What I Wore: Breaking Dawn

Monday, November 21, 2011

I went to see Breaking Dawn on Saturday night (sans husband, because I'm nice like that.) I have this love/hate relationship with the Twilight movies. I generally think it's a terribly written series and the movies are pure cheese, but I was really into them at the beginning and now I feel obligated to take part.

Now don't worry, I'm not one of those hardcore desperate housewives types that like, goes at midnight wearing fangs and a Team Whatever shirt. I waited a whole day to even make plans with my sisters-in-law to buck up and go.

I am SO GLAD I did. Don't get me wrong. I definitely thought it was a terrible movie. But it was the funnest terrible movie I've ever seen. Not like You Don't Mess With the Zohan. That was terrible and not fun.

I knew it would be a good night when the opening credits said BREAKING DAWN: PART ONE and the guy sitting next to us whispered loudly, "There's a Part Two!?" I lost it completely and spent the next two hours holding in my giggles. Hey, I did my best. The wedding was fun and I was totally on board until the wolves started talking.

THE WOLVES STARTED TALKING.

As a general rule, any time I see I movie, I'm totally on board until the animals start up. I loved Rise of the Planet of the Apes until the last 40 seconds when Cesar started talking and I couldn't take it seriously any more. I mean really. Animal voices always sound so cheesy. When the Jacob wolf started talking about his wolf lineage I laughed so hard that I seriously regretted the large Diet Dr. Pepper I had with my popcorn.

Anyway, we were sitting in front of a group of girls and one had never read the Twilight books before. The whole movie, I could hear her friend explaining things to her. When Jacob imprints on Renesmee (ew) she yelled out, "Wait, WHAT!? On the BABY??" and I could not stop laughing. I'm sure the tweens and the desperate housewives were so over me by the time the movie was over. Luckily I had my friends, the incredulous husband and the newbie to roll my eyes with. Both of my sisters-in-law thought it was pretty ridiculous too -- at least, that's what I gathered from the smothered giggles and one loud snort from me.

So, my overall review? It was a great movie. For best results, go drunk.

Here's what I originally planned to wear to the movie:

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See? I told you I didn't dress up.
Tank: ModBod
Tunic: Love on a Hanger @ Nordstrom
Jacket: Charlotte Russe
Jeans: Abercrombie
Boots: Fryeeeeeees

I said "planned to" because five minutes after this picture was taken I managed to drop salsa down my shirt and had to change. But it was the thought that counted. I'm just being honest.


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OMG Jae enough with the peacock WELL I LIKE IT OK!?

Please tell me: did anyone else see the movie? Am I just an insensitive jerk or was it like, the fastest route the cheeseville? Give it to me straight!

15 comments:

Lindsay said...

I'm a little ashamed to admit that I went to the midnight showing with a TON of friends from Church! The best part of the movie was going with friends and laughing to myself...I completely agree with you! :)

Jae said...

lol Lindsay, as long as you went at midnight and laughed. I'm afraid that if I went that late I would have been completely oblivious and thrown popcorn at the screen.
And I might have missed the hilarity in vampires punching wolves in their faces.

Arienette said...

I am not ashamed at *all* to admit I went to the midnight screening. It was a million shades of awesome.
I went with someone who'd never read the books or seen the other films though, so my patience was sorely tested.
It was roffletabulous though. Cheese personified. When they're talking baby names? The look on Jacob's face is SO GOOD. I kind of want to see it again, just for giggles.

Jae said...

OMG YES. I don't know, but something about seeing it played out on the big screen made me think "WOW this is SUPER ridiculous." Also, I felt like Jacob did nothing but be angry and run around shouting "YOU DID THIS" the entire movie.

Natalie said...

Thanks for the warning. I was so into the books and the movies just disappoint me. It's a love/hate relationship here. Duly noted to knock back a few shots first....

Madi said...

I'm with ya girl! Terrible. cheesy. awkward. The best part was seriously laughing with my sister and our friend. And am I the only one who thinks the vampire makeup is beyond terrible? The powdered faces, hideous wigs - I can't get past it. p.s. I about died on the wolf talking scene - I thought for one second I was watching a kids show with my son :)

Jae said...

OMG the makeup. Like, we get it. They're VAMPIRES. Rosalie always looks like a pale Hispanic to me! lol.

Honestly, SO many people in the theatre were laughing at not-funny parts. I think it's just universally ridiculous.

Kate said...

I just saw the first "Twilight" movie a few weeks ago. Laughed so hard I cried. Can't wait to watch the rest :) but I'm going to stretch out the enjoyment and watch them in order.

Same with the books actually... I scoffed, lauged, and eye-rolled my way through them... and kept turning pages, for some reason. It must be the equivalent of grown men reading comic books. A blast back to adolescence from time to time never hurt anyone, right? ;-)

Jae said...

Oh, totally... harmless fun. I'll definitely see the last one... just because I'm a glutton for punishment and I enjoy creating unlikely friendships with complete strangers in movie theatres.

Also, did you notice how often the word "grimace" is used in the books? Like, you could play a drinking game with it.

stephiloo said...

When I went to the last Twilight movie (I've never read the books, yet my friends loved them and now I get dragged to every movie) my best friend and I could not contain ourselves. The third member of our movie-watching-party sat in his seat as leaned over as far away from us as he could get because he was so enthralled with the film, and when the lights came up there was a perfect circle of empty seats surrounding us. I guess our laughter drove the tween movie-goers away... every seat (whether on the sides, angles, in front or behind) adjacent to us when the lights went down was full. Oops!
...but seriously... "Bella, what are you doing here? Is everything ok?" and "I'm hotter than you". Watch the last one again and you'll crack up at those parts, too.

HollyElise said...

"Rosalie always looks like a pale Hispanic to me!"
That makes sense since the actress is Hispanic :p

I saw it, I had to, opening weekend, it's a tradition. Go, giggle, annoy the Twihards beside me. :D
I read the books (not to sound all hipster) before they got so BIG and I enjoyed them, they were the perfect escape from everyday life at that point (long-distance dating + HORRIBLE stressful job). So I have a soft spot for Ms. Meyer's sparkly vampires...

Anonymous said...

It's a total cheese fest! A super wonderful silly festival of cheesiness! This one has been the worst of the bad, and I just keep thinking "ya'll know thats sharkboy you're drooling over right?" And I laughed hysterically when one 'friend' was practically orgasmic when Jacob hit the screen shirtless and my other FRIEND said " you realize that he's only a year older than my son right" ewwwwwwwww.

Jae said...

Holly, that's what I mean. WHY would they cast a Hispanic girl and then powder her up and make her wear a blonde wig? It is just bad news bears.

And OMG yes, middle-aged women screaming over what is meant to be a 17 year old boy equals grossness. Plus we all know that Zac Efron is my fave teen heartthrob and he's like, totally legal. LOL!

bequi said...

I went to the midnight showing with 2 sisters and a friend. We sat next to strangers and shared our candy with them. When the wolves started talking, our little section laughed our guts out and I looked around and EVERYONE IN THE THEATER was glaring at us! It was awesome! My sisters and I like to watch the movies with commentary because the actors are SOOO embarrassed by how lame the movies are. It's awesome.

Am I the only person here who noticed Bella's nipple winking during the honeymoon sex scene? I was so shocked, every time she came on screen with less that a full shirt, my sister and I covered the bottom of the screen with our hands. Obviously not physically covering the screen, just holding them up so we couldn't see the bottom.

bequi said...

Also, every time she gulped the blood, we'd gasp as loud as we could. People sitting next to us were swearing at us before the movie was over.

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