Freaky Friday: Year of the Snake

The other day Tracy sent me some awesome Freaky Friday fodder. SO awesome was it that I decided to base my whole post on it. Also, it's the Year of the Snake, so I'm totally on point with this one.

 It was these leggings. The write up for them says:
"

"If you've ever wanted to experience life as a snake, fashion designer Camille Cortet can help. Her pants are designed to break down and shed like a snake's skin."

OK, I have to stop you right there. When the beginning of your product description starts with "If you've ever wanted to experience life as a _______ (insert any wild animal here)" I Have an immediate problem. Because that's some Strange Addiction stuff goin' on.

ALSO. So you start out wearing pants and by the end of the day they're gone? How does that work with like, grocery shopping and banking and stuff that normal people do, exactly. I feel like I should start just forgoing pants and tell people that I WAS wearing them, but they shed.

I just... I don't even....

I love me some snakeskin. I think it's a neutral animal print and best if you're wary of the boozy cougar-ness that can afflict leopard print. But that doesn't mean all python is good python.

That was not a suggestive joke.

 THIS, however, is a very suggestive dress. And by dress I mean underwear. And by underwear I mean prostitute uniform.

 This was 70 percent off BUT WHY. I've been looking for really bad 80s maternity clothes for so long!

 If Jerry Seinfeld was really into fashion.

 These shoes look like they want to eat babies for strength and that makes me uncomfortable.

 Hey, I love an accent nail as much as the next gal, but when they can be considered as weapons, it might be a bit much.

Also, is it weird that I kind of want to put googly eyes on the snake nail? IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY.

Fashionable Frankenstein likes trends too.

OF COURSE I would find a python jumpsuit and lose all faith in humanity and cry into a pillow. 

Why WHY do they have to ruin a perfectly good print. I'll never know. I guess I'll console myself my eating my feelings. I bought a two-pound bag of Mini Eggs the other day and have a lofty goal to eat it ASAP. It's the only thing that makes me feel better.