Freaky Friday: Summer Clearance

You guys, I'm totally sloughin' it today. About 10 minutes after I sat down at my desk I was like "Yeah... nothing is happening." Taking a day off is a BIG DEAL for me. I live a very scheduled life to the point that the satellite guy calling to see if he could come a couple of hours early yesterday nearly caused me to have a mental breakdown. But, my 6 year old is off to school and I feel like playing with my 3 year old for today instead of working. Deep breaths... deep breaths. Also, I'm having new Internet installed today and I'm like... why continue working on my crappy connection when it'll be faster in the afternoon?

It's all about the justification, folks.

But before I head off to play, I'd better get some FF action goin' on.

Today is all about stuff I found while cruising the clearance bins. You know, summer clearance is an awesome time to stock up on staples. But it's also an awesome time to make fun of freak sizes (seriously, who is a 000?) and check out the leftovers that are still there for a reason.




Like this jacket, which totally reminds me of the 90s in a "secretly watch Dawson's Creek, listen to the Top 6 at 6 on my clock radio, get really into Nirvana for that one summer" kinda way.

The 90s were good to me.



I like this outfit. It says "I'm a little creepy and feel up the cabana boy when he comes to bring me poolside mojitos."


I can't imagine an instance where this outfit wouldn't be too dramatic. Like, you could wear it to an Evil Mothers in Soap Operas Convention and you'd still be crazy overdressed.


This is a dress only in the most fluid sense in the word. It could also be described as a tunic, top or way to get attention from men.


If you're wondering if you're too old to pull off a bedazzled velour tracksuit; you are.


OK, besides the fact that this is the most disgusting garment I've ever seen in my life, I'd like to point out that the design looks like there's an arrow pointing at her business.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions as to what that might mean. In fact, feel free to share in the comments. I have an idea, but it's pretty dirty and my mom and brothers read this blog.


But why? WHY? would this weird caricature of the Kardashians shirt end up in the clearance section? I love to worship people who are famous for having big butts and rich parents! Rude.


Also, I'm kind of hoping this is the last summer for the hi-lo dress. I HATE IT. It looks like a mullet, if wearing a mullet constantly put you at risk for flashing people while walking.



If it's still warm where you live, don't forget this awesome romper, a belly ring and the sweet perfume of desperation!


Also, Becca sent me these awesome face-kinis. After some research, I found are popular in China with women who prefer fair skin and looking slightly like an axe murderer.


Alright friends, I'm off to play for the day. Or, at least until 1 because that's when the Internet guy is coming.