Weighing In: Gladiator Sandals

K so a reader e-mailed me about gladiator sandals, so here I am, weighing in on them.

Ah, gladiator sandals. You were so popular last year and I figured that would be the last I saw from you. But alas, like an old boyfriend, you keep popping up; being friends with my friends on facebook, trying to get me to notice you when I was really just fine without you. You place yourself on the feet of many a famous person, so I will see you in US Weekly and think, really, Nicole Richie? Oooookay.

Seriously though. I thought I was okay with gladiator sandals. I didn't love them and I don't really think they're for me, but whatever floats your boat. However, then I was looking up different styles for this blog, and realized I really don't like them at all. I think the real, authentic gladiator sandal is pretty unflattering. The only time I really approve of it is with very skinny legs and very short shorts. If you're not willing to work it with those, then I would say I don't love them.

Here's why. The cut of the gladiator sandal makes your foot look huge. And manly. I don't like huge manly feet, unless of course, they are on a huge man. I have yet to see it make a foot look feminine. And I feel like your feet is one of those places on your body that you generally want to look as feminine as possible. Along with your hands, and perhaps your chin. Also, I feel that mom-types will wear them with capris. I don't love that either. I only tolerate them with skirts or dresses, or with shorts. Just because they are some serious foot wear and by wearing them, you are making a statement. Don't crowd them!

I am just not one to love a trend just because it is trendy.

HOWEVER!!! If you love gladiator sandals and they make you feel hottie hot hot, then by all means go ahead. This is one bit of fashion I won't judge you for. The sweats, yes, I will judge you for the sweats. But the gladiator sandals I'll just shrug and say "Okie dokie then."

Here are some variations of the gladiator sandals; some that I hate, and some that I can deal with.

Like these. I think its the color I like. Its a little more fresh than the dusty brown leather. And I love the criss crossing on the foot.

Hate these. Its the long leather strap up the middle, its what makes your foot look long and manly.

Like these in heel form. I like how they suggest gladiator sandals, rather than being like straight up, Spartan gladiator sandals, you know. The color and embellishments are reminiscent without jamming the concept down your throat.

These, however, are terrifying. And I am imagining leg squidge. Are you?

Like these. Probably because I own them. But they are shorter than the traditional gladiator sandal, thanks to the cut off with the strap across the toes. BUt to be brutally honest, I bought these because I was shopping in heels and they hurt and I needed some flats RIGHT THEN, and thought aw, what the heck.

Hate these. Like really hate them. WHY? Why with the leather cuffing? It will make your legs look stumpy. Avoid!!

So whether you love em or hate em, know that gladiator sandals don't have to be GLADIATOR sandals, you know? It doesn't have to be literal. Give em a shot. If you love them great (but don't spend that much on them; they are a trend and I'm fairly sure you won't see them around next year. Of course, that's what I thought last year but whatevs) If you hate them, that's great too.

What the Heck Do I Wear?

So I'm back! I was off on vacation to my homeland of Toronto, Canada. It was awesome. I decided not to be on computers while I was there. Guess what? Computers are such a timesuck!

But here I am again, aren't you glad?

Anyways, I thought I'd write a little bit about How to Shop. Now that you hopefully have your denim wardrobe on hand, it's time to add to your wardrobe. I fully believe in having a very well rounded closet, so that you're never faced with a "What the heck do I wear?" situation. You should always be able to pull from your own closet because you've already built up enough that you are prepared for the situation.

The NUMBER ONE biggest mistake I see women making when they are clothes shopping is shopping without a plan. No, I don't mean you always have to know what you're buying and where you're getting it from, I mean shopping without direction. Think about it; stores have LOTS of cute clothes. That's what they're there for. But that doesn't mean you just go grab whatever cute thing you like and buy it. Why? Because you'll go home, realize you have nothing to wear it with, and hang it in your closet with the TAGS STILL ON for your husband to discover and use it as a case for you to never go shopping again. And you want to shop right? RIGHT?

When you head into a store and see something you love, STOP. First think; what would I wear this with? Think about the things you already own. Picture the outfit down to the accessories and shoes. If you can do that with things you already have in the closet, go ahead and try on and buy it if you like it.

If you CAN'T plan an outfit around the new item with things you already own, you now have to decide. Am I willing to commit to this item enough that I am now going to BUY the things that I need to wear it with? Or is it not worth it. This thought process has helped me put many an item back on the shelf and invest my money on something that will get alot of use instead. Because clothes are for WEARING! Except for my pair of Michael Kors shoes, which I spent too much money on and live in daily fear of ruining. So those are for looking at.

A good base to start around is your denim wardrobe. Got it? Good. Now add to that using the outfits we went over in the past few weeks... stuff for dressing up, stuff for running errands, stuff for hanging around. PURPOSE your clothes. Pick up and item and THINK, k, now where would I wear this?

Another note is about fit. ESPECIALLY with jeans or denim, the fit will be different for each pair. Even if you are tried and true size four, no TWO size fours will be the same when it comes to denim- Denim is not an exact science, and the composition will result in a different fit. So heed this advice and when trying on jeans, grab TWO pairs of the size you want and ONE pair of the next size up. This will eliminate you a) having to ask the dressing room attendant for the next size up or b) just not getting the jeans because you are too embarrassed. However, it DOES allow you to smugly as for the next size SMALLER, if you should need it. Because that's fun.

Think of your clothes or wardrobe as a collection. You need to add different pieces to that collection to make it complete. A collection made up entirely of Mickey Mouse Pez Dispensers is lame. So is a clothes collection made entirely of t-shirts. Make it diverse. So that next time you have a Girl's Night, or have to go to a parent teacher interview, or need to make an appearance at a wedding, the outfit you need is already in your closet (more on these to come!)

Freaky Friday Don'ts

Yay, another installment! I love trolling the interwebs for ugly clothes. I find them in abundance!!



These shoes look like Pocahantas on E. What the heck do you even wear them with?




This was listed as a peasant top. WHAT PEASANT WEARS THIS? I think it should be listed under "cracked out flamenco dancer who is seriously misplaced." This is one of those shirts that a girl might see you in and be like ooh, fashion-y. And then ANY male will see you and just become confused.



K, let me explain something to you. Katy Perry may wear these shoes in her music video. You are not Katy Perry in a music video. Even SHE looks a little like "Really? Gold high tops? Alright, if you say so..."




Most, Unflattering . Shirt. Ever. Again, say it with me... if it makes the mannequin look fat, it will MOST CERTAINLY make you look fat too.





Beam me up, Scotty!



Easily the most UNREMARKABLE shirt I've ever seen in my life. It has scalloped edges! SCALLOPED! WHY?





For those who love their bodies, but just wish they had a
little" more saddlebags. I've been there.



Hahahahahaha....


Hahaha.

Found this under "Tops". For the first time, I will have to beg to differ. This shirt is a top like my miniature schnauzer is a real dog. Its ridiculous to even say such a thing.

PS her boobs look like the were molded out of kindergarten play dough. Just sayin'.

Enjoy your weekends and shop happy my disciples!

Putting It Together - The Skinny Jean

Ah, the controversial skinny jean. I hate when people say things like "Only skinny people can wear a skinny jean." or tell you to ALWAYS stick with bootcut. Yeah guess what? Sticking to one fashion concept always is borrrring. And I love the skinny jean. It took me a good month to work up to even trying the things on, and since then I've been fairly addicted. I love me a skinny jean. They are so trendy that no matter how you style them, they always look super fashion forward. And they are crazy versatile in the way you can dress them up and down.

There are a few different ways I like to wear my skinny jeans. Now let me put up this disclaimer; while I am typically on the smaller side, I have a good sized booty. Not gonna lie, I'm a little proud of it. So, mushbelly asked if you an wear skinny jeans if you have a butt and the answer is YES! Skinny jeans are all about balance. Once you find the right balance, ANYONE can wear them.



Now remember this one tip - always buy skinny jeans one size bigger than you would a regular pair. That way you aren't trying to stuff yourself into them, causing you to feel depressed and eat two Cinnabons. I'VE BEEN THERE. Start big, and if you need to go down a size, good on you! Also remember that skinny does not mean tapered. Skinny jeans have a stovepipe leg that is straight all the way down, and are cut close to the body. If you aren't sure whether the jeans you are looking at are tapered or not, take a cue from my boy Clinton Kelly and fold the jean leg up from the knee and see. If it is the same width, you have a winner. If the bottom of the jean leg is smaller, boo, put it back. Tapered jeans are not for moms.


K, so here is a few ways to rock the skinny jean.





















Okay, here is how you balance out the skinny-ness of the jeans with a blousy top and a boot. The blousy top counteracts how close the jeans are cutting on your leg, and the boot adds some heft at the bottom; the same kind of heft you'd get in say, a pair of bootcut jeans. Get a boot with a bit of a heel, but don't go crazy with it. I have like 6 pairs of knee high boots and my fave pair? From Payless. lol. Add a slouchy bag and a cute earring, and you have a perfect girl's night out type outfit. Shirt and earrings from F21, bag from Zappos, boot from, you guessed it, Payless.











This is how to do a skinny jean in an every day, grocery shopping/PTA meeting type setting. Start with a plaid shirt, but choose one with girly elements, like this one with a waist tie. Choose boots this time that are riding boots; almost no heel and masculine details like buckles. Pair it with a sunny bag that makes this NOT look like you're a farmhand. SO freakin' cute. These boots are by Madden, but I love Frye Harness ones too. Bag from Shop Suey, Shirt from F21.














Now this is a little bit more daring way to wear your skinny jeans. But if you've got em, and feel comfortable in them, this is how to do it. This is how I would recommend you wear them if you DO have a booty and don't mind showing it off a little. Consider the top (from Charlotte Russe). Its longer than your regular run of the mill shirt. You want one that stretches at least down to your hip bone. Because the shirt is longer, you're not going to do a boot... you do both and you'll have like 3 inches of actual jeans showing. Instead, do it with a serious stacked heel, just bring the cuff of your skinny jean down over them as far as they'll go. Pair with some sweet jewelry, and I would totally wear this to a concert or on a really good, non movie date. Or anytime I want to show up other girls. Don't act like you don't do it too. Shoes and accessories from F21.


You can do skinny jeans with flats, but choose this route only if you have a more boyish figure and are comfortable with it. Because flats don't give any substance at the foot, it looks a little top heavy on plus sized girls, or girls with less-proportionate bodies.


But TRY this. Work up the nerve to give it a shot in all the different ways to wear it, and I promise you'll like it. Fear the skinny jean no more!

Putting It Together - The Super Hot Date Night Jean

K, so its not secret that I love to get dressed up. When I'm not hanging around in my WWF t-shirts, I am totally all gussied up in my finery. Honestly, I just like the way it feels when you're like "Oh hey, Mirror. Whatcha doin? Reflecting my hotness? That's pretty cool."

And you get the strut. You know what I'm talkin bout. The special walk reserved for when you look good and you know people are looking at you. If you're reading this, its probably because your a mom and that means you have a husband or significant other that you've had around for quite some time. My husband and I are celebrating our 6th anniversary this year, and we've been together for 7. Yeah. It is WAY too easy to fall into the old go out for pizza/watch a movie that may or may not be animated because you have kids with you/ go home and fall asleep date night. I have two words for that.

THATS LAME.

Why not surprise your guy with a real date night this weekend? You know, the kind where you get a babysitter, head out to a place you've never tried before, do something fun. Even if its just walking around the mall *ahem*togoshopping*ahem*, dress up to do it in your hot date night jeans. Spark a little somethin somethin.

And because I love you, I'll you a sweet look and a spicy look, so you can adjust depending on where you're headed off to.
















K, Sweet. Start off with this retardedly adorable shirt from Forever21. Love it...its sleek but super feminine. Then you add your date jeans and a super simple shoe because the top is so ornate. Go easy on the accessories when you really want the top to stand out. Its so pretty it practically is an accessory. I love metallic with black, so we've got a vintage clutch by Letty Designs and earrings that reflect the lace from Charlotte Russe. That's it.

K here's a bit of a spicier look. This is pretty typical of something I would wear out. The shirt is really simple and plain but cut well. That means you can do more in the way of really cute shoes (MakeMeChic.com), a seriously layered necklace and rock star ring (F21) and of course, a clutch. I love this one's texture, and the fact that its a monochromatic shade of the top, but isn't matchy to anything else.

So! Your mission this weekend is: 1) buy hot clothes 2) go on a non lame date.

Return and report.

Putting It Together - The Weekend Jean

So I was in a total quandary on Friday because I was like ah! The weekend is coming! And didn't know whether to post the weekend jean because you might be slummin' it all weekend, OR post the date night jean in case you had a hot date, so I just put them both off in favour of eating Mini Eggs instead. I figured I'd get them both this week so you'd have CHOICES. Don't you love me? I do.

Anyhow! Weekend jeans. I love them so much. I love putting on a pair and making an outfit that is kind of vintage-y and worn in, but still looks put together and intentional. Let me profess to you my love of graphic t-shirts. One of my best friends, Katie, is constantly making fun of my love for shirts with weird graphics on them. I have them all... Beatles tees, word tees, Nintendo tees, Big Pimpin' tees (lol!), World Wildlife Fund tees. Whatever. I love them. I think they are great for weekend wear and they are usually very fitted and look pretty adorable. So I tend to pair my weekend jeans with a vintage graphic tee, my super cute white moccasins, and call it a day. Observe.

Okay, here are your weekend jeans. They are totally stonewashed and worn in. Holes are a-ok here. AGAIN, I really hate that whoever styled this picture put them with brown heeled boots, so IGNORE.

A really cute graphic tee. The trick to doing a plain fitted tee? Buy it one size larger than you usually wear. DON'T buy it to be skin tight like in years past. You want it to look casual and whatever-ish. Let there be some extra fabric and it'll be just right. Remember the things you do on the weekend; shop, run errands, work on house projects, whatever. Its meant to be functional, and if you're constantly tugging on your shirt because its too tight, you lose.

K, I tried to find a set of mocs that look like the ones I have but no such luck. But I am totally okay with a nice, CLEAN, white flip flop. Just don't let them be platform flip flops, please! They are atrocious.

As for bags, I love something more messenger-y when you are going so casual. A regular handbag will look out of place. I am in love with this Juicy one...sling it across you body and stuff it full of weekend essentials. Let me point out that if you find a good messenger bag you love. BUY IT. They are crazy versatile. Not only can you use it on the weekends, but they are great diaper bags, carry-on bags for traveling, you name it.

Now, jewelry with such a casual weekend jean is weird and I don't recommend it. But if you MUST, try something with a little bit of a harder edge. My husband got me this Marc Jacobs leather bracelet a couple Christmases ago, and I love to wear it as my ONE piece of jewelry when I'm otherwise dressed casually. The leather and metal combo is a better option than say, something silver or gold, or even bright and plastic.

Okay, so sorry for abandoning you last weekend, but it was Easter anyhow, so you were probably all dressed in your finery. However try it this weekend. You guys know how much I hate schlubby dressers... this is how to be secretly schlubby so I won't judge you.

Putting it Together - Everyday Jeans

K, so we've talked about jeans and we've talked about must haves for your wardrobes. Now it is go time. Lets put some of these outfits together so you can see what I mean when I talk about having the right outfits for the right occasions, right down to the handbag and shoes. I'm going to break it into a few posts because it'll be kind of picture heavy and lets face it, then I get a bunch of posts out of this topic.

Anyway, here's the formula for the Everyday Jeans.

Everyday Jeans + non-boring but casual shirt + cute flats + everyday purse = non-mommy goodness. Observe.

How adorable is this shirt?? Its super interesting but still is easy to chuck on and look insta-ready, and it floats away from the body, keeping is super flattering. I actually might need to purchase this one. Come onnnnnn tax refund - I need my spring shopping fix! (Forever21)

Of course, the jeans. These are Sevens, and they are fantastic.


K, how much do I love these flats? Of course I love a black and white outfit with a little red, but you can totally do a black flat or whatever else you want. I think a yellow one would also be freakin' adorable.

Love this for an everyday bag. What makes it good for everyday? Couple things. 1) Its size. I like a bad that is at least 13" wide to haul all mine, my daughter's and my sons crap around in and 2) the neutral colors that will match anything and 3) The shape. Not too formal, totally casual. I say have a bunch of everyday bags. Remember when we talked about just having a clutch with your important stuff in that you can just transfer from bag to bag? Do it! (ShopSueyBoutique.com)


I love the idea of tying in the shoes with something un-obvious like a belt. You'll just get little peeks of it here and there and its less "HEY! I MATCH MY SHOES-ish" than doing a big necklace or something, you know?

Now how easy was that? I never ever want to hear that you don't have time to look cute. This is literally five things to put on. If you don't have that much time. you should probably just stay at home anyway.