What I Wore: LBD Love

OK, this week is going to be a little crazy all over the place because I'm heading up North on Wednesday for a week. But I'll still check in periodically and make fun of people traveling in Juicy sweatsuits, I promise.

So eShakti.com approached me a couple of weeks to see if I wanted to try and review one of their pieces from their awesome website. Of course I said yes, and I immediately knew I wanted to pick an LBD for parties and whatever this season. I have a few LBDs in my closet that I love, but they tend to be more "va-va-voomy" and I had my heart set on something more flirty and less Jessica Rabbit. I mean, I love Jessica Rabbit... but not all day, every day. Take note, Kim Kardashian.

This is the dress I picked out. Not only is it crazy adorable, but the eShakti ordering process allows you to get your exact size measurements and customize the pieces to your requests. I loved this dress but I asked for it slightly shortened and with short sleeves for more of a party look. I love love love it with some grown-up Mary Janes and a patterned tight!


Cardi: Dillards
Dress: Courtesy eShakti.com
Tights: F21 (Where else? lol)
Shoes: Charlotte Russe
Ring and hair bow: Payless
Earrings: Local boutique


The layered tiers on this dress are exactly what I wanted for a pretty party dress. Since it's made of a more casual fabric, I also want to try it with a scarf, jean jacket and boots for casual wear. CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!


This is all one ring. Awesome? I think so. And so did the girl at Barnes and Noble who was my cashier while I bought this book on Saturday night. I party hardy. Also, I did a gunmetal manicure to keep the look from getting too sweet. I haven't bitten my nails for a whole month! My mom promised me a manicure in Canada and it's gotten me through the last week.

Anyway, eShakti has been awesome enough to offer any of my readers $20 off their orders by using code MOMJEANS0811. Unlike the regular promotion they offer on their site, this code can be used as many times as you want until Dec. 31st, 2011. You can still just use one code per order. Sooo... I would definitely email the code and your shopping list to your hubby STAT. That's how I got my favorite skirt last year, ladies. It's called "taking the bull by the horns" or something like that. I'm totally happy with my new LBD and totally recommend you start getting your festive wardrobe together ASAP... just no bell earrings or reindeer shirts kthanx.

Happy shopping!

Freaky Friday: A Major Case of the Stabbies

I recently spent some time with a person who was a "cost-dropper."

Oh, you don't know what that is? A cost-dropper is someone who always wants you to know how much everything she bought cost her. Cost-dropping can be annoying when a person always wants you to know how cheap everything she bought was, but it's roughly 67.9 times more annoying when she wants you to know how EXPENSIVE it was.

*This* cost this much and I usually only use stuff that costs *this* much and also I'm annoying.

Here's the thing. A lot of times, cost doesn't mean a dang thing. I hate the idea of women thinking that if they don't have a massive clothing budget, they can't look good. That's why I like to mix and match different price points in my outfit. Sure, I like a designer watch, but I also love my Target socks, my Walmart reversible belt and my Forever21 blazer. If it looks good, I don't care what it costs or what brand it is.

I'm very open minded that way. It was my liberal Canadian upbringing. So I start to get a major case of the stabbies when someone wants to keep reminding me how much money she spends on stuff because I don't think it's worth a lick.

Not to mention, there's a lot of people who spent kajillions on their clothes and still look crappy. So I decided to dig up some designer finds on FF today. I've done it before and it's freakishly easy.

Tin man couture is always hot, especially at the cool price of $1,210.
My favorite part is how it triangulizes the boob area.

I've renamed this $1,045 sweater "The Expediting of Old-Lady Turkey Arms." Go ahead, try waving!

"Uh... the collection is due and this $1,000 mesh dress thingy isn't finished!"
"DO we have any construction paper left?"
"Yes!"
"Just cut out some circles and group them so they look like flies! Masterpiece!"

"What about this $9,600 jacket."
"Dollar-store pompom balls! GO!"

I know this is a $4,700 Marchesa dress but it just smacks of early 90s prom. And if you're wondering, that's not a good thing. The early 90s was a bleak, bleak time for fashion.

I call this $1,600 sweater dress "The Smuggler." As in, you want to fly but can't be separated from your rare Himalayan rabbits so you jam them into the pockets of your ugly sweater so as not to arouse suspicion. Also... this was SOLD OUT.

Seriously, if you're going to charge me $3,700 for a jacket, would you mind giving me the whole thing? (This is proof I'm getting old. I also complain about buying ripped jeans.)

This $11,220 fur diaper is also sold out, so looks like some freaks are going to have a very unhappy Christmas indeed.

When I haven't gotten the slightest clue where my head goes in a $2,400 dress, I feel like it's a bad sign.



So seriously, don't feel bad if you don't spend major coin on furry diapers and whatnot. I'll still love you shopping at the mall or T.J. Maxx and if you play your cards right, you'll look better than those who pay for labels.

Alright, so I confessed my pet peeve with cost-droppers.... anyone else want to join the fray and vent it out? It's Friday! Let's get our stabbies out so we can have an awesome weekend!

Reader Question: Brown and Black

We haven't done a reader question in a few months, and I got a great one from Ashley that I felt needed some serious attention because it's something I've struggled with too. Here's her question!

"I don't know if you have every done a post on wearing black and brown together. It has always been something that I am afraid of doing (don't know why). I tend to wear more black than brown but I have a really really cute pair of brown booties that I wish I could wear more."

Ah, Ashley, I feel your pain. I too have purchased things that I wish I could wear more so I'm always struggling to Tim Gunn that bad boy and make it work. In general, it's pretty rare that I pair brown with black but mostly because I'm a color girl, not because of any lingering fashion rules or anything like that. And like most color combos, it's totally fair game when doing it right.

The problem with wearing brown and black together is that it's usually done sloppily and without any direction. As long as you put a little thought into it and don't dress like you're shopping at Walmart at 3 a.m., you can totally pull of a brown and black combo. It's totally sophisticated and is awesome for the winter, when colors tend to be darker and richer anyway.

Can I make you a believer? Here's some ways to make black and brown look on purpose.


Try a Pattern

Vero Moda leopard print top, £22
H M slit skirt, £25
Platform pumps, $33
Clutch bag, $28
Monsoon yellow gold earrings, £7

One of the easiest ways to wear brown and black together is to find a pattern that already has the two colors. It makes the combo a no-brainer since you can wear brown or black and the pattern acts as the unifier for the entire outfit. Leopard is a perfect example... just not a leopard bustier, people. This loose top is perfect because it isn't so va-va-voomy. This skirt is also amazing. I tried it on when I was H&M on Saturday and am kind of kicking myself because I didn't end up buying it. WHY!? Anyway, this top would look just as cute with a brown skirt and the shoes tie in both colors without being too matchy. WIN.

Go Casual

H m cardigan, £15
Hollister Co. faded jeans, $40
Gabriella Rocha buckle boots, $89
Ziba gold earrings, £20
Zara leather belt, $36
Genuine leather belt, £32
Carly Hobo Black - HOLD EVERYTHING - Purses, $44

Another way to try brown and black together is to wear more casual versions of the color. Instead of a chocolate brown, a cognac or tan pairs better with black. Then, look for textures that are casual so that the contrast between the two colors isn't so stark. A knee high slouchy boot with a warm cardigan? Love! Also, you'll notice that the tank underneath has both tones to tie everything together. I have a black tank with brown bows on it and I love how versatile it is... it literally matches everything.

Choose Color

Dorothy Perkins belted dress, £30
Kate Spade fishnet hosiery, $28
H M leather ballerina flat, £13
Dorothy Perkins gray handbag, £20
Pieces chain jewelry, $11
Wet Seal tahitian pearl jewelry, $9.50
Codello vintage shawl, £4

When wearing black and brown together, they don't have to be the main event. By pairing a bright dress (jewel tones look awesome with brown AND black) you can then pull both colors into the accessories, so the look is WAY less obvious. I love the idea of doing a scarf and flats to tone down a serious dress. When wearing brown and black together, keep your accessories in the gold family.

So is this something you would try? Or are you a strict one-neutral-per-outfit girl? Or guy? I don't discriminate!

What I Wore: Casual Red + Black Friday

When I thought up this outfit I wanted some way to wear my red skinnies that wasn't so "Zzzzzomg LOOK AT ME I HAVE RED PANTS!" Pairing them with a button down and sheer sweater made them traditional enough that I wore them to my daughter's kindergarten Thanksgiving feast.



Now that Thanksgiving is over and we're on full steam ahead for Christmas, I've turned my house upside down to basically look like Santa's workshop. So if it feels like it's a bit stingy on pictures today, it's because I spent all weekend shopping and decorating.


I did a lot of this (GLITTERRRRRR)


And some of this (Christmas definitely barfed on my house)


A little of this.


And a lot of this. The kids were interested for exactly 4.5 seconds.

Oh well! Now I'm onto festivities. I know I already asked on my Facebook page, but I want to know if you braved the crowds for Black Friday. I went out around 5am Friday but didn't want to do the whole "Open at Midnight" business. Also, I did mall shopping on Saturday and *might* have grabbed a few things for myself. I'm excited to show you guys! I also convinced my sister in law to both try on and BUY skinny jeans, so it was kind of a productive weekend.

Now onto a productive week before I head up to Canada for a little while. Today's task: Get my six inch roots taken care of. WIN!

Awesome Nail Tutorials and Ideas

So I'm basically the worst nail biter in the history of nail biters. It's completely stress-related and I usually don't care because my nails are just not a priority for me. Plus I have obscenely childlike hands. When we were getting married our photographer wanted to take a ring picture and my husband and I were both like "NO!" because he has giant basketball hands and mine stopped growing at age eight.

But a couple weeks ago I was more stressed than usual and I was taking it out of my nails like usual when I was like "OMG Jae you are being gross." So I decided to stop chewing my nails to give them a break for a week. Now, when I'm not biting my nails, the only thing that's stops me is prettiness. Because I am so vain that I won't bite if it ruins my nail polish. Enter my obsession with cool nail design on Pinterest. Have you seen some of the stuff people do? It is mind blowing!! I've been testing out a few designs and I'll share my faves with you. If there's an available tutorial, you can click the picture... otherwise I'll give you a quick how-to rundown? Then you'll have the awesomest nails when you head out to Thanksgiving tomorrow. Good? Great.



(Tutorial)

Marble Nails:

This is what I have on my nails. Me and my cute daughter spent an afternoon playing with colors and swirly patterns and I loved it. I did a navy blue with an iridescent pink and it came out looking like awesome acid wash. The nail polish creates this flexible film on top of the water that is picked up my your nails when you dip. Cool, right? Just have lots of nail polish remover on hand to get at the messy bits.


(Tutorial)

How freakin' pretty would this be for holiday parties? It's just a glitter polish layered over a regular one in monochromatic colors. You could also do this with loose glitter, but I'm way too spastic for something like that.



I love this idea! Graphic nails are pretty but can be a leetle overwhelming. By mixing two patterns, it calms down the graphic prints and would look crazy adorable for a garden party or bridal shower.


(Tutorial)

These are SO brilliant and an excellent way to use up all of those expensive scrapbooking papers that are currently sitting in a forgotten tupperware in your basement... not that I have any experience with that whatsoever. But seriously. Scrapbook paper teamed up with rubbing alcohol transfers awesome patterns to your nails. Who knew?




This is going to be my next style I try. My bathrooms are painted like this -- the same color, just shiny over matte. Something like this is high style while still being subtle and I LOVE dark nail polish. These tips make the look less Queen of Darkness too. Also, did you know that if you stretch an elastic band over your nail, you can paint over it to create a perfect French tip? The things you learn on Pinterest!! (We're friends, right?)



(Source)

I love the idea of doing eahc nail a different color or design, but it's going to look juvenile unless you stick within the same color family. These peach tones with a bit of sparkle? Adorable and still adult while being super fun.


(Tutorial)

If you're a massive word nerd like me, these newspaper nails probably make you inexplicably happy. And they're super easy to create with newspaper and rubbing (or real) alcohol. I want to try this desperately on my toes but we don't ever buy the paper unless it's Thanksgiving, so I'm gearing up to try it tomorrow with my Black Friday paper! WOO!




How awesome is this modified French tip? It's created by using a sponge eyeshadow applicator of all things. Just dip the tip into a nail polish color and start dabbing on your tips, lightening your hand as you move down the nail. These are super pretty and professional without being too stuffy.

Alright, so are you going to try any of these? Once I get over the awesomeness of my acid wash swirly nails, I definitely want to go with the matte/shiny French tip. What's your fave?



Just as long as it's not these....

What I Wore: Breaking Dawn

I went to see Breaking Dawn on Saturday night (sans husband, because I'm nice like that.) I have this love/hate relationship with the Twilight movies. I generally think it's a terribly written series and the movies are pure cheese, but I was really into them at the beginning and now I feel obligated to take part.

Now don't worry, I'm not one of those hardcore desperate housewives types that like, goes at midnight wearing fangs and a Team Whatever shirt. I waited a whole day to even make plans with my sisters-in-law to buck up and go.

I am SO GLAD I did. Don't get me wrong. I definitely thought it was a terrible movie. But it was the funnest terrible movie I've ever seen. Not like You Don't Mess With the Zohan. That was terrible and not fun.

I knew it would be a good night when the opening credits said BREAKING DAWN: PART ONE and the guy sitting next to us whispered loudly, "There's a Part Two!?" I lost it completely and spent the next two hours holding in my giggles. Hey, I did my best. The wedding was fun and I was totally on board until the wolves started talking.

THE WOLVES STARTED TALKING.

As a general rule, any time I see I movie, I'm totally on board until the animals start up. I loved Rise of the Planet of the Apes until the last 40 seconds when Cesar started talking and I couldn't take it seriously any more. I mean really. Animal voices always sound so cheesy. When the Jacob wolf started talking about his wolf lineage I laughed so hard that I seriously regretted the large Diet Dr. Pepper I had with my popcorn.

Anyway, we were sitting in front of a group of girls and one had never read the Twilight books before. The whole movie, I could hear her friend explaining things to her. When Jacob imprints on Renesmee (ew) she yelled out, "Wait, WHAT!? On the BABY??" and I could not stop laughing. I'm sure the tweens and the desperate housewives were so over me by the time the movie was over. Luckily I had my friends, the incredulous husband and the newbie to roll my eyes with. Both of my sisters-in-law thought it was pretty ridiculous too -- at least, that's what I gathered from the smothered giggles and one loud snort from me.

So, my overall review? It was a great movie. For best results, go drunk.

Here's what I originally planned to wear to the movie:


See? I told you I didn't dress up.
Tank: ModBod
Tunic: Love on a Hanger @ Nordstrom
Jacket: Charlotte Russe
Jeans: Abercrombie
Boots: Fryeeeeeees

I said "planned to" because five minutes after this picture was taken I managed to drop salsa down my shirt and had to change. But it was the thought that counted. I'm just being honest.



OMG Jae enough with the peacock WELL I LIKE IT OK!?

Please tell me: did anyone else see the movie? Am I just an insensitive jerk or was it like, the fastest route the cheeseville? Give it to me straight!

Freaky Friday: Etsy Fails

Oh, Etsy... you fill me with such concurrent joy and shame. Peacock feather anything? Hooray! Sad cheetah shorts? Boo.


YAY I have been looking everywhere for an ill-fitting dress made out of poorly dyed doilies. The best part is that it in no way functions as a garment, so you still need to wear a complete outfit underneath. So HANDY.


This is the "hungry cheetah" skirt. Honestly, they look more dejected and gassy than hungry.


I love how this dress is titled as being "Oscar" worthy. I'm sorry, do you mean the porn Oscars? This wins for Most Artful Use of Tin Foil to Cover Your Naughty Bits.


Am I the only one who feels hungry for bacon?


Oh, I love this layering "Vest" otherwise known as a piece of discarded fabric. The second best part? Homegirl here looks like she's been living in the woods for quite some time now.


Upcycled denim shorts? YES PLEASE. I've been looking for a way to make myself look like a cracked out disco queen.


Or we could just go with these pants. They just scream "I'm unemployed!" You can wipe that sassafras look off your face, miss thang.


Jellyfish tentacle leggings, anyone?


No?


Ok... me neither. We can stay friends.


Oh good, another jacket from the "Your Kindergarten Teacher in 1991" collection!


I never thought I'd ever have to say this on my blog.... but does this look a little too "Robin Hood" to you?


Of course, I also saw a shirt on Etsy that I reeeeeeeeeeeeally want. So I'm gonna go ahead and call it a wash this week. Happy Friday, guys!