Cheap Tricks: Manicure Saver

I am notoriously impatient when it comes to nail polish. I put it on and will definitely have it smudged within about 90 seconds. While I almost never wear polish on my fingernails -- I have a wicked nail biting problem -- I almost always have my toes all polished up. Problem is that when I do get a spare minute to do my nails, I end up getting up and having to get someone a cup of chocolate milk or something and I get it smudged. And I haaaaaaate smudges.

So imagine my happiness when a friend introduced me to this $5 wonder:

It's called Seche Vite and it's literally the best top coat that you'll ever use. Not only does it make your nails super shiny -- it even works on matte polish -- but it dries rock-hard in 60 to 90 seconds. My favorite part is that you can put it right over wet nail polish. HELLO, time saver! Then, it makes your nail polish last forever. I got five to seven days without chips on my hands and up to two weeks on my toenails.

Even when I have my pedi done at a salon, I rush home and slick this stuff on top. It makes my pedi last longer, which means saving money. And at home, it saves my frustration level when I don't have to use nail remover and start again after my kids drag a stuffed animal over my toes while they're driving.

For $5? Totally worth it.

P.S. I am not getting reimbursed for this post. I just love this so much that I would name a child after it.

P.P.S. Don't really do that. It's French for "dry fast."

P.P.P.S. That's the extent of my six years of mandatory French.

Cheap Tricks: $1 Eye Highlighter

** Prayers to Boston. This has been my favorite response to it all.**


As promised, this week is all about my cheapest makeup and beauty tricks I use everyday -- three in particular. Today's is definitely the easiest and the cheapest of all three -- that's because it literally costs $1 and about two seconds out of your day.

It's this little baby, here:

This, my friends, is e.l.f.'s Essential Shimmering Facial Whip. I've been using it for years, but it has a really special application that I looooove. And that's making me look awake in the morning.

All I do is take my teeny tube of this stuff (which lasts forever, by the way) and squeeze a miniscule amount on the back of my hand.

Seriously, that is more than enough. Any more and you're going to look like a slutty fairy.

Then, I dab my finger into the little schmear and then dab my finger onto my tear ducts.

It acts as a shimmery highlighter that makes you look super awake and like you weren't up reading on your iPad until 1 am, not that I do that or anything.

Shimmery tear ducts FTW! Look at them! Look at theeeeeeemmm.

Then, as I usually have some leftover on my hand, I use it to highlight my brow bones, the tops of my cheek bones and then I rub the last little bit right above the bow of my lips. It's just enough shimmer to bring attention to your best features and make you look bright and awake.

Happy days!!

The color I use is the palest one they have -- Lilac Petal. You can nab it form the website (they have free shipping right now) but I just got this one at Target. Easy peasy, $1 and makes you feel like a million. I look positively undead without this stuff.

Alright, that's my first one. Stay tuned for tomorrow, when we will talk about my homemade skin treatment woop woop.

Jae Raids the Drugstore: Best (and Worst) Beauty Buys

Latey-late post from me today. I have to tell you about my awesome experience a couple of hours ago! So my hubs wanted to meet up for lunch and I told him I'd be by McD's around noon and to meet me and my youngest there (me trying to be a good mom and letting my kid germ it up at the Playplace.) When I got in the parking lot, there were no spots left because apparently, McD's is really popular on a Wednesday afternoon, so I drove around the parking lot. Unfortunately, some complete idiot had parked a truck and trailer in such a way that the people coming in through the drive-thru completely cut me off from the rest of the parking lot. As in, I had no outlet whatsoever. There was about a five-foot space and I drive a huge SUV and I was stuck in this weird little triangle between the edge of the trailer and the cars in the drive thru line. So I had no choice but to wait until the cars in the drive-thru pulled up so I could wedge myself out. Anyway, I was sitting there waiting for that to happen when a guy in a truck starts honking at me furiously from his truck. He was behind me and obviously stuck too. After another minute, he slammed out of his car and proceeded to examine the distance between the cars and the trailer and decided, in his opinion, that I should try and squeeze through. I'm not INSANE so I told him no, which is when he released a steady stream of expletives at me. It was so awesome, you guys. I was like DUDE! Don't yell at me, yell at the guy parking a tractor trailer in the drive-thru!

Anyone who knows me IRL knows that confrontation makes me uncomfortable. Like, crawl under my bed, hide from the world and sob uncomfortable. So naturally, after finally getting out like 30 SECONDS after this all went down (and after the guy revved his engine like a NASCAR driver to make his point as he sailed by) I immediately plunged into a deep depression and just wanted to go home. Naturally, my husband came to my rescue and sent me off shopping to bolster my spirits. And in a very roundabout way, it reminded me I hadn't done a products post in a while.

As it turns out, nothing comforts me quite like low-priced drugstore beauty buys. Oh Walgreens, you'll never fail me.

Also, just a head's up that I'm not compensated for any of these reviews. Homie don't play like that.

 The Body Shop Lip Stain in Bronze Glimmer.

For real you guys, this stuff is liquid gold. I bought the other stain in a pinky rose color but this one is by far my fave. It's more of a rose gold and has a gold  glimmer to it that I love on its own or layered over my Maybelline Baby Lips in Peach. It's become my "keep in my purse because I will reapply 100 times per day" lip stuff. Welcome to the purse, Bronze Glimmer.

Maybelline The Turbo Volum Express Mascara

 In my never ending quest to test every single type of mascara ever known to man, I stumbled across this little gem because I was shopping at our local grocery store and cruising the makeup aisle and the "Volum" in Maybelline The Turbo Volum Express Mascara stood out to me. All I want in life is big hair and big eyelashes, OK? Anyway, I've been impressed! I don't think it's as good as Million Lashes, but I like it much better than the Rimmel Scandalous Eyes. In related news, mascara names are stupid.

 Clean & Clean Morning Glow Moisturizer.

Confession? I've always thought that at 30, I'd switch to a "grownup" moisturizer. But when I hit 28 this summer, I decided that it was time to man up and try something that didn't smell like a teenage girl's bedroom. So I switched to a gel creme thingy and haaaated it. Sure, it made my skin super soft, but it made me break out like a crazy person. So I'm back to using my old fave, which gives enough moisture so your makeup doesn't look dead-person powdery but also doesn't cause zits. Hooray! Who cares if I smell like a 14 year old?

 Cover Girl Perfect Point Plus Eyeliner

K, I love me some self sharpening eyeliner. Not because it sharpens on its own and I can never find my sharpener and end up using my daughter's Disney one, but because the actual pencil is so SOFT. I hate when you get an eyeliner and it's like stabbing yourself in the eye with a steak knife. This makes for perfect smudginess, which I appreciate when I'm running late but still want my eyes to look done. This is a keeper.

 Herbal Essences Tousle Me Softly Finishing Touch Cream

Someone on my Facebook page recommended this to me when I was looking for a good styling balm and whoever you are, you're my hero! I love the idea of balms but hate hate hate when they make my hair all greasy-like. This stuff is uber-light and I'm really happy with it. I use it after I blow my hair out and it looks all big 'n stuff. Stay tuned next week -- I've got an awesome tutorial coming up on faking a blowout. Oohhh yeah.

 L'Oreal EverCreme Cleansing Conditioner

I don't typically use traditional shampoo. I've been sulfate-free for about a year now. I made the switch after I went blond because my hair takes a huge beating with coloring process and I don't want to add all those chemicals to the picture. I'd like to keep some of my hair actually on my head, thanks. So I was overjoyed  to find this stuff. I don't love the smell -- but I am super happy with how it works. It'll weird you out at first because there aren't any suds and you need to rinse super well, but I use this on both me and my daughter and we have crazy soft hair. Love!

 Nair Face Wax Strips

I've waxed my own eyebrows for years and years, but I always used Nads. I just barely ran out and this was all I could find at the drugstore in a dire hour of eyebrow-waxing need. And this is the big loser of the bunch. These hurt like, 400 percent worse than Nads. I did like that I could cut the strips in half and only use one per session, but let's just say my son came running into the bathroom when he heard me screaming bloody murder with half of a strip stuck to my head. I'm going back to my old green goop and not even pretending to imagine what these babies would do to your bikini line.

You know what guys? This was totally therapeutic. Mr. Anger Management has nothing on a good chat session about beauty products.

Of course, now that I've thought of about 96 witty comebacks for this huge d-bag, I'll probably never see him again. But in case he ever reads this blog and realizes I'm talking about him, I will say that he looks like he smells, his truck sounds like it contains a dying panther and my car would total his if he wanted to play chicken. Ah, that felt better.

How to Look Like You're Not Wearing Makeup

You know what I hate more than anything? OK, fine. The use of the word "darling" as an adjective. But do you know what is a close second? Being overdressed. Ugh, it's just sucky to show up somewhere and find that you're like 50 percent more glammed up than everyone. And sometimes that's OK, like at a wedding. But when it's like, at a pool party? Lame. That's why I've made it my personal mission in life to find makeup products that look completely natural. That way, I can still polish off my face without being like "I'm insecure and felt the need to spackle myself before this super casual BBQ!"

This summer has been especially important for all of that because of my dumb surgery. I wanted to wear makeup, but it either looked funny with the bandage and now, heavy makeup looks funny with the healing scar. Heading out on the boat, hanging out with my kids at the splash pad, a quick zillion trips to the store for school supplies - none of these require lipstick. So, it's natural look products to the rescue. YAY!

Here are some of my faves when you want to wear makeup but not actually look like it.

OK, so when I don't want to get all makeuppy, I go for super sheer coverage as foundation. I'm a Bare Minerals die-hard usually, but when I'm not doing the usual routine, I've really like either a) going with a primer and nothing on top or b) using BB cream. Both just even out my skin tone enough without really adding color.

I've tried like 9,000 primers (five) but my favorite has been the Revlon PhotoReady Perfecting Primer they sent me a month or two ago. It's the only one that doesn't feel like straight oil going on. I got some from Bare Minerals and was absolutely not a fan.



Once I've done my evening out, I add some color with my weird teenage secret weapon, the Wet and Bonne Bell Bronzer. Ever since I found out my buddy Sara uses it, I've felt strangely vidicated and no longer feel like it's a dirty secret I need to hide. Seriously, a little wash of this on the cheekbones and along the temple is all I need. But here's a hint. Use like, a miniscule amount of you'll end up looking insane. Fun fact: I've used this stuff since I was like, 17 and I've only gone through three bottles.

I definitely skip the mascara and eyeliner on "no makeup" days. It's just too "done." Plus, I usually do this when we're going to be around water for the day because there's nothing grosser than raccoon eyeliner eyes in the pool. OK, there are a few things grosser, but that's up there. Still, I don't want to go totally naked in the eyes, so I grab my handy E.L.F. Cream Shadow Duo. The dark plum color is perfect for making eyes stand out without having to do more than just rubbing it on with my finger.


Finally, I finish the entire thing off with The Body Shop's Lip and Cheek Stain. I have both colors and they are AMAZING. I do the apples of my cheeks and lips and since they're the same color, it looks pretty and flushed instead of artificial.

That's it! In about three minutes, I've gotten polished up and won't look like Barbie at the pool party. Actually, my friend calls those women "bikini moms." You know, the ones that show up to the community pool and never actually dip a toe in the water, but just strut across the hot pavement all afternoon? Ridiculous.

Here's the moral of the story. If you're looking for a way to make your makeup look more natural OR you're new at this whole makeup thing, look for cream, gel or liquid based makeups. They're more blendable and forgiving than a say, a matte powder. You can experiment a little and graduate on up when you feel like you've got the hang of it. We're talking five products max, here. Totally do-able and not like you just underwent an extreme makeover.

Or, you can just be like me today and not wear any makeup and then embarrass your daughter by running a jacket to her at the bus stop. That's cool too.

Jae Raids the Drugstore: Best (and Worst) Beauty Buys II

So, you guys know I was on a shopping fast last month because I haven't shut up about it for the last 60 days. Like, we get it Jae. You didn't shop. There are starving children in Africa.

Of course, I had to have an outlet for shopping or else I would have ended up with the shakes, so makeup made up almost all of my purchases for the entire month of April.

Seriously, in true addict style I ended up just going to Walgreens and throwing the entire beauty department in my cart. Then I talked myself out of it and only came home with a few things. My husband and my bank account were grateful.

I thought I'd show you some of the stuff that I got that I loved (and hated) on the cheap at the drugstore. It's OK to feed your habit if you're also shopping for cough medicine, right? RIGHT!?


Rimmel Scandal Eyes Mascara

Despite the fact that I HATE the commercial for this stuff (seriously, it's not the gap that bugs me, it's the ugly face she makes OVER and OVER again during the entire spot) but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway. I did that thing where you put saline solution in your mascara to make it last longer at the very end, but I could only make it last so long and the stupid Nordstrom near me shut down and I had a mascara emergency! I actually really like this stuff! It's not as smooth as my usual mascara, and I don't think I like it as much as Million Lashes, but it's pretty close. Gives me nice, fat lashes, which is the only part of my body that I would ever wish to be nice and fat.


Sonia Kashuk Brush Couture

Can I just tell you how much I love Sonia Kashuk brushes? Obviously they're from Target and not the drugstore, but I feel like because Target HAS a drug store, it counts. Anyway, this is my second set of SK brushes - the others I had for almost three years. They're super soft and lovely. I love the huge one for bronzer, and the last one in that row makes the coolest smoky eyes in one step, which is pretty brilliant. And I got all of them for like, $14 - not too shabby!

Wet n' Wild Color Icon Shadow Trio in Knock on Wood.

I was in a beauty slump last month and wanted something to kick it, but I also didn't want to commit to something pricey, so I picked this little number up for a couple of bucks. I'm telling you now: If you have blue eyes, get this palette! It's totally foolproof - I mean, each color tells you where it goes on your eyes, for goodness sake - and it makes my blue eyes totally pop. It would look really pretty with brown eyes too. I'm impressed!


Maybelline Baby Lips in Peach Kiss

Would you laugh at me if I told you I bought this at Walmart while we were picking up patio chairs and a couple of plants? Because that's how I roll. This stuff is like grown-up Lip Smackers. I can't really sat if it improved my lips at all, which is like, the whole schtick for this stuff, but it tastes awesome and I like the hint of color it gives. It's my new go-to laid-back lip that I keep in my purse and reapply 50,000 times per day.


Wet n' Wild Mega Eyes Liquid Liner

Oh, Wet n' Wild. You did so well with the Trio and then failed miserably with this liquid liner.

I totally hate it. I ran out of my beloved e.l.f. liner (are you detecting a pattern here? I make risky makeup choices when my stuff runs out) and grabbed this when I was out and about. I just hate the way it goes on. It seems like a liquid, but the coverage is pretty terrible. I needed like, three coats for it to show up. Not a fan :(


Maybelline Volume Seduction XXL

Makeup names are ridiculous. Anyway, this stuff is like a crack stick. I LOVE IT. I grabbed a couple - in Born With It (shown) and Fully Blushed - and I love them both. I've bought plumping lip stuff before, and usually it just stung. This gets your lips all tingly and I love the super sheer colors. You also get a ton of shine. I'm actually really glad I bought two - the one shown is really sheer, and then I got a pinker tone. If you're looking for Angelina lips, you're not going to get it from a lip gloss, but I love that these brought a ton of natural color. Definitely a keeper.

K, it's your turn. Have you found anything that you love for cheap at the drugstore you can share? Or have you tried any of the stuff I bought in a moment of weakness?

Jae Raids the Drugstore: Best (and Worst) Beauty Buys Under $10

Since my family has literally been sick since November, I've had the opportunity to reacquaint myself with a very strange place: the drugstore. You see, when I was a teenager living at home, the closest place for me to buy makeup and hair stuff was the drugstore that was two blocks away from my house. I spent all of my tiny paycheques on massive amounts of eyeshadow and butterfly hair clips and whatever else was cool in 2001. Seriously, I loved that place. I would take hours to pick stuff out and then I'd rush home and try it all on like a demented beauty queen.

Since I've become oh so more mature in my old age (you guys, I was playing in the snow with my kids the other day and I fell and I've been complaining like a granny ever since) I started buying more of my makeup and hair stuff at beauty specialty stores, department stores and online. Honestly, I hadn't been in a drugstore in forever because usually we use a Walmart pharmacy and I'm picking up milk and Pullups with my prescription, not lipstick. But a couple weeks ago, Walmart didn't carry my prescription so I had to head down to Walgreens and since then, all of our stuff has been going there. The result? Hours upon hours of waiting for prescriptions that I have now spent trolling the makeup aisles for new products.

Since I totally understand that not everyone wants to go have their bank account manhandled by the ladies at the Nordstrom makeup counters, I give you some of the best (and worst) products that I've picked up during my drugstore escapades -- proof that you can find totally awesome stuff while you're picking up antibiotics and Advil.



L'Oreal Voluminous Million Lashes

I know I've reviewed this mascara on here before, but I picked up another tube when my pricey brand was out the other day and I remember how awesome it is. For a $8 mascara, this stuff rocks. It's the closest I've found to Diorshow, which is my all-time fave. My favorite part about it is that you can layer it really well. I hate when I go to put a second coat of mascara on and it's all crispy and gross. With this, I put on a layer, wait two minutes and then add one more for superthick lashes. I was wearing it at Christmas and my sister-in-law thought I falsies on. Score!



Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter.

I am a sucker for new types of lip color, just because I'm not a hardcore lipstick girl. I love gloss, but I feel like the color fades super fast so it's kind of a pain. When I saw this I was excited because it's kind of a mix between lipstick and lip blam. Like, it feels like chapstick going on, but gives awesome color like a lipstick. This would be AWESOME if you're new to lip color or want to try a bolder shade (red please?) I bought this color, which is a bright pink in the tube but is just pretty and rosy on my lips and it lasted forever. I also liked that it was all smooth n' stuff.


(I'm wearing it in this picture. LOVE! PS My son looks like a tiny banker.)



Suave Volumizing Mousse

It makes me really mad when spell check says that "volumizing" isn't a word. Um, shut up. OK, I am a sucker for hair products, especially ones that promise to give me big hair. And I'm kind of a mousse-aholic. But I love this stuff. It dries really soft, even when I do scrunchy curls, so I use it for both curly and straight looks, since my hair is pretty wavy in real life. And i think I paid like, $2 for this, so it was totally worth it. I used a Big Sexy Hair version of the same thing and really can't tell a huge difference, despite the fact that BSH cost $24.



Sally Hansen Salon Effects Nail Polish Strips

I would literally rather have a root canal than try and mess with these again. I picked up a box because I hate doing my nails only to have them chip and figured this would last longer. It might have if I'd actually been able to put them on. First of all, each strip is encased in roughly 79 pieces of peely plastic, which means they make a HUGE mess. Second, they're pretty much impossible to apply I gave up and put them on my daughter. She loves them but I don't have the heart to tell her that they're slightly crooked. So I won't. Stab me with a spoon these were annoying.



Maybelline Mineral Power Foundation

I ran out of my precious Bare Minerals right before my trip to Canada, so I rushed to the drugstore since I didn't have a chance to get to the mall. I figured that all mineral powders were created equally, and I was close. This is a really great substitute for the real deal. If you want to try mineral foundation but don't want to fork out $25 for the stuff, try this. The coverage was fine, although I don't think it lasted as long as Bare Minerals. Also, you don't get the range of colors that you do with Bare Minerals, so it wasn't the exact match I usually get. But totally worth it to stash in my makeup bag -- I really liked the supersoft brush that came with it too!



Beyond the Zone Rock On Dry Shampoo

K, this is kind of cheating because I didn't buy this myself. But I went to a "Favorite Things" party with my friends and this is what I won. One of my friends (Hi, Tamera!) brought this to share and I'm glad she did, because it was magical. Everyone knows about dry shampoo, right? It's a powder spray that you can use to revive your hairstyle when it's oily or just flat. You might not be able to find this brand at the drugstore, but I've also tried the Suave dry shampoo and liked it a lot too. Definitely a must for time-crunched mornings.

In the interest of full disclosure, I'll give a pic of me with dry shampooed hair. BUT I literally took this picture as I rolled out of bed and sat down to work for the day and i am not wearing a stitch of makeup. BEWARE.


But see? My face looks tired but my hair looks like it's actually DONE. I sprayed my roots with dry shampoo and then just fluffed with my fingers and got like 30-second hair right out of bed without doing anything special. It's awesome and one of my secrets to faking like I actually put myself together everyday. Totally doable.

Alright, so now I have divulged my guilty pleasure for low priced cosmetics (hence my insane obsession with buying stuff from e.l.f.). What's your favorite budget beauty buy that you can't live without?

De-scare-ifying Red Lipstick

Hey, I totally know why red lipstick gets a bad rap. It's because when ANYONE thinks about red lips EVER, it's in a Christina Aguilera way.



Sweet mother of mercy, homegirl loves red lipstick like I love an anniversary sale. And is it me, or does she kind of look like Snooki here?

Hey, I love rocking out to "Fighter" in my car as much as the next person, but Christina (because I refuse to call her X-tina) does the red lip wrong time and time again. Baby, fire your stylist ASAP. Christina's red lip is wrong for a myriad of reasons, the most obvious being it's not the right color and she's done it with bighairbiglipsbigeyesandbigboobs which is what makes the red lip veer into trannytown. And trannytown is only fun when you're up late at night and Rock Horror Picture Show is on TV.

So I get that most people have a little trepidation with wearing a red lip. I do. But I think it's a trick that all women should have in their makeup bag, so we're going to take some time to demystify and descarify the red lip.

First, color. The color red you choose is EVERYTHING. Take me, for instance. I am very fair-skinned. Because of this, a true red lip makes me look like all of the vampires in the first Twilight movie. Comically undead. So when I'm choosing a red lipstick, I know it has to have pink undertones for me not to look crazy.

You know those makeup counters you hurry past each time you run through a department store? Stop. Tell the nice makeup lady that you're looking for a red lipstick and she'll be overjoyed to help you find one. I like Sephora and the Christian Dior counters the best. You simply cannot buy something as bold as red lipstick without trying a few first. Here's some guidelines for skin tones that should help you on your quest.

If you have fair skin with pink undertones (like moi): Look for lighter reds with pink or coral undertones. You don't need to get all Aguilera-like.

If you have medium skin with golden undertones: look for truer reds with bluish undertones. They'll make your teeth look whiter and look best with more tanned, golden skin.

If you have dark skin: Look for reds with burgundy and brick-colored undertones because you can pull it off and I'm jealous.

Once you know what type of red looks best on your skin tone, you can narrow down your search to a few different shades so you don't need to try a bajillion shades.

When applying red lips, you need to be careful. If you don't apply it right, the middle part could wear away, leaving your a dark ring around your lips. I'm not a lipliner girl, but if you are, line and then fill your lips completely to give the lipstick something to stick to. I prefer a lip primer, so I slick on some of that, then add my red lip. I then blot and reapply. Finally, I add a little shine with a clear or coral lip gloss on top. The coral helps tone down the red when I want it to look less "TA-DA!"-ish. Yes, that's totally a real phrase.

I prefer a red lip with more toned down clothes and makeup. The lips are enough. Don't go all crazy and do a smoky eye and wear a bustier and no pants like SOME people I know. Seriously, I love a more casual look and light eye with red lips, because they are seriously enough on your own. Pile on the makeup and it'll look like you got into mommy's makeup bag for the first time.

AB
Exhibit A) Too much of a good thing, Queen of the Undead.
Exhibit B) Lovely and natural.

A red lip is a super glam way to change things up, so I seriously think you should give it a try. If you're still unsure, consider heading to the drug store or Wally World and picking up a few super cheap shades from whatever dollar brand makeup line you can find. They won't wear particularly well, but you'll have the chance to test drive the red before you spend a little more coin on a longer-lasting brand.

Can we all make a pact to give it a try? Let's do! Plus, when you have red lips you get to leave all sorts of cute smacky prints all over your husband's face like you're in a Looney Tunes cartoon.



Mwah!

Kisses,
Jae

Product Review!: e.l.f. Studio Cream Eyeliner

***Disclaimer: I was not reimbursed for this review. While I think it would be super cool if e.l.f. sent me free stuff all the time, I bought my product on my own and this is all pure honesty. That's how I roll.***

So it's no secret that I'm obsessed with e.l.f. products. Seriously, half the items in my makeup bag are from the brand. It's just that every time I order with them I usually have to meet a certain dollar amount for free stuff, which means I order like, 9 billion products because everything is so dang cheap. You'd think that at a $1 to $3 you'd be getting like, Bonne Bell Lip Smackers and nail files, but all the stuff is awesome.

The last order I did I noticed they had a new cream eyeliner. Have I also told you I'm obsessed with eyeliner? I've been using e.l.f. liquid liner pens forever and had an extra $3 to spare, so I added it to my cart.

Ooooh I am so glad that I did. This stuff is awesome. Now, it's not for the demurely makeuped. If you prefer a super natural (but not supernatural, that's completely different) look, you should know that this makes a very thick line. But if you like a little drama, like me, it's PERFECT.

I bought the plummy purple color because I have blue eyes. As a quick makeup note, if you want your eyes to stand out, wear an eye color that is opposite. Nothing bugs me more than seeing blue eyeshadow on a chick with blue eyes. (OK, fine. Social discrimination bugs me more. But blue eyeshadow is UP THERE.) If you want a quick refresher for eyeliner rules depending on eye color:

Blue eyes: Brown or plum
Green eyes: Brown or red/pink
Brown eyes: Navy blue
Hazel: Brown
All colors: Gray
No one ever: White

Anyway, this cream eyeliner stuff is pretty awesome. I use it to do a heavier cat eye on top when I'm going sans-liner on the bottom. I've also used it to add a little color and definition along the bottom lashes too and I was totally happy with the results. It comes with an adorable little brush that I lose on a near-daily basis, but it's perfect for lining. And I feel like if you have trouble with liquid liner but still want the drama, cream liner is the next best thing. You have way more control over the product so you're not getting liquid liner all over the place. And as a completely unnecessary note, the other day I had one of those massive liquid eyeliner malfunctions where I got it EVERYWHERE and looked like I was in a fight and had to wash my face completely and start over. It was a great day.

Also, this stuff lasts forever. It will not smudge because it dries and then it's on there until you do the scary thing at night when you go from hot mama to pajama-ridden, ponytailed sleep machine.

Anyway, totally worth a try if you have $3 lying around and you want to try something new. And I know you do! It's basically the price of a massive Cherry Limeade from Sonic. I totally stopped and got one at like 10:30 last night. I'm staring at the cup right now. My life is riveting.

EDIT!!


Alright, as per request, here's some pictures of the liner IN ACTION! So, I love me some cat eye, but since it's heavy on top I typically leave the bottom alone to avoid closing in the eye. It's super dramatic and retro and a lot easier to do with cream than it is liner.


Herrrrre's the whole effect. And now you know what my hair looks like in the morning. IGNORE THAT. Focus on the eyes. I've also got a layer of mascara on because I die without mascara. Seriously.

Hopefully that makes more sense! I always hesitate when posting pics of myself on the blog because I don't want everyone to be like OMG JAE STOP BEING SO VAIN. But if you need them, ask away and I shall feel validated.

Makeup Week: Jae's Guide to Corrective Coloring

We haven't had a theme week in so long and I miss it! Plus I just did a makeup buying binge and I spent like two hours playing with it all and now I feel like talking about face paint.

Specifically corrective color. No, that's not what you do when you accidentally dye your hair bright yellow in an effort to look like Gwen Stefani. Corrective color is a makeup technique which uses different colors of primer and concealor in order to camouflage super common skin problems. I first started using corrective coloring when I had my first baby and learned that I looked perpetually dead tired. Even when I wasn't, I looked like the Corpse Bride after months of that time warp that is having a new baby. Once I figured out how to use different colors to my advantage I learned to fake it like I was bright and perky and well rested.

And then we laughed and laughed...

Anyway, it's a super easy concept. A flawless face is evenly toned. In order to fake it like you have an even tone, you need to neutralize problem areas. How do you neutralize dark circles, a zit or rosacea? By covering it with the color that is opposite your problem area on the color wheel. Does that make any sense? For instance, say you have one of the awful zits that sits under the skin and never emerges and makes you feel like punching a baby seal every time you accidentally touch it. Since green is opposite red on the color wheel, a green concealor will neutralize the red before you put on your foundation to cover it completely. Brilliant!

You can use four different colors in order to correct the various flaws on your face. Green is best for red, like zits, sunburn or rosacea. I use yellow to neutralize purple and blue, which usually show up under my eyes when I've been up all night watching basketball with my husband and wishing I were dead. Pink can help neutralize gray, which is awesome if your skin looks sallow from tiredness. You can also use a blue makeup to help tone down yellow and orange tones should you apply a makeup that is too yellowy. (I've also used blue to cover one of those nasty fading yellow bruises on my leg when I was wearing a skirt. That totally makes me sound like a battered woman. I promise it was because I shut my leg into a car door. Who does that?)

When covering flaws that change the texture of the skin, I prefer a cream-based color. It helps to smooth over any bumpy areas while filling in any divots lefts by scarring or anything like that. If I want to just change the color and my texture is fine, I like a powder, like under my eyes. It's lighter.

If you want to try using corrective color, start with a bare face. Apply your color BEFORE your foundation, otherwise you will have a colorful rainbow face and that's weird. So I might apply a mixture of yellow and pink under my eyes to tame the purple and gray areas while using a bit of green around my nose where I tend to be redder. THEN I brush on my foundation (I use Bare Minerals) and I'm good to go. It totally fakes the appearance of smooth, flawless skin without caking a ton of concealer and foundation over the problems, which totally just makes them more obvious BY THE WAY.

As for products, I like something that gives me more for my money. I've liked both Physician's Formula and ELF because both offer kits with several colors that you can blend and brush to my little heart's delight.

Now that we know how to use corrective color, tomorrow we'll discuss using the technique to cover a superhonkinginormous zit. Which I really feel should not be an issue at age 27, but c'est la vie. It happens to the best of us.

Freaky Friday: Makeup

So next week is going to be makeup week! YAY! I'm excited because it gives me an excuse to buy new makeup. And I thought I'd better preface it with some really bad makeup, so when I do tips and tutorials next week, you'll be like OMG Jae is a genius! It kinda goes with the whole smoke and mirrors thing. Shhhh don't tell.



I'd be scared except for that delightful daisy on his head.


Just in case you were looking to bring the age old clown fantasy to life. It's the nose that turns me on.



I really don't think I like her demeanor.


I don't know what's going on in this picture, but I can only assume it's one of the places that Stefan was talking about. Stefan makes me cry with laughter and a little uncomfortable at the same time.



Hey! Not only do you get to see a closeup of creepy blow up doll makeup, but it comes with a tutorial too! I want to see this at the next PTA meeting, k?


Don't look at me. I didn't paint you like the most depressed clown ever.


Silver eyeliner in the daytime? For shame, Gaga, FOR SHAME. (I've decided that if I don't acknowledge her constant search for shock then she'll start dressing like a human being. Fingers crossed!)


One time one of my best friends had a little too much to drink and then asked me to do her makeup. In the process, she started crying and her makeup ran down her eyes and I convinced her that it looked "Heroin Chic" and sent her back to the party. I haven't the slightest clue as to why the memory was triggered just now.

Alright, so next week when it's all about makeup you can be impressed by my skillz. If not, come back to this post and then read again and I promise you will.

Splurge or Steal: Makeup

Cosmetics are a multi BILLION dollar industry. You know why? Because it SO HARD to walk into a Sephora without dropping $100. Their dang salespeople are so convincing and like "Hey girlfriend lets hook you up!" And I am lulled into a trance wherein I purchase things I don't need like hydrating gel. I KNOW.

There's always going to be a battle between pricey makeup and drugstore brands. Which is best? Do you get what you paid for? Are you crazy for spending $30 on mascara?

The answer is: it depends. Makeup can make you feel AMAZING, so when you spend coin on facepaint, make sure you're spending it on stuff that will really make a difference. Note that this is different for everyone. I'll tell you what I spend money on when makeup shopping, and which stuff I slum.

Foundation - Spend. Foundation is a big deal to me. It all started when I was 17 years old and realized my pores were literally the size of dinner plates. Seriously. Put a chicken dinner in those things. I like the foundation gives me a smooth surface to work with while helping the rest of my makeup to stick. My problem? I have freakish coloring. Normal makeup makes me look like a Simpson. Since I have dark hair, makeup counter girls expect me to have golden skin. NO NO NO. I have pink skin. When I finally found a good match, I was hooked for life. So it's no biggie for me to use Bare Minerals -- $25 every three months or so is worth it to me not to look like I have jaundice.

2) Lipstick and gloss -- Mostly steal. Why? Because I am FICKLE. I buy lipsticks all the time that are soon left at the bottom of my dusty makeup bag. In general I prefer bright pinks, but I like red too. Gloss is basically the same no matter where you buy it, so I don't care if I buy a $1 or a $25 brand. It'll look the same. When it comes to lipstick though, you're going for WAY more pigments. The only time I say splurge is by going into a makeup counter and trying on various colors BEFORE you buy. Purchasing a $20 tube this way will save you money over buying 9 $5 tubes that you never use at the drugstore.

3) Eyeliner - STEAL STEAL STEAL! It's no secret that I love E.L.F.'s liquid eyeliner pens. Seriously, I have them in almost color. And they are $1. I love a cat eye, and I've been using liquid liner for years. It's by far the best I've ever tried, even when compared with pricier brands. It's just super foolproof to apply, which is a must because liquid liner can get messy.




Mascara - Spend. Now, this is MY personal preference. But I think mascara makes a ha-yuge difference in my appearance and I often wear only mascara, so it's important to me that I get the most bang for my buck. A couple weeks ago I splurged for Dior Blackout. I usually wear DiorShow but I thought what the heck? The stuff goes on like liquid vinyl and makes me look like I'm wearing false eyelashes all the time. Seriously, as long as a mascara gives me Minnie Mouse lashes, I'll pay anything.



Eyeshadow - Both. When it comes to eyeshadow I only splurge on colors I wear on a daily basis. My top three colors are reddish brown, plum and gray, so I tend to buy those in singular mineral pots. Anything else? Steal for sure. When am I really going to wear green eyeshadow? Like... never. So I buy it in a huge palette to get the most for my money for colors that I wear once in a blue moon.



Blush and Bronzer: I wear bronzer on an almost-daily basis. So you'd think that I would spend a ton of money on it. Honestly? I used Bare Minerals for a while and ran out, so I switched to something I got from the drugstore and really couldn't tell the difference for the money. So I'm a cheapie bronzer girl now. As for blush, I prefer cream over powder, which can be harder to find. My favorite is Victoria's Secret of all brands, because it comes it superbright colors and in a stick, which is like 500 times less messy than a pot.

Now, before you decide what you're going to spend and save on when it comes to makeup, think about your best features. You'll notice that I spend the most money on my eyes. That's because I enjoy them and want them to stand out. If you have really pretty lips, splurge on lip products. Super awesome cheekbones? Blow it on blush. Only spend money where you need to and the rest won't have to be a million dollar makeup job. Also, don't be afraid to invest in products and colors that you use on a daily basis. Often they last longer on the skin and they become staples in your makeup bag. Crazy colors and things you just want to "try?" Go cheap first... if you really end up loving it you can purchase a pricier version next time. If you realize you look crazy, it can then go guilt-free to the place where all scary cosmetics go:

My vanity drawer.

Beauty 101: Makeup Brushes

So let's have a little skills meeting today, shall we? Let's talk makeup brushes. I know, it's like seriously, she's going to do an entire post on makeup brushes oh honey, no. But the right brushes make the difference between flawless makeup and looking like you got into your mommy's makeup bag. Just trust me on this one.

The first step to getting to know makeup brushes better is go directly to your bathroom or vanity or wherever the heck you do your makeup, fish out any applicators that have come with your makeup and THROW THEM IN THE GARBAGE. Whoops, I just got a little violent there. But still, obey.

Good makeup brushes will give you much more natural look over the spongey things that they include in eyeshadow palettes. I can always tell when someone has been using those archaic applicators by the harsh line over the eye or stripey blush. Sad.

If you're new to makeup or a beginner, buy a set of brushes altogether and save yourself some confusion. I'm obsessed with Sonia Kashuk brushes, which you can buy at Target (yay, target!) but I've also loved the E.L.F. studio line of brushes and Bare Escentuals. Either way, buying them as a kit can take some of the questions away from what you need exactly. If you already have a few brushes, it may be time to add to your list. Here are my top five essentials for a prettier face.

Kabuki Brush

The kabuki brush is short and stout, with rounded, soft bristles. It's perfect for large areas of smooth and even coverage. I use mine for mineral makeup, but they can also work for applying bronzer. And as an added bonus, they are just so darn cute.


Blush Brush

K, so this is where the skinny little inadequate brush that comes with your blush should be thrown out. It will result in really terrible and stripey makeup and I WILL judge you. Look instead for a puffy brush for moderate coverage. I apply both bronzer and blush with a puffy brush (but not the same one, that's mixing, ew.) To apply bronzer, draw an imaginary number three, starting at your forehead, swiping across the cheeks and down to the chin. Then dab a little blush right on the apples of your cheeks. Yay!


Fan Brush

Now, this fan brush looks weird and ineffective, but it is THE BEST for applying highlighter. If you put on too much highlighter, you're definitely going to look like you're in the movie Burlesque. And that got TERRIBLE reviews, so.... anyway. Use a fan brush to add a teensy bit of highlighter at the top of your cheekbones and under your browbones. Beaut.


Eyeshadow Brush

K, so this is my fave little trick in my makeup bag. Eyeshadow brushes make applying eyeshadow SO EASY that you cannot fail. Since it disperses color evenly without being splotchy, you won't get the scary clown affect that can happen with sponge applicators. Also, I can get away with wearing brighter colors because the brush makes the pigments less condensed. Buy immediately.

Eyeliner Brush

Here's another trick that I use. Have you ever put on WAY too much eyeliner and looked like a depressed emo vampire? Of course you have. When that happens to me, I wet my angled eyeliner brush and use it to brush out the eyeliner so it looks more like eyeshadow. I also use it to clean up wayward liquid liner, because that stuff is tricky. You can also use it to apply darker shadow to your creases to attain the ever-elusive smoky eye.

Another tip is to make sure that you clean your brushes every two weeks or so. Otherwise they could get germy and bacteria-y and gross. I just suds mine up with hand soap, rinse them and leave them on a towel to dry overnight. They'll be ask good as new come morning.

Is any of this making sense?