How to Wear Florals Without Looking Like an Old Timey Plantation Owner

If you've been in a mall, read a magazine or walked by an Urban Outfitters in the past like, two seconds, you'll notice one massive trend for spring: florals. And these aren't your modern graphic florals, but rather Laura Ashley-esque pastel florals in large amounts. The can be jarring to look at. And yes, if you wear them the wrong way, you WILL end up looking like an old timey plantation owner. But wear them right and it's super flattering and on point with spring trends.

Floral peep toe pumps, $70
Black pump shoes, $30
Peep toe heels, $45
Black Poppy Black Poppy Floral Bow Toe Ballet Flat, $20
Rocket Dog Own It Floral Pump, $45

If you don't want to go whole hog, florals on accessories like shoes can totally update an outfit without making it seem like you just wandered from Tara. Floral in small amounts is super appropriate, and how adorable are these shoes? Seriously. Buy them all. When wearing florals on your shoes, avoid matchy matchiness up top. I would do a pump with a medium wash jean and a crisp pin tucked shirt, or a flat with an a-line khaki skirt and scoop neck tee. Neutrals are best because they aren't so overwhelming with the busy patterns on the shoes.

Flower print dress, 25 GBP
Flower print dress, 25 GBP
Floral skirt, $38
Strapless Watercolour Floral Maxi, 30 GBP
Floral print skirt, $81

Now, if you're ready to venture into floral clothes, skirts and dresses are a natural next step. They are pretty and girly and adorable. Remember that to look current, you want florals that are smaller and more traditional in patterns. What I REALLY love is when it looks like a traditional floral print has been enlarged, like on that maxi dress. Wear with a pale pink cardigan and you are adorable. Also, floral skirts lend themselves well to edgier pairings. I might do a flowy floral skirt with a leather jacket to temper the sweetness.

Miss Selfridge floral top, 22 GBP
Old Navy vintage top, $18
Dorothy Perkins crewneck cardigan, 28 GBP
TFNC chiffon top, 30 GBP
Daytrip crop top, $30

Finally, the floral tops. I have like 60,000 because I love them so much. They are super easy to wear since they have random patterns and can hide any trouble spots. Just remember to look for patterns according to your own size. If you are medium-sized, look for medium-sized flowers. The important thing about wearing these new-school florals is to make sure they have modern cuts. There's a massive difference between wearing a floor length Laura Ashley jumper and wearing a cleanly-cut cardigan.

Forever21 peep toe heels, $32
Platform shoes, $23
Wedding handbag, $30
Pearl jewelry, 3.60 GBP
Betsey Johnson vintage jewelry, $25
MNG by Mango belt, $32

Now, the new way to wear florals is with neutrals. Particularly nude neutrals. (Did I ever tell you that if you ask my husband what his favorite color is, he'll always respond neutral? I have no idea how we ended up married.) Anyway, I still don't mind a little pop of color. I sometimes wear my fave pink floral cardigan with my red shoes because I like how romantic the red and pink are together. But everything else? Tone it down! Or I will assume you have a Southern accent and pick cotton sometimes. PS I love those buckle-y pumps and must own them IMMEDIATELY.

So are you going to give the floral thing a go?

Getting Married--No Problem

Tighten up all your Trouble Spots for Your Big Day!

Making sure your wedding is absolutely perfect takes a lot of time and planning. You are meticulous right down to your thank yous. Since you've taken a lot of time to pick out the best dress, you definitely want to look your best in the dress, so what do you do now....

Since time is of the essence, you give yourself the best most effective workout in the least amount of time. Unfortunately you can't spot reduce, what that means is that if you want to lose some inches off your triceps or trim up your tummy and legs, you can't simply do 1000 sit ups every day or hundreds of tricep push downs and expect the inches to disappear. You will need to work your entire body to get you in wedding perfect shape!

Here is a sample workout to get you started. The trick is to keep your heart rate up and do exercises that use lots of muscles at once.

Do a warm up for about 5 minutes before hand to make sure your muscles are warm and then begin your workout.

Start out with 30 seconds of each of the next 7 exercises. Move from one to the other with no rest.
1. Jumping Jacks
2. High Knees (run on the spot lifting your knees as high as you can)
3. Push ups (on your knees)
4. Mountain Climbers (go into a plank position and drive your knees into your chest quickly)
5. Crunches
6. Bicycle
7. Plank

Squat with a Shoulder Press- 1 min
Be sure to hold your belly button in and exhale as you come up and press up.




Twists- 1 min (keep your belly button pulled in)
Rotate to each side



Lunge with a Bicep Curl- 1 min
Be sure to press up through the heel of
the front leg, and keep the pressure off the back leg.


Push Ups- 1 min
If you are just starting out, start on your knees. Keep your belly button
pulled in. This helps to protect your back.

Tricep Overhead Extension

The trick is to use a weight that is heavy enough for you to really feel your shoulders, biceps and triceps. Push yourself hard and you will get awesome results. You are going to repeat starting with the jacks at least three times. Don't rest until you finish your triceps, then take a drink and little break and get right back into round number 2:)

Of course with any program, if you want to see the best results, make sure you are eating well. You can't work out hard and eat crap and expect a great looking body. Take out the refined sugar, processed foods and you are off to a good start.

Add some interval training 2-3 times a week with this weight workout 3 times a week and you will be smoking hot in your beautiful dress.

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

Eat These Foods and Drop Pounds

It's no secret that I say 80% of how you look and feel is based on what you eat, so that's why I'm going to give you some of the best foods you should eat and make a regular part of your diet. They will give you energy and they will help you shed those unwanted stubborn pounds that seem to linger around your butt and stomach--augh!!

Instead of spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on crazy diets you are better to simply pick up better foods that will give you the body that will cause envy.

Oils.

People always ask me what oil is best. The only one I keep stocked in my house is olive oil. I use it for everything. I cook with it (I know some oils lose nutrition value when heated, but I still only stock olive oil), I use it in protein shakes and even for salads. It plays an important role in the digestion and absorption of nutrients. I always choose extra virgin olive oil, which is packed with antioxidants and the good fatty acids that we need.

Eggs

Protein is not the only great thing eggs can offer us. They have an anti-inflammatory effect, plus eating the yolk which contains vitamin D can have a positive effect on strength and performance. I would strongly recommend buying a free range egg. I don't eat anything but and you will literally see the difference. Free range eggs have thicker shells and a brighter yolk. They may be a little more money but definitely worth it. Try farmers markets, I always get great deals there.

Leafy Greens

I have to admit, these are not the biggest hit amongst my kids but I never stop trying. Things like spinach, romaine and even spring mixes will give you the biggest nutritional value for your buck, and butt:)


Beans

Not a favourite among many but they are packed with nutrients and antioxidants, they have cholesterol-lowering soluble fiber, protein, b vitamins and complex carbs. Did you know that one cup delivers the same amount of protein in lean beef for a fraction of the cost??

Lean Beef

I know you've heard to stay away from red meat, it causes high cholesterol and too fatty. Reasons for not skipping an eye of round or top sirloin: it is high in leucine which is a powerful amino acid that stimulates protein synthesis and muscle growth. It also contains ion and zinc. You need iron for oxygenating your muscles and you need zinc to support immune function and to recover, repair and grow after you exercise.
(Nutritionist Keidi Skolnik)

Did you know that beef is a thermogenic? That means your body has to work harder to digest it so you will burn more calories by eating it.

Now I have to admit that I only eat free range meat. For me I don't like the idea of extra hormones as well as I like my protein to walk and graze in the open.

Nuts

These tiny things have sometimes received a bad rap based on their fat content. But I can't tell you how great they can make you feel. They are perfect for protein and fat content and give you the perfect amount of energy. Nuts have a very low glycemic index and are loaded with antioxidants. Just be sure not to eat the entire container. Although they are tiny, they will go along way... stick to about 10-15 of the little guys or you could dramatically increase your calories.

Oh, be sure to avoid the salted, flavoured kind. Remember plain is best:)

The following is a sample of what you should be eating:

Breakfast: 1 cup cooked oatmeal, with dash of cinnamon and raisins or cranberries. I pear and 4 pecan halves.

snack: 1 apple with low fat cheese string

Lunch: Green leafy salad with vinaigrette dressing. 4 oz of skinless chicken breast

snack: 1 cup grapes with 10 almonds

Dinner: 4 oz of top sirloin steak, 1/2 cup cooked brown rice with sauteed veggies in 1 tsp of extra virgin olive oil, 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

Freaky Friday: Why I Hate Other Parents

My aunt in Canada sent me a link to weird baby products and I laughed SO HARD. And while some of them can't actually be considered fashion, it's my blog and I can do what I want. Plus, some of them have to do with baby fashion which I take very seriously. For instance, it bugs me when babies legs aren't covered. I know that is neurotic.

Anyway, I always say that I hate most parents. That doesn't mean ALL parents, just the stupid-baby-naming, overbearing, spend-too-much-on-dumb-products, look-at-my-child-shes-gifted variety. I like the way I was raised: my parents just turned us loose in the backyard and told us to come in when it was dark. We certainly didn't have any of this stuff:


Baby contrast top, to aid in eye development. You know what else aids in your child's development? Going outside. That way you get fresh air and you don't look like the frumpiest mom at NASCAR.


Ooh, the wrist handkerchief. Otherwise known as MY SLEEVE.



Anybody want some sperm earrings? Anyone?

Crickets.

I like the stylish ones.


I actually think this is the most brilliant idea of all time and must buy one immediately. It's a ride-on vacuum cleaner. Hooray for child labor!!

Story time! So, during my second pregnancy I had to have three ultrasounds per week from 24 weeks until 34 weeks, when I delivered. Do you have any idea how proficient I became at reading ultrasounds? Like, the tech would start doing measurements and I would be like yes, yes that's the profile and there's the largest fluid pockets and get on with it I have a busy schedule of watching The View in my hospital room. Moral of the story? I never want to see another ultrasound EVER AGAIN. Much less on cufflinks. Like... your baby looks like a sea monkey on the screen. Here! Let's make it a tiny sea money and show everyone obnoxiously!


The breastfeeding simulator. The only thing more awkward to me than nursing in public would be PRETENDING to nurse in public.

(I said FOR ME. I don't care if anyone else nurses in public. Free show!)


This seems safe.


These are called the Morning Chicness bags. Barf in style. I think I just came up with their new slogan!


Here Billy, hold still while the cat vomits on your toothbrush.

Also, I would like to know if the cat heaves and hacks for like 3 hours before spitting out onto the toothbrush. Because that would be very realistic.


The placenta brooch, from none other than ETSY! You keep it in your freezer, blend it into a smoothie and bury it in your backyard for the neighborhood dogs to find.... why not wear it on your shirt, too?


The scent of squishy, salty dough gets me in the mood.


Hey, I'm no potty training expert. But I feel, in general, that if your child is old enough to fetch supplies and climb surprisingly steep stairs to get to the changing table, he may be ready to not poop in his pants anymore.


Look. I travel with my kids all the time. I know how awkward it can be. But taking 10 minutes to wrestle your baby into a harness so you can HANG HER ON A PUBLIC BATHROOM WALL is not the answer. Someone WILL call Child Protective Services.


Note that these are not the helmets made for cranial adjustment. These are simply for overprotective parents. Please, my son fell on his head like 90 times a day when he started walking. He seems fine now. Ish.

But seriously. Way to put your child on the fast track to being the "special" kid on the playground.


Likewise to the kneepads. Your baby is not a carpet layer.


Ugh, don't you hate when your kid has to pee in the car? Just pass back this glorified water bottle (don't get it mixed up with your actual water bottle!) and then drive around town with urine sloshing around in a cup. Yum!


This is the most disturbing thing I have ever seen.

On the bright side, hey! Matching kneepads!

K, so both of my kids were born with Fraggle-like hair, so I don't understand. Moms of bald babies, is it really that shameful? Is it really better to give your child a weave? Homegirl looks like she's spend one too many afternoons in the beauty shop with Shaniqua and the gang.


And that concludes why I hate other parents. Because there is even a market for ANY of these products.

Excuse me, I'm going to fake breastfeed my five year old now.

Splurge or Steal: Makeup

Cosmetics are a multi BILLION dollar industry. You know why? Because it SO HARD to walk into a Sephora without dropping $100. Their dang salespeople are so convincing and like "Hey girlfriend lets hook you up!" And I am lulled into a trance wherein I purchase things I don't need like hydrating gel. I KNOW.

There's always going to be a battle between pricey makeup and drugstore brands. Which is best? Do you get what you paid for? Are you crazy for spending $30 on mascara?

The answer is: it depends. Makeup can make you feel AMAZING, so when you spend coin on facepaint, make sure you're spending it on stuff that will really make a difference. Note that this is different for everyone. I'll tell you what I spend money on when makeup shopping, and which stuff I slum.

Foundation - Spend. Foundation is a big deal to me. It all started when I was 17 years old and realized my pores were literally the size of dinner plates. Seriously. Put a chicken dinner in those things. I like the foundation gives me a smooth surface to work with while helping the rest of my makeup to stick. My problem? I have freakish coloring. Normal makeup makes me look like a Simpson. Since I have dark hair, makeup counter girls expect me to have golden skin. NO NO NO. I have pink skin. When I finally found a good match, I was hooked for life. So it's no biggie for me to use Bare Minerals -- $25 every three months or so is worth it to me not to look like I have jaundice.

2) Lipstick and gloss -- Mostly steal. Why? Because I am FICKLE. I buy lipsticks all the time that are soon left at the bottom of my dusty makeup bag. In general I prefer bright pinks, but I like red too. Gloss is basically the same no matter where you buy it, so I don't care if I buy a $1 or a $25 brand. It'll look the same. When it comes to lipstick though, you're going for WAY more pigments. The only time I say splurge is by going into a makeup counter and trying on various colors BEFORE you buy. Purchasing a $20 tube this way will save you money over buying 9 $5 tubes that you never use at the drugstore.

3) Eyeliner - STEAL STEAL STEAL! It's no secret that I love E.L.F.'s liquid eyeliner pens. Seriously, I have them in almost color. And they are $1. I love a cat eye, and I've been using liquid liner for years. It's by far the best I've ever tried, even when compared with pricier brands. It's just super foolproof to apply, which is a must because liquid liner can get messy.




Mascara - Spend. Now, this is MY personal preference. But I think mascara makes a ha-yuge difference in my appearance and I often wear only mascara, so it's important to me that I get the most bang for my buck. A couple weeks ago I splurged for Dior Blackout. I usually wear DiorShow but I thought what the heck? The stuff goes on like liquid vinyl and makes me look like I'm wearing false eyelashes all the time. Seriously, as long as a mascara gives me Minnie Mouse lashes, I'll pay anything.



Eyeshadow - Both. When it comes to eyeshadow I only splurge on colors I wear on a daily basis. My top three colors are reddish brown, plum and gray, so I tend to buy those in singular mineral pots. Anything else? Steal for sure. When am I really going to wear green eyeshadow? Like... never. So I buy it in a huge palette to get the most for my money for colors that I wear once in a blue moon.



Blush and Bronzer: I wear bronzer on an almost-daily basis. So you'd think that I would spend a ton of money on it. Honestly? I used Bare Minerals for a while and ran out, so I switched to something I got from the drugstore and really couldn't tell the difference for the money. So I'm a cheapie bronzer girl now. As for blush, I prefer cream over powder, which can be harder to find. My favorite is Victoria's Secret of all brands, because it comes it superbright colors and in a stick, which is like 500 times less messy than a pot.

Now, before you decide what you're going to spend and save on when it comes to makeup, think about your best features. You'll notice that I spend the most money on my eyes. That's because I enjoy them and want them to stand out. If you have really pretty lips, splurge on lip products. Super awesome cheekbones? Blow it on blush. Only spend money where you need to and the rest won't have to be a million dollar makeup job. Also, don't be afraid to invest in products and colors that you use on a daily basis. Often they last longer on the skin and they become staples in your makeup bag. Crazy colors and things you just want to "try?" Go cheap first... if you really end up loving it you can purchase a pricier version next time. If you realize you look crazy, it can then go guilt-free to the place where all scary cosmetics go:

My vanity drawer.

Before and After

I don't know if all of you realize, but Kelly, who does our Monday fitness posts, is actually my cousin. Both of us grew up without sister (she has one brother, I have four) so she's the closest thing I have to a sister. Despite our 10 year age difference, we're super close. She lives outside of Toronto, so I see her every few months, whenever I can fly up there. Anyway, our favorite thing to do when I'm at home is to go shopping. You see, Kelly is a personal trainer and she absolutely LIVES in workout clothes. I'm forever pestering her to wear other clothes and generally making fun of her. We make fun of each other a lot in my family. Her poor husband has to take a deep breath whenver I'm around because it means Kelly is going to be spending a lot of money. Before she went on a trip to Europe I took her out and could have fed a small third world country. Sorry Tom. Last time I was home, she had a party to go to and enlisted my help to get her a new pair of jeans that actually FIT her ridiculously tiny body and didn't, IN ANY WAY, look like yoga pants.

Observe:


This is Kelly's before picture. Yes, we were creepy and took pictures in the fitting room. DEAL. This is how Kelly is dressed for work and usually when we hang out UNLESS it's a party or something. Granted, she totally needs to live in workout clothes because that's her job. I don't begrudge her. I do make fun of her, but I don't begrudge her. (Kelly, I can hear you cackling from here.)

Now, the thing about Kelly is she has a bangin' trainer's body but is always covered up in sweats. Her request was for a pair of jeans that actually fit. We tried a few stores and I convinced her that it was time to cough up some coin for a really good, staple pair.

We were looking for a few things: dark wash, misses sizing (this is not the time to squeeze into juniors jeans) and very little spandex in the denim. We found her a pair that she loved and was willing to spend the money on:


(Jeans and top, GAP. Cardigan, shoes and necklace, Costa Blanca)

After! Super cute, right? When I was dressing her, I wanted to keep some of her sportiness, which is why I kept her top basic but added a sequin cardigan. You never want to feel overdressed in your own clothes. Then we added a pair of heels and she was ready for her husband's work party (he's a firefighter.) We also tried the outfit with flats too, so we could make sure she could wear it on a daily basis as well.

When I was snapping pictures, I went back through to have Kelly look at the before and after side by side and she was like OH MY GOSH. Having a good pair of go-to jeans makes you look slimmer and more importantly, feel better. She still lives in yoga pants and Lululemon for work, but now she knows how easy it is to throw together a quick outfit for parties, hanging out with friends and going shopping with me. (Yes, that is a hint that you should wear your jeans when we hang out in a week... just saying.)

Anyway, Kelly works hard posting her fitness tips each Monday and I wanted to give her a day off while spotlighting easy changes that you can make to your daily wardrobe.
1) A good pair of jeans that FIT WELL.
2) Basic but well-cut tops that have interest. Hubby's tees need not apply.
3) A bit of jewelry.
4) An open mind. Kelly never balks at anything I put her on. She is one of my favorite people to dress because I've never heard her say "I can't pull that off" or "I don't know if I can." She just loads up the clothes and tries them on and looks pretty. YAY KELLY.

Then I get a Cinnabon and eat it while she nibbles the edges = why I'm not a personal trainer.

Anyone else want a makeover?

Freaky Friday: Handbags

Since we covered a little bit on purses this week, I thought it would be super fun to cover handbags for Freaky Friday. Honestly, I was not expecting to find that much. Handbags are usually pretty respectable right? Super wrong actually. There was a wealth of ugliness to be shared. Aren't you lucky? The best part about these bags is that they were all wildly expensive. Happy Birthday, hope you like crap!


Wait..... you're telling me this bag is MADE OUT OF A SOCCER BALL? You are joking.

Also, I'd like to point out that I found this one a site called "Stuff Lesbians Like" (There's one for the search terms!) Stereotypical much?


My best friend used to have this habit of turning touching moments sour by making it sound like she appreciated it by saying "Awww." Then she would turn it into a pretend vomit. Like "Hey, you look nice today." "AwwwwwwwwwwUGHHHH (finger stuck down throat).

I didn't even remember that she did this until I saw this Snoopy diaper bag. SERIOUSLY? Snoopy?



Story time! So my dad is the quietest, humblest, most well-behaved person that you'd ever meet. He worked for 30 years for GM and we never heard a peep about it. Just day in, day out he'd do what he had to do. You wouldn't even know he ever needed a break except when you'd hear him in our garage, working on his motorcycle and listening to an ancient "Magic Carpet Ride" cassette tape. I don't know why... but this purse reminds me of Steppenwolf. And my dad. I highly doubt that's why the designer was going for.

STEP AWAY FROM THE BEDAZZLER!!!!


Uhmm... this purse has a shoe. Or this shoe has a purse? Deep.



Just in case you ever wanted to know how it would look to have a jellyfish dangling from your arm.


A bag that says "I'm not a woman.... I'm a mom."



What hurts me the most is that diaper bags are SUCH big money. Like you NEED a big, fugly bag to stash your diapers in. Embroidered with another baby? So obnoxious.


Ooh, it's an EDGY diaper bag. I'm not like other moms, I'm a COOL mom.

Have you ever heard that a pig in a tuxedo is still a pig? Just sayin'.


Just so you know... this purse is $52,000. I'm assuming because it has like, 10 designer bags sewn together like Frankenstein. What a lazy designer MARC JACOBS. "Hey Marc... we need you to design our flagship bag this year."
"Aw crap... can't we just use last year's bag? Wait a minute...."


WHY DOES THIS HAUNT MY DREAMS!?

Also... if you step on its toes... do you have to say "sorry?"

Ugh... now my mind is spinning with ugly bags. I think I'm going to go downstairs and talk to my handbag cupboard for a while. They will console me with leather and hardware and promises of shopping.