Freaky Friday

 One thing I love about summer: My kids literally end up sleeping in until like, 10 am every morning. And, since I wake up around 6 am (not by choice I have the world's worst biological clock) I get like, four precious and beautiful hours to myself during which I can get stuff done.

It's happy.

Other things I love about summer: The fact that we got swimming lessons over and done with, reading my Kindle at the splash pad because I don't have to worry about my kids drowning, and the snow cone shack near my house that now has Birthday Cake flavor.

Also, Freaky Friday.

Bethany sent this over during my hiatus and said it looked like a homeschooling mom and then I died of accuracy.

 I'm not sure why this is a shoe. It looks like a Disney Jr. character. 

 Nora sent over this "purse," which I will now delete from my computer forever before my daughter finds it and becomes more ridiculous than she already is. 

 Brenda sent over this really uber-flattering gold lame maternity swimsuit, which incidentally are six words that have never been used together before. 

 Because you've always wanted your foot to look like a blind person's representation of Strawberry Shortcake. 

 "I Fell in a Waist-High Vat of Bleach and All I Got Was This Lousy Tunic"

So every time you look in the mirror you can question whether or not your shirt is buttoned correctly. 

 My husband already gets annoyed when I take too long to get ready. When the lag time is due to buckling roughly 62 straps on my shoes, we're probably getting divorced. 

Also, another fun fact about our relationship: My husband is so quiet that he scares me on a daily basis just by walking into a room. The other day I jumped when he turned a light switch on. 

Then I kicked him. 

And I wish I were wearing these. 

 Beetlejuice porn. 

 If I wanted a faded, wrinkled shirt, I'd just fish one out of the bottom of my closet. 

 And finally, don't forget: Sunday is Father's Day. Might I suggest buying him a British schoolboy's uniform disguised as a grown man's suit? 

Because we all know how I feel about man thighmeat. 

(Thanks Dawn!)

Alright, I'm off to do some Father's Day shopping of my own and then logging some blissed-out Kindle quality time while my kids run rampant at the trampoline gym. 

Summer is beautiful. 

Beauty Review: Urban Decay Naked and Naked3

 YAY two posts in a row! I win at life!

Since I've had a couple of months with both my Naked palettes, I thought I'd do a quick write-up of whether or not they're worth your money.

My husband bought me both palettes: I got Naked for Christmas and then Naked3 for Mother's Day. Now, those of you who can count may have noticed that Naked 2 is missing here. I'm going to be totally honest with you: After comparing them all, I didn't really see a need for Naked 2. It's super gold and 1) I have very pink skin and 2) Naked has the most perfect golds ever. So, being the rebel that I am, I skipped 2 and went straight for 3.

In short, I'm incredibly happy with both. To say that I've stopped using all other eyeshadow would be the understatement of the century. I use these every day instead. EVERY. DAY. They go on super smooth, blend well, and the colors are saturated and pretty. Of course, they aren't perfect. While I love how super appropriate the colors are (seriously, you could wear these to a wedding and a funeral in the same day), I DO wish there were some plum-my tones, just because that's my favorite.

The colors for Naked, left to right are: Virgin, Sin, Naked (duh), Sidecar, Buck (my fave), Half Baked, Smog, Darkhorse, Toasted (ugh so pretty), Hustle, Creep (blackest black) and Gunmetal

The colors I use most are Virgin (perfect highlighter), Buck, Toasted and Hustle. I actually don't use the grays a lot. They're super dark and I tend to use Blackheart from Naked3 for a smokey eye.

(here)

Naked3 has Strange, Dust, Burnout, Limit, Buzz, Trick, Nooner (love), Liar, Factory, Mugshot, Darkside and Blackheart (just shut up it's too good). 

The colors I use most are Strange, Nooner, Factory and Blackheart, which is a red sparkle-infused gray that makes the most incredible smokey eye I've ever seen. Like, you don't even know. 

(here)

Both palettes have their pros and cons. I love the variety that Naked offers, but Naked3 would be easier for beginners because every color goes with literally every other color in the palette and there's no way to screw them up.

If you were to pick one (because they're friggin expensive) I would say that Naked is the must-have out of the two. I'm glad I got Naked3, but a lot of the colors are very similar (because the whole palette has a rose gold theme) and I don't see a ton of difference  between like, Burnout and Limit when they're actually on my face. When I use up Naked3, I'd probably just go buy singles of Nooner, Factory and Blackheart and call it a day. I would, however, just re-buy the entire Naked palette because every color is very distinct. 

One more thing: I use the Urban Decay eyeshadow primer every time I use these palettes. The colors are more vibrant over top and it seriously lasts forever. I've almost completely stopped wearing eyeliner because these colors are enough, especially when combined with the lasting power of the primer. There are a few different choices for the primer (it comes in different colors and formulas) but my fave is definitely Eden, which is super matte and pretty brightening too. An eensy, weensy amount goes a long way and it works amazingly for other brands of eyeshadow. You can find it here.

Anyway, since the Naked palettes are a bit of an investment at $50 a pop, I think it's worth it to see them in person first. Are they awesome? Yes. Should you feel pressured to buy all three? Probably not. 

Does anyone else have these babies? I want to hear from someone who has Naked2 on how they feel about it's goldiness. 

Yes. Goldiness.

What I Wore: Triumphant Return

I told you I'd be back! Things are starting to calm down around here: I handed in the majority of that big work project, my mom is here shuttling my kids around to swim lessons and feeding them breakfast, and I even had time to go sob with my friends over "The Fault in Our Stars" and then wonder what it would be like if grown men attended sad movies in groups like women do.

And, since my mom has been here, we've done a little shopping, so I have lots of fun things to show you. I also have a shopping-related girls trip next week so brace yourselves, people. Things are gonna get extreme and I don't just mean my carbohydrate intake.

Tank: Ali and Chris (similar) (similar) (cheaper!)
Cardi: Gap (similar) (cheap!)
Skirt: Calvin Klein (here - you have to see it up close!) (similar)
Shoes: Top Moda
Necklace: Plunder 

I saw this skirt and knew it had to be mine. It's perforated, so it's actually really flowy, despite being leather and the lining is just a smidge shorter than the overlay which is SO. PRETTY. I expect to have many happy years together. I will say that if you do think about grabbing this one, to size down. This was a 2 and there is no way on God's green earth that I'm actually a size 2. I'm usually a 4 or 6. So keep that in mind if you're in the market for, you know, a perforated dotted leather a-line summer skirt. 

Like so many people are. 

Hopefully I'll be back to posting regularly this week, especially because I have a zillion Freaky Friday pictures just waiting for angry sarcasm. I've already been like, superhumanly productive today so I'm feeling pretty optimistic. 

On Hold

You guys, I could not be more confused about what day it is. I tend to post M,W, F, and then I got mixed up because of Memorial Day and posted Tuesday, but in my head it was definitely still Monday. Now it's almost Friday and my first world problems are making me feel foggy and off-balance.

I'm also meant to be on a conference call in exactly nine minutes, so this has to be quick. Because I definitely thought today was Wednesday.

I'm also up to my eyeballs in a huge work project (hence my bribing my 5-year-old with Nintendo time to be quiet during said long conference calls), so will you bear with me and check back for just outfits and Freaky Friday for the next week or so? I've got to put something on hold or my very serious business job will start bleeding into my blog or vice versa, and I'm fairly sure my client doesn't want a 5,000 word piece on why I hate Crocs.

 As much as I would love to write that.

 Keep up with me via Instagram, Facebook, and a very pitiful Twitter account and we should be back to normal in a little while.

Thanks fraaands!

What I Wore: American Hipster

I am inexplicably attracted to Americana, which is ironic because I'm not American at all. Wait, if I wear Americana ironically, does that make me a hipster? CRAP.

WHO AM I.

Top: Just Ginger (that's a stupid name) (similar) (maternity) (want!)

Jeans: Maurice's (similar) (similar)

Boots: Call it Spring (here) 

Necklace: Craft fair. It's literally just a letter pendant on a leather cord. See also: Things I could have made myself but instead purchased from other people. 

I wore this on one of those multipurpose days when I was hauling kids to baseball practice and grocery shopping but also having dinner with friends. Skinny jeans and booties forevaaaar. 

Sorry if none of this makes sense. The last two days have been very warm and I'm still acclimating and I feel sunburned and a little sundrunk. I need a nap. Like I'm literally just waiting around for my daughter to get home to be in charge so I can sleep. 

Ooh, I can hear her! Mom of the year, basically. 

Summer Style: Hats

So I'm a big hat person. I live in them all summer long because a) they obviously keep the sun off my face and b) the idea of blowdrying my hair in the heat is akin to the idea of baking cookies on Jae's scale of "Crap I Don't Need to Do to be Happy."

Therefore, much of the summer is spent with a hat jammed on my head. Here's the thing though: I used to think I was definitely NOT a hat person. Excepting a weird phase when I was 12 when I wore a yellow bucket hat everywhere, I went much of my life thinking that hats were for other people. I have large features, and so hats (especially growing up in Canada, where that meant toques) looked weird on me.

Now I love hats and I want you to love them too. So much of feeling confident in one is in choosing the right type of hat for your features and face shape. Once you've nailed that, you're good to go.

A rule of thumb: For me, pulling off hats also amounts to hair and makeup. I usually leave my hair loose and wavy  or in a low, messy bun (again, no blowdrying in the summer) and put a little more effort into my eye makeup when I'm going to be wearing a hat. It makes it look "on purpose" rather than "I just shoved this on my head and ran out the door."

The second rule of thumb is to choose a hat with a brim in proportion to your features. That's why I look sucky in toques (knit hats, for you Yankees). Large features = larger brim. Small features = smaller brim. Yay!

Alright, face shapes:

Heart-Shaped Face

Hey, let's be friends, because I have a heart-shaped face too. That means you have wider cheekbones and a prominent chin, which can make your cheeks look even wider. Luckily, we can rock a classic ball cap like it's our job, which makes me happy. I lean toward vintage caps that add a little height to my face.

O'NEILL Garrett Womens  Hat

Roxy Women's Camp Out Hat

Prana Citizen

Oval Face

If you have an oval face and your forehead, cheeks and chin are all pretty proportionate, you're in luck because you can wear just about anything. Just be conscious of anything with height, since it can make your head look longer. Instead, go for a shorter brim and forehead -- military hats and even rounded straw hats will look best. Just keep the top of the hat (the distance between your forehead and the top) pretty short. 

Braided-Trim Straw Hat

Jessica Simpson Tweed Dot Military Cap

Barbour Wax baker boy hat

Round Face

Look at you, you little baby angel. If you have a round face, rounded hats will make you look -- you guessed it -- round. Since you have full cheeks and a rounder chin, you'll want something that balances out those rounder features. A brim that slants over one side of your face can help create some angles. You look uber cute in a straw fedora and I am jealous because I do not. You can also choose a hat with a higher, square top to add length to your face.

BP. Straw Fedora (Juniors)

Carhartt Women's Osmore Conductor Cap

CALVIN KLEIN Textured Fedora

Square Face

If your face is pretty angular with a strong chin, you want a little femininity in your hat. Don't get me wrong, you look like a total boss in a vintage ball cap. But some softness can help counteract a strong chin. If you do a ball cap, pick one that's a bit girly and you're good to go, otherwise floppy hats are your friend. 

Jane Norman Monochrome stripe floppy hat

Vans Hawthorne Baseball Hat

Wide Brimmed Crochet Floppy Hat

Also, ignore other guides because one time, I looked up what type of hat I should be wearing, and a website for a fashion magazine which shall remain unnamed said this: 

Oh yeah, just let me go get my hat on and I'll start robbing people with my Merry Men.

Anyway, are you a hat-wearer or are you like "Um, no thanks." 

What I Wore: Two Trick Pony

So I bought this cardigan last September, thinking it would be my favorite cardi in the world because it had leather inserts and we all know how much I enjoy leather. When I got it, I realized that literally the only thing it really went with was a white tank top. So I wore it like that all winter long and last week I went to pull it out of my closet and was like "NO I SHALL NOT WEAR YOU WITH A TANK  TOP TODAY!"

Commence musical montage where I try it on with every piece of clothing I own.

I finally found a match with my favorite camp shirt, so hallelujah, my leather cardigan is a one trick pony no more.

Also this is what I do with my time.

Shirt: H&M (similar) (cheap!) (plus)

Cardigan: Target and I can't find it anywhere. Enjoy these other cardigans with leather accents here, here, here, and here.

Jeans: Calvin Klein Powerstretch (here and there is nothing similar because these are the best)

Boots: Frye (here) (similar)

Bracelets/Watch: Local boutique, Gucci, Marc Jacobs and my mama. 

I'm feeling so accomplished for finally finding another way to wear my cardigan. I should pretty much just take the day off, right?