Freaky Friday: How Not to Give

I still have one more thing to do for work and I am procrastinating because I feel like Freaky Friday is more important. SO that's how much I love you.

Also, is it me or is this weekend the kickoff to all festivities ever? I'm starting to get a little anxious about it. I had one party on Tuesday already and then there's two more tomorrow and several next week.

Not to mention all the kid's junk I have to do. Like, really, elementary school system? The week before Christmas is really the best time to ask that children come to school dressed like characters from The Grinch? Why do you hate me?

Still on my list of things to do:
-figure out something for neighbor gifts
-figure out teacher/gymnastic coach/preschool/literally anyone who has ever so much as blinked in my direction gifts
-purchase food for our big shindig on Christmas Eve. I also made my mom send down traditional English Christmas crackers, which don't exist here in the States. As in, my kids and husband assumed I meant crackers for eating and didn't know why I was making such a big deal about it. I have failed as a mother.
-buy toothpaste for stockings because for SOME REASON the last four times I went stocking shopping, I forgot.
-Wrap. I wrapped presents for two hours last night while watching really bad ABC Family Christmas movies. I am not done yet. I did, however, find out how both The 12 Dates of Christmas and The Mistletones ended. Hint: They fall in love. They always fall in love.
-Avoid Wal-Mart like my life depends on it. I tried going last night while my daughter was at gymnastics. I don't want to talk about it.

What's on your list still? Feeling overwhelmed yet?
That's OK. Take a break and make fun of bad gift ideas with me and you'll feel better. 

 For a delicate flower of a friend who doesn't want to "bulk up" by lifting 2L soda bottles. 

 My friend Carolyn sent this over. 

Don't you hate it when you give a gift and you're not sure if the recipient really "gets it?" 

No worries.

 The best way of saying "I was going to literally light this stupid money on fire but then I decided to buy you a Louis Vuitton waffle maker instead."

 To save you from ever having make conversation at dinner again. 

 Comes free with a note that just says "RUN." 

 Companion gift for this wine glass ring? 

Rehab. 

 For that friend who thinks she's Internet famous. 

 The only thing better than ratty hair extensions? Ratty hair extensions made from gross clear LED strands. 

 Yeah, it's all fun and games until your horse impales you because he's not your freakin' entertainment.

Protip: Sometimes, it's better to not give at all. 

 Brooke sent this over. I'm assuming she agrees with me that this would be ideal for that friend who's a crazy cat person but doesn't yet know it.

 For a husband who fetishizes what it would be like to be a banana: mid-peel.

For a whopping 3.2 seconds of amusement. 

Don't you feel better now? I do.

Now spill: What is the worst gift you've ever gotten?