Freaky Friday: Handbags

Friday, March 25, 2011

Since we covered a little bit on purses this week, I thought it would be super fun to cover handbags for Freaky Friday. Honestly, I was not expecting to find that much. Handbags are usually pretty respectable right? Super wrong actually. There was a wealth of ugliness to be shared. Aren't you lucky? The best part about these bags is that they were all wildly expensive. Happy Birthday, hope you like crap!


Wait..... you're telling me this bag is MADE OUT OF A SOCCER BALL? You are joking.

Also, I'd like to point out that I found this one a site called "Stuff Lesbians Like" (There's one for the search terms!) Stereotypical much?


My best friend used to have this habit of turning touching moments sour by making it sound like she appreciated it by saying "Awww." Then she would turn it into a pretend vomit. Like "Hey, you look nice today." "AwwwwwwwwwwUGHHHH (finger stuck down throat).

I didn't even remember that she did this until I saw this Snoopy diaper bag. SERIOUSLY? Snoopy?



Story time! So my dad is the quietest, humblest, most well-behaved person that you'd ever meet. He worked for 30 years for GM and we never heard a peep about it. Just day in, day out he'd do what he had to do. You wouldn't even know he ever needed a break except when you'd hear him in our garage, working on his motorcycle and listening to an ancient "Magic Carpet Ride" cassette tape. I don't know why... but this purse reminds me of Steppenwolf. And my dad. I highly doubt that's why the designer was going for.

STEP AWAY FROM THE BEDAZZLER!!!!


Uhmm... this purse has a shoe. Or this shoe has a purse? Deep.



Just in case you ever wanted to know how it would look to have a jellyfish dangling from your arm.


A bag that says "I'm not a woman.... I'm a mom."



What hurts me the most is that diaper bags are SUCH big money. Like you NEED a big, fugly bag to stash your diapers in. Embroidered with another baby? So obnoxious.


Ooh, it's an EDGY diaper bag. I'm not like other moms, I'm a COOL mom.

Have you ever heard that a pig in a tuxedo is still a pig? Just sayin'.


Just so you know... this purse is $52,000. I'm assuming because it has like, 10 designer bags sewn together like Frankenstein. What a lazy designer MARC JACOBS. "Hey Marc... we need you to design our flagship bag this year."
"Aw crap... can't we just use last year's bag? Wait a minute...."


WHY DOES THIS HAUNT MY DREAMS!?

Also... if you step on its toes... do you have to say "sorry?"

Ugh... now my mind is spinning with ugly bags. I think I'm going to go downstairs and talk to my handbag cupboard for a while. They will console me with leather and hardware and promises of shopping.

11 comments:

Erin said...

Hey, random blog stalker here! I'm a friend of Kara M's. My 3 year old daughter just saw that last picture with the bird legs on it and said "What the.....ugee legs mom!" I just thought you would appreciate that. Even a 3 year old could see the ugliness of the purse!

Jae said...

haha I think you must be raising her right!!

Joy said...

The green one looks like someone cut off Tinkerbell's wings & put them on a purse.

Morgan Hagey said...

52,000 is a typo right? RIGHT??? Jae, you're killing me here. That's hideous and disgraceful. Feed a freaking third world country, don't buy that purse! YUCK! :)

Jae said...

I KNOW. Like... this is what is wrong with the world in general. $52,000 frankenstein handbags. I didn't want to believe it either.

Joy - Ahaha. Poor tinkerbell! I also wondered if it was made out the same stuff as jelly sandals.

Elaine said...

You're so funny.

Elaine said...

Ok, I realized that could sound sarcastic but really - I did indeed LOL.

Jae said...

Haha Elaine... psh. Rude.

PS I love how "LOL" is so misused that to use it in its correct context you always have to be like "I LITERALLY LOLed." No one respects the LOL.

Misty said...

All my life I've believed that nothing could be more frightening than a peacock. Until I saw the bag with claws. And now I'll have a new recurring nightmare...

Jae said...

A bag with peacock feathers AND claws!?

suan zhang said...

These types of present different benefits to women and not simply fashion privileges alone. Celine Bag offer protection and safety for that essentials a woman bears.

Pages

Powered by Blogger.
Related Posts with Thumbnails
Blog contents © How Not to Dress Like A Mom 2010. Blogger Theme by Nymphont.