Freaky Friday

I took my 8-year-old shopping yesterday with her BFF for back to school. I told her to get dressed and when she came out, she was wearing a fedora, a pair of aviator sunglasses, a summer scarf and a purse. 

I told her she needed to look in the mirror and remove one accessory because I'm about those life skills.

Today is an old friend day: I'm hanging out with one friend that I've had since childhood (and happens to live in Utah and saves my sanity because her mom makes me roti when I ask) and some couple friends that my husband and I used to be basically attached to in our young and carefree newlywed days. Old friends are the best. 

But in order to do these things, I will need a shower and makeup. All in good time, because first it's Freaky Friday.  

Allison sent me this flesh-colored, pleather pleated skirt for hip grandmas everywhere. You could also use it as lame person camouflage. Just some ideas. 

Jenifer sent over this dress. And, since I don't like to judge (ahahahahahaha) I'm going to assume this woman is very focused and doesn't crave Cheetos ever. 

I mean, are we sure this is "paint?" 

(Thanks, Emilee!) 

Cari sent this glorious specimen, which is ideal for when your lips are cold, your arms are hot, and you want to look like a homemade potholder. 

Annie took this snap to prove that yes, ABC Family is now designing clothes, which probably means Melissa Joan Hart had something to do with it, and they stop every five minutes for a 20-minute break.

Only people with children understand the agony of commercials during a movie where your kids are actually interested. I hate ABC Family with the fire of a thousand suns. 

Hey, I like a strong shoulder, but I stray from anything that could be described as "shelf-like."

I'm in the middle of a historical novel right now (historical fiction lovers, I'm working through the Edward Rutherfurd books and am on "London" after just finishing "Paris" -- SO GOOD).

There was an entire section devoted to how chain mail was constructed, so I feel like I was destined to find this suit of armor this morning. 

These shoes look like they were made from Starburst wrappers. I tried to find an example but I just found these:

So I'll just skip my plans for the day and jump off a bridge instead. 

Okay, off to the shower and makeup table I go. The other thing about old friends: They remember what you looked like when you were young and skinny and fresh. 

Summer Sales: Your Best Bets Under $25

As I've trekked all over the state for back to school shopping (and I have more planned for tomorrow) I've also experienced the agony of seeing stuff on sale for me, but feeling guilty because I'm supposed to buying my kids' jeans. But guilt I will feel no more! Stores are clearing out their summer merch, so it's a killer time to stock up on stuff you'll use for the rest of the year.

Look for things that you can layer up and use past August to get the most bang for your buck. You'll add some fun stuff to your closet on the cheap and, if you're anything like me in Utah, summer will last a heck of a lot longer past the back to school season.

Maxi Dresses:

Look for 'em in non-summery colors: I love black and white because they're the easiest to layer with other colors. For now, wear to the pool or while running errands with flip flops, but when it starts to cool off, add an adorable cardigan or leather jacket and some boots. DONE.

Floaty Tanks:

Loose tanks are a staple for me when it comes to throwing something over my swimsuit before we hit the lake. But don't pass them over! They're on sale! When it's cool enough, they look great with something structured, like a shrunken blazer, skinnies and heels for date night.

Bermuda Shorts:

You can find killer deals on shorts right now. Bermudas are perfect for transitioning into fall. Of course you're probably wearing them with flip flops and T-shirts now, but  they're uber-cute with loafers and comfy sweaters in the fall, so buy 'em up! Keep an eye out for structure though: Structured shorts will look way better in the fall.

Wedges:

Skip the crazy colors, florals and cork bottoms: They'll scream summer. But if you can snag some neutral wedges with clean lines, do it. It'll stay warm for a few months yet and you can pull them off through the fall for a fate night shoe. I love wedges with a skinny cuffed jean and jacket. I especially like cognac-colored wedges with fall jewel tones.

Swimwear:

August is my sweet spot for buying swimwear because of two reasons: 1) I have a great tan by August and 2) Everything is on sale. I love department stores for a huge selection of cheap swimwear. I just barely bought a suit for $9, I kid you not. My fave is a Kenneth Cole two-piece I bought from Dillards for like, $19. And I got a free tote bag, so I win at life.

Now you know what I'm keeping an eye out for. Anything you're looking for that I can help find? Let's be honest though, I don't censor myself from shopping much. If I find a great boat shoe, summer scarf or jacket, I'm probably gonna go for it. Hooray for sales!

What I Wore: Rainy Days

 We've had a slew of rainy days this past week and it has been glorious. Cooler temps plus me not having to take my kids to the pool every day is perfection. Although one day we did pack up a picnic and go to the park only to have the sky dump on us like, three minutes into it. Utah LOVES a surprise rainstorm when everything is sunny.

So, this outfit is not seasonably appropriate for summer. It was cold and wet and puddle-y, even though it was still July. Thank goodness for layering: I wore this to work at the hospital, which means it's simultaneously freezing and boiling hot, depending on which floor you're on. I just shucked the sweater when I got hot.

I also dropped an entire large raspberry Diet Coke like, five minutes after I set foot in the hospital, so I was glad for the tall, indestructible boots. It looked like a freakin' crime scene.

 Tee: Victoria's Secret (sold out online boo) (similar)
Sweater: Calvin Klein (here) (similar) (plus)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here)
Boots: Frye (here) (similar) (wide calf)

Watch: XOXO (similar)
Cuff: Buckle (similar)

Necklaces: craft fair, stolen from my 8 year old daughter. 

You can tell it's rainy in this picture because it's all shadowy in my house. This picture was taken at like 4 in the afternoon. Gone is my glorious picture-taking light. Also this picture reminds me I need to color my roots tonight. Life is hard.

Aaaaand my kids just asked what fun activity we were doing today. Uh... what do you guys do when its's rainy? 

Freaky Friday

I had to go and register my kids for school yesterday and now I'm dreaming of a marathon Back to School shopping trip with my daughter (thank goodness I have one because seriously). Where do you guys do most of your B2S clothes shopping? I'm planning on checking out H&M and F21 for leggings and pants and then I usually do jeans from Old Navy and Gap because my 8 year old still needs an adjustable waist. Poor thing is shaped just like me: Her legs start like, directly beneath her armpits so it's impossible to find pants that fit.

My son doesn't care what I buy him. He has three shirts with pictures of sharks and just rotates through them. I'm hoping to find two more shark shirts so he doesn't try and wear the same one to school twice each week.

Anyway, I'm interested in where everyone else goes! But for now, lets get our freak on (ugh that was such an annoying thing to say).

 Kimberly sent these along. I've featured bones leggings before, by my favorite part was that these were called "empire waist." How can pants be empire waist? Explain this to me. Please.

And here we have some shoes that were made by blind orphans in...

...what's that? They were made by a seeing adult?

Well, this is awkward.

 This came from a J.Crew ad (obviously) and I was like hey, I know everyone worships J.Crew and all, but what is this look called exactly? 

Hippyfoot Business Lady Sailor? 

Sort yourself out, J.Crew.

 Corinna found this... garment.... in an in-flight magazine. The best part is that you can wear it any way your psychiatric hospital will allow you, as seen here. 

AT LEAST designers are getting smarter and putting zippers in the backs of these monstrosities. I mean, you'll still look like a demented Rainbow Brite, but at least you'll be able to get out of them quickly when you realize it. 

 Stephanie sent me a sweater that looks like a Muppet made sweet love to that old rug your Grandma won't give away. 

 Just in case you're hoping to live out your fantasies of being a formal jellyfish. 

 So Leigh emailed me and APPARENTLY, grown women in the South are wearing these pants and they are status symbols somehow? 

Can I just voice my opinion now? I hate any trend that "little girlifies" women. I also hate ribbon embellishments, excessive usage of bows and when grown women wear Saltwaters. Anytime I see women dressing in twee clothes, it makes them look like chubby, tantrum-throwing toddlers. So these ruffle pants are an abomination to me. 

I just picture a crazy stage mom who is like "Oh, my and my little Paisley are more like SISTERS than mother and daughter, right Payz?"

Cue Paisley emancipating herself from her deranged mother. 

And speaking of twee shoes for grown women:

I hope you like bananas to be this devoted to Chiquita. 

OK, yes. Back to school shopping and dreaming about what it will be like when both kids are in school and I have three glorious hours to myself each morning.  

Who am I kidding: I'll watch the Today show and think about working out until I hear the bus rumble up the street. 

5 Tips for Transitioning Your Wardrobe with Your Age

So I just had my big 3-0 birthday. I had a lot of warning beforehand that it can be a bit touchy, but I honestly haven't had much of a problem with it. I am like, 12 in my brain so it never really occurs to me to be too broken up about getting older.

But while I don't mind getting older, I do mind consistently getting mistaken for a teenager, especially in awkward situations when people come to my door and ask if my mom is home. And I say no and shut the door.

In the last year, I've noticed a pretty decided shift in the way I dress. I've definitely dialed down and defined my style a little more and ditched some of the bad tendencies I had when I was younger (Ugh, Forever 21, I'm looking at you). I've bought less stuff, but I feel like the things I've purchased both represent me better as a person and help me look a little more like my actual age.

Don't get me wrong: There are some youthful aspects of my clothes that I'll find hard to give up. I have a pair of gray and neon Nike high tops that make me look 13 and I still own a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle shirt and I'm OK with that. But otherwise, I'm over chasing trends and more into creating a style that makes sense for my age and my personality.

Here are some tips that I've picked up along the way.

1. Refine Your Natural Tastes

 I've loved graphic tees since the 10th grade, when my friends talked me into buying my first fitted T-shirt. It was purple and said "Whatever." Why am I telling you this?

If I'm not careful, I can veer to quirky territory: I have an owl shirt that says "Read" on it and I love things that I can't find anywhere else. And since I'll always gravitate toward graphics, I've learned to refine that natural inclination by going for more subdued patterns and graphics. I don't need to wear a monkey on my shirt for people to see that I'm original. This flag shirt is a fave, as well as my "Suffragette" shirt that is kind of quirky without making me look like I'm dressing myself for the first time.

2. Invest in Quality 

I feel like I kind of beat this point to death, but I can't say how much my spending habits have changed when it's come to investing in quality over quantity. Hey, I love a good deal: But my eye is more practiced to what really constitutes a good deal. If I grab something off the sale rack that shrinks or falls apart after one washing, it's not a bargain anymore. Instead, I watch for sales at my favorite stores that I know will sell quality stuff. 

And remember, some discount stores (Target, for example) has quality stuff in capsule collections on the reg. I've also had great luck shopping sales for brands like Vince Camuto, Mango, Kensie, Calvin Klein and Dorothy Perkins, where I've bought stuff that has held up beautifully. 

Don't automatically think quality=expensive. Instead, look for details and tailoring that look expensive: A trendy, slouchy top covered in sequins from F21 will look cheap next to a clean, streamlined jacket that you scored on a summer sale, even if they were comparable in costs.

3. Buy Basics with a Twist 

Don't make the mistake of thinking that maturity has to mean boredom in your wardrobe. Lately, I've been on the lookout for basics that have an extra pop. I love buying things like blazers and button-ups: I love a more tailored style. So I bought this button-up in a bright coral and a blazer with leather sleeves and you get the same basic effect but with a little personality.

Some of my fave pieces are basics with a cool color, some out-of-the-box embellishments, or even a cool texture (my black leopard blazer, for example). You don't have to just lay down and be like "OK, it's cat sweater territory for me now."

While you might feel a little too old to wear chartreuse booty shorts (and trust me, we ALL are, so go with your gut on that one) if you're in love with the color, find it in a tailored shirt or a belt and you can still inject some personality into your closet.

4. Add Accessories

One area that you can stay pretty young in your wardrobe is accessories. Seriously, I will never judge anyone who is going younger in shoes and jewelry, unless it's like jelly sandals. No one over the age of four should wear jelly sandals.

But a super fun platform heel or a leopard scarf? Please, be my guest! Because accessories are such a small part of the outfit, you don't have to worry about being "too old" to pull a patterned scarf off. You can. And you will.

So if you're totally lusting after a trendy style, see if you can find it in a smaller dose to add to your wardrobe without like, reliving your entire childhood.

5. Pay Attention to Fit 

 Okay, I will be kind of picky and judgey on this one point: We (and I mean anyone who writes, reads or relates to this blog) are too old to be wearing clothes that don't fit.

I don't care if it's too small or too big, clothes that don't fit properly give a distorted view of your body. I have a friend who has a rockin' bod but tends to wear clothes too big for her. When she did try something on that actually fit I was like "HOLY CRAP you're hot." But she didn't even know because she was always hiding in too-big stuff.

The same goes for clothes too small. You might desperately want to fit into your pre-preg jeans, but if they don't flatter, what's the point? Only you know what the number is on the tag, right? Why not finally buy a pair that make you feel amazing?

The truth is that when clothes fit perfectly, they enhance your body and make you feel better. Clothes are not solely to hide the fact that you're naked underneath. They should do something for you.

So, how do you start wearing clothes that actually fit? First, get rid of stuff that you're hanging onto because it fit "once upon a time." Then, start grabbing a few basics here and there that fit impeccably. A pair of jeans, a pencil skirt and a jacket are great places to start because they'll act as a foundation for everything else.

Remember that not all clothes are going to fit you right off the rack and that's totally fine. Steel yourself and try again -- brands vary wildly on sizing and fit, so you can't get discouraged in one store. Instead, try a place that will have a number of fits and brands -- I like department stores, obviously -- so you can start dialing in on a few brands that fit your body best so you have a starting point and go from there.

Obviously we're all different ages and it's impossible to make sweeping rules for everyone, but if you focus on maturing your style through fit, quality and accessories, you won't get stuck looking like a total caricature of your high school self, you know.

Which is awesome, because I was a friggin' awkward teenager. I don't want to go back to that place.

What do you guys think: Do you change your style with age? Give me your best tips for transition - take pity on me, I'm 30!

What I Wore: Conversations About Food

Our little weekend away was a success, if only for the fact that I got to eat a very large fruit and cheese Danish and that's really all I look for in a getaway. My little brother (who is currently living in Burundi) and I spent this afternoon talking about all the foods that we'd like to eat the next time we're home in Canada. Things on the list: Schnitzel from our old neighborhood deli, snack cakes (he likes Hostess, I prefer Ah Caramel, both are trashy and gross) and baguettes torn up into pieces and eaten with spinach dip from the grocery store on our street, with pieces covertly fed to my parent's dog. I'll be heading up North in a month or two and it's only a successful trip if I get all of my favorite foods in.

Also, I maintain that if you have nothing to talk about in a large group of people, start talking about food. It wins always. I could talk about food all day, every day.

This outfit has nothing to do with food, except for the fact that the kimono would work well if you ate too much schnitzel and had to hide a food baby. Not that it every happens to me or anything *cough*

Tank: Maurices (similar)

Kimono: Max and Riley (similar) (love the leather) (cute!)

Skirt: c/o modbod (similar) (if you're into brocade)

Shoes: Windsor (similar) (love these) (or, if you're an actual stripper)

Necklace: Aldo (hello, cheap!) (super classic)

Seriously, all I can think about is food right now. But in the meantime, I'm loving this kimono. I bought it on the cheap because I wasn't sure if I'd like it, and I'm a fan. It worked with this outfit, but I've mostly been wearing it with skinny jeans and flats for a super easy date night outfit. Moral of the story: I like food and buying cheap trendy items to make sure they work. I've already got my eye on another and I'm willing to spend a bit more because I know that I like this style. 

I mean, like, not as much as I like schnitzel and trashy Canadian snack cakes, but it's up there. 

Freaky Friday

 First off, thank you for all of your awesome responses yesterday. I seriously hit the post button and then cowered like someone was going to hit me because I was waiting for the "HOW DARE YOU" and instead I got mucho love. Seriously. Love you guys.

We are headed off on an adventure, but I couldn't have a family adventure until I got all the snark out of my system. Otherwise I get sarcastic toward my 8-year-old and it's not pretty.

Alex sent me these boot/heel/dalmation? hybrids, pointing out that they're described as "refined." Yes. Because when I think "refined," my mind goes to Forever 21 and racks of neon crop tops. 

 OK, so this shirt is pretty ugly. But the best part is that the peacock feathers all look like Pigeon from Mo Willems' book series. (Our family is like, pigeon groupies)

Aaaaand now you can't unsee it. 

 It's like Marky Mark had a love affair with an eclectic older lady. 

 What is this? A burlap Tinkerbell costume?

 The pants are bad enough. Pairing them with turtleneck llama shoes? Terrible. 

 What live grown woman has cause to wear these circus pants? Like, I dare you to think of a time and place that these are appropriate. 

"Ma'am, the OB/GYN will see you now. Here, take your pants off and drape yourself with this gown. Oh, nevermind. I see you brought your own."

 This was listed as a DIY to dress up your shoes. But also to make you look like a psychopath who scalps a blonde and then taunts police with impeccable fashion. I smell a Law & Order: SVU episode. 

Well, I should have been packing a bag like, 30 minutes ago. Time to frantically throw everything at my suitcase and hope for the best. Happy weekend everyone!