Freaky Friday

I really, really want to be taking a nap right now. I don't know why I'm not. I spent the afternoon shopping with a friend and corralling my 4-year-old and now I'm just tired. I know those are some seeeerious first world problems.  But it's not Friday without some freakiness, so I'll finish this quick and hit the pillow while my kids watch Turbo for the millionth time. YAY.

And yes I bought shoes stop being so nosy geez.

Thank goodness for awesome readers who send me ugly clothes and make this part of the blog easy.

 If The Croods and Sweet Valley High had a love child. Yeah that's right I'm mixing media references. (Thanks Brooke!)

 When Paul Bunyan decides that he was really mean to be Paula.

 This belt was clearly made by a blind carnie named Verne so please give generously.

 I like my patriotism where it matters. My crotch.

 From the awkward "Can we still call him Prince, or...?" years. 

 How much you wanna bet she makes a crinkle sound when she walks?

 Heidi sent these leggings, which were listed as "Church leggings" because religion is the very first thing you think of when looking at someone's upper thigh area.

She also sent me these boots, which reminded me of "My Strange Addiction" this week. The girl was addicted to pony play, which is apparently when you dress up as a horse and a live trainer makes you prance around a farm.

No, really. 

 Ugh, it's not even that this grown woman is wearing a crop top with mouths on it. It's just that the mouths are so darn unappealing. 

When you want to show off your lady business but also kind of look like a black M&M.

OK, I really need to go. This post took an hour to write because I kept getting distracted by online shopping. There is something wrong with me.