Freaky Friday

I had the worrrrst night last night. A neighborhood dog barked for literally four hours straight and I could not sleep. I should note that I'm a dog person and I love them, but not when they continually bark and ruin my night. I ended up out on the couch with my noise canceling headphones on at 4am. It was awesome. So I'm feeling a little off today. I apologize if I'm not as snarky as usual. My snark needs 8 hours of sleep to be really effective.

Heather sent me this very expensive Dolce and Gabbana bag that basically looks like the gross blanket that your grandma always keeps on the back of her sofa and that always smells like Cheetos.

 I can't decide what this looks like more. Carpet, or Harry's van from Dumb and Dumber. Either way, I don't want it near my crotch. 

 What? Owls are hot right now, right?

PS Owls are one thing that I do not get whatsoever. Like, I can see how they're cute, but I wouldn't want one in my house. For one, I'm scared of birds. For two, is it me or do owls seem kind of judgey? Like, you don't know my life owl!

 Alison sent me a huge collection of really sad fashion. And I chose this, because nothing is quite as sad as acid wash fringe. 

 Well that's subtle and ladylike.

PS Shoemaker, I can see that you just put a glove on a shoe and I think that's lazy.

 K first of all, I thought this was Gwyneth Paltrow and automatically hated it because I really, really dislike anyone who exercises four hours a day and eats baby food while recommending you buy a $4,000 snood. But when I realized that it wasn't GP, I decided that regardless, I hate Barbie tracksuits. Like, I didn't know they existed until 5 minutes ago, but I already know I hate them. 

 This is the ugliest ring ever, but it might stop me from biting my nails. 

 My youngest brother sent me this hoodie. 

I thought it would be good for those of you whose husbands have gained a little weight over the years. Zip it up and suddenly it's your college boyfriend! 

Of course, he'll have to keep it on always, which could get awkward. 

Lauren sent me this headband. I think it would be cool to buy this and wear it to like, parent-teacher conferences and act completely natural. Like "Oh this old thing?"

This purse disturbs me deeply. Wanna know why?

Because one night, I had the brilliant idea to watch Pan's Labyrinth on my own.

Cue sobbing in the fetal position. 

Nooooooooooooo oooooooo oo

And with that being said, I think I'm going to curl up in the fetal position, but because I'm tired and only slightly terrified that I actually had to Google a picture of the scariest thing of all time.

Happy Friday naps to everyone!