An Attitude of Gratitude

So, even though I'm Canadian and Thanksgiving was last month, we didn't get to celebrate it because it was crazy busy in these parts and so I resolved to celebrate extra hard for American Thanksgiving. Also, a couple nights ago I badgered my mom into having a pseudo Christmas dinner when I'm back home in a couple of weeks, so the turkey ratio totally checks out! YES!

Anyway, I thought I'd talk about some of the things that I'm thankful for. I am aware that Thanksgiving is next week, but next week we'll talk outfits and then I'll be all preoccupied for Black Friday, so today is better.

Just so you know, I AM grateful for friends, family, my house, blah blah blah. But I am also thankful for shiny and pretty things, which is what this post is dedicated to. Ah, shopping!

Without further ado:

Jae's List of Pretty Things She's Thankful For

I'm thankful for: Leather jackets. I think, by now, we understand that they are my weakness, yes? This one from Debenham's is well-cut and the brown is gorgeous. Really. I must have. Add it to the collection.


Pretty bags that are large enough to get my wallet, lip balms, wipes case, spare diaper, two pairs of sunglasses plus one pair of regular glasses, roughly 1,233 receipts and various gift cards, a book and my Nintendo DS without having to say "Petunia Picklebottom" on it. How about Vitalio Vera instead?

Pretty, ruffled scarves that match anything and pretty up even my furry cargo parka. Plus, with a little v-neck sweater? Die of cuteness overload. (Lori's Shoes)


Uber prim-looking headbands work with messy second-day hair. So easy! (Tilly's)


Peacock anything. I have this exact necklace from Forever 21, and I love to wear it with a white tunic, skinny jeans and my Fryes. Accesories? DONE. K, now I actually want to wear it today.


PENCIL SKIRTS! I have been coveting this one from Arden B for a month now. I just sent it to my husband for my Christmas list. But in general, there is nothing I like more than a vintage, ladylike silhouette. Hips do not lie. At least that's what Shakira told me, and she's pretty dependable in general.


Trench coats match anything. It's a fact. And this one is only $23 from Tilly's and I love army green. I think it comes in black and cream too. Either way, it's the perfect topper for anything; dress, skirt, jeans, you name it. Look for one that grazes the hips.


Bows and pearls. I've purchased three sets of bow earrings and pearl earrings and I love how sophisticated they look, even when I'm just wearing them with a tank top and cardigan. Adorable! (Betsey Johnson, who I don't usually like... but I like these!)


Tights. I so very much love winter and how awesome tights are with winter. These ones with the bows? Squee! (ModCloth... I also featured them last week.)

Soft, slouchy boots and the banishment of heels until springtime. I love boots because they look dressy even when you're shlubbing it in jeans and a sweater. It's so easy to look put together with expensive-looking boots (BTW, these ones are under $50 from Wild Diva)

I am loving the transition to winter! I'll confess, I listened to Christmas music one evening while it was snowing, but I have since reined myself in. Now I plan to start Christmas prep on Saturday. Sorry, Thanksgiving, but you're too late in the year and I'm having pretend Christmas the first week of December.

Anybody else want to chime in on something you're thankful for?

10 Minute Workout

OK, you have all heard of the 20 minute Workout that was a big hit in the 80's right? Maybe not. If you are not in your mid to late 30's you may have no idea what I'm talking about. Well I was pretty young when it came out, but I do remember the craze that it brought.

Full piece body suits with leg warmers. It still makes me laugh. But the concept was brilliant. Do your exercise in 20 minutes. Now I don't want to ever see anyone doing a leg lift on your side or swinging your arms across your body, but what I am going to do is give you a workout that burns calories, is more effective and can be done in only 10-20 minutes!!

First, you want to do a quick warm up, depending on where you are, you can go up and down your stairs, or walk around the park or down your street. This is a really simple, yet totally effective workout, that you can actually keep repeating until you've had enough. Do it for at least 10 minutes if you can.

Once you have warmed up, you are going to complete 3 sets of exercises with a run in between each one. It looks like this:

Block 1:
10 push ups-on your knees or toes
10 squats
10 jumping jacks
Run as fast as you can for about 80 feet (about the length of a public swimming pool) and then back.

When you get back go right into your next block which is:

Block 2:
10 Mountain Climbers-go down into a push up position as if you were doing them on your toes. Bring in one knee at a time to your chest. Now hop them in and out as if you were running.
10 Star Jacks-Again, stay on your hands and toes. Take your feet and at the same time hop them both out so your legs are apart, now hop them back together again. Speed that up and do 10 of them.
10 Crunches
Run as fast as you can

Block 3:
10 twists- Go on your hands and toes keeping your bum down. Rotate and lift one arm up towards the ceiling looking up at your hand as you do that. Switch sides. Keep rotating until you have completed 10. You can also do this on your knees if you need to.
10 lunges-alternate them
10 bicycles-lie on your back and extend your legs out one at a time. Now take your hands and put them to your ears and twist to touch your elbow to the opposite knee always rotating with the legs.
Run as fast as you can.

Repeat this 2-4 times.

You will not only get a get total body workout, you will get in your cardio and burn tons of calories.

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.bestfitbodybootcamp.com

Mascaraaaaaa!

K, when I wrote the title of the post, I was saying it in my head like Oprah. As in, "Everyone is getting my favorite mascaraaaaaaaa on the Oprah's Favorite Things Show!" but I don't think it translates as well on Blogger. Boo.

Also, I need to point out that while this is a product post, I have not been compensated for any of my opinions here in. Fight the man! I won't do my girls like that!

Anyway, so I have a story. I will admit that I am happy to spend money on certain pieces of makeup when I know that they work well. I am completely brand loyal to Bare Minerals for foundation and brand loyal to Christian Dior for mascara. Period. While it's a little pricier than your drugstore stuff, I'm happy with it and I love it and I'll never change.

Except.... in September I went home to Canada right? So I get everything packed. Remember, I do this a lot so I feel like I've really streamlined my packing process. Usually, the night before, I lay out the clothes I'll wear in the morning, because I prefer very early flights. Then I pack all of my makeup, leaving out only the bare essentials. In the morning, I shower, do my hair and makeup and then throw it all in my suitcase in a giant Ziploc. Well, this last trip my parents came to pick me and my little family up from the airport, and driving home, a mere eight hours from when I left my house, I realized I'd forgotten EVERYTHING. Like, all of my makeup, hair stuff, the works.

You guys, it was so sad.

I gasped like we'd run over a puppy and scared the life out of my dad. Normally, forgetting all of my beautifying toiletries wouldn't be so horrible. But the reason for my going home was that one of my brothers was moving to England for two years, and the other was moving to Botswana for a year, and there was going to be parties. Lots and lots of parties. I was going to see people that I hadn't seen in years, and there was no way in Hades that I was going to go au natural. It was neither the time, nor the place.

So, the first day I was there, I had to go to the drugstore and buy ALL new makeup. And it put me in a very bad mood. I was so very ticked off that I had very good, designer makeup at home, and there I was with a tube of Great Lash, you know. Anyway, I lamented the whole time, and when I got home I gave my makeup bag a little kiss and promised it would never happen again. My "new" makeup was relegated to my vanity drawer.

But now I find myself digging it out every now and again. Sure, my drugstore mascara doesn't give me the long, Minnie Mouse eyelashes that I long for and achieve with my CD, but it's awesome for everyday. So I decided to do a great mascara face off of 2010.

The contenders??


In this corner, we have E.L.F's Duo Mascara for a mere $1!



Over here? L'oreal's Voluminous Million Lashes weighing in at $8!


The contender, Diorshow in Blackout - Jae's fave for $24!


Does she even need an introduction? Maybelline's Great Lash for around five bucks!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ooooooooooooh! *Chair slam!* OK, I watched a little too much WWF with my brothers when we were kids. They had the wrestling ring and everything, and when we went on road trips they would convince my parents to bring it. It was like two feet across, I swear. I just liked flinging wrstlers around with the elastic ropes.

But I digress. Like, worst digression EVER.

Anyway, here I go, weighing in on mascaraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

E.L.F. Duo Mascara:
This is the type that I bought to replace my mascara in Canada. Honestly, I picked the cheapest I could find (hello, its $1!) because I had a $24 mascara at home and I was annoyed. While I wasn't blown away by this little baby, I didn't hate it either. It went on smooth, and the smaller brush was a nice break from the fat brush that comes with Diorshow. It got the little tiny lashes that I usually ignore completely. It made for a nice stand in and I still use it for everyday running around or to keep in my purse.

L'oreal's Voluminous Million Lashes:
K, first of all, this mascara WILL NOT win for catchiest name. I can never remember what it's called. Millions of Lashes? Lash Millionaire? Oh screw it, it's the one in the gold tube. I bought this because I'd heard such amazing things about this mascara and I wanted to see for myself. My husband gets very annoyed when I do such things. Anyway, I really like it. It's a really good drugstore alternative to department store brands, and it fattens up lashes while separating, making it a good jack of all trades. I highly recommend.

Diorshow Blackout:
Alright, it's no secret that I love and admire this mascara. Again, I'm fairly obsessed with mascara, and when I don't wear makeup, I always swipe a little on. When I finally got up the nerve to go sit down in the Dior makeup chair and have the makeup girl fuss over me, I fell in love. Not with the girl, because I'm not Katy Perry like that, but with the mascara. It gives me massive lashes. My lashes are fairly long, so I always value volume over lengthening. This stuff is amazing. Two coats makes me look like I'm wearing falsies, no joke. Also, it smells good. Random, right? If you've got an extra $25 laying around, I highly recommend. Plus, one tube lasts around three months. Good investment.

Great Lash:
K, so I keep a tube of Great Lash around just out of pure principle. It is a really good, basic mascara. If you're new to the whole makeup thing, Great Lash is a really good place to start. The first thing I do when I open up my Great Lash is bend the brush to a 90 degree angle. That way, when I apply, I'm going in an upward stroke and I find I get better length and definition. This is another one I reach for when I don't want to go all out with my Dior. My only gripe is that it can get a little clumpy, so a lash comb is a must if you're planning on more than one coat.

So, I don't think there's one clear winner, because the reason you use mascara may be totally different from what I look for in a tube (instant showgirl quality lashes, yes please) The trick is to go somewhere you can test a few different formulas out. Even if you purchase from a drugstore, most places like Walgreens and CVS will allow you to return it, even if it's the wrong color. You may only get store credit, but it's just license to try another brand. And when you find your perfect fit, don't ever let it go. Don't make the same mistake I did and leave your precious mascara lying dormant on your vanity for an entire week.

I swear I heard it whimper when I got home.

Or was that me?

Freaky Friday: Fun With Keywords!

It's that time again! Yes, it's that time when I go through my keyword analysis and look up all the weird ways the general public finds my blog. I love checking that thing.

-"Subtly encourage your husband to exercise more."

I feel like I'm not the right person to answer this, Kelly should. But all the same, I recommend this approach. "So... hun? Remember when you weren't fat? Yeah, that was nice." Too harsh? I don't know. My husband is 160 soaking wet. This is new for me.

-"What to wear for maternity photos."

How about something like this?

...and by "this" I mean a Goodyear tire. (AwkwardFamilyPhotos, of course)

-(Typed exactly as I got it) "HOW TO WEAR" "TROUSER JEANS"

Probably with a "SHIRT" and "CARDIGAN" with "CUTE HEELS."

-"Mommy has knockers"

Yeah, that's because mommy is supporting life with her knockers. I know it's hard to process, but those fun bags are not just for playtime.

-"Can I wear capris to a summer wedding?"

I hate you.

"Payless Frye knockoffs."

So this is ACTUALLY a good keyword search. My sister in law just picked up a pair of these boots and I couldn't believe how close they looked to the real thing. Check it out:

These are the authentic Frye 12R's, otherwise known as my third child.

Here's the Payless version:

Not bad right? I mean, of course they won't wear the same as the Frye's, but unless you're actually working on a farm, it's probably OK. And then there's the matter of saving $200.

OK! Friday time! I'm off to do some damage at the Nordstom half yearly sale. DOUBLE POINTS for my card woo hoo. Only 6,000 more points and I get a bottle of nail polish or a Kleenex or something. Anyone else have shopping related plans this weekend? I'm on the hunt for cute tights!

Burn Fat Fast

OK, it's the day after Halloween. How did you do? Did you stay away from the candy? No. Well I'm going to give you a couple of the best fat burning workouts to burn it all off.

Before we get into the exercises, the first thing you need to do is to commit yourself to no more chocolate. (or chips, or starbursts, or fuzzy peaches etc.) They will NOT help you burn calories, and they will certainly not help you lose weight. So start right now by telling yourself you are simply not going to have any, or if it helps get them out of sight, so at least you are not tempted every time you go into the kitchen.

Alright, now for the exercises. The following are in my opinion some of the very best for burning fat. I am going to give you the best cardio workout ever to burn fat (in my opinion), but you can't skip your weights. You will burn more calories over the long run by sticking to your weight program, so make sure you get it in.

Don't worry though, these workouts are super short and super effective, so you can do it in 20 mins. How's that for time crunching!

First let's start with your weight program. I would highly suggest you doing this 3 times a week. Let's say Mon/Wed/Fri. All you need is 20 min. I know you can find 20 min.

Start with a warm up. If you are inside, you can walk up and down your stairs for a few minutes. If you are outside, just walk and get the blood flowing.

Next, find a spot with some room. You will need a pair of dumbbells, or tubing that you can do bicep curls with. These are both inexpensive. If you don't have either, you can use laundry soap (the one that's in a plastic container with a handle).

1. Push ups. You can do these on your toes, or if you are just starting out on your knees. Make sure you keep your bum down. Do 10 reps.

2. Get up and do Jumping jacks- 7 times

3. Quick Squats- 10 reps

4. Jumping Jacks-7 times

5. Bicep Curls-10 reps

6. Jumping Jacks-7 times

The trick with these exercises is not to rest in between. When you are done the last set of jacks, get a drink and do it again. When you start your third time you will do the following.

1. Push ups- 10 reps

2. Knees up. This is where you will stand tall and bring one knee up towards your chest at a time, now pretend you are running it. Do this for 8 reps, each knee up is 1 rep. Oh and you do this as fast as you can.

3. Squat with a bicep curl. As you squat, keep the weight down beside your legs, as you stand up lift the weights up towards your chest as you curl. Do this 10 times.

4. Knees Up- 8 reps

5. Tricep Dips. This can be done on a stair, coffee table or curb. Face away from it, keeping your back close to the solid object you are using. Your hands are pointing towards your back but are pretty close together. Bend your elbows to lower your body slightly and then push back up again. do 10 reps.

6. Knees Up- do 8 reps

7. Crunches- 20 reps

8. Bicycles (abs)-20 reps

Stretch for a few minutes. You just had a really great workout! And burned a ton of calories.

For the cardio part of your workout this week, you can run, walk, bike, go on a treadmill, elliptical or whatever you like to do. Again, this takes only 20 mins. from start to finish. I know I posted this before, but it's my favourite, I didn't come up with it but I love it and I know it works.

This is something you can do 3 times a week as well, lets say Tues/Thurs/Sat. You can do this because you are only working out for 20 minutes each time.

Min. Intensity
1....... 5-warm up
2.......5
3.......6
4.......7
5.......8
6.......9
7 .......6
8 .......7
9....... 8
10..... 9
11...... 6
12...... 7
13...... 8
14...... 9
15...... 6
16...... 7
17...... 8
18...... 9
19..... 10-maximum
20..... 5-cool down

This is something that might take a little practice. Sometimes it's easier to start backwards. Down at minute 19, you see you are doing your max. So you would be sprinting if you were running. 9 is going to still be pretty fast. So you can see how you would increase your speed, verses your incline if you are on treadmill. Give it a try it's the best!

These 2 workouts are super fast, yet they will burn off any extra calories consumed over the weekend. Remember to commit from this point on, that you will eat clean, and no more sugar, add these workouts to your schedule and you will be great.

Committed to your fitness success,
Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

In General...

I feel like when I look at this picture and all I can think of is "I wonder where Anderson Cooper got his sweater," that maybe Lady Gaga is losing her touch.

Yes, I am baiting her.

Tell me though, aside from the ridiculous lobster claw heels, does she not look downright demure?

(PS, this years creepiest sexy costumes on Friday. Commence dying of excitement..... NOW!)

Mama Fit Monday: Exercise For Large Bodies

Whether you inherited your large body, or made poor choices regarding nutrition and excuses for not exercising, or you may have had an injury that prevented you from exercising, now is the time to stop using how big you are as an excuse for not exercising.

It doesn't matter whether you have 50 pounds or 100 pounds to lose, the principles are the same.

First, go to your doctor. There you will receive a solid baseline of your health. You will find out what your blood pressure is, what your weight is and other tests they may want to run. It gives you a starting point. Let them know your intentions and get an okay to start a program.

Second, Don't delay your exercise program. For some of you the start may be in a chair. It my hard work just lifting your arms and legs. Start by alternating leg lifts 10 on each side. Then lift your arms straight up 10 times. Do this 3 times a week.

For those of you who are more mobile but have aching knees and joints, you have a couple of options. First, the pool. If you have access, hit the water. Swimming is a great way to get some exercise. You use your major muscle groups and can work up a good cardio workout.

Do not use your size as an excuse. When you start an exercise program, I will not lie to you, you will be sore, your joints may be sore but with perseverance and consistency you will start to see a difference and you will start to feel better.

Take Mary for example (I have changed her name for privacy), she told me she wanted to lose 80 pounds. When she started 8 weeks ago she felt self conscious, her knees ached among other joints and she didn't know the exercises. I worked with her, and encouraged her with the exercises. I always showed her modifications and she never quite.

I also worked with her on her nutrition. I asked her to cut out the sugar, drink more water and eat small regular meals throughout the day. Her first week she lost 6 pounds, and each week after that she loses anywhere from 3-6 pounds. She already needed to buy new exercises wear, because her old ones were falling off of her. I am so proud of her and if she can do it, I know you can too.

Mary is not letting her size get in the way. She has stopped making excuses and is doing something about it. Whether you need to lose 50 or 100 pounds like I said earlier, the principles are the same. 1) exercise 3-4 days a week with weights, 2) practice clean eating: cut the sugar (sugar is in everything so read your labels diligently) 3) If you can add some cardio

If you do these things, and are consistent I promise you too will be on your way to buying a new wardrobe . Not only will you look and feel better on the outside but on the inside I'm sure you will see the many benefits, one being lower cholesterol, and reduced risk of heart disease. Some of you may even come off certain medications. There are so many benefits of being healthy.

Don't let your body dictate your health anymore. Take control and take action. Do it today.

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

Judge Away!

So no Freaky Friday today, I just got our family pictures back and want to show them instead. SO VAIN, I probably think this post is about me.

Anyway, I did want to show you that family pictures don't have to be so matchy matchy. We all dressed differently, but I think it turned out very cohesive. Also, I chose to dress us in the colors of our house, so that when I hang these up, they match my decor. Most of the paint colors in our house are tan and a green so dark it's almost black. Then I have a red wingback chair that I like to try and match too. Hence the colors I used in pictures. (Click on the pics for the better versions. The small ones in blogger kinda suck)



Aww this doesn't show colors so well, but it shoes that our clothes did translate nicely into black and white. Oh, and the fact that I made my husband wear his jacket so I could wear my new leather lovely. Also, heels were a good call because my husband is actually 8 inches taller than me in real life.


Me and the kids. So candid! lol. I really do like how the red pops on the natural elements of the pictures. Always a solid choice.


Aww, le family. I think having my daughter wear something other than jeans broke up the whole denim pattern and I highly recommend it. Unless you only have boys. Because that would make for some epensive therapy.


Yay look at us! My shirt was actually dark green but you can't really tell. I just didn't want my husband to feel left out wearing green. I'm nice like that.



Oh so casual.


So, I'd like to think all of the time I put into thinking about picture outfits has paid off for me in the end. I'm totally happy with the colors and how everything turned out. See? I practice what I preach!

Fall Sweaters on the Cheap

Hopefully the weather has turned crispy where you live. Here in the deserts of Utah, it's finally starting to cool off. I crave the days of fall and lately I've been thinking about Christmas WAY too much lately. Kinda hard when it's 80 out. BUT! The weatherman promises me 60s weather this week, so I am dreaming about and surfing around for sweaters.

I love to layer. Summer clothes don't do much for me, but oh how I love a drapey cardigan or a cute hoodie. They just seem warm and huggable. Although I will admit that I was sick on Monday and I took my kids to the library wearing camo thermal shirt, yoga pants and a hat jammed over my messy hair. So I scared people at the library and got germs all over the place, you're welcome. Luckily the library where I live is basically a glorified motor home and I don't think anyone minded.

But ah, yes. The sweater. I already bought two to kick off the season; a brown loose cable knit and a knit drape blazer with fabric flowers. And I've worn them both exactly once. Seriously, Utah, we get it. You're warm. Although I am excited that I won't have to stuff my kids in winter coats under their Halloween costumes. Not pointing any fingers, CANADA.

Here's a selection of sweaters to make you feel autumn-y, and as an added bonus, they're all under $50. Now go bake an apple pie and pick a pumpkin.

(Vanity - $20) If you're going to wear a hoodie, make sure it's a form-fitting one. Your husband's college sweatshirt need not apply. I love hoodies with non-hoodie patterns. Plaid? Yes please!


(Gap - $37) I am 100 percent on the lookout for a big furry sweater this year. I love this one in winter white. I rarely wear a real, live coat during the winter here because I am so used to the icy cold winters back home that sweaters and jackets are my lifesavers from December to February.


(John Lewis - $24) Orrrr I could just die of cuteness overload now. This with skinny jeans and flats and you are basically from France.


(Buckle - $34) I love the asymmetry of this cardigan. Hey, pear shaped girls! This would look awesome since it draws the eyes upward. Also, I love the masculine detail of the hunting plaid peeking through. With worn in jeans, this would be awesome for the pumpkin patch with the fam. Photo op!



(Buckle - $34) This is such a refreshing alternative to the drape cardi. I love that the color isn't traditionally fall, brown , red, mustard, yawn. Blue is awesome. The waffle knit means it won't be heavy. Imagine this with a crisp button up and wide leg jeans for a play date. I can almost smell the jealousy.



(American Eagle - $25) How cozy-looking is this. I love the longer length, which would be really cute with a white linen belt, or unzipped for warmth. I like that it's a basic hoodie, but the soft fabric and coloring makes it more elegant.


(American Eagle - $40) Short sleeved sweaters are my boyfriend. The colors on this are loverly. Wide stripes can be tricky, so wear this with something slim sitting on the bottom, like jeans tucked into boots. OR isolate the stripes by wearing with a blazer. LOVE! You might even be able to talk me into jeggings with this but don't push your luck.


(Old Navy - $30) Looking for something to wear to American Thanksgiving (yes, it is necessary for me to stipulate the nationality) Look no more. Or, if you're not weird like me and don't plan outfits up to a month in advance, wear this to lunch with your husband and look put together even if there's drool on your tank underneath.

Ahh, don't you feel comforted and fuzzy? Unfortunately, online window shopping always turns into online legitimate shopping for me, and then I feel rejected by my budget. I hate you, budget. I love you, fall sweaters.

What's your favorite thing about fall? (And OMG I had that Nick Jr song "I feel like I'm falling for fall" ALL DAY LONG TODAY.

You Are What You Eat

What you eat is probably even more important than exercise. As someone who exercises regularly is almost pains me to say that but...I do believe what you eat makes up about 80% of how you look and feel.

So what does that mean to you?

Well to put is simply, if you eat twinkies and cookies, you are going to look like twinkies and cookies.

Here is a pretty basic description of how it works in your body. A blood cell lasts 60-120 days, that's 2-4 months. In 3-4 months your whole blood supply is completely replaced. In just 6 months almost all of the proteins in your body die and are replaced. And what are they replaced with? They are constructed completely out of the nutrients that you eat.

This is why it is so important to make healthy choices part of your lifestyle. Sure you can eat well for 2 weeks, or go on some crazy diet and lose 7 pounds in a week, but it doesn't do you any good in the long run. You need to do something for at least 2 months before your blood cells are using the healthy food to renew from instead of using the "unwise, unhealthy" food it's used to getting. It takes time, you need to be patient. I know when you want to lose 10 lbs now, be patient can seem next to impossible, but trust me on this.

Slow and steady wins the race in this case.


4 Tips To Shed Pounds Forever!

1. Stop eating Processed food.
This is something you always need to be thinking about. Don't buy anything in a box or package. At first it may seem impossible, but I can assure you its not. When I first started doing this I had to really think about it, but now it comes pretty easily and I don't have to work too hard at it. (FYI, the first week I did this, I lost 6 lbs without doing anything else)

2. Cut the Sugar. This is your absolute worst enemy. Avoid it at all costs. Use honey or fruit to sweeten things.

3. Exercise. Guys, I'm going to be honest, you can't get the body you want without exercising. If you want to get rid of the muffin top, and thunder thighs then stop beating yourself up and set aside 20 minutes everyday for you. I know, I know, you are busy, you have other kids. You know what, everyone is busy, and many people have 2-3 children (some more) but what I hear is mostly excuses. I know everyone has 20 min to spare. See where you are wasting some minutes and start exercising.

4. Drink Water. Most people don't drink enough water. The first sign of this is generally mild headaches. So be sure to drink water with every meal. Your body is made up of mostly water, so it will love you for it.

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

Freaky Friday Bonus! Vintage Jae

So chatting on Facebook with my brother, because that's what I do with my Friday nights, he posted this VINTAGE family picture of my family, and I thought I'd post it for your enjoyment.




Couple things:
-This was in 1991, and I am seven years old.
-If you're thinking about sending me applications about my single brothers, Jonathan is no longer that chubby, and Ryan has a better haircut and less freckles.
-I used to have a lazy eye, which explains my disinterest in looking at the camera.
-My mom's hair WAS that epic.
-My dad's glasses WERE that large.
-My littlest brother Dallin looks like a tiny alcoholic politician with those suspenders.
-WE LOVED COLLARS.

I'd also like to point out that we're not matching, so we were clearly ahead of the pack on that one.

Freaky Friday: What Not to Wear for Family Pictures

So, I took the plunge and finally had our family pictures done yesterday. My husband and I literally hadn't had our picture taken together professionally since the day we got married over seven years ago, no joke. We're just not the "family picture type" I guess. Also, it turns out my son has an unnatural fear of photographers and hated the entire experience. I felt like a circus monkey trying to get him to smile and more often than not he was just giving the poor photographer the stink-eye. So was my husband.

Anyway, the outfits! Oh, how I stressed over the outfits! For goodness sake, I expound almost daily on the merits of dressing properly for family pictures, and I had to live up to my good name! Of course, the pictures will be coming in like two weeks or something, and I can show you what we all decided to wear. But yesterday, as I was questioning my clothing choices, I surfed on over to Awkward Family Photos and picked out things no one should ever wear for family pictures, and I suddenly felt more confident. Ahh, making fun of other people makes me happy.

So, all pictures here are from AFP, and they make me unnaturally happy.


Family photo rule etiquette #1: Bikini waxes and shiny tights are absolutely mandatory. Don't forget the leopard headband!


PROOF that matchy outfits make babies cry. Even twins. Their faces match, they don't need their shirts to match too. See the happy kid? He's happy his mom didn't dress him like the other two.


Would you laugh if I told you that me and my siblings have a picture EXACTLY like this? When I was 12, we did family pictures and for some inexcusable reason, my mom let me show up in jeans and my brother's plaid shirt with a ponytail. To this DAY everyone who sees it wonders why they didn't notice that my mom had five boys before.


I feel like this family a) has figure skating practice every Saturday and b) can be heard walking down the street about a mile away. SWISH SWISH SWISH.


Easily my brother Ryan's favorite family picture. He suggested we do it with our family, which could be awkward since I'm the only girl and subsequently, the only one who looks good in a dress. You lose, Jonathan. (OMG if you have time read my brother Jonathan's blog. He's living in Botswana and has all sorts of crazy shenanigan adventures)

(Also, as an aside... both Ryan and Jonathan are single and I am accepting applications for my future sister in law through December. Yes I look for every opportunity to pimp out my brothers. I want to go to a wedding.)


Cowboy hats? Yes. Cowboy shirts? You've got it. Creepy neck beard? Woah... you gotta earn that, son.


Only thing creepier than clowns? Child clowns. That baby wants to eat my soul, I just know it.


"Little to the left.... okay, chin up.... aaaaand here hold this spine. Perfect!"


K, I'm going to run down this conversation for you. Both people in this picture were clothed previously.

Photographer: OK, Sally, do you want to get a few belly shots?
Sally: Sure!
Photographer: K, if you don't mind, let's do a bare belly shot.
Sally: You want me to take off my shirt?
Photographer: Only if you're comfortable.
Mike: Do you want me to take off my shirt?
Photographer: Aaaactually that's not necess-- K, your shirt is off anyway.
Mike: The beach is that way!
Sally: Very funny, Mike.
Mike: I think I'm "expecting" rippling back muscles, amirite?
Sally: Seriously Mike, shut up.
Mike: I believe my bicep is pregnant.... with MUSCLES! Heh heh.
Sally: OMG take the effing picture.


So, I've set the bar really low so people don't think I'm judging their family picture anymore. I do a little, but I know they're not as bad as these. See how I did that? I'm always thinking about you.

Jae-gging

OMG I am hilarious with the titles.

So, I made a mental note to tell you guys about my experience with jeggings. I should have brought along a camera, but 1) That would be really, super dooper embarrassing, and 2) it wasn't a planned shopping trip. I somehow "ended up" at the mall and apparently was DRUNK because I thought it would be a good idea to try on mass amounts of jeggings.

You know what jeggings are, right? They're leggings that are printed and dyed to look like jeans. Like SO:



Oh, the more I look at them the more I realize what a bad idea it was.

So, I met up with my husband the other day for lunch. He CONVENIENTLY works a block away from the mall so we met at the food court for some Chick-Fil-A goodness. When it was time to go, I wondered if I should just wander the mall for a few hours. The kids had just gotten up from a nap, and my daughter got me to promise that I would take her to the indoor play area, so I thought that I could squeeze some good behavior out of the kids.

While I was perusing the windows, I caught sight of some jeggings. As usual, I mentally scoffed because THEY ARE SILLY. But as I looked at them, I begin to wonder how they would look under boots. I have plenty of pairs of boots, and one pair in particular are too tight to wear over regular jeans. I wondered if jeggings were the right choice. Especially because you can get tightness without muffin top. WIN WIN right?

So I began the great jegging try-on of 2010. You guys, I must have stuffed my kids into the fitting rooms of eight different stores trying to find jeggings that I liked. I tried: Wet Seal, Macy's, Forever 21, Charlotte Russe, American Eagle and Buckle.

Let's point out what type of body I have. I am an hourglass that teeters precariously over the edge of pear-dom. In other words, BABY GOT BACK. I don't mind my trunk. In fact, most of the time I enjoy it quite a bit. I like having shape.

But oh sweet mother of mercy, my body has never looked so mangled as it did in jeggings. Each pair I tried on was worse than the last, and ALL made me look like a severely unbalanced, albeit trendy, Humpty Dumpty. And one pair even had stirrups.

STIRRUPS!

So after pair after pair of jeggings and my exhausting the kids' supply of patience and pretzel bites, I resigned myself to the fact that I cannot pull off jeggings. While I still like the idea of jeggings for bootwear, I just can't get past what they do to my body. They transport me directly back to 1985. I envision my large purple plastic bifocals (YES I HAD THEM) side-ponies and Christmas sweaters all year round. I just. Can't. Do it.

Instead of buying jeggings, I ended up leaving the mall with a very large cocktail ring, a fur bolero (WTH? I was feeling festive, I think) and my own weight in chicken nuggets. I proceeded to drown my jegging-related sorrow in ranch dressing and waffle fries, as I made a solemn vow to never do that to myself again.

Look, I'm not trying to singlehandedly take down the entire jegging empire. I still think they look totally cute with skinny boots. But you know what else works with them? Skinny butts. Child bearing hips like mine have no place in stretch jeans-dyed leggings. Especially ones with stirrups. I'M SO ASHAMED!

Consider yourself warned.

A Lesson on Fit and Proportion

Every time I pick up any women's magazine (I currently receive Glamour, InStyle and for inexplicable reasons Women's Health omg I have a magazine addiction) there's undoubtedly an article about "The Best Jeans for Your Butt!" or "Swimsuits for Your Shape!". In the pages therein you'll find pictures of women dressed poorly before and looking fab after, with the help of better clothes and a virtual army of hair and makeup people.

Yet, every month, the same cover stories. Why? Because no one really *gets* it. Picking out an outfit and dressing yourself need not be a project for Cosmopolitan. Instead, it makes things easier when you realize that all of looking good in your clothes boils down to one thing: PROPORTION.

Now, first off, it should be said that an hourglass shape is the holy grail of body shapes. That's what you're going for. While other shapes are very lovely, an hourglass shape is the most proportionate. An hourglass shape occurs when you have a waist that is smaller than your chest and hips, which are proportionate to each other.

Bummer, right? We don't all have the vampy ladylike body of Marilyn Monroe. BUT!! We can totally fake it. Learn how to balance your proportions, and you'll be able to pick out an outfit and most importantly, work it. Suuuuper easy.

First you'll need to look in the mirror. Or measure yourself. Either way, you need to know your body shape. There's five basic shapes.

Hourglass: We covered this already. Were you even paying attention? If you've got an hourglass shape, you need to do everything in your power to show off that tiny waist. Belts are your best friends, as are wrap dresses and fitted shirts. DON'T put it all on display. You may have a lovely body, but pick one feature to show off. Boobs, legs, waist, whatever. You don't need too small, too tight, too revealing. It's gross.

Theme Rayon-Blend Slub-Jersey Wrap Dress, $62
Casual Trench, 20 GBP
Heels|Shoes:Stiletto Heel,Heel Pump,Women's High Heel Shoes,Spool..., $17
Lucky Brand 'Large' Printed Canvas Shopper, $39
Metal Flower Headband, 8 GBP

Pear: A pear shape has a smaller chest and waist with larger hips. I know, I feel for you. This means that to look better, you need to balance the largeness of your badonkadonk with your chest. The best way to do this? Layers! Oh how I love fall because it mans I can bring out delicious jackets and sweaters and blazers again. These will add bulk up top so your body looks balanced. You may want to avoid things that are heavily belted because it will show clear definition where your generous hips begin. Keep the focus up top. Stay away from skinny jeans. It's just not gonna happen. Bootcut for you, baby.

Pilot : Cap Sleeve Knitted Shrug, 10 GBP
Petite vertical denims Navy, 16 GBP
Pointed Studded Ballerina, 15 GBP
Studded Flower Hobo Handbag: Clothing, $47
Betsey Johnson - Betsey Paris Fluer de Lis Studs (Brass Ox) - Jewelry, $31
Striped cotton scarf, $45
Utility Belted Blazer - Best Sellers - tops & basics - Vanity, $30

Apple: If you've an apple, your hips and waist are similar in size, and your chest is smaller (darn small chests) Apples need to create a clear definition between what is waist and what is hip, so choose dresses with three distinct parts: bodice, waist, skirt. This will break up your body so it doesn't all come together in the middle. Tummy controlling jeans are your friends, as are empire waists. They'll make your waist look longer without calling attention to trouble areas.

Exclusive Red Big Sleeve Dress**, 45 GBP
Faux Suede Heel Boot - Teen Clothing by Wet Seal, $10
All Over Sequin Bow Metallics Clutch, 30 GBP
Carolee Double Drop Cognac Earrings - Max and Chloe, $38
Stone Stack Ring, $18

(PS, I could not love a human baby as much as I love this dress)

Inverted Triangle: Got a big rack and a tiny waist and no bum? You are an inverted triangle, my friend! That means you need to do what you can to balance out your top half with the bottom. You need to add volume around your hips with fuller skirts and embellishment. Shirts that end right at the hips can make them look more proportionate as well. Look for jeans with flap pockets to add a little bulk around the bum.

Roll Sleeve Burnout Top - Teen Clothing by Wet Seal, $17
A-line Woven Skirt, $20
Nicole Magical flower ballet flats in burnt orange, $73
Ted Baker 'Poppy Print' Hobo, $47
Kingdom Gold Holy Cross Key Necklace, $28
Gold Knotted Chain Belt, 20 GBP

Ruler: Oh, rulers. You are straight up and down with no curves at all. On the plus side? You look so good in skinny jeans. On the down side, you can look boyish if you're not careful. Belt things to create a waist, and look for tops with a clear emphasis or embellishment at the waist. Look for feminine detailing, like frills and sequins that girly up your boyish shape. Stay away from anything too column-like unless you're willing to belt as well. Breaking up your silhouette will fool the eye into thinking your have kickin' curves.

BKE Braided Cardigan Sweater, $48
FULL TILT Lace Rose Womens Tank, $15
AE Women's Skinny Jeans, $50
Black Faux Leather Pointed Toe Knee Hight Boot, $25
Woven Hobo Handbag: Clothing, $47
Peacock Feather Earrings, $13
Double wrap stud & punchout belt Black, 20 GBP


No matter what your shape, as long as you remember that you're always trying to achieve that hourglass shape, it can give you a little more direction in dressing and accessorizing. And it proves that even if you don't have model thin hips and porn star boobs, you can make it work (Is anyone else watching Project Runway? omg I love Tim Gunn.)