Clever Ways to Hide a Mummy Tummy

Ah, mummy tummies. Even if you work your biscuit on the treadmill daily, it seems like you're stuck with it. I was speaking with one of my nurses when I was in the hospital (after a few weeks in there I became delirious and believed that all nurses were my best friends and would monopolize their time by convincing them to come watch American Idol with me) and she was saying that one of the biggest mistakes mothers make is working out too soon after having a baby. The muscles in the abdomen separate while pregnant, and if you work out before they come back together again, you pretty much set yourself up for the mom pooch. She also said to ask your doc at your 6 week checkup if they;re back together to okay you for exercise. She really was a gem.

The more you knooooooooooooooooow. (Shooting star and NBC logo inserted here.) I try. It's an educational site.

Anyhow, I know I struggle with it daily. It's sad to look at pictures of me at 17 year old and think, "I really did not appreciate that body."

So lately I've been working on being very happy with my body. I read somewhere that the tummy you get after having babies is actually important to storing womanly things like estrogen and whatnot, and I don't know if it's true, but omg I almost burst into tears and and laminated it and put it in my wallet for future reference. Actually, I almost did, but currently I have a laminated quote in my wallet from a magazine by Pamela Anderson that reads "I think Canadian girls are more creative in bed." I'm actually not kidding. What can I say? Pam is my role model.

Anyhow, as part of loving your body, you need to learn to deal with the mummy tummy. I had a very real moment with myself today when I got dressed and then looked at it and thought "K, Jae, NO ONE is looking at you as harshly as you do yourself." And I went merrily on my way. Shopping.

So, dress so that you are showing off your better assets, and camouflaging the mum-tum. It does not have to be front and center, leaving you to think someone may ask you when you're due. How embarrassing.

Here are some clever tactics to make your mummy tummy disappear.

1) A blousy, heavily embellished top.

I think a lot of the time, women are like oh, to dress well I have to wear tight clothes! Um no, that's a dirty lie. I hate seeing squidgy people stick themselves into clothes that show every nook and cranny of your body. It's an overshare. And blousy tops are so IN. Wear with some dark jeans and a cute little blazer and you're good. Extra points for embellishment at the neckline, which will draw the eye up and away from the tummy area. (Shirt: Sears)

2) A serious necklace


This is another trick of mine. I like to use accessories for interest so that no one is looking at the tummy. I do this with necklaces, scarves, huge earrings, whatever. Then people are like "Hey, I wonder where she got that necklace? She must work out." Or at least that's what I tell myself that they say. Just wear something plain with something this serious, preferably, it should be laying against bare skin (read: a low top) (Necklace: Buy.com)

3) A cinch-y belt.

I will confess I lived in a cinched belt for the first few months after having baby number two. Why? Because it kept me locked and loaded, and made my waist look ridiculously small. I would wear it with a structured button up shirt that made everything look good and flat, and then pop a belt on the smallest part of my waist. Instant skinniness. And the studded bow adds a little interest. (Belt: buy.com)

4) A random graphic print

Here's another fave trick of mine. Do you know why stripes are so hard to wear? Because they are so uniform. Any little pucker or bilge, and you are making a nice little "YOU ARE HERE" sign pointed directly at your tummy for all to see. Try a random print that has no uniform shape. This wrap sweater from Nordstrom rocks my world. Everything is hidden and lovely. Remember to choose a print in proportion to your size. The larger you are, the larger the print .Stay away from things that have uniform distances in between the print like polka dots or stripes. I just bought a zebra print shirt and it is prime for this because the print is all over the place. Awesome.


5) A pencil skirt

Pencil skirts are so awesome and naughty secretary and a staple in my wardrobe. I literally have like 16 because I love the way they make ANYONE'S body look. Because they sit so much higher on the waist than traditional skirts or pants, you can lock and load your tummy and look totally toned up. Just choose one from a structured fabric like tweed or plaid, or whatever menswear fabric that tickles your fancy. Just don't be alarmed when you try them on. They are supposed to fasten just above the belly button.

If you have any fave mummy tummy tricks, share! Remember that it's not as bad as you think it is, and AS ALWAYS, dressing well takes the focus away from your body, and places more emphasis on your look. I always say, thank goodness for clothes. I look much better in them than I do naked.

...........................

That was a vivid mental picture I just painted for you.

Stop thinking about me naked.

Geez.