write this response because I don't even understand the point you guys were trying to make with your comments. They're passive-agressive and not really responding to what was said besides the fact that Yoko Ono is the subject matter. It's like you saw that there was an oppositional comment and resorted to the schoolyard to sort it out.

Perhaps no one should read into your posts literally, but when you use the words like "just a crazy old coot" and "then people can stop acting like she's provocative", I don't know how you could else you could interpret them.

Jae said...

Here's the thing, Anon. I think about 80 percent of communication is medium. And hanging out on a fashion blog for moms standing up for yoko Ono might not be the best place for your feelings. So no, your comments aren't going to get a straight answer because this isn't the right medium for you. Might I suggest a blog that actually centers around artsy groupies from the 70s?

Also you are absolutely correct in realizing that no one should take my posts literally. That's kind of the point of a humor-based blog.

Of course, having to explain that makes it a lot less funny.

Anonymous said...

You're very right. I know that this isn't the place perhaps for these discussions, but I also don't think that a 70s artsy groupie blog would have posts that suggest Yoko should become more normalized. Humour or not, it's still an opinion presented.

I respect your right to make fun of whomever you wish though on your blog.

Amanda said...

Okay, so hate me, but I think the Leia hoodie is funny. I would so pretend to buy one.
(and I've totally always thought Yoko seemed a bit weird)

Jae said...

OK, I won't hate you for buying it AS LONG as you wear it to pick up kids in the carpool lane at school. Because I think that would be hilarious.

Erin said...


Thanks, I needed to laugh today!

And, um, Yoko Ono IS a crazy lady, and pretty much always has been (or maybe she's crazy smart, for continuing to get attention and $ for doing crazy things).
And it isn't that I don't understand art (actually, I'm an artist with a Master's in fine art).
But hey, anybody who thinks she's a brilliant individualist is entitled to their own opinion! :D

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