Freaky Friday: Etsy Fails

OK, so before I start getting emails about how I'm not supporting starving artists and ruining the world (which has TOTALLY happened before) I will say that there is tons of stuff on Etsy that I love. Since I'm not a "maker" of anything but children and blog posts, I respect artisans who can craft their way to the top. Total aside, but have you ever tried watching Craft Wars on TLC? OMG Tori Spelling makes me want to glue my eyes and ears shut with my mini glue gun. Jewelry, hair accessories and other stuff on Etsy makes me squee. I even love some of the fashion.

This dress needs to get on my body like, now.

But so much of what you find there is so so so so bad. So bad. Cue the hate mail, y'all!



My favorite part about this LOIN CLOTH is the description, which essentially says it's poky and has sharp edges. Why yes, let me put it around the loin area , then!

Also, is it me, or is "steampunk" just mostly used incorrectly to describe something crappy? See also: "rockabilly" and "vintage."


These are listed as upcycled, which always makes me wonder what they were like before. If this is the step up, I'm gonna go ahead and assume they were fished out of the garbage.


Oh good, I was looking for a scarf from Whoville!


I have to admit, I do not "carrot" all for this vest.

Bahahahaha. Puns, amiright?


Let me guess: You make your own toothpaste and reuse toilet paper. Also, you have a "faerie" name that you use during cosplay.



So wait. All I have to do is pay close to $3,000 and I get MAGIC SHOES? Made from WIRE AND TAPE? The Home Depot at which you purchased those materials at must be ENCHANTED!

I love how the description makes Gorilla duct tape sound like something from another realm. These look like my daughter made them in art class.


I didn't know that gold star shorts could be so very sad.


From the "I hope to look as square as humanly possible" collection.


Here's a fun tip: If your piece of clothing could be categorizes as a dress, top, wrap, shawl, poncho, men's t-shirt, it's probably no bueno.


Let me break down the description for you, because it's AWESOME.
This brooch is made of:
Sandpaper
Onion skin
A mysterious red powder from Morocco
Pumpkin skin
A straw

Has this person never heard of composting? That way, you help the planet and don't try to get $50 for someone to throw out your garbage.


This tunic-thingy is pretty much an exact replica from the ROmeo and Juliet scene from the cinematic gem that is "Center Stage." I know all the words to entire movie. I'm not proud of myself, OK?


Finally, something worse than jumpsuits.

Homemade jumpsuits. That make you look like you're smuggling your own popcorn into the movie theater. Awesome.



With that being said, I feel like I'm finally ready to face Friday. I'm taking my daughter bike shopping this afternoon. Steeling myself for excessive amounts of pink and licensed characters. Wish me luck.