Freaky Friday

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How to: Style Cropped Pants

We all know how I feel about capris (see here if you don't and you also want to see one of the most epic throw-downs on HNTDLAM history [second only to the Yoko Ono fight])

I later had to clarify the question of length. I hate capris because they traditionally cut across the widest part of the leg and that sucks and makes legs look wide and short. I don't, however, mind a good pair of cropped pants, which cut across the slimmer part of your legs.

So, when reader Beth asked about styling cropped pants, I decided to make up some outfit ideas. As much as for me as for you, because I have a few pairs of cropped pants and I sometimes forget I even have them so I don't wear them as much as I could.

A few rules for crops before we start:

1. I like a colored crop. I have a hard time seeing myself actually purchasing like, regular blue denim crops because if I wanted those, I'd just cuff my regular skinny jeans. So, when I do buy crops, I tend to go for colored skinnies instead.

2. That's the thing: They should be skinny. No flared or wide-leg crops. They mess up proportion, and because crops visually shorten the leg, any added width is going to make a huge difference.

3. Crops should cut across the smaller part of your calf. You can also do like, ankle-length, too. On an average 5'5" woman, that means the inseam will probably be around 25 inches, but don't quote me on that.

4. Flat fronts always. Never pleats. Don't do that to yourself.

Now, because a good pair of crops should be skinny, the rest of your outfit is a question of balance. While I won't hate on you if you wear crops with flip flops and T-shirt, I don't think it's going to be the most flattering way to wear them, you know? Instead, layering and volume on top will look best.

Another awesome thing about crops? They're the PERFECT way to show off some seriously cute shoes. That makes me very happy indeed.

Here are a couple of ideas.

Casual:

J Crew long sleeve striped top / American Eagle Outfitters denim jacket / 
Tory Burch skinny jeans / Roxy black shoes / Sole Society crossbody handbag / 
Wet Seal black watch / Black and white infinity scarf / Stretchy belt, $8.39

This is obviously more of a fall outfit, but you get the idea. A little more heft on top helps to balance out the slim line of the leg, while a boat shoe exposes more of the foot, so you look a smidgen taller. I love this as a "Running errands and picking up kids" look. It's put together but also pretty effortless, so it doesn't look forced. And, when it cools off, you can throw on a denim jacket and it's uber cute. Crops are a natural pairing for layering.

Dressy:

Wallis black wrap top / Dorothy Perkins blazer / Tory Burch cropped jeans / 
Charlotte Russe black pumps / Dorothy Perkins clutch / Jules Smith 80s fashion / 
Gold necklace

Hi, cutest date night look ever. I love love love crops with a blazer -- it's like a playful version of a suit. But look for a boyfriend blazer that isn't super-tight. When you wear like, cropped blazers with cropped pants, it just looks like you had a growth spurt and grew out of your clothes.

Like I said before, use crops to show off your cute shoe collection. My husband scolds me when I wear heels on date night but I'm like hey, I'm eating and sitting in a movie theater. It's the perfect time to wear completely insensible shoes, right? If you're shorter and worried about your legs looking stubby, swap out for some pointy-toes shoes and you're golden.


So there you go. Cropped pants are one of those totally wearable trends that can go from summer to fall. If you're like "Jae, for reals?" Try it out on a pair of regular skinny jeans. Cuff them to your ankle and put on a pair of heels and a blouse-y top and see how you feel. Try before you buy, folks.

What do you think? Yay or nay to crops?

What I Wore: Newlywed Game

On Friday we went out with some of our oldest friends and had so much fun (and I wore this). We grabbed some BBQ and then saw Guardians of the Galaxy and could not stop talking until I got shushed from my husband when the move started. Hey, I was catching up! We even drove my husband's old Jeep, which was our only car when we got married. So basically I felt like a baby newlywed all night long and it was awesome.

Top: BKE Boutique (gift from husband - he has good taste, right?) (similar) (super cute) (embellished collar)

Jeans: Calvin Klein because I have like four pairs now (here as per usual)

Shoes: Top Moda (similar) (similar)

Watch, bracelet: Gucci, Marc Jacobs

Earrings: Just some hoops from F21

This is actually my favorite picture that we took. I was yelling at Justin because he was taking pictures too fast and then I spend like, nine hours deleting shots of me blinking. I'm much better looking with my mouth closed. This is me saying "Staaaaaahp you're taking them too fast!" And apparently waving my hand weirdly. 

Speaking of newlyweds, on Saturday, we went and bought an entire new appliance package for our kitchen. We've been functioning with the same appliances we bought at like, garage sales when we first moved into our house eight years ago, so it was time. I am TOO excited to have a range that doesn't set off the smoke alarm every time I boil water.

Of course, after blowing that money, I feel like we're as poor as newlyweds. I might have to restrict my shopping to recover. It's a small price to pay for a better dishwasher, right?

Freaky Friday

I took my 8-year-old shopping yesterday with her BFF for back to school. I told her to get dressed and when she came out, she was wearing a fedora, a pair of aviator sunglasses, a summer scarf and a purse. 

I told her she needed to look in the mirror and remove one accessory because I'm about those life skills.

Today is an old friend day: I'm hanging out with one friend that I've had since childhood (and happens to live in Utah and saves my sanity because her mom makes me roti when I ask) and some couple friends that my husband and I used to be basically attached to in our young and carefree newlywed days. Old friends are the best. 

But in order to do these things, I will need a shower and makeup. All in good time, because first it's Freaky Friday.  

Allison sent me this flesh-colored, pleather pleated skirt for hip grandmas everywhere. You could also use it as lame person camouflage. Just some ideas. 

Jenifer sent over this dress. And, since I don't like to judge (ahahahahahaha) I'm going to assume this woman is very focused and doesn't crave Cheetos ever. 

I mean, are we sure this is "paint?" 

(Thanks, Emilee!) 

Cari sent this glorious specimen, which is ideal for when your lips are cold, your arms are hot, and you want to look like a homemade potholder. 

Annie took this snap to prove that yes, ABC Family is now designing clothes, which probably means Melissa Joan Hart had something to do with it, and they stop every five minutes for a 20-minute break.

Only people with children understand the agony of commercials during a movie where your kids are actually interested. I hate ABC Family with the fire of a thousand suns. 

Hey, I like a strong shoulder, but I stray from anything that could be described as "shelf-like."

I'm in the middle of a historical novel right now (historical fiction lovers, I'm working through the Edward Rutherfurd books and am on "London" after just finishing "Paris" -- SO GOOD).

There was an entire section devoted to how chain mail was constructed, so I feel like I was destined to find this suit of armor this morning. 

These shoes look like they were made from Starburst wrappers. I tried to find an example but I just found these:

So I'll just skip my plans for the day and jump off a bridge instead. 

Okay, off to the shower and makeup table I go. The other thing about old friends: They remember what you looked like when you were young and skinny and fresh. 

Summer Sales: Your Best Bets Under $25

As I've trekked all over the state for back to school shopping (and I have more planned for tomorrow) I've also experienced the agony of seeing stuff on sale for me, but feeling guilty because I'm supposed to buying my kids' jeans. But guilt I will feel no more! Stores are clearing out their summer merch, so it's a killer time to stock up on stuff you'll use for the rest of the year.

Look for things that you can layer up and use past August to get the most bang for your buck. You'll add some fun stuff to your closet on the cheap and, if you're anything like me in Utah, summer will last a heck of a lot longer past the back to school season.

Maxi Dresses:

Look for 'em in non-summery colors: I love black and white because they're the easiest to layer with other colors. For now, wear to the pool or while running errands with flip flops, but when it starts to cool off, add an adorable cardigan or leather jacket and some boots. DONE.

Floaty Tanks:

Loose tanks are a staple for me when it comes to throwing something over my swimsuit before we hit the lake. But don't pass them over! They're on sale! When it's cool enough, they look great with something structured, like a shrunken blazer, skinnies and heels for date night.

Bermuda Shorts:

You can find killer deals on shorts right now. Bermudas are perfect for transitioning into fall. Of course you're probably wearing them with flip flops and T-shirts now, but  they're uber-cute with loafers and comfy sweaters in the fall, so buy 'em up! Keep an eye out for structure though: Structured shorts will look way better in the fall.

Wedges:

Skip the crazy colors, florals and cork bottoms: They'll scream summer. But if you can snag some neutral wedges with clean lines, do it. It'll stay warm for a few months yet and you can pull them off through the fall for a fate night shoe. I love wedges with a skinny cuffed jean and jacket. I especially like cognac-colored wedges with fall jewel tones.

Swimwear:

August is my sweet spot for buying swimwear because of two reasons: 1) I have a great tan by August and 2) Everything is on sale. I love department stores for a huge selection of cheap swimwear. I just barely bought a suit for $9, I kid you not. My fave is a Kenneth Cole two-piece I bought from Dillards for like, $19. And I got a free tote bag, so I win at life.

Now you know what I'm keeping an eye out for. Anything you're looking for that I can help find? Let's be honest though, I don't censor myself from shopping much. If I find a great boat shoe, summer scarf or jacket, I'm probably gonna go for it. Hooray for sales!

What I Wore: Rainy Days

 We've had a slew of rainy days this past week and it has been glorious. Cooler temps plus me not having to take my kids to the pool every day is perfection. Although one day we did pack up a picnic and go to the park only to have the sky dump on us like, three minutes into it. Utah LOVES a surprise rainstorm when everything is sunny.

So, this outfit is not seasonably appropriate for summer. It was cold and wet and puddle-y, even though it was still July. Thank goodness for layering: I wore this to work at the hospital, which means it's simultaneously freezing and boiling hot, depending on which floor you're on. I just shucked the sweater when I got hot.

I also dropped an entire large raspberry Diet Coke like, five minutes after I set foot in the hospital, so I was glad for the tall, indestructible boots. It looked like a freakin' crime scene.

 Tee: Victoria's Secret (sold out online boo) (similar)
Sweater: Calvin Klein (here) (similar) (plus)
Jeans: Calvin Klein (here)
Boots: Frye (here) (similar) (wide calf)

Watch: XOXO (similar)
Cuff: Buckle (similar)

Necklaces: craft fair, stolen from my 8 year old daughter. 

You can tell it's rainy in this picture because it's all shadowy in my house. This picture was taken at like 4 in the afternoon. Gone is my glorious picture-taking light. Also this picture reminds me I need to color my roots tonight. Life is hard.

Aaaaand my kids just asked what fun activity we were doing today. Uh... what do you guys do when its's rainy? 

Freaky Friday

I had to go and register my kids for school yesterday and now I'm dreaming of a marathon Back to School shopping trip with my daughter (thank goodness I have one because seriously). Where do you guys do most of your B2S clothes shopping? I'm planning on checking out H&M and F21 for leggings and pants and then I usually do jeans from Old Navy and Gap because my 8 year old still needs an adjustable waist. Poor thing is shaped just like me: Her legs start like, directly beneath her armpits so it's impossible to find pants that fit.

My son doesn't care what I buy him. He has three shirts with pictures of sharks and just rotates through them. I'm hoping to find two more shark shirts so he doesn't try and wear the same one to school twice each week.

Anyway, I'm interested in where everyone else goes! But for now, lets get our freak on (ugh that was such an annoying thing to say).

 Kimberly sent these along. I've featured bones leggings before, by my favorite part was that these were called "empire waist." How can pants be empire waist? Explain this to me. Please.

And here we have some shoes that were made by blind orphans in...

...what's that? They were made by a seeing adult?

Well, this is awkward.

 This came from a J.Crew ad (obviously) and I was like hey, I know everyone worships J.Crew and all, but what is this look called exactly? 

Hippyfoot Business Lady Sailor? 

Sort yourself out, J.Crew.

 Corinna found this... garment.... in an in-flight magazine. The best part is that you can wear it any way your psychiatric hospital will allow you, as seen here. 

AT LEAST designers are getting smarter and putting zippers in the backs of these monstrosities. I mean, you'll still look like a demented Rainbow Brite, but at least you'll be able to get out of them quickly when you realize it. 

 Stephanie sent me a sweater that looks like a Muppet made sweet love to that old rug your Grandma won't give away. 

 Just in case you're hoping to live out your fantasies of being a formal jellyfish. 

 So Leigh emailed me and APPARENTLY, grown women in the South are wearing these pants and they are status symbols somehow? 

Can I just voice my opinion now? I hate any trend that "little girlifies" women. I also hate ribbon embellishments, excessive usage of bows and when grown women wear Saltwaters. Anytime I see women dressing in twee clothes, it makes them look like chubby, tantrum-throwing toddlers. So these ruffle pants are an abomination to me. 

I just picture a crazy stage mom who is like "Oh, my and my little Paisley are more like SISTERS than mother and daughter, right Payz?"

Cue Paisley emancipating herself from her deranged mother. 

And speaking of twee shoes for grown women:

I hope you like bananas to be this devoted to Chiquita. 

OK, yes. Back to school shopping and dreaming about what it will be like when both kids are in school and I have three glorious hours to myself each morning.  

Who am I kidding: I'll watch the Today show and think about working out until I hear the bus rumble up the street.