What I Wore: Back to Black

Aaaand just like that, the color is gone. We'll have to settle for a pop of leopard this time around. 

This was also the picture that left me scrabbling for a hair appointment because I could see how bad my roots were. I cut off a few inches and am back to buttery fake-blonde gloriousness, as seen here. Sorry, this picture is like, four days old. 

Tee: Abound (via Nordstrom Rack - I practically buy these in bulk) (here) (plus)

Blazer: F21 (pretty darn similar - mine is old) (similar) (plus)

Pants: Calvin Klein (here) (similar) (plus)

Shoes: Mossimo (similar) (similar) (omg I can't stop)

Earrings: F21 (similar)

This is probably the last of the cute heels for a while: We were the gracious recipients of like, four inches of snow today, so it's going to have to be boots for awhile. 

I am not ready for this. 

9 Tips for Wearing White in Winter

Wearing white in winter is like, blogger fodder, amiright? They get to act like those pesky fashion rules don't apply to them and tee-hee what a pretty rebel and they eek out another post.

Unfortunately for them, wearing white in winter has been a thing like, forever. And, when done properly, you won't look like a demented blogger but a lady.

The difference between summer and winter white is completely tonal. In summer, white has a blue cast and looks amazing with like, pastels and even neons. I find that summer white is totally minimalist: It looks better with simple outfits, like a tee and jeans.

But winter white -- oh, winter white! I love the golden-toned white that starts appearing in stores come October. It's way richer and looks amazing in chunky knits and luxe layers. But even if you love white and want to wear it all year around, there's a way to wear white in winter so you don't look like a) a Laura Ashley model circa 1993 or b) a rave baby. Keep these outfits and tips and mind and you'll look ah-mah-zing.

Long sleeve stretch top / American Eagle Outfitters tank / Hollister Co. cuff skinny jeans / Yoki buckle boots, $22 / Dana Buchman mini purse / Forever 21 multi strand necklace

1. Choose WINTER white. We know this. It's a yellow-toned white that pairs best with deep jewel tones.

2. So duh, go with jewel tones. Mulberry, plum, turquoise, jade, cognac: All of these look crazy good with a gold-toned winter white.

3. Add some texture. I love a leopard with winter white, but I love a leopard with literally anything. But any texture works: Add a little snakeskin or leather, go for something sequined: The white can handle it in the winter.

4. Speaking of sparkle, let winter white and gold have a love child on your body (ew). Gold accessories will look so riiiiich.

Doublju faux leather jacket / Dorothy Perkins skirt / Uniqlo nylon stocking / Black booties, $31 / ASOS clutch, $22 / Steve Madden tear drop earrings

5. Not sure about winter white? Tone it down with a ton of black. I love the idea of a sweet skirt paired with a tough jacket and tights for a winter party. It's also a great way to bridge those white pieces you own that could be for both summer and winter.

6. Load up on winter white accessories. A scarf, a coat, some gloves, whatever. I especially love winter white with dark red... it's festive without being like, hey Santa's here!

7. Choose the right footwear. It's winter, so put away the open-toed anything. Instead, go for boots and you'll be warm and super luxe. I'm super obsessed with these over-the-knee ones. Ugh. I think I need to shop.

H m coat, $55 / Aéropostale double breasted pea coat / Calvin Klein zipper jeans / Knee high lace up boots / Dollhouse black velvet boots, $40 / Sondra Roberts faux handbag / Forever 21 faux leather satchel / Style Co leopard watch / Sole Society knot stud earrings / Fringe scarve / Nordstrom wool felt hat / Glove

8. Look for knits. While summer white is best for sleek looks, winter white is meant to look cozy. An oversized sweater or wrap coat? YES PLEASE.

9. When in doubt, layer up. Winter white looks great over deeper colors, so go for a sweater or jacket over jewel tones.

See? Winter white is actually super easy, once you know what to look for. I love it for like, a work party or Thanksgiving dinner. It's pretty and cozy without being schlumpy, which is hard to do despite the fact that "schlumpy" is a word from my imagination.

So, what do we think? Yay or nay to winter white?

What I Wore: Seeing Red

I've noticed that my last like, seven outfits were some form of black, white and gray, so I felt like I needed a little color. Honestly, I just don't wear a ton of color lately: It's transitioning into colder months and I just feel like darker colors have been a no-brainer. Still, there's something to be said for red, right?

This skirt has been a favorite (worn here and here) and has magically fit me in a range of different sizes thanks to tons of stretch. I've literally been a different size each time I've worn this skirt on the blog, so let's all say a silent prayer of gratitude for Spandex.

Also: Secret way to make your legs look uber long in skirts? Wear opaque tights with same-color shoes. Does the same thing nude shoes do to bare legs. My sister in law was like "What the heck did you do to look so tall in that skirt?" I'm a sneaky sonofagun.

Top: H&M (similar) (in black) (short sleeve) (similar)

Skirt: Tailor & Stylist, which no longer exists. That's awkward. It has a bow on the bum. That's awesome. (similar) (cute panels!) (digging this leather) (plus)

Tights: F21 (similar) (similar) (plus)

Shoes: Guess (similar, limited size) (these would be so cute too)

Earrings: F21 (similar) (want) (cheap!)

My kids wanted in on the action too, this time. And they didn't look like hobos, so I acquiesced.

This was the only nice one. The rest looked like this.

Andrew might be officially too big for me to hold in pictures. Or at all. 

He's sitting on my lap right now. 

Alright, I wore some color. Now it's probably going to back to black for a while. It's November, what do you expect? 

Talking Scents

For a while, I was obsessed with the idea of having a "signature scent." You know, like a person smells a perfume and is like "OMG that is SO Jae." In high school, I doused myself in Exclamation Blush in order to accomplish this (that makes me sound very old because I'm pretty sure Exclamation doesn't exist anymore. It was up there with Baby Soft, which my BFF wore).

I became SO SURE that it was my signature that when I broke up with my high school boyfriend and he asked for his jacket back (and sent his friend over to get it because you know, mature high school relationships), I secretly sprayed a little on it so he would get it and be like "Oh, this smells like Jae and I still am madly in love with her." Even though I broke up with him.

But that's beside the point.

As I've gotten older, I've amassed more fragrance and become less enamored with the idea of having a signature. Instead, I've learned to go for specific notes that appeal to me. Less of a signature product, more of a general idea that I gravitate toward.

I do like how scents can kind of be like dressing up. I tend to spritz based on my mood or style for that day than grabbing one signature scent again and again. Whether I need to take care of business or turn it up for date night, there's totally a scent for that.

In general, I have pretty tomboyish tastes when it comes to fragrance. I always say I like it teeter on the edge of being masculine. No florals here. But I'm always up for new recommendations, so let's share, shall we? I'll tell you what I'm wearing nowadays (and when I wear it) and you can share your fave scent.

And we'll all have signature scents together.

Viktor and Rolf Flowerbomb
Best for: Everyday Wear

If I was to have a "signature," this would be it. Despite it's uber girly, floral name, I detect more vanilla in this perfume than anything. It's a super warm, subtle scent that I love. I have the roller balls and I pop one in my purse so I can apply it throughout the day.

My husband has commented to me that his receptionist at work must wear this because she smells like me and I find it oddly flattering that he can tell.

GAP So Pink
Best for: Casual Stuff

I'm not sure if they're still selling this in stores or not. I think I bought it last year. But I love it for casual days because it just smells clean: A little cirtusy and really bright and not cloying at all. It's just low key, kind of like yours truly when she doesn't have to plan for picture day.

Calvin Klein Euphoria and Forbidden Euphoria
Best For: Vamp and Vamp Light

These are definitely the strongest scents I own. I've been wearing CK Euphoria for a few years and it's still my date night go to: It's really spicy and musky. If it's a little too spicy for you, Forbidden is basically the same scent, but with more vanilla to temper that heat which I really like. It's like, Forbidden is for a movie date night, and Euphoria is for a fancy schmancy dinner. 

Yes I sound insane, but you know what I mean. Both are just super sexy, but in two different levels.

Victoria's Secret Bombshell
Best for: Taking Care of Business 

The fact that this perfume is called "Bombshell" makes me laugh a little, because I find it to be the most masculine scent I own. It's really just down-to-earth, very clean and just the tiniest bit floral. The website says "exotic?" But it really reminds me of a light cologne more than anything. I wear it when I want to feel super in charge, like during out-of-control work calls or going bathing suit shopping.

So if your definition of "bombshell" is actually "ladyboss," then yes, this is very bombshell-y indeed.

I also have Tease from Victoria's Secret and like it, but the bulb-y thingy broke and now I don't reach for it as much because that's too much work now.  But I like it: It's pretty girly and amber-y.

Bath and Body Works Wild Madagascar Vanilla
Best for: All Day (and Bargain Hunters!) 

I grabbed this as an impulse buy to get a discount a couple of months ago, and I can't believe it's become a staple for me. I don't usually like Bath and Body Works scents because they're really super strong, but this one is soft and very sweet: A little goes a long way. There was even a post about on HuffPost, which I thought was funny and gave me a little pat on the back for having good taste. I'll buy this again and totally want the rest of the line. I'm pretty impressed that this cheapie perfume smells higher end than it really is. Shhhh don't tell. Also, I don't know if it matters, but my kids LOVE this perfume. They always comment on it when I wear it. So there's that.


Do you see a pattern here? I don't have a signature fragrance, but I do choose scent based on the same three notes over again: I like vanilla undertones, a bit of spice and a warm or musky component. If I choose florals, they're usually light and combined with citrus to be less sweet.


Now it's your turn: I love getting fragrance for Christmas, so I'm looking for some of your faves. What are you wearing, what do you hate (like Beyonce's Heat omg it smelled like motor oil cat placenta), what are you asking for?

What I Wore: Measurable Goals

Yay! Halloween is over and now I shall commence doing everything I can to not jump the gun and start playing Christmas music. I told my husband I could only realistically hold off until the 15th. Measurable goals, people. 

The last couple of weeks have been uber busy on the mom side of things. I like to compartmentalize everything: Mom and family stuff is separate from work stuff, which is separate from friend stuff. And usually, through careful planning, I can totally keep them separate and functioning on their own withing losing my mind. But sometimes all that stuff sort of collides and I have to do all three at the same time. On the day I wore this, I had a work call, parent-teacher conference and girl's night with friends, so I went with casual/polished and called it good. 

Top: Victoria's Secret (here) (similar fit) Seriously every time I go into VS I walk out with two of their casual tees. Super comfy and a little sloppy, they're what I wear like 87 percent of the time. Also, size the freak down if you're buying these. They're oversized. 

Jeans: H&M (here) (similar) (plus)

Shoes: Madden Girl (similar) (similar)

Necklace, watch: Nordstrom (awesome) (yaaas) (watch here) (omg they have it in black I'm dead)

That day was psychotic, but at least I was comfortable and reasonably well-dressed and my hair was clean, which like, matters. Trying to retain some semblance of a professional career along with a social life while being a mom is so FUN right? Low standards and measurable goals: It's where it's at. 

And the Winner Is...

SEXY BABY! (Why am I writing these words on my website?) sent in by Beth! Beth, email me your info and I'll send off that gift card. Sexy Baby narrowly beat Pregnant Troll. I was secretly hoping for Sexy Oxen, but what are ya gonna do.

PS We all agree that sexy babies aren't a thing, right? They're a BBC special.


Anyway, thanks everyone for playing this year. I'm off to dress my kids up, stand outside in the freezing school parking lot and take part in a kindergarten Halloween party. After which I'll probably jump off a cliff because I hate this holiday.

Although I do have big plans to watch "Teen Witch" while I hand out candy tonight, and we all know that's the best Halloween movie of all time and the only thing that will make it bearable. Get that "Hocus Pocus" mess outta here.

Have fun, be safe, don't dress like a prostitute!

xo,
Jae

Jae's 4th Annual Trashy Halloween Costume Contest!!

It's the most wonderful time of the year, guys. That time when children use their imaginations to become whatever they want to be, and the time that costume companies decide all women want to dress like strippers.

I started the Annual Trashy Halloween Contest four years ago as a way to document the most ridiculous "sexy" costumes available to women (and as a way to stop people from seeing Bert and Ernie as sexual objects because that's gross). And every year, I laugh at my notes for this post because I have to write things like "Sexy Slice of Pizza" out to keep track of entries.

And I like that.

As usual, if you don't see you entry here, it was either used in a previous year OR someone beat you to it and sent the same one in first. Vote in the comments with the most egregious sexy offender and I'll tally up the votes Halloween morn. Winner gets $25 to Target and the title of "Best Trashy Costume Shamer in the Land!"

Are you ready for this? Yes. You were born ready. Let's go!

Sexy Ebola Containment Suit: Because the pain and suffering of an entire African region and thousands of people is SO HOT RIGHT NOW.

Seriously I will actually punch anyone who wears this so be aware of that. Thanks, Tiffany H. (or no thanks, you choose)

Jennifer W. sent in this Sexy Leatherface costume, Because when I think about a crazed lunatic who cuts off teenagers' faces, I often wonder if he had a special someone with smokin' legs. 

Meleah sent over this Sexy Martini, which I can only assume is desperate, not stirred. 

I don't know what you're talking about, Beth G. I have fantasies involving McDonald's french fries like, every night. 

Mostly that they magically become carb-free. 

Also, why is "Hot Fries" written on the crotch? It sounds like something you should probably get checked out. 

Michelle S. sent over this super sexy Blue Ox. Halloween: The only time when being called a "cow" can be construed as a compliment. Why yes, thank you, I am in fact a cow. 

Sexy Banana, you probably shouldn't make eye contact with anyone for the rest of the night. Thanks , Annie R.!

This Sexy Olaf costume was the one I received most frequently, and Alana K. was the first to send it in and remind me that "Do you like warm hugs?" wouldn't get old and tired AT ALL. 

Like, I'm not even trying to be dramatic right now, but if you sexify a cartoon snowman, I feel like you should probably be drowned in a pot of children's tears because that's friggin' creepy. 

This Sexy Bomb might "explode" and by "explode" I mean "stalk you on Facebook and act like she knows intimate details of your life by chance."

Because we all agree that women who dress like this on Halloween are insane. Like, burn your house to the ground because you didn't like her costume insane (Thanks Amy!)

Corinna T. sent me this sexy Mad Hatter (I think) costume. I think sexy costumes just get ambiguous over the year. Put on some knee-high socks and a short skirt and you can literally be "Sexy Anything."

Amy sent this Sexy Nerd over. Too bad it's not a Sexy Nerd who has taken Photoshop because learn to use the blur tool, my friend. 

Mmm, sexy Candy Corn. Makes your stomach hurt and gets stuck in your teeth. (Thanks, Amy N.)

Amanda H. sent me this sexy Pregnant Troll and I was like WTH I can't even with this anymore. Like, it broke my soul as a human being, so I hope you're happy Amanda. 

Beth sent over this Sexy Baby outfit because you know what really turns me on this holiday season? 

Pedophilia. 

Amber W. sent over this costume, which I think is supposed to be Miley Cyrus from "Wrecking Ball" but is instead just an excuse to wear a sports bra and underpants as a costume and I hate everyone and everything. 

Michelle S. sent over this "Galaxy Gremlin" which is obviously a non-licensed Yoda.

Ladies, if your husband's roleplaying fantasy is Yoda, RUN AWAY. 

Thanks for the sexy Sock Monkey, Jenna F. I was actually wondering when costume makers would hurry up and defile innocent childhood playthings.

Also, I feel like it's a testament to my true nature that the first thing I thought upon seeing this costume was "Wow, those shoes do not go." 

Alright, that's the lineup for this year. I know I have my favorites -- what do you think is the very skankiest of skankiness here? Vote until 11:59pm, tomorrow night and I'll announce the winner before I have to go dress my kids up. 

Thanks to everyone who entered. It affirms that I'm not the only one that feels like the sexification of this holiday is super gross and quite frankly, a little smelly. 

Also, still struggling for a last-minute costume idea? Try this hot mama outfits that really get your motor running (thanks, Bethany C.!)