I Wear My Sunglasses at Night...

Hey friends... This is a re-post. I was sunglasses shopping and realized that this would be a good reminder. Seriously, the Utah sun is so bright that I actually get angry at it sometimes. Like SUN! DO you not know that I need to see to drive? Stop being so OBNOXIOUS.

PS, I still go through sunglasses like the cast of Jersey Shore goes through Valtrex (ooh, ouch.) I'm on my second pair this summer. Every time I think I want to buy another pricey pair -- they are always on Groupon!! -- I'm like Jae, you know how you are. You will sit on them at one point in time. So I'm currently rocking a $11 pair of Relics. Oh yeah, be jealous.

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I probably should have written about sunglasses like, two months ago at the beginning of summer, but two months ago had just started that which would be the most accident prone two months in history during which I would singlehandedly destroy four pairs of sunglasses in a row. Like, it's getting comical.

First, I busted the arm off of my Guess sunglasses.
Then my sun snapped my Gucci (!!!!) ones in HALF.
Then, the screw came out of my Marc Jacobs and I've never gotten around to fixing it.
I bought a cheapo pair from Nordstrom and promptly sat on them in my car.
So I tried using my husband's and snapped the lens out.

You guys, I am on my SIXTH pair this summer. Which is why I'm never buying seriously expensive sunglasses again. If you're like me, spend $20 max.

As I was trying on my fifth pair of sunglasses before heading to the pool yesterday, I pondered over my face shape. I have a seriously heart-shaped face: honking huge cheekbones and a tiny, pointy chin. Because of this, I'm obsessed with aviator glasses. They draw the eye upward without giving too hard an edge. This, in turn, caused me to think about all the other face shapes and what that means for glasses shopping. Instead of trying on every pair of glasses in the store, it's easier to single out the pairs that'll work best and make quick work of the shades you'll use for the next two weeks until you sit on them in your car.

Wait, am I the only one who does that?

Heart-Shaped Faces (Think Jennifer Aniston):

For girls like me, aviators are your friend. They help to balance out the face by not being so wide, but still having enough volume. I also found out that when my eyebrows show under my glasses, I look like my dad. While my dad is a very suave dude, I don't want his eyebrows .So I look for a pair big enough to hit just above. These are pretty much perfect and will match any outfit ever. Plus, aviators are just classic.

Round Faces (Think Drew Barrymore):

If your cheekbones, chin and forehead are all generally the same width, you have a round face. THAT DOESN'T MEAN FAT, calm down. Since you have a round face, rounded sunglasses will just emphasize that roundness. Look for more rectangular frames, which will help balance out your forehead and the tops of your cheekbones for a more contoured look. Slimmer sunglasses also help to streamline the face, but I tend to avoid really overly sporty glasses since they look weird with anything but workout clothes.

Square Faces (Think Jessica Simpson):






A square face is the exact opposite of a round face. Instead of soft lines, you have a squarer jaw that basically lines up with your forehead. Because your face already has pretty rigid lines, oblong sunglasses are best for you. The roundness helps to soften those lines and there's so many freakin' cute options out there!

Oval Faces (Think Anne Hathaway):


Oval girls are lucky, since you can basically wear any style sunglasses ever. An oval face has slim cheekbones that line up with a moderate chin and forehead. The only problem is the oval faces can sometimes look longer. Because of this, purposely avoid thin sunglasses which accentuate your face length. Instead, medium to large sizes are best. Just don't go comically large, because I'll make fun of you and that's awkward for us both.

When in doubt, look for really classic shapes. Ray Ban Wayfarer looks good on pretty much any face shape.




So, is it clear as mud? You can always go to the store and try on every single pair, but last time I did that I got the stinkeye. So there you go. Deal with it, TJ Maxx employees!