Freaky Friday: Top Ten Reasons for Clearance Bins

Hey, I love a good deal as much as the next girl. See my Black Friday post for how insane I get for sales. But some things are on sale for a reason. Not because it is the seasons, just because they are horrific and no one will ever buy them. Well, hopefully no one will ever buy them.

In honor of my recent foray into shopping and sales, I give you the Top Ten Reasons for Clearance Bins, all items I found in the clearance section on websites that shall remain unnamed.


1) They make you look like a character from the Wizard of Oz.


2) They look like a horrible science experiment gone wrong. WHY?



3) It makes you look like you have a weirdly hairy chest.



4) It makes you look like your neck got hungry and decided to eat the rest of your shirt as a quick and healthy snack.



5) They. Are. Horrifying.
(Blank stare)



6) It makes you look like you were mauled by an urban leopard. (And really, is the beret necessary?)



7) It is positively guaranteed to make you look pregnant.



8) It makes you look like a server for TGI Fridays. Yeah, don't look so smug homegirl. You're going to be fired for not having any flair.


9) It looks like it was constructed out of your child's K'NEX kit.



10) It ruins my life and goes against everything I stand for. $6 MOM JEANS. Have I taught the world NOTHING? Going to jump off of a building immediately.

So, find sales. Good ones. But when you find an item on clearance, take a moment to ponder WHY it might be on clearance. It might be a fashion pariah that will make you look crazy.