What I Wore: Happy Halloween! I am so embarrassing.

Monday, October 31, 2011

Ready to see me make a huge fool of myself!?

Happy Halloween my awesome friends!!

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If you have no idea what I'm supposed to be, click here to watch what might be the most epic commercial of ALL TIME.

I watched it like five times this morning to make sure I had it right. My two year old walked into the room while it was on and said "Mom! It wooks just wike you!" And then wanted to watch it endlessly, convinced that I was on the computer.

And while the real Sun Drop girl CLEARLY STOLE MY MOVES, I am said to report I'm not actually in the commercial. I LOLed hard when going through these pictures. I am a joke.

See... you don't have to dress like a sexy desk or whatever it is to be super awesome on Halloween. Can't wait to rock this for Trick or Treating... although I might need to keep the commercial loaded on my iPhone at all times in case it's too obscure.

If you're still looking for a costume idea, might I suggest this? Seriously, I bow down.

Alright, fess up. Are you dressing up and what are you going to be?

Jae Tests the Trend: Colored Skinnies

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

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Let me explain my thought process for buying my red skinnies.
1) "I really want some red pants. They are super cool."
2) "Am I too old for this?"
3) "Let me Google some pictures of people wearing red pants. Crap, they're all young celebrities."
4) "I should take a consensus on my Facebook page."
5) "OMG, they are all saying yes... maybe not so ridiculous?"
6) "I should just go look. To the store!"
7) "ZZZZZZZOMG these are amazing how did I ever live without them."

Seriously, these skinnies own my soul. Still, they're red for a reason. It's the closest color to a neutral that I could get. Their shape is perfect and they have an ideal length. If these were seafoam green and flared, I'd look like a psychopath.

Testing this trend made me think about looking trendy and fashionable in general. Probably the thing I hear the most when shopping with friends or recommending clothes to people is "I couldn't pull that off." It's also probably the phrase that annoys me the most. To me, it represents close-mindedness. Because most often, when I hear that phrase, it means you're not even going to try. And not trying is what lands you in yoga pants day after day.

Trends are tricky territory, especially after you've had a couple of kids and you're not ACTUALLY going to be 21 forever. It can be hard to decipher which trends are right for you and which ones should be left to the young, hip and childless set.

Still, there's no reason you shouldn't at least give it a shot. The trick to deciphering trends is to know your tastes and your body shape. I can usually look at a trend in the magazine and know right of the bat if it's something that will flatter me. For instance, trench coats - yes! Capes - no. I need definition around the waist, not at the shoulders.

That being said, there's not a lot in the world of trends that I won't try at least once. Usually it's just a matter of five minutes in a fitting room to decide whether or not a trend is for me. Whether it's peacock feathers, granny boots, dolman sleeves, jeggings or wide leg trousers, they've all had their moments for better or for worse.

I think what you really need to remember is that not everything is going to work on your body. But since you're probably alone in the fitting room, THAT'S OK. You don't have to have the body of a model to try something new. If you hate it, you only need to hand it back to whoever is working the fitting room and leave the store. That's it. No commitment whatsoever. You can handle that, right?

So if you see something in a magazine, on another woman or on a mannequin that you'd love to try, you literally have nothing to lose to give it a shot. If it looks great, hello confidence booster! If not, whatevs... on to the next.

Once you find things that work for your body type and that you love, look for ways to make them more "you." That's the true difference between someone who knows fashion and someone who is just a big fat trend whore. Anyone can buy expensive clothes that are "in," but you don't want to look like you just purchased a mannequin. Instead, find ways to work a new piece into outfits that you typically wear and all of a sudden, you're totally pulling it off. Take my red jeans for example. If I paired them with a graphic tee or something, the look wouldn't be me because that's not how I usually dress. Instead, I reached for a plain tee and my trusty leather jacket, which is practically my signature piece. Now I'm wearing a trend... the trend isn't wearing me.

Now, with that in mind, it doesn't mean you have to give every single trend a shot. I know there are some trends that I know likely won't look great on me and that I never even consider. Not that I can't "pull it off" (whatever the heck that means) I just know they won't be flattering. Like booties, for instance. I prefer a more streamlined look to the leg and I don't like the way they break up the calf. I have never been intrigued by them. But if I see a trend and like the way it looks, why wouldn't I give it a shot?

I just want you to know that perfect body, flawed body, pear-shape, apple-shape, you CAN participate in trends as long as you find ways to make them work for you. That could mean you reach for a graphic scarf instead of a flashy tee or participate in the feather trend by wearing earrings. You can totally embrace more color with a neon belt or printed shoes. Whatever the case, you don't need a complete wardrobe overhaul to look fashionable. Just a couple of key pieces each season and a super open mind.

Or me as a shopping partner. I'm super pushy and kind of mean won't take no for an answer.

What I Wore: Blogliftin' and Lovin'

Monday, October 24, 2011

Fashion blogging is funny because you seriously get to "know" people through their style choices more than you do musing from their lives. I feel like how you dress says a lot about you and that's not just because I'm horribly judgmental. Whether you live in sweatpants or you dress up to play at the park, it tells me tons about you. So when I read fashion blogs I can't help but feel like I know the girls through their outfits. And then I guess who I would be IRL friends with. Lilly over at Lilly's Style? Fo' shizzle we'd be friends and not just because I totally lifted this look from her blog. We have super similar tastes. Check below and on my sidebar for other fashion blogs that I love and that work for different body types... then share the love!

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Tank: JCPenney (bows? I die!)
Cardigan: American Eagle
Belt: F21
Skirt: F21
Sparkly flats: I haven't the slightest clue. I bought them because I went shopping one day in uncomfy shoes and my feet were killing me so I bought a new pair and changed into them then and there. Approximately one-third of my shoe collection has been purchased in this manner.

What I loved about this outfit is that it's such a super casual way to wear a body-con skirt on a daily basis. Genius!

(Sometimes I get really sick of taking pictures. Also, how cute is the length on this boyfriend cardigan? Note to self: Buy 10 immediately.


I love piling on bracelets that don't have anything to do with anything and wearing them together. Here I've got bangles from Nordstrom. my beloved Gucci cuff watch, my leather March Jacobs bracelet and a cheapie cuff from Charlotte Russe altogether and I love it. Also, please note that this is the day I had great hair of epic proportions, which I felt deserved photographic evidence. Seriously. Best hair day EVER.

Some other fashion blogs I think you'll love:
Best for plus sizes: Momma Go Round
Best for eclectic style: clothed much
Best for doable mom style: Mod Milk Momma

What are your fave fashion blogs? Seriously, I'd better be on the list.

Freaky Friday: I Heart My Readers

Friday, October 21, 2011

I've been getting everyone's Halloween costume submissions and I AM LOVING THEM. Some have actually left me speechless. I'm going to do the Freaky Friday Halloween Sexy Costume extravaganza next Friday and I'll also reveal my own Halloween costume. I bet you can't guess what it issss!

But besides vulgar Halloween costumes, my readres are also always sending me the best Freaky Friday submissions. I love you guys. It makes my job easier and makes me think that someone is actually reading this drivel. That makes me feel warm inside and it's not just because I have heartburn from eating PopTarts for breakfast.

Let's do it!

Meleah alerted me that they just released the preview of the Versace for H&M collection. Don't get me wrong, there's a lot of really cool places. The stud dress is ah-mazing. But some of them are so Mya Rudaolph-playing-Donaltella-Versace-on-SNL-ish I can't even stand it.

I feel like I shouldn't have to say this, but let's just make a general rule against pink uterus shapes on your abdomen? OK. Because up close this is a pretty albeit super weird beach scene, but far away it's a treasure map.


This dress makes me feel festive in a cat-getting-into-the-tinsel way.

My younger brother also just informed me that one of my parent's cats has a digestive problem and has been barfing everywhere. I was never so glad to live 3,000 miles away.

I have no idea why I just told you that.


YAY! For when you can't decide how you want to look: awkward and crazy... or awkward and crazy!

I went through a brief fixation with fur vests last year. Thank heavens I didn't give in. This looks like a gorilla, Donatella.


Rebecca sent me what might be the world's most inappropriate boots. Inappropriate for what? Life and mankind. And straight people.


She also sent me this PURE awesome. Anyone else have the urge to reach out and pinch this bum?
Yeah, me neither.
Also, I am always lamenting about how the ugliest part on the male body is the upper thigh. I will add that both front and back of the thigh are equally offensive. Especially on this guy.



Lindsay sent me these boots that she noted would be perfect for self defense. Although, if you're wearing these, you probably deserve to be mugged. Also, I'd love to see you try and run.


I got the best email from Jo who is from my hometown far, far away and reads my blog because her daughter used to work with my brother. How awesome is that? It's from Joe Fresh, which I actually like. Unfortunately, this dress looks like that paper that came in rolls in the 90s and to use it you would have to unroll it and flatten it out. What was that stuff even called? My mom used to make bows out of and stick it on wreaths in our house.

Also, is it me or does it look like that dress would make a weird sound when you walked in it?

It was posted on the Toronto Star website with an option to vote for love it loathe it... but I didn't see one for "kill it with fire?"


My Aussie friend Mina sent me these socks. I wondered if you could just wear them with a bra and call it a Halloween costume, but she said she'd rather wear them to the grocery store to see what people did. I think it's problematic that the capes are only on the socks... does that mean only the calves can fly? Awkward.

As always, thanks to my loverly readers who keep me supplied with the web's ugliest clothes. It makes me oh so happy.

So if you were following along on the Facebook page, you'd know that I was considering the purchase of a pair of red skinny jeans and needed the opinions of my trusted fans before I moved forward. I'm happy to say that you approved and I'm needy, so I went and got my pair at Contagious (local girls, seriously, check it out... they have awesome clothes. Where else can I find a pair of red jeans on Main Street, for goodness sakes.) I'm so excited to wear them today. I have a hot date with Footloose and I intend to pay homage to the red cowboy boots with my red jeans.

See? I really couldn't do it without you guys. Mwa! (That was a kiss or the beginning of an evil laugh.... I'll never tell!)

Also, 10 points to whoever can guess what I'm dressing up as for Halloween. If you're one of the three people I've told YOU CAN'T GUESS and I'll cut you off as a friend. Want a hint? It doesn't involve lingerie OR a tail.

Sweater Weather!

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

After a really weird month where we had summer like temps (I was wakeboarding the first weekend in October) it's finally cooled down here and I'm kind of in love with it. I walked down to a friend's house the other day and she asked if I was freezing because I was still in shorts. Please. My two year old made me carry him the three blocks home UPHILL and I was so hot I briefly considered becoming a nudist.

Of course, with cooler weather comes awesome sweaters and nothing in the world makes me quite so happy. I plan to build up my sweater collection this year, since I tend to stray toward blazers and my sweater collection is woefully underpopulated. So I decided to go online shopping and see what's big this fall for sweaters. Would you like to see what I found? OF COURSE YOU DO!

Stripes:

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Hollister Co boyfriend shirt, $50
H M cotton knit sweater, £15
ANM knit sweater, $50
Almost Famous loose shirt, $22
Old Navy knit sweater, $27


Of course stripes and sweaters are pretty much synonymous, but stripes can be scary and tricky to wear. If you're in love with a cute nautical sweater style, remember to choose a pattern in proportion to your size and look for more abstract prints if you have problem areas. For instance, I am loving the more freeform Fair Isle stripes and they'll let you in on the trend AND be super flattering. Also, stripes on different structures. Don't always think that sweaters must be old school. I love a Dolman sleeve or poncho-like construction. Just not an actual poncho. Ew.

Ladylike:

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Hollister Co scoop neck top, $50
Striped top
H m cardigan, £15
Hollister Co beach top, $36
Floral Waffle-Knit Cardigan, $13


I just cannot handle the level of cuteness here. Bows? Lace? Swoon! Ladylike details are awesome because the cardigan is kind of conservative as it is. The trick is to add balance. I would love a bow cardigan worn with uberhigh heels or a floral cardi and scuffy boots. The juxtaposition of sweetness and something more rebellious makes my heart warm inside.


Boyfriend:

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Hollister Co cotton shirt, $35
Fox hoodie, $32
Soul Cal sweater, £30
Soul Cal ruched top, £20
Cardigan, $25


The boyfriend sweater is supposed to look like you stole a sweater out of your hubby's or boyfriend's closet. I just did a look with one and I'll show you on Monday, but for now you can check these out. Now, just because boyfriend sweaters are in doesn't mean you can just wear a man's sweater. Look for male-inspired details on sweaters cut to fit a woman's body, if you place. Wearing your hubby's Hanes sweatshirt isn't going to fly with me.

Structured:

H m blazer, £25

Remember when I told you that I tend to stray toward blazers? Yeah, I love me some structure. It's magical for making your body look super put together. I especially love blazer construction on a sweater. It ALWAYS looks right. Pair any of these with a scarf, skinny jeans and knee-high boots and you're the cutest mom at the PTA Fall Festival, my friend.

Alright, so fess up... which one of these sweaters would you buy if you could? I'm heavily contemplating that Fair Isle loosey goosey shirt. What is it with me and hippy clothes lately?

What I Wore: Hippy Dippy

Monday, October 17, 2011

I think I usually stray toward straight-laced, more formal styles. If you asked my favorite type of look in general I'd have a hard time choosing between "Girl Next Door" and "50s Mad Men Secretary." lol. By the way, those are both totally real styles. I should know, I just made them up.

I've never really gotten on board with the whole Boho movement. While I totally love me some Nicole Richie-esque maxi skirts, macrame and head scarves just aren't me. So when I saw this crazy shirt it took me a long time to finally just buy it. No joke, I tried it on like, three times and kept asking my mom, who was shopping with me "Is this totally crazypants or what?" I finally just ended up buying it. Because when in doubt, buy and work it out.

Still, it wasn't totally "me" until I style it with my trusty old Fryes. I think it makes the shirt a little more down-to-earth than had I worn this with like, a maxi skirt and some platforms, right? I guess it's a Jae way to dress like a total hippie.

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Top: Local boutique
Belt: Walmart woo!
Jeans: A&F (I have like 90 pairs, sue me.)
Boots: Frye
Leather bracelet: Marc Jacobs
Earrings: F21

I HAD to belt it. It was so impossible for me not to because I felt like the shirt was so floaty that it needed some structure to bring it down to earth a little bit. The crazy print was just TOO crazy.

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I love these earrings. They're made out of shell but carved to look like wings. Aaaand they were like $4, thank you F21. Also, please note that EVERY TIME we take pictures my son wants to get in there and do kiss pictures. I can't say no!

I still don't think I'm totally cut out for boho looks but I guess this is the best of both worlds. I'll still take a pencil skirt anyday.

So now I ask YOU, if you could describe your style, how would you describe it? Tired Mom-on-the-Go? Girls Night Out Rockstar? Pajama Chic?

Also, if you haven't seen this article on The Daily Mail's website, check it out!

Freaky Friday: Pinterest Fails

Friday, October 14, 2011

Most of you know by now that I am utterly obsessed with Pinterest. I just love all of the IDEAS out there. Most of them make me a little angry, because they're so simple and I should have thought of it before, but I love that Pinterest puts those ideas in my head. I actually made my daughter a TUTU. Like, who am I? (It was no-sew, everyone calm down.)

Anyway, one of the awesome things about Pinterest is seeing the eclectic mix of fashion that different people pin. Actually, I saw an outfit on there that I cannot wait to replicate over the weekend. When I'm stumped for new ways to remix my closet, my trusty Pinterest never fails me.

Except when I see things on Pinterest that hurt my heart. Like when people pin bad fashion and pretend like it's good. Or when I see outfits that need to be retweaked. Some aren't even *that* bad, but they could be so much better. Which is what I was talking about when I lamented this very problem on Facebook.

Shall we delve into the belly of Pinterest to see what things bug me? OK! These are actual outfits and clothes pinned on bulletin boards. I did my best not to take any from anyone I followed... so don't hate me if you're like "Hey I pinned that to my Favoritest Clothes Ever board!"


This was listed as "Must have this outfit!" Yes, everyone MUST look like they're 14 and shop at Wet Seal and take everything too literally!


Oh, this outfit. This outfit, this outfit, this outfit. Whoever made this did their very best to stick to a subtle color palette. I can tell.

We've talked about how much I hate matchy, matchiness, right?



I hope you got a pedicure. Because everyone's gonna be lookin' at your bunion.


These aren't shoes. They're a floatation device.


I would like to know in which office it's appropriate to wear what are essentially pink khakis with nude peep-toe booties and the world's most random emerald necklace? But uh, good luck at your new job: unemployment.


Oh, these shorts. While the patterns is HORRENDOUS and a little excessively New Mexico, I believe it's the diaper-like fit that offends me the most. Maybe it's because I actually see my child's diapers on a daily basis, but I just KNOW what this woman's bum looks like. Soggy.


Now, I would like to point out that I *almost* like this and it really shouldn't be on here EXCEPT for a few details that I must point out for the sake of education, if nothing else. First: if you have awesome boots with awesome details, don't hide them under bootcut jeans. These would be so cute with patterned tights and a skirt or dress instead. One of my Pinterest girls referred to these as "Uncircumcised boots" which made me laugh maniacally for at least three minutes. Second, if you're doing two accessories that will essentially lay on top of eachother ie: earrings and a scarf, don't let them be the same color. They will totally blend and you'll lose the interest. If these earrings were gold or the scarf was plum, this outfit would get an A+.


I like to think that I'm pretty adventurous when it comes to accessories. But apparently I'm just not hip enough to rock the bakery trend. Woe is me.


I KNOW the person who created this one had schizophrenia. Plaid dress AND skinny jeans AND super detailed heels AND some random flowers that I don't understand. You go girl.


HA! You thought I was going to say something snarky about these nails, when really I just wanted you to bask in their awesomeness. T-U-R-T-L-E power!!!

If you want to follow me on Pinterest, click here. I think I might start a bad fashion board because I thoroughly enjoy picking things apart. It's what makes me so very delightful to be around. If you have any bad fashion, remember to send it my way. The scary sexy Halloween costumes have started coming in and I am loving them all, keep 'em coming!

Happy Friday, guys!

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