Freaky Friday: So Fashion!

I'm always paging through magazines (whilst ignoring my children) and looking at gooorgeous couture. That I would never be able to afford/couldn't wear without getting McDonald's sweet and sour sauce splashed across the front/would look ridiculous wearing to a parent-teacher meeting. But while there are amazing pieces out there for people who have lots of money/don't have children/shop their feelings, there is A LOT of terrible couture that gets to go in the WTH files.

So the next time you're feeling bad that you can't afford that $5K mink hat, first remember that no one needs a mink hat and second, that a lot of people pay a lot of money to look reeeeeally stupid.

 In the market for some uncomfortable-looking pleather gym shorts? Wear these and you will literally sweat away the pounds AAAAND smell like plastic AAAAND have no friends.

 You know when you hear yourself saying something to your kids, like "We don't sell our brothers at the lemonade stand" and you're like "I feel like I shouldn't have to say this."

These would cause nonstop "Please stop licking my ankles. NO YOU MAY NOT have some of the fake candy on my $900 shoes."

Also, they had these styled with a business suit.

"I usually take women seriously when they wear candy shoes" said no boss ever.

 Oh good, I was looking for some boots wearing shoes.

This is a clutch. It's also an excellent way to look like a petulant teen even though you're a grown woman.

It's like a nice cashmere sweater and the ugly sweatshirt you had in the 80s had a forbidden romance love child.

A really ugly love child.

 For some reason, when I saw these $1K Stella McCartney boots, my first reaction was that they looked like a serial killer. A really mean one who like, pulls out people's fingernails.

Is that weird?

 Which may be better than these shoes, which look more like someone desperate for attention. Literally just any attention.

 This skirt is over $1K as well, which would be a good investment if you're in love with Crypt Keeper and want him with you ALWAYS.

 For when you want to look like you have an immaculately combed ladybeard.

 Like, I don't want to be mean or anything, but this dress kiiiiiind of looks like it was made of garbage and scraps from my mom's 1992 fabric bag.

She worked a lot with Christmas plaids.

 It's a sweater! It's a yeti!

It's a yetter! Or a sweati!

Also, it's like, $2K. It would probably be cheaper to just go hunt and skin your own yeti.

This dress was a Project Runway challenge, right? It's the only reason to make a dress out of what appears to be BamBam's loin cloth, a wooden dowel, some tin foil and a perfectly nice black halter top.


Feeling a little more relieved that you can't afford couture? I am. I'll gladly go back to shopping the sale rack if it means I don't have to pretend to like furry shoulders and beard shirts. You?