Freaky Friday

Happy Friday everyone! I wake up every Friday morning overjoyed that I get to search the depths of online clearance bins everywhere to bring you the very best in crappy fashion. I take my responsibility very seriously, and have an entire folder on my computer dedicated to it. It makes my eyes bleed.

On to the freakiness!


I'm sorry, but what am I even looking at here? It looks like these stilettos are wearing a scarf. But one of those weird scarves that everyone used to have in the 80s that made them look like they had llama necks.


Next stop, spinsterhood! (Look closely. Those are dogs and cats on that bag. And ti comes with a matching photo album so you can show people just how desperate and lonely you are.)


I don't care who you are, who made them and how much they cost. Clogs are ugly. They are coming back. I want to hide.


Um, but where would one wear a blue, purple and turquoise flamenco dress? It's hardly wedding appropriate, is it?


Here's a quick hint: If the description of the item uses the words "Band Jacket" at any time, step away. Band wasn't cool when you were 14, and it definitely is not cool now. (The acid wash jeans are primo, though. WHO STYLED THIS WOMAN?)


But why, weird denim outfit with unnecessary chiffon middle, why were you on clearance?


Is it me, or are these leggings extra scary? Graffiti is for buildings, not your scary stretch pants.


Basic rule #4,663. If your child wears something called a "romper", it is not for you to wear one too. Unless you like sharing clothes with your 18 month baby boy Also, you WILL have to get naked every time you go pee. Is it worth it? No. Hey! I wonder if they could make this with snaps up the leg like your baby's? Sure it might be awkward, but so much more convenient for diaper changes, am I right?

Alright, I'm outtie for the weekend. I put myself on a "shopping diet" after my huge lapse in judgment while in Canada, but that was TWO WHOLE WEEKS ago. Brutal.