Maternity Monday: DON'TS -- Celebrity Edition

Due to the fact that I am potty training my 2-year-old this week and my brain is literally fried from exhaustion, I thought I'd post something a little fun for all you expecting ladies out there.

Whatever you do when you're pregnant, DON'T dress like any of these pregnant celebrities!

Britney Spears

Poor Britney. I really do feel sorry for her. Clearly, she was nothing short of a train wreck during her K-Fed days. But these ensembles ... uncalled for! Especially the shrug tied over her already-ginormous-before-pregnancy décolletage. That, um, top (if you can call it one) goes perfectly with that grungy, tie-dyed skirt and those cowboy boots (which she obviously loved).

Heidi Klum

Heidi, I adore you. If I could siphon your cuteness into a glass bottle and sell it, I'd be a billionaire. But this dress is hideous! There's no denying it. For one, it's huge, and you're not. Second, it looks like it's been through a hurricane or some other detrimental natural disaster. And another thing: it's sheer in random places, which just looks, well ... random! You did so much better this time.

M.I.A.

This outfit simply begs the question: WHAT was she thinking? Or was she? There is nothing redeeming about this ensemble. Nada. Epic fail. She would have been better off "missing in action" that night. Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.

Kourtney Kardashian

This dress isn't really THAT bad, but the sleeves are incredibly strange. It looks like she's smuggling some hideous late 90's drapes under her armpits. Or maybe like she is going to spread her wings and take flight at any moment. And the length of the dress leaves little to be desired ... literally. I don't care how nice your legs are ... if you can't sit without revealing your gender to the world, your dress too short.

J.Lo

I realize when this photograph was taken, Jennifer Lopez was trying to hide her pregnancy. Well, she failed, because this picture pretty much screams, "The Rumors Are True!"

Note to self: If you want your pregnancy to remain a mystery to the general public, don't wear too-tight, outrageously high-waisted electric blue disco pants.

And truthfully, too-tight, outrageously high-waisted electric blue disco apparel is probably never a good idea (unless it's Halloween).