Freaky Friday

Yay! It's time for the first Freaky Friday in eons. Yes, eons. I exaggerate a lot. Like 500 times a day.

 Robin reported that she saw someone wearing these in REAL LIFE and I just hope that it was at Ariel's Grotto because that's the only place these would be kind of appropriate. And even then, I feel like actor Ariel won't want to take pictures with you because you seem like kind of a rabid "Sign my boob" type of fan.

 Oh, this looks comfy. And not sweaty at all.

 Please tell my I'm not the only one who envisions walking around in this skirt, swooshing it when entering any room and playing background music. 

I am? Let's move along then.

PS This was a JUNIORS skirt. What teenager wants to wear this? She scares me. 

 Oh, good I've been look for a dress where I have to wear an entirely different outfit underneath.

 Bequi said she was idly searching for sexy Disney costumes on Amazon the other day and came across a sexy Aristocats outfit. I decided to do the same and came up with sexy Pinocchio and I really don't know which is worse. 

 Dawn sent me this. And when I read about an ice cream sundae dress, I didn't expect it to be 

so... sad. And droopy. And like it needed a better bra. 

 I usually feel like wedges are a lot like pizza. Even when they're bad, they're still pretty good. But these are just like, the equivalent of a Little Ceasars pizza that has been sitting in a hot parking lot for a couple of days.

 I saw another blogger post that plaid rompers made her excited for fall. So I Googled plaid rompers. Wanna know what I found? 

BABIES. 

Guys, if the most common demographic of your favorite fall outfit are small people who poop in their pants, I suggest choosing a new fad to fawn over. Just a suggestion. Of course, this jumpsuit kind of looks like there's a diaper involved anyway, so maybe I'm wrong.

This is totally a Walk of Shame dress. Like, it was laying on the floor all night long, but you didn't want to look like a sad party girl, so you put it over jeans to make it more day appropriate. It's not.

Well, that felt good! I missed snarking on bad clothes! As always, send me heinousness when you see it. Now, I have to go clean my boat for a trip out tomorrow. It kind of smells like fish guts and Twizzlers. Happy Friday!

Accessorizing in the Summer

First off, Happy Pioneer Day to my Utahns! I'm a transplant and have absolutely no pioneer heritage whatsoever, but I appreciate the day off and the fireworks, so WOO! Of course, I played a couple of hours of volleyball and worked out last night for the first time since my trip and I am FEELING it today. So I will be watching fireworks with Advil and an orthopedic pillow.

Utah is funny because each little town has their own celebration -- even my tiny town of 2,000. That means there's always some festival going on, usually with vendors, tons of food and entertainment. But the heat -- OH THE HEAT -- makes a lot of these unbearable. This year, I've gone to four of the various city festivals in my area and I have one more planned, so I've had to learn to dress accordingly.

The thing about summer dressing is that you want as little as possible, right? So I find that a lot of times, it's like a top, shorts and flip flops and I'm done. Accessorizing in the summer sucks because everything is just an extra layer and makes you hotter, like the time a couple weeks ago I decided to wear a cute summer scarf and it ended up drenched. I know you wanted to know that.

So here are some ideas to accessorize this summer without wanting to jump into a vat of ice cubes. Even though that sounds really nice right now.

Get a Pedi

For reals, people! It's so easy to look cute and it doesn't make you feel one degree hotter. Except for that time I had a pedi and I got a chemical burn. But if you do it yourself, it's fine. Lately, I've been painting my toes and then doing a couple layers of chunky glitter near the top like this. It's cute, simple and sticks around forever. Plus, you can do your pedi when you catch up on DVRed episodes of Real Housewives of OC, not that I do that or anything.

Wear Honkin' Huge Earrings

I love necklaces, but let's face it -- sweat city when you're in the sun, amiright? I have the world's most sensitive nose and I hate the smell of like, sweaty metal. Ooh, that sounds like a rock band! Anyway, I default to big, light earrings in the summer. I find that those made of wire and hammered materials weigh the least, like so:

R.J. Graziano Turquoise Drop Hammered Earrings

Go for a Hat

I'm definitely a hat girl -- it's the tomboy in me. I tend to wear military or ball-style hats, but basically any topper works. Especially if you can rock a floppy straw hat because that makes me jealous. Just don't wear a trucker hat with your bikini because you';re not Tara Reid (thank goodness). Anyway, hats keep the sun off of your face, especially if you once had skin cancer on your nose and swore to your doctor you'd never get another nose sunburn ever again. Aaaand they're cute. Win!

Cov-Ver Y

Wear Your Hair Up

This is a no-brainer, but you don't have to wear a ton of accessories if your hair is your accessory. Wear your hair up and then try using a cute headband or ribbon to accessorize. I love doing a big, fat top bun and then wearing glammy sunglasses or doing a side braid with messy pieces. Bonus points: You can get away with not washing your hair. Check out my Pinterest hair and makeup board for more ideas.

Air Out

OK, so I love wedges but they can get all slidey and gross when it's hot. So go for a flat, strappy sandal that keep your feet totally cool, but look for ones with bright colors or interesting details. These ones are also cheap, so yay!

Women's Mossimo® Watson Flat Strappy Sandal - Green

Choose One

If you're feeling totally naked without all of your accessories, just go with one super impactful one. That way you're not like, jangling your 10 bracelets around swimming lessons. That's annoying. La Mer wrap watches have a ton of visual impact while still being just one piece. Slap it on and you're put together.

La Mer - Joshua Tree (Eggshell/Rose Gold) - Jewelry

Wear a Scarf Literally Anywhere but Your Neck

Sure, everyone is like "Ooh, wear a summer scarf, they're so light!" But those people have never wrangled kids in 105-degree weather and can bite me. I love me a summer scarf, you know I do. But not when it's this hot out. So when I'm wishing for my H&M teal leopard print scarf, I tie it on my purse instead. That way it's part of the outfit without actually touching me and honestly, as a mom all I want is like five minutes where someone isn't TOUCHING ME.

Get Nekkid

No, don't strip off your clothes and head outside, no matter how hot it is. Unless you live in a nudist colony. But why would you be reading a style blog then? I have deep thoughts. If it's really sweaty out, skip the accessories altogether. Go for like, a brightly colored summer dress or ditch your usual solid tee for a graphic one instead. Done!


What's your fave way to wear accessories when it's hot? Or do you just not leave your house? I can deal with that too.

What I Wore: Old-Fashioned

So, I was shopping over the weekend (yes, I know) and I didn't find a ton that I loved. Like, I know that flowy and mint and coral and chevron is all so hot right now but  I"m starting to feel like EVERYTHING is the same. So I came home and decided to kick it old school with structured fabrics and primary colors instead. Does that count as old-fashioned yet?

Dress: Romy (I think it's a regional store) (similar) (this one too!)

Shirt: H&M (how cute is this?) (pretty much the same shirt)

Wedges: Nine West (obsessed) (cute!) (lower heel if that's what you're into)

Necklace: Plunder (here!) They're a local company and I heart them.

Ring, Bracelet: F21

The only thing I ended up buying was the necklace. Hey, I love mint and coral as much as the next girl, but I'm more of a fall person. I found myself whining about the heat the other day just for the fact that it prevented me from wearing blazers and leather jackets. Oh, how I miss them. First world problems all day. 

What do you guys think about the coral/mind/floral/lavender/mustard/chevron explosion? Yay or nay? 

I Went on Vacation and All You Got Was This Lousy Blog Post

Didja miss me? I kind of missed blogging while I was off playing on the beach. There were tons of things that were Freaky Friday worthy ie: the roughly 6,000 bikini/trucker hat combos I saw. Seriously, can that just die already?

So, wanna see some pics from my week in Maui? I promise some are fashion-related. Ish.

When we first got there, we were mostly just excited to be out of the ugliest airport known to man -- sorry, OGG.

Here Justin is, contemplating all of the money I spent on snack boxes on the plane. 

I LOVE SNACK BOXES. 

...and room service, especially when it brings me delicious fish and shrimp.

Time difference = me waking up at 3am. It was 7am Utah time. This calls for an early morning DP!

 

Also: Early morning selfies. Seriously, it was like 6am here. 

Justin: Ew, we look like one of those couples that people hate.
Me: Yessssssss. 

 

Sand, why you so sticky?

My entire goal for the trip: Swim with a sea turtle. I did and it was as big as my couch. I can die now. 

Poolside milkshakes. The bartender LOVED me being the only person over the age of 21 who ordered milkshakes.

This was at a souvenir shop. I don't even.

I will never be satisfied with a normal sunset ever again.

Marry me, mango cheesecake. I know what you're thinking -- did Jae do anything other than eat and tan? And the answer is no. No I did not.

 Justin got the world's best sunburn when I sprayed sunscreen in an 's' motion once on his back before snorkeling. It was like he was a superhero for the rest of the trip!

Resort love!

Sometimes I swim under waterfalls and whatnot. 

 And then hang on for dear life when I get tired.

Hiking during a stop along the Road to Hana. SO GLAD I invested in some good flip flops before doing this. Reefs for life!

 Banana bread stop! And no, I am not naked in this picture. While I hardly wore pants all week long, I did try my best to wear swimsuit bottoms. Also, check out that tan!

 I put on pants to check out these botanical gardens and ended up looking like a dolphin trainer.

 But it was one of my fave parts of the trip anyway. Hi, perfect blue lagoon. 

Free Country sent me this adorable swimsuit to wear on my trip. It was perfect for covering up, but not feeling like a total nun. Plus, leopard print? I die. They sold out of the top I have, but this was my second fave!

 I also bought a bunch of short dresses that I wore as swimsuit coverups for dinner. Here's one of my faves in the exotic bird garden at our hotel. The flamingos would just nonchalantly walk up to me and cause me a minor heart attack.I look cool here but I'm really screaming inside and thinking of "The Birds"

 Le sigh. Bye vacation.

 In the end, it was pretty much everything I wanted out of our 10th anniversary. We got to celebrate the fact that we haven't killed each other for the insurance money yet, eat a lot of food, swim with turtles and see what was basically the entire cast of Finding Nemo while exploring the island. OK, I missed my kids a little bit -- but I don't think they missed us much.

Alright, regular posting should resume next week. I'm still recovering -- I *gasp* slept in until almost 9 am this morning and woke up to my son whining that he was bored. I guess normal life is pretty great too.

What I Wore: Mixed Up

OK, so posting is probably going to be a bit wonky for the next week and a half. I have three days to pack for me and my husband, pack my kids for their week-long stay at the grandparent's house, buy a bunch of random stuff that needs to be bought, gather up various travel docs, sync my iPhone (OH HOW I HATE IT), actually get some work done and try and sneak in a night of volunteering too. Did I mention my husband started a new job today? Well, he did. So I'm also spending the day sending him various files to get his new office set up. I am overwhelmed to that point where you get excited that you'll be stuck on a plane for six hours just so nobody can ask you for anything and you can laugh over the pet stairs in SkyMall.

So yeah. I'll post when I can. And I can right now, huzzah!

 Top: Paper Doll (love this for plus size) (similar) (cheap!)

Jeans: Liverpool (in red!)

Shoes: Tilly's (LOVE these) (drool)

Earrings: F21(similar)

Watch: XOXO (similar)

Bracelets: From husband, local boutique 

Clutch: Coach (here) (cheaper and cute!)

I love the lace pattern on these jeans but I love it even more with another pattern. It was just like a pattern match made in heaven, people.

What's that? You want a close-up? Sure.

When I first bought these pants it was totally on a whim. Patterned jeans can be so iffy -- I like one that is subdued like this lacy pattern. From far away, you can barely tell that they're lacy, unlike some patterned jeans -- I"m looking at you, whatever the heck this is. Paired with an equally busy patterned top and the look is dressier than your usual jeans and tee scenario, so that's a win.

OK, it's back to work and laundry for me. Yes, be jealous of my glamorous lifestyle.

8 Ways to Feel More Confident in a Swimsuit

(I heart my pink ruffled swimsuit and not caring!)

I've spent A LOT of time in the swimsuit fitting room lately. The Mr. and I are headed to Maui next week for the birthaversary and I wanted some new suits. I've bought three in the last week which might be a little out of control. Also, I got this epic sunburn from a day at the reservoir from my strappy one-piece. Don't worry, it's only turned into the world's worst tan line. I'll be hanging at the pool trying to get rid of it today.

Anyway, I was thinking about swimsuits in general. Love 'em or hate 'em, summer means you have to wear 'em. I feel pretty confident in my swimsuits but there are days where I just want to hide and wear a snowsuit to the pool, especially after I look at Jessica Biel. So I've gathered up some tips to feel more confident in your swimsuit so you fear the pool no more. Honestly, it's too hot to worry about how you look.

1) Get a tan. Not a real one. Hello, that's dangerous. But a fake tan? Yeah, it definitely makes me feel more comfortable in a swimsuit because it camouflages some imperfections that I don't like -- like the scar I have on my belly from being burned by a bad monitor in the hospital. Yeah that happened. I use Jergen's Natural Glow because I'm too spazzy to do a one-shot tanner, but I will get a Mystic Tan on occasion.

2) Be nice to yourself. Guess what? Your body has been through a lot, especially if you have tiny humans following you around as a result. It's time to be nice to yourself -- like, the kind of nice you are to your friend when she wears a cute new suit. I gained a size with each pregnancy and it took a while to realize that I'm not 17 and will never look 17 again. 17 year old Jae had freakishly elastic skin. Not gonna happen again. So I've learned to be nice and recognize that I still have to give my bod credit.

3) Slap on some mascara. I won't go to the pool fully made up with perfect hair, but I will put on some waterproof mascara (I'm using waterproof L'Oreal Voluminous Million Lashes lately) and make some sort of effort with my hair -- usually a side-braid or beachy waves aka not blowdrying my hair and using mousse. Call me shallow (because I totally am) but it makes me feel pretty.

4) Quit looking at everyone else. I think -- as women -- we have the tendency to size up every other woman at the beach. You know who doesn't do that? GUYS. Because they don't care one bit. Women, on the other hand, are busy comparing cellulite and creating some sort of sick scale, gauging where they fall on the measure of bathing suit hotness themselves. I know because I've done it. In the past few years though, I've learned to not compare myself to other people in swimsuits. Some are bigger, some are smaller but we all feel pretty darn vulnerable in swimwear. Nowadays, I keep to myself.

5) Wear what you love. I kind of hate arguments like "You should wear a modest bathing suit because men will think dirty thoughts," "Chubby? Wear that full piece like it's your job" and "No boobs? Wear a swimsuit with lots of interest at the bust." How about this one? "WEAR WHAT YOU WANT." I don't discriminate when it comes to swimwear. If you try it on, feel good in it, then wear it. One-piece, two-piece, bikini, dress for YOU and no one else.

6) Sneak in a workout. This is completely mental, of course. Going for a run one time before you hit the beach isn't going to change the way your body looks. But I know I always feel better in a swimsuit after I've made an effort.

7) Stand up. Please. Posture will seriously help the way you feel in your swimsuit -- and make it less obvious to everyone else that you'd rather just crawl into a hole and die. Head up, shoulders back, abs engaged. Do it.

8) Remember who/what you're wearing a swimsuit for. Look guys, you're not competing for Miss America here. You're taking your kids to the pool. You don't have to look perfect. There's no judge awarding points and no reward for being the skinniest person at the pool. Hiding on the sidelines because you aren't "beach ready" just means a lot of sweat and your kids missing out on having you get your splash on. Yes I just said that. But you know what I mean. Swimsuits are simply devices that allow that to happen.

I saw this graphic circulating on Pinterest. Mind the language, but I thought it was pretty funny/truthful.

BOOM. 

Repeat after me: It's just a swimsuit. It does not define your value as a person/level of hotness/your entire belief system. The sooner you learn that, the easier it is to suit up, head to the pool and float around in all of your confident glory.

What I Wore: Heat Wave

You guys, I'm sorry all of my outfit posts are in dresses and skirts, but the West is in the middle of an actual heat wave -- I think Friday was up in the 105's and that's gross. So I've been living in skirts and sandals because I can't even wear heels right now. They do that sweaty thing where your foot slides to the front of the shoe and it hurts. Aren't you glad I gave you that visual on a Monday morning?

 Chambray: Streetwear Society (similar)
Skirt: Olsenboye (love this one) (cheaper) (obsessed with this color)

Shoes: Bamboo (here in different colors) (close second!)
Necklace: Nordstrom (victorian-style) (black necklaces FTW!) (buy this for me?)

Seriously, that's it. Four pieces and I'm maxed out when it's that hot outside. I also love that when you wear gem-my shoes and a necklace, you don't need any other bells and whistles. Plus wearing bells and whistles would be weird.

Also, tulle-y skirts are the best for the heat. This one was so flowy and lovely and I didn't want to peel my skin off when wearing it outside. WIN.

Are you guys all melting where you are too? I had a big Canada Day celebration planned with my Canuck friends and my daughter woke up with a fever. Sooo plans are scrapped in favor of air conditioning and movies today. But happy Canada Day to my friends in the North anyway. I shall eat some poutine to honor the special occasion because I'm festive like that.