Freaky Friday

Good news, guys! I actually didn't blow it too bad yesterday. I bought a couple shirts and like, a sports bra, so I feel that it was minimalist. I am jealous of one of my friends, though -- she found some awesome boots and a leather jacket and those are actually two of my faaaaavorite things to shop for. But I couldn't justify more leather jackets and more boots, so maybe failing my shopping diet was a good thing?

Anyway, for now I'll be wearing stuff I already own. That I've never worn before. UGH. Also, spring break is next week and I've been researching stuff to do all morning. What do you guys do with your kids!?

For now I'll just pretend like it's not happening. Cool? Cool. 

 These were marketed as gym wear. To that I saw I DARE YOU to wear these to the gym. Seriously. I want to see them flapping in the wind on the treadmill. 

And then I want you to grant me a wish.

 "I give up" sweatpants give up.

Yusssss pants that double as a bag and diaper genie together? LOVE. 

 This shirt is perplexing to me. Maybe because it has lace, puffy sleeves, a weird detached collar and the stylist was still like "Hm, know what this needs? An unnecessarily busy statement necklace GO."

"Honey, I know you want to go to the pool, but mommy needs 57 minutes to lace up her douchey gladiator sandals!" 

 Here's a good fashion tip: When you get dressed, look in the mirror and see where your eye is initially drawn. If it's to a feature you love, then you're doing it right. But if your eye is drawn to the deep abyss of your crotch, you may want to rethink your strategy.

 If jean shorts are jorts, are leather shorts "lorts?" Or just a really bad idea?

 More workout wear. You know, for when you're training to be La Femme Nikita, but like, also want to lose some weight.

 I know Coachella is coming up so we all have to pretend to be interested in dressing like white girl hippies for the next month, but can we talk about these shorts? And how they're actually underwear? And how you might catch an infection from that festival port-a-potty?

Not cute, white girls. 

 "They told me I could be anything... so I literally just became everything." 

Can we make a pact to never show these Pegasus tights to my daughter? Because she's already pretty weird. 

That does it for me this week. I'm going to find something to do that doesn't involve shopping. 

So basically I'll just be at home watching Say Yes to the Dress.