I got the best email ever from reader Nelda and it raised a few questions, so I wanted to share:
"I am a faithful reader of your blog. You are such a great writer and hilarious and you keep it real. Thank you so much. So I went to City Creek the other day and everywhere I saw.. mom jeans! The horror. I shuddered. Then I went online today and read some article about some new "research" that mom jeans or high waisted and tapered jeans are all the rage. See here http://qz.com/175954/a-seismic-shift-in-fashion-could-be-upon-us-the-triumphant-return-of-high-waisted-jeans/. This is distressing to me! How can I navigate this dark period of fashion? I LOVE skinny jeans and colored jeans and sometimes I still rock bootcut jeans but how is anyone going to look good in a jean that takes an hour to zip up all the way and does disturbing things to one's bum shape?? Also, sidenote, I am sick of all the "ironic" clothing going on (ahem, urban outfitters). Anyway, please advise Jae. You keep it sane for me in the fashion world."
Let me first say: Nelda, I heart you with much hearting. But let me also say I am totally onboard with what you're saying. Sometimes, fashion sucks for a few different reasons:
- It doesn't match or look good with your body shape.
- It's for 12-year-olds, despite grown women wearing it.
- It's ugly and just plain sucks.
Mom jeans, I'm looking at you.
So what do you do when shopping makes you out-of-touch and kind of annoyed and weirdly protective of your bootcut jeans? Let's brainstorm:
1. Find Something That You DO Like
It's pretty rare that an entire season goes by that literally everything sucks. Usually, even if I'm not onboard with whatever's popular, I can find some incarnation that I do like. Take booties, for example. As a girl whose current theme song is by Nicki Minaj, sleek booties make me look like I'm a pear walking around on toothpicks. Not pretty.
But I have found, however, that wearing wedge booties or boots with a little more bulk (straps, buckles, what have you) on the foot tend to balance out my body. So hey, neat! I can wear something, even if it's not the exact duplicate of a magazine spread, right?
The thing is that trends, whatever they are, are built around size 0 model bodies, something that I lack. If you try to mash every trend onto your bod, you're going to be disappointed. But you can still take a concept and run with it. Maybe you love the 90s resurgence happening right now but know that acid wash jeans are no good (and they are not). Go for another element -- I'm loving the 90s-inspired strappy shoes kicking around right now -- and do that instead.
So, in Nelda's example: I would never rock a pair of mom jeans, no matter how many Miley Cyruses try to make it happen. But, I can respect a lighter pair of denim with zero irony. SO I might go shopping for a pair of light gray jeans in a fit that I love. Stick with shapes that flatter you, even if you want to try out a new color, pattern, etc (Does anyone watch Mindy Project? Last night, Morgan's "etca, etca?" Dead).
2. Go Cheap
I still don't spent more than like, $30 on a pair of colored denim. I think they're super cute, I just don't think they're going to last forever in terms of style. And I don't want to sit and bemoan the loss of hundreds of dollars in mustard yellow jeans when they're woefully passe (I sound like an idiot right now).
So, say you see some fashion and you're like "I don't know... maybe?" Head to a cheap place like F21 or H&M and grab a bargain-basement version. That way, you can test drive a look without committing. If you find that OMG, you're wearing that piece like, five out of five days, THEN invest in something good.
(I thought I'd love these rugged-style boots and have worn them like, three times. So glad I didn't spend a ton of money on them). I'll invest in pieces that will look good forever instead, like a solid leather jacket, a pair of riding boots or a basic pair of dark denim instead.
3. Opt Out
Just because something is in a store DOES NOT mean you have to (or should) buy it. I think overalls are the worst, yet they're in every junior store ever. I just pass 'em on by, because this body was not meant to dress like a farmer.
In the end, you have to know your body and style well enough that when you see something in a store window, magazine or blog, you can tell whether or not it's for you. Don't be a trend whore about it. If you know your style well enough, then it's easy to weed out what does and doesn't work. I like structure, leather and buckles... I'm not swayed by floral prints, anything twee or "formal sweatpants" which should absolutely not be a thing. So I'm out.
I think the mark of someone who is well-dressed is usually someone who has a distinct style and freshens it up over the course of the year. A well-chosen accessory here, adding in some color there, but still relying on the same shapes as before.
If your body looks amazing in bootcut jeans, wear the bootcut jeans. Fit and flattery is way more important than trend factor. It's why I have lived my entire life in button-up shirts: They look good on me, no matter what. I've had this buffalo plaid shirt for five years and what do you know, buffalo plaid is big this fall.
It also explains why I've never participated in the boyfriend jeans trend. They just don't flatter me at all. So I'm not even going to try it.
Fashion is so cyclical and fickle there's no way to keep up with every trend. Besides, you'll look demented. Know yourself and your style and you can pick and choose which trends you'll participate in and which ones you can totally roll your eyes at.
And yeah, don't wear mom jeans please. NO ONE looks good with a 16-inch crotch. K?
