What I Wore: Spring Fling

OK, so I might be jumping the gun on this one. But this weekend was so glorious and sunny and warm that I had to drag out my bermudas to see the light of day again. I missed them! And it become a "If You Give a Mouse a Cookie" scenario, where if I wore my shorts, I needed to get out my yellow wedges. And if I wore my yellow wedges, I had to wear a bright necklace. And on it went. I wore this with a skirt for church and then promptly changed into shorts for a Sunday nap, a walk around the block and family dinner.

Of course, they're saying it will be lovely all week and then snowy again on the weekend. KILL ME. I moved to Utah to escape the neverending Canadian winters. Now it's warm up there and cold down here and I'm thinking I made a mistake. Ah well. In a few months I'll be complaining about heat and you'll be like "OMG Jae shutup."


Button updown: American Eagle
Sweater: Banana Republic
Shorts: Gap
Wedges: Nine West
Bracelet (actually a necklace) Buckle
Ring and earrings: F21


Not gonna lie, the bright colors made me oh so very happy. Any time I get to wear yellow shoes, I'm in a good mood.

Now all I need is a tan. Pleaseaohpleaseohplease stay warm.

What say ye? Is it shorts weather where you are yet?

Freaky Friday

Happy Friday everyone! I just got back from a yoga class so I'm feeling pretty zen. Also, I'm craving a pastrami burger, which happens EVERY TIME I do yoga. Don't even ask.

I'm playing "good mom" today by heading back to the air gym where the fateful back-dive happened. I'm definitely not going to be playing today. Safely on the sidelines, thank you.

Today's FF is almost entirely driven by readers. I heart you with much hearting, readers. Keep 'em coming!




WHY is there so much unicorn stuff out there? Is there really a market for anime-type dresses like this? Ugh, sometimes my daughter makes me watch The Last Unicorn with her. Is it me or is it the worst movie ever made? So I feel like I have a general grudge against unicorns.

In other news, I now hate rainbows and lollipops.

(Thanks Sara!)


Then Shawna sent this along with the idea that this girl should hook up with my unicorn man from last year. I think Shawna is more legit than the Millionaire Matchmaker. Aw, little demented baby unicorns!


Ashely sent me an entire website of shoes just like these. And by "just like these" I meant "that looked like native American llamas with sexy hair.


Francie sent me what might be the worst shoes ever. Clogs are ugly enough without needing conditioner too. Seriously... I feel like these belong in Dr. Seuss and not in modern society.



Kara sent me these Prada shoes which remind me of the Hunger Games. Does anyone want to buy them for me so I can dress up while I'm waiting in line for tickets in a couple of weeks? I totally wish I could dress up for the Hunger Games. I'm a huge HG nerd to the point that I get emotional over the previews. Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

(Team Gale! Because he's hotter and makes me feel like less of a creepy cougar!)


Yay more Rufio shoes! Ru-fi-ohhhhhhhhh.


Sheriece sent me these. I love it. Watching someone tap his crotch while looking at a computer doesn't seem suspicious. At all. Definitely try it at Starbucks.

On the bright side, I think I found Nemo.

(Thanks, Kara!)


A little less starch next time, probably. Also, can I pack a soggy PB&J and apple in her? That would be convenient.


Hillary called this a Care Bear on crack. I was thinking more along the lines of the weird villains that always fight the Power Rangers. That never really die but more turn to glitter so as not to upset the little ones.

Translation: You'll probably see Lady Gaga wearing this soon.


Becky sent me what might be the worst pants EVER made. Here's a tip ladies, you never want men to associate your legs with a jungle. It's just not great. Unless you're married to Bear Grylls, in which case jungle pants might be exciting in an eat-a-snake, drink-your-urine kind of way.

I know I complain about bad fashion a lot, but if there wasn't any, we wouldn't have Freaky Friday. So thanks, bad designers of the world. Keep putting out crap!

Happy weekend!

Fast Fixes for Weird Hair Issues

Am I the only one whose hair totally freaks out every winter? It's like it finally can't handle the dryness and indoor heating so it punishes me by sticking up all over the place and getting caught in the car door when I'm in a rush. This happens to me DAILY and makes me want to say bad words and yell at inanimate objects.

So this year, I set about trying to find ways to deal with my biggest hair issues, which are usually weird sticky-uppy hairs, static and overstyling. Can I tell you what works for me? Keep in mind my hair type, because it's pretty average and these fixes will work for most people like me, but not for like, crazy extreme cases. But then you can totally tell us in the comments what you do for your hair and all will be right with the world.

Major Static

Seriously, static is the bane of my existence, and it's so so bad when I let my hair air dry. Which is great because I let my hair air dry like, five days out of seven. So I've played around with a few different products to tame the hair that looks like it desperately trying to escape from my head.

Once I'm done shampooing, I use my conditioner and rinse it out. Then, just before i hop out of the shower, I grab another dime-sized amount of conditioner and smooth it all the way through my hair, but then don't rinse it out. This helps to add a little extra weight to my noggin to cut down on static.

When that isn't enough, I also use a finishing product. Cream-based ones are definitely the best for me. I like a styling creme that I run through my hair at the very end of styling, but guess what else works? Hand cream. When I'm in a pinch ie: in public and away from my massive store of products, I just wet my hands with water, get a pump of hand lotion and distribute it through my hair. Ta-da!

Weird, Baby Hairs

Do you guys know what I'm talking about when I saw "baby hairs?" Let me create a beautiful picture for you.

So last October, I was going through some major professional stress. I was making the jump from working for a specific company to going freelance and the transition was HARD. So I was super stressed out and for some reason my body likes to interpret stress as a cue to make me go completely bald. I lost SO. MUCH. HAIR. I would run my hand through it and come up with a handful of strands. Gross, right?

Well, everything worked out and I'm a happy little freelancer and that's great, but now all of that hair I lost has been growing back in. Yay, right! No. It stands up all over my head and I look like a crazy person who has been electrocuted. That is not hot. If you've ever had this problem, here's how to fix it.

First, get to your hairdresser. Like, now. When I explained my issue, my main hair girl cut in some bangs and layers so the baby hairs blended in. Then, I learned to never flip my head upside down when I blowdry. I usually looove to do this to get honkin' huge hair, but when I'm dealing with these little baby hairs I've gotta keep it smooth. That means blowdrying at a downward angle and smoothing them out as I go. Add a little serum to finish and bye-bye babies!

Over-Styling

OK, so this is totally superfluous and shouldn't matter, but it irks me. My hair holds a curl really, really well. Like, to the point that if I'm not careful, I look like a deranged Shirley Temple. That's no bueno! So I've learned to relax on the overstyling so that my curls look more grown-up. How?

Well, first, I use a flat iron to curl my hair. If you don't know about this I don't think we can be friends. Second, when I've done the curl, I quickly grab it and yank it down while the hair is still warm. This helps to loosen it up. Finally, I flat iron the ends a little straight. That way you get beachy waves instead of Toddlers and Tiaras curls. That's creepy.

Hair still totally freaking out?

It's called a hat. Get one. They're cute as long as it's not a daily thing and you don't wear gross trucker hats like that phase that Paris Hilton went through.


So, spill. What's your worst hair problem and how do you deal? I am completely aware that there are bigger fish to fry in the world right now but seriously, if my hair looks bad, no one in my house is having a good day. lol, kidding! Sort of.

What I Wore: Cocktail

(OMG, remember that movie? Cocktail? One time we watched it in Sociology class in school and I still have no idea why. It did give be a burning desire to become a fancy bartender with smooth moves, though.)

SO I just spent the night with a barfy kid. My thanks to whoever allowed their sick child to lick the grocery cart before I used it. Really, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

But on Friday night I was much farther away from The Great Kindergartner Sickness of '12. I was helping out at a benefit for our hospital's NICU. Each year they do an event with an auction and entertainment to benefit the pediatric and NIC unit of three of our local hospitals. As a NICU volunteer, I'm all over that business. I was helping out with the silent auction, which basically meant I stood around and tried to encourage bidding wars between rich guys.

The event is semi-formal and cocktail attire, but some people go crazy. Floor-length gowns are always my favorite. I was telling my friend that it would be totally boss if some lady showed up with a fox fur, but no such luck. So I decided to err on the side of cocktail/semi-formal and break out my new cocktail dress, even though I totally would love to show up in a floor-length ballgown. This dress is one of about 10 cocktail frocks that I own, despite the fact that I never actually drink cocktails.


Dress: Dorothy Perkins
Jacket: F21
Shoes: Windsor
Bracelet + Ring: Charlotte Russe
Sweet mother of mercy I need a tan.

(Fun story about this dress! I saw it on Pinterest and became very obsessed and convinced my husband to buy it for me when I was in a bad mood. He can and will buy my love. I love the color TOO Much and it also comes in jade green, coral, black and cream. I DIE.)


I went all Magyver and wore the same outfit on Sunday because I slept in. SCORE. Also, this is what happens when I let my 3 year old pose the shot for me. Tyra would be proud.


Yes, a giant turquoise cocktail ring was necessary.

And lest you think I'm some kind of superhero, I only lasted in these shoes for about 2.5 hours. After my part in the silent auction was over and I was headed to stuff my face with like, soup shooters and shrimp scampi, I changed into my lace flats. I have my limits, people. My feet thanked me the next morning.

So, today I've done a complete 180 and declaring it a sick kid movie day. I shall wear my pajamas with pride!

Freaky Friday: The Oscars

There is TOO much to discuss for Freaky Friday today. If you emailed or posted Freaky Friday entries to me this week, never fear, I shall post them next week. But today, today I have to talk about The Oscars and a little about a certain actress who like to put out certain Spring shopping lists that tally up to thousands of dollars and makes me angry.

Shall we? I feel like I need to address each one of these personally. I hope all of these celebs read my site. I can only imagine that they do.



You knew I had to start with Angelina Jolie, right?

Dear Angelina Jolie (Can I call you Anglie? I feel like I can do that.)

I don't know if you remembered this, but you're ANGELINA effing JOLIE. You've been named the Most Beautiful Person in the Universe Throughout All History like, 24 times. You're married to Brad Pitt and have a cool, multicultural family. You once wore a vial of Billy Bob Thorton's blood around your neck.

WHY ARE YOU TRYING SO HARD?

Yes, I noticed that your dress had a slit. But shoving your bony leg in everyone's direction is weird. You don't need to do that. You DO need to eat a sandwich, but you don't need to show me your slit. I KNOW.

On the bright side, your makeup looks lovely.

Kisses!
Jae


Dear Sandra.

We would totally be friends in real life. I just know it. We could braid each other's hair and I could play with your cute black baby and you could dish about how Jesse James is actually illiterate. It would be awesome.

If we were IRL friends and I saw you try on this dress and you asked me how it looked, I'd be all "Oh honey you look like a lobster is attacking your waist and you have man shoulders" And then we'd laugh and you'd buy me a car and we'd be best friends forever.

Kisses,
Jae


Dear Melissa,

I know you won an Oscar last year and that's a lot to live up to, especially because after Halle Berry won, she mat cinematic gems like Catwoman. I get that. But showing up to the Oscars dressed like a showgirl slash waitress is not going to snag you any auditions. Also, I don't know what's on your wrist, but when it's paired with that dress it basically looks like a calculator watch.

Kisses,
Jae


Dear Ms. Paltrow.

We are not friends. I am mad at you. You released your must-have shopping list for Spring and it totaled over $20,000. Not cool, man. Not cool.

First, there is a pair of elastic-waist denim shorts on your list. Really? REALLY.

Also, everything on the list is another piece of clothing with a boyfriend blazer on top. I get it, you like blazers. Not sure why we all need 72 of them, but OK.

And what planet do you live on where any of your readers have $20,000 to blow on elasticized shorts or a body con dress to "wear to work"? Here are some other things that I would rather spend $20,000 on.
1) A new car without goldfish crumbs down the middle of the seats.
2) A trip to Europe where I get mixed up with a famous debutante and have amazing adventures with my friends. Yes, that is the plot of Monte Carlo.
3) An ill-conceived night in Vegas.
4) Roughly 500 pairs of shoes.
5) The services of a baby concierge to give my next kid a cooler, more obscure name than your child's. I'm hoping something along the lines of Cantaloupe Coolmuffin.

Also, a cape at the Oscars? What are you, the most nasal-y superhero ever?

Kisses,
Jae


Dear Rose,

I feel like you want to sneak in everyone's houses and kill them in their sleep. I'm sure you're a lovely girl -- could I suggest a dress that's long enough next time?

Kisses,
Jae


Hey, Rooney

I know everyone is like, drinking the Rooney KoolAid and crying over how awesome you are, but you look like Lady Gaga's sailor kid sister here. This dress would have been fine without the upside down bra.

Also... sandwich!

Kisses,
Jae


Jenny from the Block,

QUE!? Are you talking to me?

Without the arm cutouts, this dress would be passable. What I have issue with here is the hair. I wore my hair like this to the gym today. You can do better.

Kisses,
Jae


Dear Glennie

After Natalie Portman and Michelle Williams, I legitimately thought you were the best dressed of the night. Green? You're awesome. Your body looks insane and the tuxedo jacket makes you look age appropriate a la Helen Mirren. Could you give a few lessons to Diane Keaton? She's still wandering around looking like Annie Hall and it's sad.

Kisses,
Jae


So what do you think? Want to contest me on any of these? There were so many "meh" dresses this year that it was hard to choose. Although, I'll admit that I don't care about who won or anything like that. Watching famous people pat themselves on the back is a little hard to bear, so I ended up watching The Amazing Race instead.

(photo creds)

Dealing with a Tiny Clothing Budget

OMG I cannot wait for Friday so we can finally talk about the slit heard 'round the world from Angelina Jolie. Did you know her right leg now has it's own Twitter feed. I kid you not.

But today, can we talk budgets? I get approached by various companies hoping to do a review or giveaway or whatever, but a lot of times I turn them down because their product is out of what I would spend on something. I know my audience, and mostly, my audience is 20- and 30-something moms that have smallish clothing budgets. You're probably not going to drop $200 on a pair of lambskin gloves, am I right? Besides, it was a LAMB. Someone skinned a LAMB.

I feel your pain when it comes to budget. We all know by now that my husband and I were basically destitute when we first got married. He went to school and worked two jobs while I waited for my immigration papers to go through. It was a dark, dark period in my life, during which I did uncharacteristic things like scrapbooked and went for walks.

*shudder*

But hello, we're not millionaires. And when I spend too much on clothes, I definitely get a stern look from my hubs, but it doesn't last long because later he'll get hungry and literally doesn't know how to peel an orange without my help. So I try to keep the monthly total as low as possible to spare our marriage and save me from a fleeting stern look. If you're trying to do the same, shall we talk bargain hunting tips?

-Buy accessories. I think I say this a lot. A huge cocktail ring is seriously like, $4 at F21. It'll make all the difference in a plain outfit and it's totally worth the one dollar bills you have floating around the bottom of your diaper bag. Wanna know what I do? I empty out my pockets into my vanity when I'm getting ready for bed at night and then use all the ones that I've accumulated to buy pretty things. Of course, buying everything with ones kinda makes you look like a stripper, but at least a stripper with really good taste in cocktail rings.

-Hit the sales racks. Most stores start clearing out winter stuff for summer inventory by the end of January and February, which is ludicrous because there is definitely still snow on the ground where i live. I've scored tons of great deals on jackets, sweaters and boots by waiting for a bit to buy. No, seriously. Once my husband tried on a jacket he loved, but we couldn't justify the $100 price tag. Come March, it was $15 so I bought it and looked like a high roller. So check out the clearance section... just watch out for the freak sizes. WHO is a size 00. WHO!?

-Give yourself a budget. So I like to shop. That shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. But I don't always blow a huge amount of money on an entirely new wardrobe in one day. In fact, that's never happened -- you know that a lot of the stuff I have is literally years old. Instead, I usually see what I can score for under $30 or $40 and that way, I'm pushed to find better deals and I get in less trouble.

-Save up for big sales. I love the Memorial Day sale in Park City. But I don't want to give the hubs a heart attack, so I usually restrict my spending in May. That way, I do less of a walk of shame when heading back with my purchases because It's about what I would spend in a month anyway.

-Take inventory. Whenever I complain that I have nothing to wear, I need a complete reality check. We talked about wardrobes having good bones, right? Check out your closet and deal with the stuff you had. Not in an annoying "Frugalistashopyourclosetrecessionchic" way, because that makes me barf. But what about taking an afternoon when your kids are out of the house, blasting the Bon Jovi and going through your closet? Actually try stuff on and see how you can mix and match what you already have to come up with new combos. You can also get rid of old stuff. I'll take a bare closet filled with awesome staples over a packed closet filled with crap that doesn't fit any day.

Confession time: sometimes, when I get home from a shopping trip with like, a new scarf, I try stuff on in a weird, teen movie makeover montage way. Try it!

-Swap with friends. Every magazine ever is going on about clothing swaps with friends, but that's not what I mean. Mostly because I don't want to give away my clothes, ever. But I will literally let anyone borrow my clothes and shoes. Like, pretend you're invited to a work cocktail party with your husband. If you don't already have a cocktail dress in your closet, you probably don't want to spend major dough on something you'll wear once. Check with your same-sized friends to see if anyone else does. I'm always happy to lend out my duds to save a friend from budget blowout.

-Invest in the good stuff. Buying a $10 pair of jeans is great -- if you plan on wearing them once in a while. But if you're a die-hard jeans lover and wear them every day, it's best to spend more on a better pair than to buy five pairs of crap quality pants. I invest in daily-wear shoes, but I'll definitely bargain-hunt on a pair of crazy heels.

Is this doable? I feel like there's nothing earth-shattering here (except for the part where I divulged that I listen to Bon Jovi when nobody is home), but sometimes it's worth the reminder that a tiny budget doesn't mean you can go shopping in your South Park pajama pants, (seriously WHY) .

Although I will admit that I totally went to the store to buy toilet paper in my workout clothes today. It was gross and sweaty and I don't want to talk about it.

What I Wore: Impulse Buy

I am the worst when it comes to impulse buying. I just get super distracted by everything else that I see. Then I have what I call "non-buyer's remorse," where if I don't buy something I like, I lament over it for days. The two combined are not a pretty picture. On Friday I was shopping for earrings and other accessories when I came across this skirt and it literally just jumped into my bag. I don't even know what happened. It was just meant to be. Especially because I found it at F21 and shopping there is one of the most frustrating experiences of life. My kids were running around and hiding in racks, the music is always too loud and everything is neon. So when I find something there that I like, I buy it immediately and get the heck out of the store.

The shoes were an impulse buy when I was shopping with some friends a few weeks ago. It was finally non-snowy enough for me to actually wear them, so it was a good day by my measure. I'm easy to please mostly.




Sweater: GAP
Skirt: F21
Shoes: Delicious
Earrings: Local
Cuff watch: Gucci
Rings: lia sophia, Tiffany

Because the skirt was so interesting on its own, I kept everything else super simple. No belts or scarves or other crazy stuff. Just me, my impulse leather skirt and the open road. But not really. Also, I've had this sweater forevvvvvver. I don't wear it very often but I super love the color.




How much fun are these? But you know what wasn't fun? These hurt. I made it through three hours and then was like GET THEM OFF OF ME. But it was totally worth it.


My son wanted to show you his muscles. I wanted to show you my most attractive face EVER and my messy kitchen. Mission accomplished.


Never fear, though. I did actually buy some of the stuff that I was shopping for on Friday. This week is slammed with my daughter's birthday party and a benefit for the hospital that I volunteer with. I'll be on my feet all night, so these shoes are definitely out.

Even I have my limits. Shoe shopping anyone?

Also, was anyone else watching the Oscars just for the dresses? I loved Natalie Portman's vintage Dior and Michelle Williams' dress, but was Gwyneth Paltrow for real wearing a cape? Also, how badly did Angelina Jolie want you to know that she had a slit in her dress? Every single picture and even on stage it was like "Oh this? This is just my crotch-high slit NBD." I'll do a better roundup on Friday, but for real. Who was your favorite?