Freaky Friday

So, how did everyone like Cheap Tricks week? Something you want to see again or no? Because I have roughly a bazillion cheap tricks up my proverbial sleeves. And also my literal sleeves.

But now it's time for Friday and further prove that "expensive" doesn't automatically mean "good." Here are some of the most heinous pricey finds I've seen.

 This is my favorite. It's a "maxi skirt" (heavy emphasis on those quotation marks) that Amy sent over. My favorite are the "skirt" details: 

"no pockets, unlined, rear slit"

no pockets

no pockets 

NO POCKETS 

 PS it's $585 I'm dead.

 Sara sent me this skirt that is a relative steal at $60. On the bright side? It's cheaper than an x-ray AND it helps remind you to take your vitamin D. 

 If Jerry Seinfeld had a less-attractive, colorblind twin sister. And had $1,260 to spend on ugly dresses.

 Oh REALLY Marc Jacobs!? We're selling sweatshirts from my childhood at $1,300 are we? Because I probably have like, 6 in storage.

 This is either a shrug or something your cat barfed onto your carpet. I can't tell. 

 For when you feel peskily small around your midsection and want to add about 10 lbs and what appear to be harlequin elephant legs for the tidy sum of $1,825.

 You guys. This is a $1,700 Cosby sweater.

Stoppit, fashion. 

For when you want to look like a slightly more masculine Michael Jackson. It's $2,390 which is probably what he spent on waffles so it's really a steal when you think about it. 

Oh fashion, you so crazy. Always proving that it takes a lot of money to look really cheap.

 

Cheap Tricks: Manicure Saver

I am notoriously impatient when it comes to nail polish. I put it on and will definitely have it smudged within about 90 seconds. While I almost never wear polish on my fingernails -- I have a wicked nail biting problem -- I almost always have my toes all polished up. Problem is that when I do get a spare minute to do my nails, I end up getting up and having to get someone a cup of chocolate milk or something and I get it smudged. And I haaaaaaate smudges.

So imagine my happiness when a friend introduced me to this $5 wonder:

It's called Seche Vite and it's literally the best top coat that you'll ever use. Not only does it make your nails super shiny -- it even works on matte polish -- but it dries rock-hard in 60 to 90 seconds. My favorite part is that you can put it right over wet nail polish. HELLO, time saver! Then, it makes your nail polish last forever. I got five to seven days without chips on my hands and up to two weeks on my toenails.

Even when I have my pedi done at a salon, I rush home and slick this stuff on top. It makes my pedi last longer, which means saving money. And at home, it saves my frustration level when I don't have to use nail remover and start again after my kids drag a stuffed animal over my toes while they're driving.

For $5? Totally worth it.

P.S. I am not getting reimbursed for this post. I just love this so much that I would name a child after it.

P.P.S. Don't really do that. It's French for "dry fast."

P.P.P.S. That's the extent of my six years of mandatory French.

Cheap Tricks: Homemade Toner

Just in case yesterday's cheapie post wasn't MINDBLOWING enough, I have more for you.

So, I have a confession to make: my skin sucks. Like, big time. It's a huge jerk and I'd punch it if the face if it wasn't, well, my face. Seriously, it's totally T-zone oily but dry around the edges and literally every product I use irritates the crap out of it. And I've tried pretty much every product possible to clear up my skin and nix oiliness without completely drying my face out. And I've never been loyal to anything because I've never found anything that was super-effective.

A couple of months ago, I was suffering through a particularly heinous stress breakout when I turned to Google for help. After doing some excellent research and by research I mean reading online forums, I came up with a recipe for a toner that has seriously transformed my skin. Yeah, I'll get the occasional zit, but this stuff zaps 'em. This stuff has also changed the appearance of my skin, getting rid of faded scars and shrinking pores, too. When I went to Moab, I didn't bring it with me and the next week my skin was back to its old tricks and I was so mad at myself.

In short, this is my favorite thing ever. And the best part is that it takes like, pennies to make.

 

Here's all you need:

1/3 cup RAW apple cider vinegar
1 tsp. tea tree oil

1/2 cup water

Spray bottle 

That's it!

I should note that I got both the apple cider vinegar and the tea tree oil from my local grocery store -- nothing special. Just make sure you get the raw stuff. I bought a huge bottle of filtered without thinking and it now is my floor cleaner. Unfiltered is what you want because it has all of the good fruit acids inside. Anyway, the ACV was about $1.50 and I spent $4 on the tea tree oil and both will last forever. I figure I'm mixing this stuff up for like, 25 cents a bottle. And it actually works, unlike pretty much every product that I've spent serious money on.

Now, all I do is mix all the ingredients in a spray bottle and give it a good shake. At night, I wash my face -- right now I'm just using an Olay cleanser -- and then spray my toner on a cotton round. Swipe it all over your face and you're finished! If I do have a zit, I like to saturate the cotton a little more and hold it over the blemish for 10 seconds or so. By the next morning it's way smaller and almost gone. 

Another tip? Keep some in the fridge for morning use. I find that it cuts oiliness first thing in the morning and the cold shrinks pores so my makeup looks better too.

You can totally adjust the amounts, as well. If your skin is way oily and doesn't dry out, I'd add some more ACV. If your skin is more acne prone, up the tea tree oil a bit. Play with it until you've got the combo that works for you. And yes, your husband will complain about the smell of the tea tree oil: it's really strong and herb-y. But he can deal with it, because this is your skin we're talking about! 

Give it a try and lemme know what you think!

Cheap Tricks: $1 Eye Highlighter

** Prayers to Boston. This has been my favorite response to it all.**


As promised, this week is all about my cheapest makeup and beauty tricks I use everyday -- three in particular. Today's is definitely the easiest and the cheapest of all three -- that's because it literally costs $1 and about two seconds out of your day.

It's this little baby, here:

This, my friends, is e.l.f.'s Essential Shimmering Facial Whip. I've been using it for years, but it has a really special application that I looooove. And that's making me look awake in the morning.

All I do is take my teeny tube of this stuff (which lasts forever, by the way) and squeeze a miniscule amount on the back of my hand.

Seriously, that is more than enough. Any more and you're going to look like a slutty fairy.

Then, I dab my finger into the little schmear and then dab my finger onto my tear ducts.

It acts as a shimmery highlighter that makes you look super awake and like you weren't up reading on your iPad until 1 am, not that I do that or anything.

Shimmery tear ducts FTW! Look at them! Look at theeeeeeemmm.

Then, as I usually have some leftover on my hand, I use it to highlight my brow bones, the tops of my cheek bones and then I rub the last little bit right above the bow of my lips. It's just enough shimmer to bring attention to your best features and make you look bright and awake.

Happy days!!

The color I use is the palest one they have -- Lilac Petal. You can nab it form the website (they have free shipping right now) but I just got this one at Target. Easy peasy, $1 and makes you feel like a million. I look positively undead without this stuff.

Alright, that's my first one. Stay tuned for tomorrow, when we will talk about my homemade skin treatment woop woop.

What I Wore: Maiden Voyage

Just so you know, my camera slipped through the couch cushions and I had to dig it out before posting. And voyaging under my couch is deep, dark and scary. So just be aware that I am dedicated to this blog to the point of surfing my hand through cookie crumbs, bobby pins and old lollipops to be here for you.

I FINALLY got to wear my red skirt and I am very happy about that. Especially because I'm on day 15 of my shopping diet (it ends next Thursday YES) and I needed a little pick-me-up. Thanks, red skirt.

 Skirt: Tailor and Stylist (here)

Top: Charlotte Russe
Cardi: H&M
Shoes: Qupid
Bracelet: Umm my brother gave it to me and it's from Botswana
Earrings: F21

At first, there were like, TOO many things I wanted to pair this skirt with. My whole closet was emptied onto my bed and I played dress up for an hour. But I finally decided to just go simple for its maiden voyage. There will be many more times. I have a plummy top I reaaaalllly want to try with this. Stay tuned for that. Meanwhile, it was just neutral colors with a pop of leopard -- my fave.

 Can you tell I've been watching a lot of Mad Men lately? Pencil skirts for everyone! 

Hooray for hips!

 I bet you were wishing this skirt had a bow on the bum WELL GOOD BECAUSE THERE IS.

POW!
Dat bow!

Also can I point out that this baby was under $25. I love me a steal! And this week, I'm going to feature my favorite cheapie beauty products and secrets each day, so keep checking. Tomorrow's secret is $1 I kid you not. Hint: it's the only way I stop from looking like a zombie everyday. Get ready for some awesome tips and gratuitous selfies all. week. long.

Don't act like your interest isn't piqued.

Awesome Ways to Style Your Maxi Skirt

It's no secret that I love me a maxi skirt. And ever so slowly, I'm amassing a large quantity of skirts that make me want to flounce through fields and do dramatic skirt swooshes, which is totally a thing. So while I was Pinteresting and looking for inspiration on how to spruce up my sale-old maxi, I found awesome inspiration from even awesomer fashion bloggers who I'll just share with you. Check out this linky love and then go -- go and wear your maxi skirts until they become threadbare!

Here are some of my faves:

Kenzie+Faith does it with a leather jacket, which is my fave maxi topper. It  takes the look out of Little House on the Prairie right into grunge territory. I even love the all-dark colors she's working with. So amazing for a date night.

Sydney kills it by pairing a pink maxi with a denim jacket and nothing else and I bow down. It's so fresh and pretty without being dowdy, which can sometimes happen with excessive layering -- I"m looking at you, hipsters.

In Honor of Design first of all, MAKES her own green maxi skirt which is just unfathomable to me. But then she pairs it with a knotted chambray shirt which is amazingly adorable and something I love to do. Makes for just a cute shape and it's casual enough to wear running errands.

Style Pantry is doing her maxi skirt with a kitschy graphic tee and I love it. I have a black and white maxi skirt that looks sooo cute with vintage-graphics and that makes me happy because when I see a graphic tee, I must buy it. I have three drawerfuls I'm not even lying.

Also check out how she does a head-to-toe mono look here. With the leopard? I'm dying. Resuscitate me, please. So cute.

Tori @ Marvelous Things Photography dresses up her maxi skirt with a blazer. Blazers and maxi skirts go together like peanut butter and bananas. But not jelly because I hate jelly. Bananas. But really, how cute and fresh does she look? Answer: Very cute and fresh.

Okay, fine, this is me. But when you wear a maxi skirt with a safe cardigan, define your waist, pretty please. Otherwise you're gonna get all slouchy and hobo-y and I don't know how I feel about that.


So... what's your fave way to wear a maxi?

What I Wore: Barbershop

It's not often that I see something I want and buy it off the cuff. I usually hum and haw, look for coupon codes, compare against other stuff and then get around to buying it. But this dress called my name and I had it bought and paid for in about five minutes flat. I loved how it looked like an old timey barbershop barber pole. And I was like "Wow, I don't yet own anything that makes me look like an old timey barber pole" and so I bought it because I have excellent decision-making skills.  If it's speaking to you and it's saying "Buy me and forget that your electric bill is due," you can here.

OK and I also bought this skirt about five minutes later. I can't wait to show you guys. It's so good. SO GOOD.

Anyway, this dress was perfect last week when I took my kids to a big old indoor playground to help burn off Spring Break energy. I brought my iPad and read (I just finished Wolf Hall by Hilary Mantel) and it was lovely. My kids checked in every 10 minutes or so and I was reminded about how awesomely fantastic it is to have older kids. Four and seven is my happy place.

 Dress: Tailor and Stylist
Jacket: Old Navy
Shoes: Ardene (Canada) 

I'm not wearing a speck of jewelry. I'd like to tell you that it was because the pretty belt was jewel enough and sartorially, I didn't feel like this outfit needed extra adornment but really, it was because I was going to a flippin' indoor playground and didn't feel like it.

These are BY FAR the ugliest shoes I own. They're like a hybrid moccasin married to a flip flop making a lovechild with a Mary Jane. And yet... this is my second pair. I wear them everywhere and have learned to be OK with the fact that they're ugly.

Also, check out the adorbs belt on this sucker. It's metal and red and I die.

Anyway, it's back to business today since Spring Break is officially over. I plan to celebrate by showing my to do list who's boss and then having a nap woo!