What I Wore: Breakfast at Tiffany's

I am aware that this post is astonishingly late, but just think of what a nice surprise it will be to wake up to Tuesday morning. Oh! Good morning! You're welcome.

Seriously, I have a legit excuse. My famjam went on a weekend getaway down to our fave place, Lake Powell. I never knew that when we bought our little boat that it would turn into this huge summer sporting machine. I took up wakeboarding last year, so I spent most of the weekend doing this:

 I heart it with much hearting, but now my body hurts with much hurting. Whose stupid idea was it to start extreme sports so soon before I turned 30?

Anyway, it was awesome, I was psychotic about sun protection and I ate too many pretzel M&Ms, but my favorite part of the trip has to be this one:

Everyone, meet my dog: Lucy. Lucy is a miniature schnauzer for which I paid an exorbitant amount of money for back before I had children and cared about stupid things like pocket-sized dogs. She is very cute and has a beard.

Lucy is also the wost excuse for a dog I've ever met in my life. She doesn't bark, has a weird fear of cartoon lobsters, hates going for walks and hates me most of all. It may have something to do with me love of dressing her up for Halloween, but that is beside the point. Anyway, my Lucy-Goosey (I hate myself) was on our boat and she was dying to go on my father in law's boat. I should point out that Lucy loves my FIL so much she would literally take a bullet for him, or at least push me in the way so I died instead of him. My FIL drove his boat about six feet away from ours and told me to put Lucy in the water so she could swim over.

Which is precisely when we found out that Lucy can't swim.

Instead of getting her doggy paddle on, she began wildly flailing her paws all over the place and slowly sinking into the lake, which at that point is roughly 90 feet deep. As soon as her sad little head started dipping under the water, I had visions of snorkeling to catch her, which is when I jumped off the back of our boat to SAVE my DOG.

The dog that hates my guts.

And did she thank me for my hard work in rescuing her from a watery grave? Ohhh no. She proceeded to cuddle with my FIL while fastidiously ignoring my presence. Yeah. Lucy: You're a jerk dog. I'm thinking of the most humiliating costume EVER for this Halloween to make up for it.

ANYWAY, that was my weekend in a nutshell: Wakeboarding and dog-saving. I think that's all you could ever hope for from a vay-cay.

But I also have some outfit pics pour vous, which I took the day before I left. Remember when I said I bought a new pair of Tiffany-colored skinnies?

Well hello!

Tank: American Eagle

Sweater: H&M

Skinnies: Ardene (Canada)

Loafers (hee I love saying that): Steve Madden

Necklace: F21

 

I know what you're thinking: Jae, this outfit could only be enhanced by the addition of elbow patches. Never fear, my friends, because I will never say no to elbow patches!! 

 

And, in a serendipitous turn of events, the Tiffany catalog came THE DAY I wore these. Pure proof that I was meant to a) wear these pants and b) buy expensive jewelry. My husband brought this up the stairs to me and then looked at my pants and back at the catalog envelope again and then handed it to me in disgust. 

Anyway, after five days of sleeping on the boat and not showering, I suddenly have the urge to wear these pants and pretty shoes again. If you see me tomorrow, pretend like I'm not double-dipping outfits, k? 

And now, a shower, catching up on work emails and eating dinner at 8pm. Oh yeah.

Fall Trends for Non-Weirdos

I always end my trend report titles with "for Non-Weirdos" because quite frankly, like 95 percent of the fashion shown on runways is cool, but in no way practical for real life, much less real life with children. Still, I like to watch and see what kind of trends I can decipher underneath the makeup, frizzy hair and vapid expressions. And I'm actually pretty excited with what's coming up. Wanna see? Of course you do!


New School Grunge

When you think about "grunge" as a style, you're probably thinking about the 90s and let's face it: the 90s were not kind to fashion. Instead of like, oversized Dazed and Confused flannel, look for better-fitting stuff and accent it with leather. I think biker vests are going to be pretty huge this fall and winter. Biker boots are also a must, but find a way to girl-ify the look. A super-feminine necklace says "I'm a cool biker chick" instead of "I'm a butchy lesbian." Not that there's anything wrong with that... I'm just sayin'.

Red-Orange

Remember how spring was all about coral? Well, fall is all about red-orange. It's this crossbreed of both colors. I love it because it's fresher than red and more fall-y than the coral color we saw all summer long. I really love it with nudes... not like paintings of nudes. Nude shades. Geez, do I really have to explain this? Anyway. It's gorg.

Bows... on EVERYTHING

Dorothy Perkins / Dorothy Perkins / Kitten heel shoes / River Island clutch purse, $24 / Hive & Honey wire jewelry / Kate Spade gold jewelry

Being the Girly McGirlyson that I am, I'm always happy when bows are the main feature of any outfit. And unless you wrap yourself up like a present, there's not much wrong you can do with bows. I'm in love with bows as accents and little details that make a look really girly, but then there's a few rock-inspired elements to temper the look. Teal jeans are so rockstar, but the bows on the shoes make it more girly. I love.

Oxblood

Despite being the most disgusting name for a color ever, oxblood is like THE color for fall. It's a darker, more brown-infused version of maroon, and it's super duper rich. I like oxblood most with gold accents because they pop against the deep color. This would look AH-mazing on people with fair skin.

Going Baroque

If you're going to buy something patterned this fall, let it be a baroque pattern. This tapestry inspired look was done by Alexander McQueen in the spring and it's finally trickling down to us mere mortals. How hot is this look for like, a date night? The pattern makes the shirt special and the best part is that it gives you so many options when matching up accessories. Just don't go too old-fashioned. You want a modern, streamlined look... not the Count of Monte Cristo.


Did I also mention gold? Gold on everything. Fall is all about saturated colors and layers and they look best with gold accents, so step away from the silver!

So, which is your favorite look? I'm super partial to bows, but I'm definitely in the market for a leather vest. My biker dad probably has one, but I feel like Biker Broad probably isn't the best look for me.

What I Wore: Me? A Blogger?

Last week I was up at my parent's house visiting when a family friend came over. While chatting, he said something about my being a blogger and I was like wait, what? Apparently, my parents have talked to him about my job, indicating that I'm a "blogger," a title that I still have a hard time with. I don't know why! It's like, I obviously have a blog, but it's such a teensy part of my job that I have a hard time talking about it. Seriously; ask me about my blog in real life and I get so awkward and uncomfortable and sweaty. I'm like "Wait, people actually read this stuff?"

Even with my outfit pictures... I don't consider them all that "bloggy." Better blogs have cool pictures taken in awesome locations with like, face fans going to create perfect hair blowout, but all you get from me is an outfit shot in front of my stairs. I am totally aware that it's like, the least amount of effort put into outfit shots ever, but I can't remember the last time I had a spare moment to actually go somewhere and take pictures of myself. Most of the time when I have a spare minute, I want a nap, not pretty pictures.

One thing I definitely want for this blog is that you guys find it above all, accessible. I don't want you thinking "Oh, that's fine for her if she doesn't want to wear sweatpants every day, but obviously she doesn't have kids clamoring for her attention and has hours to shop, put together cute outfits and then take magazine quality shots of herself each day with a $4,000 camera." Because I absolutely don't. All I want to show are outfit ideas, which are sometimes totally ruined by rogue preschoolers wandering through the shot or crappy lighting because it's raining outside or an open cupboard in the background stuffed with 90 different types of cereal because I'm good at a lot of things, but remembering to close cabinet doors isn't one of them.

Sorry for the random tirade. I've just been thinking the last week about how being identified as a "blogger" makes me all squirmy and uncomfortable, much like the use of the word "moist" in everyday conversation. In the end, I don't think I want to be known as a blogger as much as I'd like to be known as just a regular girl with a couple of kids who happens to own a lot of shoes and likes writing about it. I am aware it's infinitely less catchy, but it makes me feel a lot more comfortable.

So, as usual, you get Monday pics in front of my stairs. One day I'll find a cool urban neighborhood and snap shots in front of a graffiti-covered wall, but let's face it: I live in Utah. Both urban neighborhoods and graffiti are fairly hard to come by.

Shirt: H&M
Skirt: modbod (OMG I love it so much)
Shoes: Charlotte Russe
Bracelet and ring: F21
Necklace: Local craft fair

And, as a regular girl with a couple of kids who happens to own a lot of shoes and likes to write about it, I can never, ever say no to a ruffled skirt. Please. The cuteness level is near disgusting proportions.

I love love love the way this skirt kicks up a bit in the back. Please be more feminine. Hence why I felt it needed to be paired with something a little more serious. This could get a little cupcake-y if you're not careful.



I've officially worn this necklace with everything I own lately. You're probably going to see it a lot.

Anyway, what I really should say is thanks for sticking with me and my little blog/website/whatever this is, even though I don't DIY anything, don't entertain with skewered foods, don't go to crazy parties in the city, take pictures from the comfort of my home (and sometimes by a 6-year-old) and become visibly uncomfortable anytime someone even mentions that I have a blog. I think you're all super fantastic.

Kisses,

Jae

Freaky Friday

Ah, Friday. I let myself sleep in until 7 and with the exception of a workout, haven't done much. Um, can I still claim jet lag from a three-hour flight at this point? Probably not.

Also, with all of the Fashion Week news my brain is swimming with fall outfits. WHY is it still 88 degrees here? I want blazers! All day long! I bought a pair of Tiffany blue skinnies in Canada and it's too hot to wear them. First world problems, I know. Anyway, check back next week for some awesome trend predictions and outfit ideas, even if it hasn't cooled down. I'll probably get desperate and start wearing fall clothes and sweat profusely and then ask people "Isn't it a bit chilly today?"

I also bought a rad (can we bring rad back?) pair of moccasins that I want to glue to my feet and never take off. They say "I want to be comfortable and just the slightest bit condescending toward Native Americans."

Anyway, onto the badness! Thanks to the readers who contributed!



At first, I thought this was a dress and was worried for this woman's sexual health. But then, I realized that it was a romper and am now worried for my mental health. WHY are these still being worn?


For when you want to say "I'm single, and I prefer to keep it that way." (Thanks Kate!)


Anytime I see pants like this, I can only think of how BAD cellulite would look squidging through the cracks. I think that means I'm officially old.



Please tell me I'm not the only one who hates these heel-less shoes. They look like giraffe hooves, which is fine if you're going as a sexy giraffe for Halloween and all...

...but then I would hate you and who wants to risk that?


'Merica.



I hate this model for being so gorgeous and nailing that bun so perfectly, but then I can feel smug that she's pretty, but she's also wearing a fringed diaper and a honky tonk shirt. I now feel superior.


Ohhh these shoes. I just bought some adorable Steve Madden leopard-print loafers, but now I fear they are aren't bedazzled enough. How can I live with myself?? (Thanks, V!)


Oh pretty model, you just can't win, can you?


My friend Sarah sent these over to me. I had to read the description to figure out what they were. Guys, these are culottes. Like, a skirt/pants love child. But the pants droop down in the saddest way possible. I am not experiencing flashbacks to when I actually wore culottes.

In 1989.



The knitted shorts thing has got to go, as referenced by this pair sent over by Brooke. Tell your grandma to stop making them and switch to scarves instead. Please. Do it for the children.


Well, I should probably get productive and stop looking at pictures of clothes all day. Sigh. Life s hard.

Home Again. Home Again

Hey guys! I made it back from my foray 'cross the border. While I was in Canada, I made the world's stupidest decision to watch the movie "Like Crazy," in which a couple is separated when the girl is deported back to England and spent the rest of the week paranoid that it would happen to me. Good times, good times.

Also, I pride myself in always being prepared for anything at the airport. Flying with a three- and six-year-old, I have to be on top of my game at all times. I'm always on time and have the process down to a science, usually going warp speed through security.

Until yesterday, when on the way to the airport we were stopped dead because the main highway was shut down for a police investigation (oh, Toronto). It resulted in us skidding into the airport 25 minutes before takeoff and doing a full-on, "Home Alone" run through the terminal with my kids. I kept having to remind myself that although I was completely embarrassing myself in public, I would never see any of those people again in my life. I was all hot and flushed during the security and I practically had a seizure when the 9 million-person family in front of me was stopped for extra checkpoints. After yelling "HUSTLE!" for the 60th time at my kids, we finally made it on board with about 10 minutes to spare. I was so worked up that I spent the $5 and bought myself satellite TV on the plane. Nothing that a Kardashian marathon won't fix.

Oh, did I mention that I totally traveled in workout pants? I NEVER travel in workout pants but that's what was clean. If anyone saw me at the airport, I was the sweaty one in the hat. Eastern humidity ruins my hair.

Just a reminder that sometimes, stuff doesn't go as planned. After 12 hours of nonstop travel yesterday, I have never been so excited to see my bed and my beloved desktop. Oh, and my husband. Very glad to see him as well. But I really, really love my desktop.

After all that, I'm back and in action. My youngest has his first day of school and I'm playing catch up, but I've received some seriously awesome reader contributions for Freaky Friday tomorrow so we'll be back in business.

Anyone else have some good "traveling with kids" stories for me? I'm starting to feel really bad at the eye-darts I was throwing at the lady who told me that my bag was 1 lb. (ONE POUND) overweight. Kill me.

What I Wore: Too Busy

I'm headed to the Great White North tomorrow bright and early, so today is a laundry, packing, find birth certificates, passports and green cards, buy stuff to make my kids be quiet on the plane, tie up loose ends kind of day. Also, my hubs bought me an iPad over the weekend, so I also have big plans to download all manner of brain-decaying cartoons onto it for the flight tomorrow. I have a firm "parenting rules don't apply at 30,000 feet" rule when we're flying. I'm all about tons of junk food and cartoons to survive.

I hopped out of bed at 6 and have been going full-steam since then, but I'll take a sec to update the blog because I'm just organized like that. Unfortunately, I'm too busy to think of a cutesy name for today so you're just gonna have to deal.

Tiered top: Local (My Sister's Closet I really have to stop shopping there)
Jeans: Local (Contagious)
Cardi: Love on a Hanger
Espadrilles: Soda
Cuff: F21

I felt like color-blocking last Thursday, so I brought out the yellow skinnies and added this cardi. I Wore this over to the elementary school for "Back to School" night. I am such a MOM.

And in the name of honesty, I should say that the cardigan lasted about five minutes because I was too hot.

Luckily the outfit still looked good... just decidedly less color-blocky... without it.

Of course, the best part of the outfit are the accessories:

He's been working out lately.

Alright, I am off to run like a chicken with it's head cut off. Hooray! I also remembered where my son's birth certificate is! I feel so organized.

..until I look in my laundry room.