Freaky Friday

You guys: I went to a midnight showing of Hunger Games with some friends last night and I am like, mom hungover today. Luckily I just have everything to do so I can't even have a nap. My daughter's school is having a big program today and she was so excited she was up at 6 am sounding like Buddy the Elf and pinging off the walls. 

I'm just sitting here nursing a Crystal Light and talking in a man voice. I'm too old for this stuff. Also, the movie was good, although I felt like it was a little slow and then jammed every piece of action into the last five minutes and I was overwhelmed and regretted the Cherry Coke I drank because I was super twitchy when I got home and tried to go to sleep. Now that is an excellent movie review if I ever heard one.

Also, there was a preview for a Gwyneth Paltrow movie and I felt like the universe was punishing me for being annoyed at her gold juicer. 

On to Freaky Friday! 

Where exactly does one wear a gauze, see-though, floor-length, sleeveless duster? That is too many descriptive words for one garment. 

Tansy sent a snap of these to prove that we're just like, not even trying anymore.

Also, I know this is from H&M because I shop there on the reg, but isn't it like, a store for 20-somethings? What person of that age is like "Oh yeah, I so want to look like a census demographic I AM NOT." 

Thanks for sending this shoe, Julie. I'll wear it the next time I'm playing a game of pickup basketball in the woods. 

Brenda sent this dress, which is Yoko Ono levels of WTH.

YEAH I SAID IT Yoko Ono is crazy. Come at me, weird commenters!

Can I just say I reaaaaaaally dislike when people wear shorts over tights? Especially in the winter? You put those shorts away like a normal human being. Pants are punishment for living in cold climates. 

But then you go too far in the other direction and end up looking like a faaaaabulous Jon Snow.

This 80s sweater owns my soul. I want to wear it with spandex and scrunchies all day while whispering secrets to my PJ Sparkles doll. (It was my only doll that survived the "My older brother just learned how to do graffiti and scrawled all over my dolls' faces" epidemic of 1989.)

So, when I was in elementary school, there was a teacher there (who I am almost positive was named Mr. Blakelock though my mind is a little fuzzy there) who grew a beard each year and then raffled off the rights to shave his face to the students in a lottery called Beardo 649. And it wasn't until I was much older that I realized that it's a little creepy to raffle off shaving rights. 

Also, rumor was that he took the beard hair home and made it into pillows but I can neither confirm nor deny. 

Anyway, I feel like he would have really enjoyed this face hat in the interim while growing out his beard for the next child face shaver. 

I'm not making this any less weird, am I? 

I'm sure the ruffle on this dress is really nice IRL but online it just looks like an unfortunately placed triangle and/or uterus diagram. 

Aaaand with that said, I'm going to go jam a full day's work into two hours and pack for a weekend at the cabin and somehow carve out a few hours to go watch the back of someone's phone as they film their child DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY FACE.

It's my favorite part of school programs, really.