Jacket Week Day 2: Casual Jackets

K, when I say casual, I mean something you might wear shopping, running errands, etc, etc. I love a jacket. I could wax poetic about the jacket for hours, but it would make for a very boring blog. They are super versatile, and great for doing some major undercover camouflage work when it comes to tummies. And awesome for layering without bulking.

The fun thing about casual jackets is that you can totally experiment with color and pattern, because they aren't stuffy office jackets.




Love this in green. See that nice band around the waist? That'll nip you in.






Can I tell you that not everyone knows that I am pregnant yet? And since I am still in an awkward tummy stage, I totally wore my blazer with a bow to church and tied to bow right over my belly? Genuis!



Love this color soooo much. Wear this with dark jeans, perhaps even boots over top? Ooh!!



Now, this jacket in theory is very cute. Red and cropped. Problem is, the only way to wear this is with a tight shirt underneath, and if you have a tummy at all, it'll definitely call attention on it. Better to wait and wear something like this when you ARE pregnant, when you actually do want to show off your big belly.



Love the pattern of this, and it's actually a sweatshirt type material, which makes it super comfortable. I wish they made everything in sweatshirt material.



I love the shape of this jacket, and the kind of private school styling. Look for interesting details, like a patch or big buttons. They are SUPPOSED to be fun.



Casual jackets are awesome, and you should have at least 3 in your wardrobe. Throw them on next time you want to look put together but still fun, styled but totally laid back. It looks effortless, not like you just spend ten minutes reading about them on the internet at all!

Jacket Week! Day 1: Work Jackets

K, so this week is jacket week, due to the questions I get all the time about jackets. We're going to focus on four different types: work wear, casual, outdoor functional and outdoor fun. See how CONVENIENT that is? And we'll still have time to finish out the week with ugly clothes. YAY.

So, work jackets I love. Know why? Because they aren't just for "work" anymore. I know this because I used to work in an office. And I had the most fantastic work wardrobe. Like honestly, I salivate a little at all the cute outfits I used to wear. If I ever consider going back to work outside the home, the only thing that convinces me are the clothes. Now, I work from home, and more often than not, my "business casual" wardrobe revolves around yoga pants. Oh, if my colleagues could only see me now.

Anyhow, so I had this great wardrobe, and then I quit working in an office to telecommute, and then what do I do with all of it? I reassigned it, of course. My work wardrobe became my exceedingly cute girl's night out wardrobe, church wardrobe, etc. I just broke up the pieces, paired it with trendier stuff, and voila! Hotness.

I prefer a bit of a shrunken blazer to a traditional "jacket". The difference? Take your hand and place it directly on your hip bone. DO IT! Did you? K? Remember this while shopping. A shrunken blazer will not fall below that bone. The nice thing about them is that you can pair it with a longer, flowier top to balance out the structure of the jacket. (PS, according to spellcheck, 'flowier' is not a word. Psshhhhhh obviously spellchecker as never been on a quest to find a GNO outfit utilizing his office wardrobe, am I right?)




Take this super cute jacket here. It's all structure-y and heavy. Take the belt off, and pair it with this:


OR! If you're feeling wild, this
(All from Forever21)

Then add dark wash jeans, pointy heels, and you will be the hottest chick at your next GNO/date night/PTA meeting. Kidding about the PTA meeting. When I was a kid, one of my friend's moms used to wear leopard print to the school functions and people had ideas about her. And rightly so.

If you do happen to enjoy a longer blazer, I totally recommend you keep it super simple underneath, with a plain tank. Just because the blazer is going to be enough on it's own.






Girlfriend has this right. (Victoria's Secret)

And if your jackets are a little more mens-wearish and don't lend themselves to flowy tops very much, never fear.


Swap the stuffy shirt for some much needed cleave (and by cleave, I mean boobs.) And call it a day.

K, a couple of don'ts when it comes to work/office type blazers.
-Make sure they have some kind of seaming from under the bust vertically to the pockets or hem. This means it is structured, which in turn means you look skinny.




-Jackets should always be worn with DARK jeans. Otherwise you'll totally look like some redneck who shows up to his wedding with a jacket on, but still his stonewashed denim because HE'S READY TO PARTY!


So dust off your work wardrobe and give it some new life. Unless you happen to have last been in the workplace in 1985, in which case, you should probably just donate it to a secretary with a HEART OF GOLD! And buy something new.

Freaky Friday Don'ts

YAY! Another round of ugly clothes I found and laughed at, then posted for you to see why I hate them. My favourite! Here we go...


What an awkward shirt. It's so weirdly short and stumpy. Repeat after me: If it is unflattering on the MODEL, it will probably do the same to you, but worse. I think I can see her belly button.


The only time a sweater this homely would be acceptable would be if you're a nurse. Even then, a little questionable. It conjures up images of 23 cats and Hungry Man dinners.


Sausage shirt!!

Why hello, Carol Brady. Nice to see you again. Off to your PTA meeting, are you?

Wear it with this ill-fitting, weird length skirt for extra points.


Boxy-est jacket EVER. You are not a square. Do not dress like one (I am totally going to do jackets some time next week. I love jackets but then there are ruiners like this out there. And some mom is like "ooh! A red jacket! How hip!" Oh, honey no.)



I saved the best for last. Hands down the scariest, least flattering dress I've ever seen. I don't even know where you would wear this? Formal soccer game? Upscale camp site? Anyone?

Stay tuned!

Answer to a Question

So the question arose today (from Mel... thanks Mel!) Of what to wear this fall.

Can I just preface this by saying I LOVE FALL! I am not a summer person, I'm from Canada for pete's sake. You know? The Great White North? I live for snowy days and warm blankets. Good thing I moved to the desert eh?

Anyhow, I love going into my closet and yanking out all my lovely sweaters, and wearing my jeans! And boots! Ugh, now I am just wishing for fall. Luckily, in the fashion world, fall is already upon us, and there is an abundance of sweet stuff out there. I am going to say, if you are going to reinvent your mommy wardrobe, NOW is the time. Tons of good designer previews and you can totally experiment with layers and jackets and all the fun stuff. Then, next summer you shall emerge as a beautiful butterfly, fully knowing what looks good on you.

So, for Mel, here are some awesome things for fall.

The first thing I love about fall clothes are the textures! I love a good menswear gone feminine outfit, and fall lends itself to these awesome fabrics and patterns without looking too stiff.

Argyle sweater - New York and Company

Plaid sweater - Juicy

Oh boo, this is fuzzy. But houndstooth!! I love houndstooth! Here is a picture of me wearing it, whilst biting my arm (I have what my family affectionately calls manatee arms, which will be the first to go in the event of starvation and subsequent cannibalism. They love me.)

Plaid dress. MUST HAVE IT. Why? Why oh fashion gods did you release this when I am pregnant? Cruel. Nordstrom

I am leaving my husband and marrying this Anthropologie sweater like, now. Don't you just want to crawl into it?

Then, on the flip side, I love really vivid, saturated jewel toned colors this season too. Especially if you have darker skin and hair, these will look amazing. When I say saturated, I mean nothing light or worn in anyway. Pristine, pure forms of a color. Think "plum" and "turquoise", even "jade".

Perfect color here. Nordstrom.

Also Nordstrom. Imagine this under my lover/sweater and you get the heavier texture with the newer color and you've pretty much hit a home run.

What shoes to wear? Welllllll you could wear black, but so does everyone else. Jewel tones look SO MUCH richer when worn with a) brown or b) a contrasting jewel tone. For the plum, these boots are gorgeous (Sorry, I love boots for fall because by this time I am itching to dust em off.) With the turquoise, those wine shoes are fantastic. It may seem totally counter intuitive to do a bright color up top with one on the foot, but you have to trust me on this one. Like I am ----- this close to running out and buying it. PLUS! Wine color shoes with that plaid grey dress? Love.

K, I am like having a fall fashion-gasm here, so I'll wrap it up. My eyes are peeled for more awesome fall stuff. I could have a whole post dedicated to fall jackets!!!! Is that sad?

For the Full Figured Gals

K! Story time!

So once, my father in law was out and about, and he saw an acquaintance that he'd heard was pregnant a few months back. So he went to go talk to her, and just as they parted way, he patted her belly and said, "So, aren't you going to have that baby yet?"

She had. A few months ago.

Awkward.

So, they both learned a valuable lesson that day. He never says anything to anyone ever about pregnancy, and she learned to rethink the way she dressed.

I have four brothers, and if there is anything I learned from them growing up is that wearing bigger clothes does nothing but draw attention to the fact that you've got something to hide. I remember them mocking relentlessly the girl who would show up to the pool in full shorts and t-shirts. It was like a big sign: INSECURITY! INSECURITY!

The truth is, you work with what you have. If you happen to be plus size, stop wishing for a smaller body and stop punishing yourself by not buying clothes until you're a size 4.

There are some ADORABLE things that I turned up, courtesy or Torrid and Lane Bryant, the latter which I don't usually love, but after some hunting, found to be pretty adorable.

I love layering, but it can be tricky if you're full figured. However, this piece was made to look like two, so you can get the effect without the bulk.

K, I covet this dress so very much. So VAMPY! And not ordinary- You'd have to have some serious curves to pull it off. Buy it.

These pants are fantastic in their fit and proportion. See that thicker tab waist too? It'll flatten out and look super svelte.

K, patterns can be tricky with plus sizes. Don't choose anything too big or too contrasting, they are going to emphasize everything you don't want them too. This linear shirt is just about perfect. The stripes are running vertically, making you look longer.

See the difference with the pattern on this shirt? It's bigger, and what's worse, the pattern is ROUND. Not good.
"
Boo.

And you don't always have to do flowy shirts. Check out this super cute structured one. The frill down the middle detracts from any problem areas, bringing your eye right to the center instead.

Finally, this is pretty much the perfect dress for a fuller figure. Nips in at your smallest part, and then flares out in an a-line. And the square neckline adds a bit of interest using a faux shrug. LOVE.

K. Bottom line? These are not your grandma's plus sized clothes. I better not catch you in your husband's basketball shirt EVER. AGAIN.

Cute Alternatives to UGLY Shoes

Sometimes I hear this statement.

"I only have two pairs of shoes."

This. Is. Appalling.

At last count I was at 64 pairs of shoes. You don't need to have that many, but for heaven's sakes, can there be a happy medium?

I have all those shoes because I am nearly OCD about making sure I have the perfect shoes for every outfit. And I really do. Not to mention anyone else's outfit for that matter. And I totally check out other people's shoes. And judge them. SO SUE ME.

And I am totally going to take down the three worst mom shoe offenders. I see them all the time and literally wince. IN PAIN. Why have ugly shoes when there are SO MANY CUTE ONES? For not a lot of cash too?

Here's my Public Enemies #1

The Loafer

Words cannot express my extreme hatred for the loafer. It is ugly. And people who wear mom jeans pair the loafer up with it just to annoy me, I'm sure. I understand why someone would wear. No, wait, scratch that. I understand why someone might possibly in some weird alternate universe wear this. It's comfy. Good for running errands. You can just slip it on. May I introduce the flat??

Also comfy! Also good for running errands! Also slip ons! Just much, much cuter. Pair them with your jeans that have a wider leg, or if you've taken my skinny jean advice, those two. I absolutely LIVE in my flats, even in the winter, when I am constantly stepping in snow pockets and cursing the world. But that's how much I love them.

Public Enemy #2

The White Ked.

I see these and immediately think FlyLady. Anyone who knows the FlyLady concept knows that it all revolves around white keds and it makes me shudder with disgust. ARE YOU A NURSE? If you answered no to that question, you should not own these. If you answered yes, Ked away, you wonderful lifesaver!

Here are my alternatives.

I am pretty biased because I own both of these and I love both. THe pink cortez is a classic in the sneaker world, and far cuter than the plain white Keds. Guaranteed it's more comfortable as well, and they look adorable with jeans. The Nike Clog is my most comfortable shoe I own. I wear it anytime I know I am going to be shopping for a very long time beacuse they never ever ever make my feet hurt. I also keep them close to the door to slip on and get the mail and the neighbours thing "OH! Look at those stylish non-Keds!"

Public Enemy #3: The Weird Mom Ankle Boot

EVERY MOM is guilty of this one. This is because in our moments of low self esteem and weakness we think "I need some of those fashionable boots the kids are wearing these days!" But we still want comfort, so we turn up these weird hybrids. I will totally admit, I have a pair from when I was like. 17 and trying to be grown up. They are still in my closet for reminder purposes. I hate them. I see women wearing them all the time. Boots should never ever be chunky. Ever.

My alternative. Replace the heel with something sleeker. You can do it! The toe should be pointy. I know pointy is scary, but I will tell you now, they are a heck of alot more comfortable than the round toe stoff we jam our feet into. Look at your toes. Go ahead! See how they more or less coome to a point at your big toe? Pointy toe -d shoes foster it and make it comfy. And for the love of pete, go knee high. They are 100x more versatile because you can wear them under jeans, over skinny jeans, with skirts. No more ankle boots for you!

Hopefully I have offended someone enough that they will retire their mom shoes and go shopping. Because if anything, my mission is to cause you to go into debt with extreme shopaholic sydrome.

Freaky Friday Don'ts

I swear, if I see any of you wearing any of these, I will slip on my sunglasses and commence not knowing you.



K, if the pants give the MANNEQUIN a weird front bum (Front bum being the unattractive ting that happens when your pants make you look like you have a bum on your front) then they are probably not a good idea.


The equivalent of a Christmas sweater in the fall. My friend went to an awesome Ugly Sweater Part last Christmas. I'm pretty sure this won.




K, I hate denim shorts in the first place, but thes are a whole new category of fug. High waisted, relaxed fit, ew.


What the DEUCE is up with this shirt? WHY would you want to wear a boat on your shirt? A sailboat??? WHY??


Repeat after me: I am too old to wear trendy colored denim and too young to wear scary geriatric colored denim. (Although it does kind of match the sailboat shirt)




This shirt annoys me more than the person wearing it is even capable of being annoyed. LAME. DO NOT WEAR YOUR PMS ON YOUR SHIRT. Ever.

I swear I will slap these off of your feet. I understand that they are comfortable. I also understand they say "I give up!" If you're going to go this far, the next step is pristine white Keds. It's a slippery slop my friend.


Check back next Friday for more ugly clothes that I better not catch you wearing.