Freaky Friday: Bad Shoes, Bad Celebs

Another week down! Don't you love four-day work weeks? They make me pass out with happiness. Also, Tuesday is my b to the irthday and I'm pretty excited to go buy myself some shoes or something. Have you seen the new plum glitter TOMS? I DIE. They must be mine. It just so happens that the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale coincides with my birthday every year. It's like the fashion gods KNEW!

Anyway, lets kick the weekend off with some bad shoes and bad celebs!



Ahahaha I see what you did there. Clever and a bit unhygienic, bravo!


So Heidi Klum is a) wearing the latest monstrosity she had to pretend to like on Project Runway, or b) moonlighting as a car mechanic on the weekends. I hope it's b because my car needs an oil change and manly car mechanics intimidate me.


Is it weird that when I first saw these shoes I wondered what the back must look like? Are they anatomically correct? I JUST WONDERED!


Oh Kim...Kim Kim Kimmy Kim WHY do you do this to your body? And who was shopping with you when you bought this and told you it looked OK? I would have been truthful, Kim. You can count on me. I would have told you right away it makes you look like a leathery cougar without feet, I swear I would have.


Miley Cyrus is turning into such a delicate flower of a lady, isn't she?


I think we could all use a lesson on "How to Make Completely Thin Women Look Like They've Gained 10 lbs of Calves Only." The subject matter would be these shoes. Only these shoes.



These look like what someone in the 70s would have thought furniture in 2012 would look like. Also, there would be hovercrafts. There's ALWAYS hovercrafts.


Quite possible the WORST DRESS EVER. Also, when you're on a red carpet, I feel like you should remove your sunglasses from your head. It's like her top half is running to the drugstore for PMS medicine and her bottom half is attending my grade 8 graduation in 1998.


These shorts make me sad for Rihanna's crotch. It is heartbreaking what she's doing to it.


J. Lo has not figured out that there IS such a thing as too much of a good thing. Like snakeskin print, for example. Or short skirts. Or sassy Latina facial expressions.

Every time I see a picture of her it's like she's saying "Que?"



K, we get it. You win. You win for frumpiest person who cares the least about fashion in Hollywood. Now can you stop dressing like a 14th century monk?

Alright, I'm going to go peruse catalogs and pick out pretty things that I'll badger my husband into buying to prove his love for me. YAY. Happy weekend!

Summer Maternity Awesomeness

Fun fact time! I'm always pregnant at the same time as Britney Spears. How weird is that? I remember PRAYING during my first pregnancy that Britney Spears would have a boy because she said in an interview that if she had a girl, she'd name her Addison. I refused to have a daughter with the same name as Britney Spears' kid. Luckily, a boy was born and my child's name was saved. Is that vain?

Anyway, it was so fun to watch to see what koo koo kachoo outfits she would come up with. She is a crazy dresser y'all! I want you to look at the two pictures above. Think: would I rather spend my pregnancy looking like uber-adorable and happy Selma Blair, or wedgie-picking, cigarette smoking Britney Spears?

THINK HARD.

I know it's the summer and you're hot and super uncomfortable and basically just want to lay around in your undies all day, but eventually, you're going to have to leave the house in all your preggo glory. Luckily, I can help you with that, despite it having been two years since my last (LAST) pregnancy. You'll note that all of the outfits pictures are dresses or skirts. They are SO much cooler in the summer when you're a bajillion degrees. Shorts and pants are fine, but I know when I got to the end I was like NOTHING CAN TOUCH ME EVER and I eschewed anything with more fabric than absolutely necessary.

Mama licious maternity, £21
Old Navy denim maternity, $33
Wet Seal flip flop shoes, $7.99
Peace bag, $23
TopShop beading earrings, $20


When choosing shirts, look for ones that don't require layering. Besides the fact it'll just make you hotter, there's too much adjusting needed when you move around. Looser, lighter fabrics are king and super flattering because they don't give you sausage arms. Down with sausage arms! And flip flops are your friends when you're retaining fluid. Now, you'll notice that these are decidedly NOT capris. That's because a skirt will be cooler and not showcase pregnancy cankles. Lovely!

Short sleeve cardigan, $7.99
Maternity, £25
Forever21 flat thong sandals, $19
Ruffle bag, $15
Amrita Singh metal bracelet, $40
Belle Noel by Kim Kardashian hoop earrings, $49

Maxi dresses own my heart for pregnancy. They are mucho adorable and so easy because it's one piece. I know you can handle one piece. They are practically pajamas. Go ahead, have a nap in one. It's great. If you're self conscious about pregnancy arms, totally wear a drapey sweater if you can handle it in the heat. I also noticed that when I was preggo I liked to keep my chest bare and wear earrings and bracelets instead. That may be because I had awesome pregnancy boobs and wanted everyone to see, but it also had something to do with the fact that necklaces made me sweaty.

Isabella oliver maternity, $81
ALDO t strap sandals, $45
Dorothy Perkins clutch bag, £10
Pearl jewelry, $11
Calla freshwater pearl jewelry, $25

No matter what, some jerk friend always wants to get married right when I'm massively pregnant. Like, hello, gestating a fetus here... can we wait? Just kidding, I didn't expect people to plan around my gargantuan-ness, but it was always hard to find something cute for a formal occasion. For dressing up, I like an outfit that shows the belly, otherwise I think people must just think I'm fat. This dress is so cute. If you can handle heels, by all means, but this would be just as cute with ballet flats. Note that the heels are substantial.. don't teeter around on stilettos when massively pregnant, please. It's disconcerting. Dress up, eat the food and waddle out the door before your ankles swell.

Does that give you hope for the last few months of summer pregnancy? Definitely hang out in your undies as much as you want... but put something cute on before you leave the house lest you startle the neighbors!

You Can Burn More Calories

To maintain a

healthy weight, you've got to burn calories. Sometimes, though, it seems that you just can't burn enough in the time you have to spend exercising. Wish you could make better use of the time y

ou have working out to burn all the calories you can? No problem. With these tips, you'll burn more calories than ever!

Hit the water running!

Okay you know now that water makes you weigh less, and it allows you to work out even if you have painful arthritis. But did you know that water is also one of the best ways to burn calories? Simply get in the water and jog around the shallow end. Unlike your leisurely jogs in the park, a run in the water provides extra resistance that makes it much harder to run with ease. The end result? Maximum calorie loss without all the sweating!

Go to the Beach

As with water running, taking a jog or run on the beach forces your body to work harder than if you were on a treadmill or sidewalk. The shifting ground under your feet also helps strengthen your core. So you burn more calories and build more muscle, all while enjoying the beautiful beach.

Enter the Racquetball Court

How many exercises do you know of that can burn as many as 400 calories in half an hour? Yes, an intense game of racquetball can indeed get rid of that many calories. Full of sprints, direction changing, and an occasional volley that seems to last forever, racquetball is your best bet for small-court calorie burning.

"If only calories burned as easily as toast" - Unknown

Hop on the Bike

Want to burn as many calories as racquetball without having to stand up? Then it's time to climb on a bicycle. Whether you go for a ride in the great outdoors or go with a stationary bike, a hard ride can reap the same calorie-burning benefits as racquetball. If you really push it, you can even burn more calories than your racquetball-loving friends.

Get Started Early

Wish there was a way to burn calories all day long? There is. All you have to do is squeeze your routine in before heading off to work. Sound impossible? Do a quick evaluation of your routine. What keeps you from early exercise? If it's too hard to wake up early, turn off the television an hour earlier and go to bed so you can wake up earlier. Don't have someone to watch the kids in the morning? Do a light workout in your living room in the morning and get to the gym in the afternoon. Even a small workout will get your heart pumping and help you burn calories throughout your day.

Always Start Warm

No matter what you plan to do in the gym, you'll work harder and longer after a brief warm up. So instead of starting out with dumbbells in your hands, hop on a treadmill or stationary bike to get the sweat flowing. After a brief jog or bike ride, your heart will be working well, and your muscles will be warm and full of blood, ready to take on whatever you throw its way.

Do the Little Things

Big burning doesn't always come in big packages. During your daily routine, you can take little steps that add up to burned calories. Don't take the closest parking place, take the stairs, walk to your coworker's office instead of calling him or her, and play air drums or air guitar to your favorite songs. Along with the other exercise-centric steps, these will give you even more calorie-burning power on a daily basis.

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker

www.fitmommakeover.net

Freaky Friday: Happy First and Fourth!

So I woke in a good mood this morning for like 10 reasons. The first? It's the Friday of a long weekend, which means food and fireworks and buying stupid crap at art fairs and stuff like that. The second? I had a dream where I made out with Justin Timberlake. We were at some awards show. We should make that happen IRL. Also, it's freaky friday! Can you believe that when I went in search of patriotic bad fashion, I found it? You don't say! A word to the wise for both my Canadian and American fans celebrating their respective holidays: dressing like a flag is not cute.


K, this first picture made me laugh so hard. When I posted the maternity picture freaky friday, my adorable friend Ashleigh, who is another Canadian transplant living down here mentioned that it weirded her out that she had all of the stuff in the infamous gun/watermelon picture. I joked that it was the American way! Nothing says patriotism like guns and watermelons! So she sent me this:


Best picture OF MY LIFE. I was also pretty excited that she tagged me as the watermelon and not as the gun on Facebook. Especially because I'm scared of guns. They are super terrifying. But seriously, four stars for Ash for going the distance with this picture. I shall buy her pizza.


America: Land of the free and home of the drunk and smelly.

Seriously. I'm not even a Yankee and I'm *pretty* sure this isn't allowed.



Don't worry -- bad fashion choices are not limited to American flags alone. Nothing shows your Canadian pride by stomping all over the maple leaf, amiright?


I think I just heard Abraham Lincoln weeping.



Now this. THIS is what the forefathers fought so hard for: you to defile their memory by wearing quite possibly the world's ugliest shoes. With rolled up pants, natch.

"Hey baby... there's a political party in my pants and you're invited."
"Leave me alone Anthony Weiner!"

(PS: HIS LAST NAME IS WEINER!!!)


Oh, young love. And oh, creating patriotic clothes out of duct tape and wearing them to prom and posting them on the internet. Memories.



"Ladies, ladies... you'll all get a chance to 'salute the flag."
"OMG Weiner, you are not even Canadian."
"Meh, it was worth a try."



This cat is two seconds away from moving to Czechoslovakia.


Make this girl a deaf/mute and you have a recipe for instant pageantry win.


Wow. I super love how this picture perpetuates like 900 different Canadian stereotypes. Mostly that the entire country is covered in ice and we're all fisherman. Note to self: wearing a skimpy bikini with winter socks and wellies is an instant hotness killer. There go my plans for swimming at the North Pole.

That's it for me! I'm off to daydream about Justin Timberlake and get ready to head out for the weekend. I hope that everyone has a safe and happy Canada Day and Independence Day and remembers not to be weird and wear patriotic bikinis.

No Heat Hair

I think we all know how vocal I am about hating summer. I am not a hot weather girl. We were just on vacation and it was blazing hot and it just made me become whiny and unpleasant. Just ask my husband.

I'm all about fall. When autumn hits, I'm the happiest girl ever. I get to wear cute blazers, spend time blowing out my hair and wear boots again. Oh, boots. But alas, it is just the beginning of summer, which means shorts, tees and flip flops for me. In the summer months, you basically have to pay me to get me to blow dry my hair. Something about being in my hot bathroom after a shower and blasting my heat with heat with it's 100 degrees outside doesn't *really* appeal to me. So I tend to go au naturel and just let my hair air dry. Problem is, I have super thick, wavy hair that can make me look like a hobo if I'm not careful, so I'm always on the lookout for hairstyles that I can pull off without heat. The last few days I tested out a few new styles to report to you and I'm EXCITED!


So last year I positively lived in the side braid. I think it's because when I don't blowdry my hair, the front gets a little wonky and flat so I'm always looking to get it out of the way. But I'm still totally wearing it like this all summer, especially since we spend a lot of time swimming and in and out of water and I don't have time to fuss with my hair a lot. To try this for yourself, just gather a small section of hair over your forehead, leaving section in front that you can gather from for your french braid. Then, braid it back and pin it wherever you want. This also looks super cute in a ponytail too.

Also... I got a new couch since that picture... so don't feel bad for me anymore.


The other day I had to do something with my hair before I went out to run errands and I found a superlong scarf that I usually save for fall. Seriously, the thing is like 10 feet long. Luckily, I was dressed pretty plainly in a white tee and khaki skirt, so I pulled my hair in a quick pony, tied this around my forehead and shook the pony out. Um, hello instant hair. Then I just let the ends fall over one shoulder and it was totally boho and looked like I used effort. YAY for pretend effort!


So the other day I came across this tutorial for doing no-heat curls and I was a little skeptical because it seemed TOO easy. Like, I actually had all of the stuff to do it in my vanity already and that never happens. It's also why I never make crafts. ANYWAY, I decided to try it anyway, which you would already KNOW if you were a fan on Facebook (see right) and OMGOMGOMGOMG I can't believe how awesome it turned out.


Can you believe I got these with NO heat and about three hours? It's the most brilliant thing ever. You really need to watch the tutorial, but basically all you need is a sport stretchy headband. Seriously, that's it. I washed my hair, combed through some mousse and let it air dry before tying up my hair and it really worked perfectly. I am a believer! When I took the headband out I added some flexible hairspray, tousled with my hands and I was donezo. I want to try it overnight to see what results I get.


Then, since I was heading out to something more casual, I pinned half up and called it good. The curls totally lasted all night and I still have bouncy waves this morning. I also really love the half up look when I haven't blow dried. I just pin my bangs back and pull the rest up. The trick to making it look messy and romantic is to use bobby pins, not a hair elastic. Just cross 'em so they stay forever.

Hopefully that's enough to get you out of the ponytail zone this summer. Although, I do understand the necessity of a ponytail. The other day I was being vain and wore my hair down to a workout class and then cursed myself the entire time... eww sweaty neck. I'm just saying you don't need a ponytail EVERYDAY. Summer is made for messier hair. Embrace the mess!

Anyone else have any good summer hair ideas?

Exercise and High Blood Pressure

If you have been diagnosed with hypertension, you have been told that you have high blood pressure. If you have been told you have this you are lucky you know, up to 30% of people are unaware that they have hypertension which can be very serious.

High blood pressure has often been called the "silent killer" because it can increase your risk for heart attack, stroke, heart failure even kidney disease.

If 30% of people don't know they have high blood pressure, who can get it?

Anyone can have it, but it is more prevalent in middle- aged and elderly, obese, heavy drinkers, diabetics and women taking oral contraceptives.

High blood pressure tends to run in my family so even though I exercise regularly, and watch what I eat, every time I am at the doctor's for my annual check up, I make sure they check my blood pressure (I never have to ask, they just always do it), but what I do need to ask is what exactly it is. Whenever I ask, they always say it's fine...well I want to know exactly what the numbers are. So be sure to have them tell you the specifics.

What do the numbers mean??

When you have your blood pressure checked, there will be 2 numbers. A typical normal blood pressure is 120/80. The 120 is measuring the pressure against the artery walls when the heart contracts which is also called systolic blood pressure. The second number, 80 is the pressure against the artery walls during rest and is also called diastolic blood pressure.

You will probably be diagnosed with high blood pressure if you get a reading of 140-159/90-99 mmHg or higher.

The good news is that exercise helps to reduce or even eliminate high blood pressure. If you are someone that doesn't currently do any exercise, start with medium intensity for 20-30 minutes a few days a week. Ideally you would work up to doing something everyday. Walking, swimming, riding your bike are great choices.

If you are not sure, check with your doctor first before you start something completely new.

Tips to Lower Blood Pressure

1. Make some changes in your diet. Cut out refined sugar, and increase the amount of fruits and vegetables eaten.

2. Increase your exercise 20-30 minutes at least 3 days a week.

3. Eat smaller more frequent meals

4. Limit or better yet cut out alcoholic beverages. Often these are only filled with empty calories.

5. Eat whole grain carbohydrates like brown rice, whole wheat pasta.

6. Drink more water.

Having high blood pressure doesn't have to be a death sentence. By making some small changes in your lifestyle, you can reduce or even better eliminate it and live a long and healthy life.

source: American Council on Exercise

Committed to your fitness success,

Kelly Parker
www.fitmommakeover.net

Revisiting: Capri Alternatives, or That Girl That I Hate

So I KNOW this is a repost, but I thought I'd revisit the whole capri debate. Especially since I'm leaving on vacation TODAY and still need to make a batch of muffins. MUFFINS! Since when am I so domestic?

Before I repost this, I'd like to reiterate when I dislike capris. I dislike when they cut across the widest part of your leg. That automatically makes your leg look short and wide. If you want to wear capris or their kinder, gentler cousins, crops, make sure they cut across the slimmer part of your ankle.

This post sparked all sorts of debate last time around, but I stand by my opinion. Let's try this again!

********************************************

It's no secret that I really, really dislike capri-pants. I totally own a pair of pants that can be rolled and tied into capris, but does that really count? Doubt it. Here are some of the reasons I think capris are the modern mom's worst enemy.

1) They make you look stumpy because they cut your leg off at the chubby-calf area.

2) They are always made of some wishy washy fabric like linen or polyester. And in light, unflattering colors like white. And they have those awful slits in the side. Ugh.

3) They are never worn properly. Ill-fitting t-shirts and thick-soled flip flops abound.

4) They scream frumpalicious. And, bonus reason they make your butt look like a flat pancake. Which would be okay if pancake butts are in. Alas, they are not.

5) I once worked with a girl who wore capris and flip flops EVERY DAY to the office, no matter the weather. They made her look three feet tall and develop severe cankles. She ALWAYS pairs them with a horizontally striped shirt and subsequently ruined my day every time I saw her... which was every day. Also, she sometimes was nice to me, and sometimes was evil, so it created sad feelings which were related to the capris.

Is that enough reason for you?

I understand why moms enjoy the capri pant (which by the way, is any pant that ends anywhere between below the knee to mid-shin. Anything longer is considered a crop, which I quite enjoy in the right context.)


These are awful. And an abomination in my sight. Be gone, stumpifying pant-wear!

I see. They are cool in the summer, when you don't want to wear heavy jeans. They are easy to wear, and you can pair them with fug sandals. But I contest that capris should not be your only choice when it comes to summer wear, even if you are trying to hide your post-partum ham-thighs. (I've been there, friend.) Dresses, skirts and shorts are all totally adorable and put together, without looking so very PTA.

Ch-check it out.

Items in this set:
Miso Ditsy Cute Dress, 25 GBP
Forever21.com - Damsel Sweater Cardigan, $20
Hoodies & Jackets « Off The Wall Clothing
Frye Carson Pull On, $350
Fashion Handbags, Wallets, Totes - Teens - Vanity, $27

Okay, so the boots are pricey, but can I tell you how much I LOVE summer dresses with a harder edge? This type of outfit will be much cooler than capris in the hot weather, not to mention you'll look smokin' hot AND right at home at a Tim McGraw concert. Try doing boots or flats with a light cotton-y dress that you've belted for definition. Can't you see this shopping at the local craft fair? LOVE. PS, how awesome are craft fairs in general? I love summer and the wacky stuff people try and sell, I really do. Anyhow. I know that the first time you wear a dress on a Wednesday you're going to be feel weird and dressed up. This is normal. Keep trying.

Items in this set:
Red ruched sleeve top, 19 GBP
dandelion bowtie skirt, $47
Roxy 'Only a Girl' Handbag (Girls), $32
Mod Retro Indie Clothing & Vintage Clothes, $28
Vintage style pearl ring, £8, Asos | Asos April Drop | InStyle UK

I LOVE skirts in the summer. This one is tres adorable with its nautical print, right? Anyway, see how summery and adorable it looks? And it gives you a chance to show off the long line of your leg, not the chopped off thick part that a pair of capris accentuates. The best part about skirts is you can wear them with a tee during the day, and pop on better accessories for a date night or bbq-type get together. Also, this outfit makes me want to go for a vintage bike ride in the city. I don't have a vintage bike. Also, I live closer to cows than city. But still.

Items in this set:
Sunny cotton V-neck cardigan, $160
American Eagle AE Women's Plaid Camp Shirt Blue Plaid, $35
Khaki linen long shorts, 18 GBP
Flats|Shoes:Women's Casual Flats, Sexy Flats, Black Flats,White Flats,..., $14
Candice Stud Tote, $27

Don't worry, uber-casual girls! I didn't forget about you. Shorts are totally fine for the summer. I love me a good pair of cargo or walking shorts. Just make sure they stop BEFORE the knee-cap, or you'll land back in stumps0ville. Shorts can make you look unbalanced when they are cut too slim, so look for a cuff or detail around the bottom to help balance the look out. I like to pair my shorts with something more substantial up top to avoid looking like a camp counselor (I wore an outfit like this one grocery shopping the other day. I might have been pushing the summer thing just a little). Wear with flats, flip flops or wedges and you are totally set.

So, have I talked anyone out of capris yet? Please say I have. I promise I will leave my pants unrolled if you promise to try a summer skirt? Deal? K.