Putting It Together - The Super Hot Date Night Jean

K, so its not secret that I love to get dressed up. When I'm not hanging around in my WWF t-shirts, I am totally all gussied up in my finery. Honestly, I just like the way it feels when you're like "Oh hey, Mirror. Whatcha doin? Reflecting my hotness? That's pretty cool."

And you get the strut. You know what I'm talkin bout. The special walk reserved for when you look good and you know people are looking at you. If you're reading this, its probably because your a mom and that means you have a husband or significant other that you've had around for quite some time. My husband and I are celebrating our 6th anniversary this year, and we've been together for 7. Yeah. It is WAY too easy to fall into the old go out for pizza/watch a movie that may or may not be animated because you have kids with you/ go home and fall asleep date night. I have two words for that.

THATS LAME.

Why not surprise your guy with a real date night this weekend? You know, the kind where you get a babysitter, head out to a place you've never tried before, do something fun. Even if its just walking around the mall *ahem*togoshopping*ahem*, dress up to do it in your hot date night jeans. Spark a little somethin somethin.

And because I love you, I'll you a sweet look and a spicy look, so you can adjust depending on where you're headed off to.
















K, Sweet. Start off with this retardedly adorable shirt from Forever21. Love it...its sleek but super feminine. Then you add your date jeans and a super simple shoe because the top is so ornate. Go easy on the accessories when you really want the top to stand out. Its so pretty it practically is an accessory. I love metallic with black, so we've got a vintage clutch by Letty Designs and earrings that reflect the lace from Charlotte Russe. That's it.

K here's a bit of a spicier look. This is pretty typical of something I would wear out. The shirt is really simple and plain but cut well. That means you can do more in the way of really cute shoes (MakeMeChic.com), a seriously layered necklace and rock star ring (F21) and of course, a clutch. I love this one's texture, and the fact that its a monochromatic shade of the top, but isn't matchy to anything else.

So! Your mission this weekend is: 1) buy hot clothes 2) go on a non lame date.

Return and report.

Putting It Together - The Weekend Jean

So I was in a total quandary on Friday because I was like ah! The weekend is coming! And didn't know whether to post the weekend jean because you might be slummin' it all weekend, OR post the date night jean in case you had a hot date, so I just put them both off in favour of eating Mini Eggs instead. I figured I'd get them both this week so you'd have CHOICES. Don't you love me? I do.

Anyhow! Weekend jeans. I love them so much. I love putting on a pair and making an outfit that is kind of vintage-y and worn in, but still looks put together and intentional. Let me profess to you my love of graphic t-shirts. One of my best friends, Katie, is constantly making fun of my love for shirts with weird graphics on them. I have them all... Beatles tees, word tees, Nintendo tees, Big Pimpin' tees (lol!), World Wildlife Fund tees. Whatever. I love them. I think they are great for weekend wear and they are usually very fitted and look pretty adorable. So I tend to pair my weekend jeans with a vintage graphic tee, my super cute white moccasins, and call it a day. Observe.

Okay, here are your weekend jeans. They are totally stonewashed and worn in. Holes are a-ok here. AGAIN, I really hate that whoever styled this picture put them with brown heeled boots, so IGNORE.

A really cute graphic tee. The trick to doing a plain fitted tee? Buy it one size larger than you usually wear. DON'T buy it to be skin tight like in years past. You want it to look casual and whatever-ish. Let there be some extra fabric and it'll be just right. Remember the things you do on the weekend; shop, run errands, work on house projects, whatever. Its meant to be functional, and if you're constantly tugging on your shirt because its too tight, you lose.

K, I tried to find a set of mocs that look like the ones I have but no such luck. But I am totally okay with a nice, CLEAN, white flip flop. Just don't let them be platform flip flops, please! They are atrocious.

As for bags, I love something more messenger-y when you are going so casual. A regular handbag will look out of place. I am in love with this Juicy one...sling it across you body and stuff it full of weekend essentials. Let me point out that if you find a good messenger bag you love. BUY IT. They are crazy versatile. Not only can you use it on the weekends, but they are great diaper bags, carry-on bags for traveling, you name it.

Now, jewelry with such a casual weekend jean is weird and I don't recommend it. But if you MUST, try something with a little bit of a harder edge. My husband got me this Marc Jacobs leather bracelet a couple Christmases ago, and I love to wear it as my ONE piece of jewelry when I'm otherwise dressed casually. The leather and metal combo is a better option than say, something silver or gold, or even bright and plastic.

Okay, so sorry for abandoning you last weekend, but it was Easter anyhow, so you were probably all dressed in your finery. However try it this weekend. You guys know how much I hate schlubby dressers... this is how to be secretly schlubby so I won't judge you.

Putting it Together - Everyday Jeans

K, so we've talked about jeans and we've talked about must haves for your wardrobes. Now it is go time. Lets put some of these outfits together so you can see what I mean when I talk about having the right outfits for the right occasions, right down to the handbag and shoes. I'm going to break it into a few posts because it'll be kind of picture heavy and lets face it, then I get a bunch of posts out of this topic.

Anyway, here's the formula for the Everyday Jeans.

Everyday Jeans + non-boring but casual shirt + cute flats + everyday purse = non-mommy goodness. Observe.

How adorable is this shirt?? Its super interesting but still is easy to chuck on and look insta-ready, and it floats away from the body, keeping is super flattering. I actually might need to purchase this one. Come onnnnnn tax refund - I need my spring shopping fix! (Forever21)

Of course, the jeans. These are Sevens, and they are fantastic.


K, how much do I love these flats? Of course I love a black and white outfit with a little red, but you can totally do a black flat or whatever else you want. I think a yellow one would also be freakin' adorable.

Love this for an everyday bag. What makes it good for everyday? Couple things. 1) Its size. I like a bad that is at least 13" wide to haul all mine, my daughter's and my sons crap around in and 2) the neutral colors that will match anything and 3) The shape. Not too formal, totally casual. I say have a bunch of everyday bags. Remember when we talked about just having a clutch with your important stuff in that you can just transfer from bag to bag? Do it! (ShopSueyBoutique.com)


I love the idea of tying in the shoes with something un-obvious like a belt. You'll just get little peeks of it here and there and its less "HEY! I MATCH MY SHOES-ish" than doing a big necklace or something, you know?

Now how easy was that? I never ever want to hear that you don't have time to look cute. This is literally five things to put on. If you don't have that much time. you should probably just stay at home anyway.

The Denim Wardrobe

K, so I have previously expounded upon the merits of owning a jeans wardrobe. This means having a pair of jeans for just about every occasion and every outfit. Too many moms buy their one stinkin' pair of Lee's and think they are in good shape. NO. You should have multiple pairs of jeans in different cuts, styles and washes so that you can get the full mileage from your wardrobe. Some shoes and shirts will not go with your one pair of jeans. EXPAND your denim wardrobe.

So here are the jeans I think every woman should have in their closet. Take it as you will, but I've spent alot of time cultivating my own jeans wardrobe and it is finally at peak perfection. I have jeans to wear with EVERYTHING in my closet. And it feels goooood.

Lets also have a quick reminder about pricing. Jeans can be crazy expensive right? And some jeans, I'll recommend you do invest in. However, "fashion" jeans that you just buy to match stuff can be cheap. Don't spend more than $50 on them. Love em and leave em when they go out of style. That way you don't feel guilty.

Here we go!

The Everyday Jean

This is the pair of jeans that I really do recommend you spend money on. Because they are literally the everyday jean, you'll find yourself pulling them out of the closet as your standby. I love my everyday ones, they make getting dressed pretty effortless. They look good, they are casual enough to wear with plain stuff but still cute enough that I can top them with a jacket if I need to dress them up a bit. Everyday jeans should fit PERFECTLY. Mine are tailored because I have a little waist but a big booty, and I always have to go up a size to fit. So buy your everyday jeans knowing that you can alter them. Fit the widest part of you and then tailor in the rest. Choose a MEDIUM wash, and a regular bootcut leg and you'll get tons of mileage out of them. Now, inseams. If you wear mostly heels as your everyday shoe of choice, choose a 33" or so inseam. If you tend to wear flats, you can go with a 31".

The Weekend Jean

I loved my weekend jeans. They were perfectly worn in and holey and there was even a hole in the butt so big that I had to cover it up with a Care Bear patch until some creepy old man gave me a thumbs up and said "Care Bears, eh?" and I retired them. But I got new ones! And they are almost at their perfect worn-iness. Weekend jeans are those really comfy light washed ones (NOT ACID) that go with all of your concert tour t-shirts. I totally can get behind a good pair of weekend jeans, because they usually fit you the best. If you don't have a pair that you are grooming to be some weekend jeans, choose a looser fit, light washed pair and wear them every weekend until they just wear out. Perrrrrfect. Funny story. In high school, while searching for the perfect worn in jeans, I took a cheese grater to a good pair and there was denim stuck in the grater forever. Sorry mom! Anyways, love these but hate that shes wearing them with heels. Don't do heels with your weekend jeans. Hem them so you can do flats or flip flops.

The Totally Rockin' Date Jean

These are the jeans that you wear when out with your significant other that just make your body look INSANE. They should be as dark a wash as possible, hemmed at a 33" because you are definitely wearing them with heels. I must confess, I buy alot of date jeans. They are just super attractive. Also good for parties, work functions, and showing up old boyfriends so they regret ever breaking up with you. Listen; do not buy a date jean because it is trendy. The only time to buy it is if you look in the dressing room mirror and actually look so good you become attracted to yourself. Got it?

The Skinny Jean

I KNOW you have mixed feeling about the skinny jean, and why wouldn't you? They are a fickle, fickle beast. But once you find a pair you LOVE, buy them. Skinny jeans are awesome to do longer shirts and flats with, or of course, my favourite - boots. You must have a pair of skinny jeans to attempt jeans over boots, otherwise you WILL look like a pirate. Remember that skinny does NOT mean tapered. True skinny jeans have a straight, stove pipe leg. Try buying them one size up from your normal size so as not to become severely depressed when you try and wiggle into them.

**BONUS**
The Trouser Jean

The trouser jean is a huge crowd pleaser, but people tend to not think about it. However its SUPER easy to wear and looks good on just about anyone. I don't consider it a jeans staple, per se, but I think its adorable and if you're looking for something new, try it. LOVE.

Now, a word about Boyfriend Jeans. They are totally popular right now, and I like them in the way I like Weekend Jeans, for their kind of adorable sloppiness factor. HOWEVER, I don't approve of pegging them, it looks gross and kind of 80's but not in a retro cute way. Don't stumpify your legs by cutting them off with a huge roll. If you're going to do Boyfriend Jeans, do them with girly versions of what your "boyfriend" would do. A cute graphic tee and some sneaks.

K, so I hope you're all ready to start spring shopping and expand your demin wardrobe. Having a complete one totally takes away the "What am I going to wear." Its an instant outfit. Take appropriate jeans, pair with like-themed shirt and call it a night. Voila!

(All jeans found at Nordstom Denim Shop)

Freaky Friday Don'ts

Oh how I've missed scouring the Internets for ugly clothes. The things I turn up!!


For a romantic, yet casual, dinner date with Boss Hogg.


Did you know the French actually find it offensive when you yell "Garcon!" at a restaurant? I'd be offended if I wore this and didn't get yelled "Garcon!" at.



K, story time. So I had this childhood friend (Who I am desperately hoping does NOT read this blog) who's mom was like the biggest cougar OF ALL TIME. She would come home from work in one of these babies and her leather jacket and make dinner dishes that were like spaghetti in a wine sauce with wine appetizers and a glass of wine. And she would get drunk and teach me and me ten year old best friend about how men were bad and you don't need nobody to take care of you. Moral of the story; wear something like this and I'll imagine that you prey on young, supple teenage boys because you like being a sugarmama. Leopard + bustier is scary. PICK ONE SEXT AT A TIME, coug!




From the Laura Ashley "I give up on trying to look attractive" collection.



This shirt was labeled "Bold Floral." Really? Because thats not what I imagine when I hear the word bold. Its what I imagine when I hear "Now, what can I wear with my white keds and mom jeans?"




I'll take "How to look pregnant even though I am a statuesque supermodel" for 800, Alex.





Scariest. Pants. Alive.

Oh my gosh you guys, I agreed with Billy Bush

So I have a weird confession about my obsession with Billy Bush. Every time he comes on the TV screen for Access Hollywood or Entertainment Tonight or whatever show he's on, my husband and I remark, "Where the heck did he even come from?" Like, he didn't even exist, I'm sure. I think he was grown from a pod somewhere. Add in the fact that he is the ex-president's cousin and its just like, woah. I watch him and note how much he looks like out dear Georgie. ANYHOW, on his entertainment gossip shows, I generally think Billy is kind of a douche. He says stupid things and wonders aloud if "Angelina went blonde for a movie role? Real or Rumor?!" And its like, did people honestly wonder if that was real or rumor? When there is an economic crisis going on??

BUT! Lately, (and you all know of my other obsession with the Today show) he has been filling in for Kathie Lee Gifford on the 1pm hour of Today, and I find him to be a DELIGHT. He is witty and full of anecdotes about keeping things spicy with his wife of like ten years, which is sweet because I'd always assumed he was gay. And its a relief from listening to harpy old Kathie Lee go on about Hoda getting a man, which annoys me because its not like KLG scored so big in that area. She's married to Frank Gifford for pete's sake, its time to get off your high horse there, KLG! And I just find her generally annoying and I wish she would SHUT UP about her stupid lullaby CD she made that no one bought but that the producers insist she give as consolation prizes to those who lose when they do trivia segments. And what a consolation prize it is.

But that's beside the point. Yesterday, during a segment about new trends, they showed some serious accessories and Billy made the comment that they should only be worn when the rest of the outfit is more subdued. He said something to the effect of just like in a living room, if you want something to pop, you let it be the center of attention. And I was like BILLY! You little minx, I agree!

Colour is SO GOOD this time of year. My favourite thing that I'm seeing are bright almost neon looking colours. Only thing is, if you don't wear them right, its going to come across as totally '80s, and not in a cute retro way. More like a scary Belinda Carlisle way. Not cool. So when wearing colours, its best to *gulp* take Billy's advice and DON'T OVERDO IT. Serious colours call for subdued outfits. And absolutely NO. MATCHING. The easiest way to wear colour is in accessories, so if you're loving the neons but not ready to buy yellow PANTS, then try some easier ways to wear them.

Observe.

ANYONE can get away with bright coloured shoes. How to do it: Either with really dark denim paired with an absolutely not matchy shirt (Like, don't wear a pink shirt and pink shoes. It scares me.) I would love the yellow shoes with anything khaki coloured. And please do the Pucci-esque ones with something white. Make the shoes the focus by toning it down elsewhere. I would probably carry a really neutral bag with these too.

Love this little accessory. Put it in your hair or clip it onto a blazer and its like, instant spring happiness.

SUMMER SCARVES. Hallelujah, they are still in for spring. Difference is they are not in brighter colours. How cute would this look with like, a plain long sleeved white tee, some cropped skinny jeans and flats? Ugh like I want to go buy the whole outfit in my head immediately.

K, check out this awesome jewelry. I would totally wear these together. Why? because they DON'T match. Instead, they are totally complimentary and interesting. Just keep the rest of the outfit pretty neutral and don't wear a necklace or earrings and all of a sudden its all "Hey, where'd you get those?"

Yeah, you knew I'd have a clutch up here. Love this one because its a wallet inside with organizers for all of your plastic, and the colour is awesome and will literally go with everything. Its so vibrant that any other colour combo will look intentional, even if its not. For instance, a bright yellow top. You wouldn't necessarily match the two together, but because the green is so bright, it looks interesting anyhow. Don't stress over combinations. Go for interest over coordiantion. It's newer and less stuffy.

Time to swap out your winter bag (black or brown = boo) for something more springy. Again, even if you're like "Yeah, I'm totally not a colour girl" do it with your handbag. It doesn't have to be crazy, just fresher.

So moral of the story: try COLOUR in little ways. And listen to BILLY BUSH.

(All accessories from Shop Suey Boutique, Wet Seal, Forever 21 and GoJane.com)

My Top Ten! Not That it Would Ever Happen...

So have I ever told you how much I enjoy Tim Gunn's Guide to Style? Of all the television fashion people who have their own shows, he is BY FAR my favourite. And not just because he says awesome catch phrases like "Hmm.. this has me concerned. Make it work!" And not just because he used to be like, president of a university and quit to become a designer, but because he ACTUALLY makes sense. I always trust a guy to tell me what looks good on girls. Not just any guy, mind you, but in general, they can tell you if its good or bad. Girls will overanalyze the cut, colour and style, where a guy is like "Meh, I'm really not feeling it." I appreciate that.



So on Guide to Style, Timmy always has a list of basics that ALL women should have in their closet. In fact, when people ask me what are some things they should buy, I always direct them to his list, because it is far more inclusive than anything I could come up with. He is a genius, and I kind of love him.


Anyhow, that being said, if you were to put me at GUN POINT and say "Choose ten things from your closet that you can keep and I'm setting fire to everything else!" I would first cry and beg, then cry some more, then offer to give up my own life first, then cry a little more, go through the 7 steps of mourning, and choose these items. Not saying you must have these in your closet, but it is a really good starting point. No mommyness here!!




1) My favourite pair of jeans. These jeans are perfect, I have yet to find something I don't like about them. I firmly believe that everyone should have a jean "wardrobe"; that is, jeans for just about every occasion in different lengths, styles, washes and fits. I love jeans. But when you find your perfect jean, make a note of it, and buy a few pairs in different washes. I love these Emma cut ones from Abercrombie. They are a perfect dark wash, skinny enough to be trendy but not scary and tapered, and they KILL with a pair of heels. LOVE.


(Abercrombie)



2) A really crisp white button up. I like mine to look mens-weary but with feminine details. The one I own is cut classically, but has like rhinestone buttons to make it firmly a woman's shirt. My most major hint is pick one that looks a little on the long side. Button up shirts ALWAYS end up looking short on people. Choose a long one that you can tuck into jeans or a skirt, and it looks neat and professional instead of sloppy and mommish.


(Venus)


3) A pencil skirt. JUST GET ONE. Pencil skirts make ALL women's bodies look so good, no matter what your size. They do such a good bum huggage thing. I have this grey one and wear it SO MUCH. With my white button up shirt, a pair of really cute pointy heels, and voila. An outfit.


(BodyCentral)


4) A casual but special top. I have long expounded upon how I hate women who shlub around all the time. Even if your only agenda for the day is grocery shopping, make yourself feel better by picking up a few shirts that are comfy and easy to wear, but still cute. Throw it on with a pair of jeans and flats. It took two seconds, but I will guarantee you'll feel better about yourself. Stay away from your husband's oversized Hanes. Please.



(BodyCentral, Forever21)


5) A really basic but well cut tee. Sometimes I think there is nothing hotter than a plain v-necked tee with a cute pair of jeans and heels. It is so easy to do but it looks so good. You know how much I love Express, they are the best place to buy basic stuff at. When buying a plain t-shirt, pay attention to the way it fits. It should be comfy but not baggy. It should be long enough so you're not tugging on it all the time; in fact, one that has a little extra length is great if you're looking to wear one that is camouflaging to the middle area. TRY THEM ON.


(Express)



6) Pointy toed heels. If you don't own a pair, STOP crying about how they look uncomfortable and you have hammer toes or whatever excuse you're coming up with. Find a pair that are comfy and get them. They make your legs look leaner and literally go with everything. My current faves in my closet are a really basic Guess pair. Make sure you have at least one black pair and then branch out into other colours. Wear them to dress up jeans, slacks, skirts, whatever. I have a friend who totally WOULD NOT wear these, until I forced her to try on mine. The first words out of her mouth? "OMG, look how hot these make my legs look." I didn't say I told you so... but I thought it.



(GUESS)


7) A date night top. Can I tell you how many times I hear women complaining that their hubbies aren't romantic or passionate enough? Um, hate to break it to you, but if I came home to see you covered in baby spit and wearing sweats, I probably wouldn't be jumping your bones either. So get an awesome date night shirt, so when you do go out somewhere, your husband or significant other is pleasantly surprised... not only that you showered, but you look like you did when you were dating. I love the sweetness of the lace one, and I love the hardness of the beaded one. I would wear it with a leather jacket and look all hot and biker-chic. Find a shirt that is special, that you feel incredibly attractive in. Your date night might actually last longer than the movie and dinner. WINKITY WINK!!! Thank me later.

(WetSeal)


8) A little black dress. If you've been reading my blog since the beginning and STILL don't own an LBD, then SHAME ON YOU! You should have one. Please for the love of pete get one. They are so perfect for SO many occasions. Try alot on, and choose one that flatters your body the best. Check out Nordstrom.com's little black dress shop for some awesome ideas. I go over there and drool, literally drool. I love really classic ones, mine is cut just like this one, but without the sheer sleeves. I got it from H&M but they didn't have it on their site. BOO.


(Nordstrom)


9) A seriously cute jacket. I love jackets. Ask my husband. When we built our house, he built me not only my own closet in our room, but my own TWO closets down in the mudroom, because he knows of my love for jackets. Trench coats, pea coats, bombers, leather jackets, blazers. I collect them. Why? Because even if what I am wearing is less than fantastic, the addition of a really awesome jacket perks the whole thing up. Its why I hate summer. No jackets. Sadness. You can find awesome ones all over, look for special details and great tailoring. I just bought the leather biker styled jacket of my dreams. I left it in Canada last time was there and harassed my mom to bring it to me. When she arrived a few weeks ago, I hugged her and asked "DID YOU BRING MY JACKET?" She was flattered.

(Victoria's Secret (LOVE!!!) Abercrombie )


10) A clutch. Every woman should have a clutch. It drives me CRAZY when I see a woman all dressed up and looking good, and then have a huge bag slung over her shoulder. Don't get me wrong, big bags have their place. But not when you're dressed up. Even if you're wearing say, your date night top and favourite jeans with a pointy toed shoe, I want you to be carrying a clutch. It is so much sleeker than your every day bag and a little more special. And when out with your husband, you're not bringing diapers anyway. Its freeing to only need a lip gloss!! Pick one in a fun colour, a clutch literally does not have to match anything.

(ShopSuey Boutique)



So there are my top ten if I HAD to choose. Really though, if someone threatened me with paring down my closet to ten items I would slap them silly. That's crazy talk.