Freaky Friday: Fun With Keywords

Today's Freaky Friday is late because it's my daughter's 5th birthday party and I'm gearing up for the invasion of 12 kids. I'm bolting down breakables, duct taping things to the wall... you know, the usual stuff. But I have a few seconds of downtime, so I think it's time to go through my keywords!

If you've never experience a "Fun With Keywords" post before, it's when I look through my site statistics to find out what people are searching in order to find my site. Since I talk about everything from Full House to uterus pillows, I get a lot of weird ones.


Here we go!

--"Winking oil sexy body"

Sweet mother of mercy, get a girlfriend. Also, I want to know how surprised this guy was when he searched what amounts to Victoria's Secret and ended up here, a website for MOMS. I guess, if you're into that kind of thing...

Awkward.

--"Man coin slot."

What? Why?

--"What does a mom look like?"

Here you go!

'
That should be in the Mullet Hall of Fame. You work it, Carol!

--"Faux fur reindeer shrug."

Um, WTH? Who wears reindeer? And how do you explain that to your kid. You know what would be funny? Putting a blinking red nose on your reindeer shrug. Just for kicks.

--"Obnoxious wedding dress."

OMG you guys, how obsessed am I with wedding shoes? The answer is: very obsessed. I watch an average of 300 "Say Yes to the Dress" episodes PER DAY. And nothing annoys me more then girls who describe their ultimate wedding look to be like a PRINCESS.

But.... you're not a princess.

So I'm basically against any dress that is larger than a Mini Cooper. You'll just be bumping into people all night. THAT'S obnoxious.


Ew.

--"Desperate need to pee/"

WHO takes the time to head to google to type this in? JUST GO! I have nothing more to say to you.

--"Sexy phantom costume."

I hate you for making me do this.

Just so you know, every time you search "SEXY" in front of any costume idea, Hitler eats a baby seal.


--"Lady Gaga dressed normally."





*crickets*




riiiiiiight.

Also, with my awesome typing skills, I first typed her name out as "Lad Gag." Hilarious.

Thanks to the freaks who actually search this stuff. I love logging into StatCounter to see what you crazy kids will come up with next.

Now, I'm off to gird my loins for a child party invasion. Wish me luck.